Alternatively,
by Flyawayfreedom
Summary: Things takes a different turn in SiH. How will the scene unfold instead ? Out of character Ritsu. Semi Au
1. Intro

Hello dear fan reading this ! I want to give an intro about this story to you guys first.

I wanted to write how things would happen if we had a different Out Of Character Ritsu here. In the starting he was but now the story is more of an AU instead.

Some of the ideas are inspired by discussions I have with fans regarding the manga and whatever i see that brings a spark on tumblr.

As for the title of the chapters, they used to be linked to the title of the story. So it's like this: '' Alternatively,-'' but it doesn't matter anymore.

Please leave me a little review if you enjoy it!

**I do not own Sekaiichi hatsukoi or the characters. Nakaruma sensei does.**

Updated on 25/3/2015


	2. I won't be blushing

Episode Three: On the Train.

"I'm not avoiding you, if that's what you mean," lied Onodera smoothly as he turned and faced Takano-San, blinking a few times on purpose. It always seemed innocent and natural enough that it made people stop probing.

He'd done it for so many years that it felt like a chore rather than an act. Over time, Ritsu's learnt – and mastered – the art of faking emotions. He could even blush on cue, albeit it wasn't always successful, but he'd at least found a way to stop blushing uncontrollably when around people and in difficult situations; situations like this.

''Why would I avoid you? '' Questioned the brunette who was squeezed into a corner in the tightly packed train. Coming out of his mouth, the idea of it sounded ridiculous.

While Onodera was, in fact, avoiding the tall man, that didn't mean he had to admit it. It would only give him more ideas. It's true that Onodera had always been nice and polite to everyone, but the horrible incident forced him to adapt, while maintaining a happy (or at least normal) front at the same time. He couldn't have told his parents. They would've freaked, and he didn't think An-Chan would understand either.

_What if I upset her? There's no one else I can share it with. Why did I even consider that?_

_Are you alright? Oh *blinks* I'm fine._

_Is something bothering you?_

_*Smile* No *smile*._

The young boy had learnt how to act a long time ago, and had been doing it ever since. If he could fool everyone, he could fool this man too.

"If I really were avoiding you, Takano-San, I wouldn't even take the train, would I?" asked Ritsu, applying a seemingly logical explanation, all the while looking at his superior straight in the eye.

After this point, people would usually just drop their suspicions and laugh, feeling silly for having had such an assumption in the first place. Ritsu would then see the conviction in their eyes and know that he had won. They'd leave him alone.

Takano-San, however, did not fall for it. He pinned his gaze onto Onodera's, his amber eyes unreadable.

_It's alright,_ thought Ritsu, holding his gaze before turning his own green eyes back to the train window. _I can do it too._

"I think it's all just coincidence that I always have to leave or do something whenever you see me." Onodera explained further. The train shook as it turned abruptly around a bend. Ritsu closed his eyes and steadied himself, leaning against the doorframe for support. _Good luck trying to read me now._

"You're thinking about it too much," he added with a tone of finality. He wasn't a naïve schoolboy anymore, and he refused to act like he was facing a childhood crush. Time had toughened Onodera Ritsu up.

With those as his final words, the conversation ended.


	3. Onodera Ritsu knows what to do

**Episode Four: In the Restroom**

Cold water splashed his face. The new manga editor turned off the tap and wiped his face roughly using a paper towel, reawakening his senses. Finally, he had a chance to prove himself_–_and he'd succeeded. Feeling worn from the mental and physical toll that came with flying to and fro in order to quickly finish his work, Onodera patted his cheeks. What a close call. Exhaustion was starting to sink in. It was worth it though, if he could prove his worth to himself_–_and to everyone else_–_even just a bit.

Out of the corner of his eye, Onodera spotted a head of dark hair behind him.

''Yokozawa-San,'' greeted Onodera as he spun around. ''Is there anything I can do for you?''

The sales manager regarded him coolly, folding his arms.

''You've got guts coming to Marukawa,'' he spat.

Onodera blinked, his mind working fast. _Is he talking about me being the heir to Onodera Publishing? _He stands still. _That doesn't mean I can't work here._

''I'm sorry,'' the editor apologized. ''But I'm not quite sure if I understand the situation. ''

_What, is there some company policy that states the heir of a rival company can't work in theirs? Besides, I'm in shoujo manga, not lit._

Whatever the reason, Onodera didn't think a confrontation in the restroom was a great idea_. _Yokozawa-San was loud, and really annoying. But of course, the newbie knew better than to piss the wild bear of Marukawa Shouten off by saying all that was in his head, especially when he was so fresh. After all, what good would come from creating unnecessary trouble for himself?

''Don't act dumb,'' growled the older worker. ''You know that the reason why Masamune is all screwed up is because of you.'' He stated angrily, eyes narrowing down on the younger man opposite him.

_This is interesting,_ thought Onodera as he processed everything, going back to the time he saw Takano and Yokozawa-San having a shouting match, only to be seen laughing together over jokes during a smoking break afterwards, looking like chummy buddies. Although editing in shoujo manga wasn't as fulfilling as working with literature, things were certainly turning out to be more and more interesting with each passing day.

Onodera didn't refute Yokozawa's statement_–_he had more things to find out. Instead, he posed his own question.

''Excuse me for asking this Yokozawa-San,'' began the green-eyed editor, their relationship piquing his curiosity. _Might as well ask since the man's standing in front of me. _''Are you two lovers?''

Flabbergasted, the normally scary-looking sales manager's face turned a surprising hue of red as he struggled to compose himself at the blunt question thrown at him. Watching, Onodera suppressed a smirk at the reaction. _Ah, I see._ He'd seen enough of that emotion to know what it was. After all, the jaded adult had been through it himself.

''It's…It's none of your business what we are!'' exclaimed the flustered sales manager.

''Its okay Yokozawa-San,'' reassured Onodera, giving his higher up an understandable smile. ''I stalked him for three years, but he still gave me a chance anyways.'' _Or so it seemed._

The brunette bit his tongue, not wanting to lose his composure by bursting out laughing at seeing the ferocious sales manager look so_ embarrassed_. Though he knew he was pushing his boundaries, Onodera couldn't help but enjoy the surprise people got from being caught off-guard by an unassuming person such as himself.

_Don't piss him off. Don't piss him off. Don't piss him off,_ he chanted in his head as he smiled broadly.

''If you're concerned about that, I can assure you I'm not interested in anything but doing my job as a manga editor well,'' Onodera claimed reassuringly, bowing deeply, partly because it was true, but mostly because that was what the man opposite him wanted to hear.

''I hope this conversation can stay between the two of us,'' the brunette requested modestly, since there was no way the prideful elder would ask the younger man to do so himself with that piece of information out in the air.

''Just don't get too full of yourself,'' warned Yokozawa grudgingly.

''It was a pleasure talking to you, Yokozawa-San,'' said Onodera politely before exiting the restroom and returning to his desk.

The rookie was still learning the ropes for shoujo manga editing, but in terms of getting out of a sticky situation_,_ this ain't his first rodeo.

A few minutes later, Onodera saw the sales manager step out of the restroom and go to meet up with Takano.

_This is getting interesting,_ thought Ritsu as he watched them leave together.

_Very interesting._

* * *

**Note: I don't know what's Yokozawa's position in the sales department so I gave him Sales Manager.**


	4. I tell you what you want to hear

_This is annoying, _thought Onodera in irritation, his friendly neighbor façade cracking as he drew his lips into a thin line. He was cold and tired, not to mention he was being pinned against a door that didn't belong to his apartment, trapped against a body stronger than his.

"You're in love with me, aren't you?" probed his superior/neighbor/ex-boyfriend– whatever he was. The guy was turning into a nuisance. Drilling his eyes into Onodera, Takano was working whatever voodoo magic he had over the younger man. The young editor felt cornered again, lately more due to this person standing in front of him. It didn't help that Takano had the gaze of a hunting predator looking at his prey, which in this case happened to be Onodera.

Vexed and exasperated, Onodera looked away and rolled his eyes. Earlier on, his boss had kissed him _because he looked comical_, and then that overbearing friend of his, Yokozawa, had claimed Takano as his. And now he was doing this shit again. _Give me a break already_. The younger man's good mood turned sour when he met Takano, who was with a female companion at the restaurant.

Onodera might have let Takano kiss him a few times, but only because the brunette was caught by surprise and it had been done forcefully. _I am not in love with you, _the brunette insisted in his head.

That time, after the train ride, when Onodera tried one more time to convince Takano to leave him alone since _he has a girlfriend,_ Takano called him out on his bullshit lies, calling him a liar and subsequently forced him onto the floor, kissing him. Just in time, Onodera had managed to pull himself together before the arrival of the sales manager. He wouldn't have managed to convince him that there was nothing going on so spectacularly well otherwise. However, Takano must have told him something, or he had seen the kiss. Why else would Yokozawa claim him as his?

Demanding an answer, the older man tightened his grip on Onodera's arms further. A few hours ago, Takano himself was with another woman, so how dare he call Onodera irresponsible?

''Why don't you go play with Yokozawa-San instead?'' suggested the annoyed brunette harshly, remembering the sales manager. A new wave of annoyance hit the young editor. Fruitlessly, he tried to peel Takano's fingers off of him. _Why are they giving me so much crap?_

''Huh?'' started Takano. ''Yokozawa is just a friend.''

_A friend?_ Onodera raised an eyebrow. _You sure about that?_

''Maybe you should ask Yokozawa-San about that.'' Doubtful, Onodera raised both his eyebrows while keeping a neutral expression. He'd been shaking though, not knowing whether it was from the cold or from being confronted like this. _It's the cold_, the young editor insisted, in denial of the situation he was in.

''Oi!'' Takano raised his voice. ''You should listen to what other people are telling you!''

_And you should listen to your own advice_, thought Onodera, lips shut.

Takano stared, waiting impatiently. ''You still haven't answered me.'' The pair of amber eyes burned into him; Onodera hated it-he hated the storm of emotions that raged inside him whenever this person was nearby.

Onodera studied the man holding him. _He's so desperate for an answer._ Then Onodera realized; he had the upper hand– not Yokozawa– not Takano. He did. Onodera became calm again.

For a few seconds, the jaded young man considered acting dumb, but no, he changed his mind.

''You want my answer?'' Onodera made his choice. ''Since you can detect whatever bullshit I'm saying, there's no point in lying to you.'' Takano waited. ''You can tell apart the truth, right? ''

"I am in love with you" Onodera deadpanned. There was no emotion. No exclamation. No love.

The meaning was anything but that, and Takano knew it.

The brunette looked the raven dead in the eyes, dropping all acts. He tried to ignore the rapid beating of his heart as the grip Takano had loosened. The man looked stunned. The brunette grabbed the opportunity to turn to his apartment, standing at his own door.

"Stop assuming I am and harassing me all the time," he said, taking out the keys. Onodera wasn't acting; this was him–crystal clear. "What I do outside of work is none of your business." He wasn't going to lose his composure again. "I don't need your approval to decide who I spend my free time with after taking care of my work."

"Listen up, Onodera," said Takano finally, his drenched hair soaking his coat. "I love you."

_There he goes again._ Slamming his open door, Onodera turned and looked at Takano.

"YOU listen up," snapped Onodera, fuming. "I answered you already, so stop harassing me.'' _What does he want from me? _"If you're mad about me leaving you ten years ago, I'm sorry. I thought you were playing with me so I left." _You still are_. "If you really love me, leave me alone."

Silence.

_What? What else does he want?_

''I will never fall in love with you,'' the editor stated, "so leave me alone and let me do my job in peace, editor in chief." Onodera didn't bother looking at the same person he had loved so long ago. He'd looked more than enough during those three years in the library, as the dreams he had in the morning reminded him. Twisting the door open, Onodera slammed it shut once he was inside.

That was the truth, or what he told himself anyways


	5. Oneshot

**This is a stand alone story with no relation to any of the chapters/**episodes** of the **manga/**anime.**

Slowing his car to a stop, Takano stares at the traffic light. It switches to a glaring red right after amber. Tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, Takano wonders just where the hell Ritsu is. He was avoiding him again. The editor in chief did expect Onodera to do that every now and then since the brunette would try anything to avoid falling in love with him, but what irritated Takano was the fact that his neighbour actually did succeed in getting away from his clutches.

While he wasn't new to the brunette's see-and-run routine, Ritsu somehow found a way to hide from him on the way to work and disappear again after. He didn't see him get out of his apartment in the morning and neither did he see him in the train they took together. Yet, the newbie arrives to work on time or even earlier, already busy with work.

''Where were you? '' interrogated Takano once during lunch break.

''What do you mean where? '' replied Ritsu in annoyance.

''I didn't see you get out of the apartment, and neither did I see you on the train. ''

''Well, I was obviously on my way here,'' answered the younger man, not giving any specific details. ''Where else can I be? ''

So Onodera wasn't going to tell him anything, eh ?

Then, the raven decided, he just have to do it his way- which meant incessant loud pounding on the door in the wee earlier morning, along with multiple calls until the brunette picks up. Only then can Takano get the little brunette into the car with him to drive them both to work. Strangely, instead of getting a displeased sleep-deprived Ritsu answering the door to tell him to _stop with the knocking_, there was no reply.

''Onodera !'' called Takano as he knocks the door. After a few minutes, the editor in chief puts his ears on the door and listens. Nothing. No movements.

'' _Where is that brat ?_ '' wondered Takano, swallowing thickly. Irrational fear was rising in him as a sudden thought of Ritsu moving without telling him appeared in his mind. The party picks up the call- Onodera answers.

''Where are you? '' demands Takano, releasing the breath he was holding.

''Going to work.'' The answer came with a background of traffic noise. A shrill horn of a car was heard.

''Wher-''

''Excuse me Takano san, I have to go,'' said Onodera hurriedly, cutting him off. He didn't pick up any of the calls afterwards.

So Takano had no choice but to go to work in his car- alone. Too busy thinking about Ritsu, Takano hadn't notice the motorbike which had stopped next to him, waiting for the traffic light too. Wearing a helmet which concealed his face, the driver was watching Takano, who was oblivious to his surroundings. If Takano had paid a bit more attention to his side, he might have realized the staring of the biker, observing him. As usual, the raven had a neutral expression. However, there was an extra crease above his eyebrows. Amused, the masked biker watches as the default expression returns to the Takano's face when he dials a number on his phone.

His pocket buzzed. The driver turns to the front.

''Hello ? ''

''Onodera,'' said Takano, '' you're not walking here are you? ''

The brunette chuckled at the question.

''Of course not,'' Onodera answered sternly into his Bluetooth headset. He pushes the front shield of his helmet up, waiting.

''Then where the hell are you ? ''

''I told you,'' said Ritsu, watching the blinking green man as it prepares to change into a red light. '' I'm on my way.''

As the pedestrian light turns to red, the driver ends the call and slides the shield down. The moment the traffic light turned green- signalling cars to go- the wheels of the green Honda CBR600RR spun as the driver speeds away towards the building of Marukawa publishing.

* * *

After killing the engine, Takano walks towards the building and waits for the lift. Standing near him, two female staffs were chatting excitedly.

''Did you see him this morning ? Onodera kun looked so cool ! ''

Takano straightens.

''Yes ! Who knew he actually knew how to drive a motorbike?''

One of them giggles. '' He always look so innocent.''

The editor in chief's expression darkens. So that's why he hadn't seen him. Onodera has gotten himself a new ride.

''Onodera, '' calls Takano as he storms into the office. They were the only ones there. ''Why the hell would you waste your money on a motorbike? There's always the train you idiot!''

Onodera frowns. '' I wanted my own form of transportation. ''

''You could always take the train like you usual do, and my car! Do you even know how to drive one? ''

''For you info,'' scoffs the brunette, '' I do know how to ride one. For one and half years, I did actually travel to uni via my old motorbike, so relax Mr cranky pants. ''

'' Good morning Ricchan ! '' greeted Kisa as he enters the office. The greeting was repeated by a smiling Mino and a grumpy-looking Hatori trailing behind.

''Onodera,'' commanded Takano before Ritsu could say his own good morning. '' Your manuscript is too boring; go edit it all over again. ''

Annoyed, Onodera marches up and grabs the manuscript.

_Sheesh_, thought the editor. _I just wanted my own motorbike._

* * *

**Notes: Sorry for the slow update. School's getting really busy.**

**I this idea when i was listening to GOT7's girls girls girls and all of a sudden, the image of Ritsu riding a motorbike was in my head. **

**I wanted to make him cool without being an ass. I hope Takano wasn't mean in this story.**


	6. Some things remains the same

**Ep 11, at the library.**

Closing his eyes, the tired brunette relaxes, enjoying the night breeze. It was nice-to have nothing to do - to do nothing but enjoy the surroundings. The quiet night brought comfort to his soul. Feeling blissful, Onodera smiles. He was alone and enjoying the solitude. There was no manual to pick up, no phone calls, and most importantly, no-

''What are you doing here?'' came a voice out of nowhere.

Shocked, Onodera nearly jumped out of his skin. Turning around, his shock mixes with dread once he saw his boss standing in front of him. _Speak of the devil._

''What are _you_ doing here? '' counters Ritsu, annoyed that his wonderfully peaceful night was interrupted by the presence of Takano san. The editor in chief was dropping some books into the return slot. '' Other than returning books, what else can I be here for? '_' _

_I can't have a night where I don't see him, can I ?_

After a few exchange of words like _the library here has some rare books _and_ Yea_ and _you can't get them in bookstore_, silences takes over.

''Hey,'' said Takano. '' I don't want you hanging around with people from other departments.''

''Why? ''

''It's annoying,'' the reply came short.

''Don't tell me,'' Onodera starts, feeling mischievous, '' don't me you you're jealous of Hasegawa san.'' The brunette scoffs at his own joke. Expecting to see Takano laughing at it, Onodera gets a serious expression instead.

''It's a joke Takano san,'' the young editor explains. ''You're supposed to be laughing.''

The expression doesn't change. Starting to feel uncomfortable from the drilling gaze of his boss, Onodera leaves. '' I'll be going first. Goodbye''

_Why is it so awkward every time I'm alone with him ?_Absentmindedly, he descends the stairs of the library. Unfortunately, he lost his footing and slipped. In a flash, Takano was over him, holding Ritsu's head, protecting him from the fall.

After another exchange of words like _baka !_ and _you could have crack your head open _and _that was close, _silence takes over, again.

''Takano san,'' said Ritsu, pushing his boss so he could have space to get up. It's about time they let go of holding each other now. They were in that awkward position on the stairs for a while. '' You can let go of me now.''

Takano pushes back, and hugs Ritsu tighter.

''Takano san,'' said Ritsu calmly, stuck. Adrenaline courses through his veins, and Ritsu's heart was beating wildly. '' I'm fine, you can let go now. '' Takano squeezes Ritsu.

''You –''

''Hey,'' starts the raven softly, saying something at last. '' Do you remember anything from then ? ''

''No.'' Ritsu answers instantly. Fearful of what was coming next, the brunette frantically tries to push the raven off._ I don't remember.I don't remember.I don't remember._'' Let go of me. ''

''I'm sure you remember the time you confess-''

''I don't.'' Ritsu panics.

''How about that time you went to my house ? '' Takano grabs him harder.

_Stop_

''No. I don't remember,'' denies Ritsu as he desperately tries to suppress the overwhelming memories-memories which he locked and tucked away so tightly in the corners of his mind- threatening to consume him along with the emotions that came along. '' Let go of me.''

Ritsu pushes and squirms. He wants to escape. He will not go back there. He will not go back to that time when he was fifteen- when first love sounded like a wonderful thing. The calm façade cracks.

''Surely, '' Takano holds Ritsu's face.'' You remember the time we slept together? ''

Digging his fingers into Takano's shoulders, Ritsu looks down.'' No.'' Then he looks up. Large green eyes meets amber iris. '' I don't.''

''Then did you know- that I knew who you were- even before you confessed? ''

_What ?_

Staggering fear, confusion and need to escape made Ritsu brought his hand up and slapped Takano in a desperate attempt to leave as the raven learns in to kiss him forcefully. Running away from everything, Ritsu sprints back home.

_What did that mean?_

**Notes: This was a shorter chapter and not a lot was changed. Still, i hope you can see how Ritsu reacted differently.**


	7. atleast I tried

**Ep 2** when Takano ask if Ritsu remembered him.

* * *

'' You haven't changed at all.''

''Sorry? '' said Ritsu, not catching on to what's his new boss is saying. He was drifting again, thinking about the weird dream he had in the morning. Why did he ever had such a weird dream where he had such a desire towards his boss like that ?

Takano takes another drag at his cigarette, resting his head on his arm. '' You still as direct as ever. ''

Confusion washes over Ritsu, bringing him to awareness as he tries to make sense of the situation. Isn't this only the 2nd time they've met? ''I'm sorry, but do we know each other?'' the brunette asked, ready to apologise if they did, since he couldn't remember the editor in chief.

Taken aback, his new boss's face contoured in surprise as his eyes widen for a fraction of a second. Amber eyes shifts to a shade of cool brown in the dark, fixed accusingly on Onodera. '' Guess you don't remember me then? ''

The newbie shifts in his seat, looking at Takano. Ritsu doesn't want to give an instant reply, incase he does remember him from somewhere. Staring at Takano, Ritsu asked for his name again.

''Takano Masamune, '' his boss answers. The new manga editor takes a sip of his coffee, trying to recall the name, unaware that his new boss was ready to pounce.

''Takano Masamune…'' echos Ritsu. Nails tap against the cold metal can of the drink as he filters through his memories. Since he always addressed people by their family name, the name should be floating somewhere but 'Takano' doesn't ring a bell anywhere at all. Watching the space blankly, the newbie blinks-the name brings nothing up in his head.

While Takano sits and waits, Ritsu looks towards the ceiling as he struggles to recall meeting this person _anywhere_ but here.

''Were you-'' Ritsu turns to Takano '' perhaps someone I know from high school ? ''

Before the editor in chief could answer, Ritsu adds on hurriedly '' because I don't remember anyone from before uni, so I'm sorry if I forgot you. '' Well, the brunette does indeed feel bad, if that was the case. Imagine someone you didn't know from so long back remembering you for whatever reason but you couldn't remember them back!

''You don't remember anything from high school ? '' stated the raven, rubbing the stub of the cigarette down, growing increasingly disgruntled.

''No'' The brunette confirms.

'' Not even Saga Masamune ? '' asked Takano as he pushes Ritsu down the couch and attacks him.

The brunette head snaps up, jolted by a flash of recognition. Memories came rushing as Takano's lips crushes into his. Musty smell of books . Slotted library cards. A particular senior at the seat by the window. Ritsu remembers.

He slaps the raven, feeling not so sorry after all.

''How dare you do that to me, '' rages the brunette, getting ready to throw the can of coffee at his boss. ''After what you did in high school, how dare you do that to me again.''

''Huh?'' says Takano, massaging the stinging red spot. '' What are you talking about ? You were the one who kicked me in the head and left ''

''You-, '' starts Onodera, outraged. '' You were the one who played with my feelings. You laughed when I asked if we were going out.''

''So that's it? '' Takano says in disbelief, grabbing his bag. '' The reason you left was because of that? Because of a misunderstanding. ''

Onodera raises his eyebrows, doubtful. ''Misunderstanding ? '' he spats. The newbie was seriously contemplating punching Takano in the face, new boss or not. '' My emotions aren't a misunderstanding. ''

''So that's it ? '' Turning around to look at his former junior back in high school, a look of firm resolution sets on Takano's face. '' I'm gonna make you say you love me again. '' Declaring that, the editor in chief heads for the lift.

''What the hell ? '' screams Ritsu inwardly at the absurdity of it. He gets up and walks towards Takano.

Standing in front of him, Ritsu makes his stand, determine to carry out his own promise. ''You can dream on. Because that will never happen again. ''

**Hi lovelies, I know this should be the first chapter but I've only got the idea for it now. Poor Takano. I don't know which is worse- getting a quick reply of ' I don't remember you' in the anime/manga to show your insignificance or having to wait as Ritsu goes through slowly everyone he knows in his head and still not remembering him :/**


	8. I know it hurts

**Ep 12**

Anxiously, Onodera Ritsu runs back to the apartment complex. His head stopped spinning with questions only when he finally stepped into the deserted lobby. Once there, the brunette finally relaxes, confident that there was no way Takano would have chased after him; not at the speed he was running.

_Back to safety_

Pressing the button of the lift, Onodera leans against the metal wall, fatigue and relief jostling their way through him. It suddenly felt like a very long day. As the lift travels up, the young man breathes deeply, thinking about his choices.

_I shouldn't have slapped him_

The lift stops

_Should I have slapped him?_

The doors open

_I already slapped him_ so...

Distracted, Onodera walked with his head lowered while he thinks. A figure steps out of apartment 1201, holding a black cat with a white patch on its chest. Upon seeing the new hire, he frowns- obviously not happy with his appearance.

''What are you doing here? ''

Snapping out of his daze, Onodera looks up- Yokozawa san was in casual clothing. Apparently, the senior had the keys to Takano's apartment, because apparently, he just stepped out of it. The brunette didn't know which was more jarring- the sight of him in something other than office wear- or the fact that he was a cat person.

A sense of dread ran through Onodera, followed by a weird sense of déjà vu. He did not want to do this.

''Good evening, '' he greets robotically, face flushed from the sprint. He hopes he can walk past the sales staff already.

''What are you here for? '' grumbled the sales staff, impatient for an answer.

Utter and complete dread passes through Onodera as he braces for the unwanted reaction he was going to get for his answer. '' I live here,'' the brunette answers stoically, pointing to his apartment door, feeling like he was opening the gates of hell ._Please don't tell me you're going to live here too._

''What, are you stalking him now? '' sneered the senior. '' Didn't I tell you to stay away from Masamune ? ''

At the mention of the word, something snaps. The brunette looks ahead . '' Stalking? ''He echoes calmly as his eyelids lowers, making Onodera appear nonchalant. The lid keeping his temper in check was in serious danger of flying off and hitting someone on the face soon.

''What are you doing here? '' asked Onodera.

''What ? '' said Yokozawa, startled.

''I said, '' starts Onodera, throwing his question right back at him. '' What are _you_ doing here? '' No more Mr. Nice guy.

''I-''

''Do you see me coming back with him? '' snaps the editor, eyes flashing with anger. ''Do you see me following him behind like some stalker? No. Now do you see me trailing behind him at work every day? No. Or do you see me harassing him with phone calls every day, like some stalker ? Because if you have a problem with someone going back to their home, I suggest you see a doctor.''

''You-''

''What is your problem? '' demands the newbie as he cuts Yokozawa off, voice low with anger as it bubbles to the surface, rolling off in steams. The cat folds itself into Yokawaza's arms, hiding. Sick of being blamed for whatever issue the guy has, Onodera goes on. '' What is your f-ing issue?'' he repeats, heart beat rising with the adrenaline spiking into his veins.'' Because you have been giving me shit since Day 1, telling me to stay away from Takano san when I have done nothing to him.''

Yokozawa snorts, eyes filled with disgust and intense distaste. 'You've got some nerve, causing such problems and conveniently forgetting about them all. You've really got some nerve. ''

Exasperated, Onodera ask with genuine confusion. ''What are you talking about? ''

''Masamune and I have known each other since collage. He was always a jaded guy due to his family problems. But one day he utterly fell apart. He started skipping lesson, drinking heavily and behaving promiscuously. ''

''So you blame me? '' asked the editor incredulously. Family problems had nothing to do with him. '' Because of his problems, you blame me? ''

''It was all because of you ! '' bellowed the sales staff, tossing Onodera against the wall. Shocked, Onodera freezes. '' The guy he went out with in high school kicked him in the head and left. No explanation. Nothing. Masamune later found out from an old classmate of the scumbag he had a fiancé and was two timing him. Whose fault do you think it is? It was all because of you. ''

Hearing everything, and knowing what happened, Onodera crumples. He looks down on the floor as an overwhelming sense of guilt floods him.

''Did all that really happened? '' the brunette asks in a small voice, guilt and sadness filling his eyes.

''Of course it did ! '' Yokawaza rages, carrying the cat with one arm.

Onodera says nothing, slumping against the wall as Yokozawa releases him. '' Don't ever bother him again,'' he says with a note of finality.

Silently, the editor processes the truth of everything. How he thought Takano had been playing him and left, thinking what a terrible person he was when in actual fact he actually suffered because of didn't know any of that. Not moving an inch, Onodera mumbles something.

''What? ''

''I didn't two timed him. '' The editor says timidly, feeling complete terrible. He doesn't move an inch. ''I never did. ''

At the moment Yokozawa wanted to say something, the lift door chimes and opens. Takano steps out, unaware of what had just happen.

''Oh Takano….'' As Yokozawa and Takano chats, Onodera looks on, lost in his thoughts. Takano bends and picks the cat up, mentioning the name '' Sorata''.A memory surfaces in Onodera's head-on a heavily raining day, a young Onodera watches the raven senior shield the kitten with his umbrella and gently carries the cat up, protecting it from the rain and carries it back home.

The editor gasps as he remembers. Yokozawa leaves, leaving the two of them behind.

''Sorata,'' Onodera says, recalling the sudden memory.

''Ah,'' Takano laments, petting the feline. '' I'm surprise you remember such insignificant detail, but forget the rest. ''

Onodera was still reeling from the shock of the revelation. Seeing his stunned expression, Takano asks whether he's alright. The editor straightens himself and unlocks his door.

''Nothing, '' the brunette answers blankly, turning around to look at his neighbour, properly this time. ''It's just that,'' he drifts, voice getting softer, shaking slightly. '' I… I thought you were kind back then.''

Onodera shuts the door, entering the dark hallway.

* * *

In the safety of his own home, Onodera goes through everything he just learnt, sitting on the floor. Confused and conflicted, the editor wonders whether everything that happened to Takano was really his fault. Back then, he really did left without a backward glance, but he didn't expect all that to happen.

_Was… Did…I didn't expect this to happen_

And then there was the pour of emotions that came with knowing the truth. Even though it was brief, Sorata's appearance just reminded him of the time in high school, when he was still in love with a particular senior.

A knock can from the door. Wearily, Onodera rises up to open it.

''You left this when you fell earlier,'' said Takano, passing a stack of manuscript. Distracted, the brunette takes the papers without a snarky comeback. Noticing that something was off, Takano was about to ask when he saw a thin streak of blood running down Onodera's leg. Telling the newbie he will be back with a first aid kit, his neighbour left the door open as the brunette tries to cope with everything that comes at seeing Takano's face again.

Onodera sits in the hallway as Takano cleans his wound in silence, staring openly at the person he loved.

''Hey,'' says Takano, breaking the silence. '' Are you alright? You've been out for a while. ''

The younger man stares in silence. Takano explains his relationship with Yokozawa , guessing that it was that which was bothering Ritsu.

Taking a while to reply, Onodera's eyes flicker to the floor before resting on his neighbour- his left cheek still had a faint spot of red in the shape of a palm print.

Gingerly, the editor reaches out a hand- the same hand which delivered the slap- placing it gently on Takano's cheek. ''Did it hurt alot ? '' Onodera whispers. Grabbing the hand, Takano presses it into his flesh.

'' I'm sorry,'' the brunette blurts out apologetically, giving a sudden hug to Takano, resting his chin on his shoulder, wrapping his arms around the raven's neck.

A look of shock crosses the raven's face as Onodera repeats his apology. Settling back to his space, Onodera explains.

''I'm so sorry Takano san. I'm sorry of what you went through because of me. I didn't mean to hurt you when I left. I didn't mean to do anything. I … I….'' At this point, Onodera's struggling to get the words out.

Takano leans in and kisses him.

* * *

**What happened next would be what you see in the anime/manga, where Ritsu protested and they got interrupted.**

**So this turn out to be much longer than expected. Oops. **

**From now on, I'm not sure whether I will still go according to the manga or completely deviate from it. This chapter was sort of a mix where i'm trying it out. Let me know what you think**

**Hope you enjoy it and please leave comments!**

**:D**


	9. We're best friends too

Feet pushing off the ground, a brunette rushes to the closing lift.

''Wait, wait! '' Onodera pleads, approaching the lift. Closing, the doors came to an abrupt stop before opening, the person inside holding it.

''Thank you,'' Making to the lift, the brunette says thanks before realizing the person in it was none other than his boss- Takano -and his companion- Yokozawa.

''Good morning,'' the editor-in-chief greets.

''Good morning, '' Onodera greets back weakly, thinking that he should have just taken the stairs instead of the mostawkward lift ride ever in the shortest time possible, feeling the daggers at the back of his series of events which happened the last time the three of them were together flashed through his mind. Lingering guilt and sorrow washes through Onodera.

Shaking the thoughts away, the brunette dashed to his table and immediately starts work once the lift opens; glad to have something else to think about.

At the end of the day, the editor knocks off from work. Taking the lift- this time by himself- Onodera realizes he doesn't know how to act around Takano anymore. Is he supposed to say something? Is Yokozawa in some weird relationship with Takano? Was _he_ in some weird relationship with Takano?

_I definitely am in a bad joke of a relationship with this guy_, thought Onodera. The whole truth of what happened was a bad joke. A really bad one. So he had hurt him too, unintentionally_._ The impression of what Onodera had of the senior for the past ten years has shifted overnight- proven wrong by Yokozawa .

_So, I did mean something to him._

Troubled by everything, Onodera shambles to the exit. For the past few days, he's been avoiding Takano, ashamed. Groaning, the brunette realizes what a mess his life was. He nearly passes someone familiar.

''Ricchan !'' greeted a delighted voice.

Snapping his head around, the brunette smiles at who he sees.

''An chan !,'' greeted Onodera back happily, pleasantly surprise to see his best friend there. She might already have the tittle of Ritsu's future wife to his mum-but to himself, An Kohinata will always have the title of his best friend- in gold.

''What are you doing here? '' asked Onodera, separating from the hug.

''I wanted to surprise you, '' said An, beaming, happy to see the brunette. '' I haven't seen you in a while. ''

''You could have called me to meet over the week ends. ''

'' Your mom tells me you're very busy.'' says An kindly. ''I just wanted to see you for a while. Besides, if I tell you, that won't be a surprise.''

Onodera smiles happily. Finally, someone's presence who he didn't mind – a sight for sore eyes. He's known An chan for almost his entire life. The editor is grateful he didn't do anything drastic like cutting off their friendship when his mom announced the engagement. The two brunettes look at each other.

''Hey, '' says Onodera, an idea forming. '' How about we go do something? It's Friday and I'm sure there's something's we can do to have fun. ''

An chan's face lighted with another bright smile. ''That sounds great Ricchan ! If it doesn't bother you.''

Absolutely delighted, Onodera slung an arm casually around An chan's shoulder. He could take a break from the mess called his life. ''Let's go.''

* * *

''What do you wanna do Ricchan ? '' asked An in the train, looking at him with light brown eyes.

''Hmm…'' The editor considers. No way are they going to do those stupid adult stuff like bars and night club. They're going to do something _fun_.

''No bookstores Ricchan'' teased An , smiling. '' They're probably closed anyway.''

'' I wasn't thinking of that,'' says Onodera, amused. ''And they're still open, for your ….Oh!... Let's do all the things we didn't do before, like karaoke and arcades.'' His eyes were brimming with excitement now. '' We never get to do that because of our parents, now let's do it as adults!''

Looking at him happily, An agreed. '' Okay'' she says softly.

The two brunettes took the train to central Tokyo which was bustling with night life. They scout the place for a karaoke place and belt out songs belonging to their childhood, all the way to the top hits. An cheered when Onodera sing and Onodera cheered when An sing. After two hours of singing and straining their throat, the pair went on to the arcade where they had basketball matches, dance battles, raced cars and tried- but failed hilariously- at trying to pick a Hello kitty plushie in the claw machine.

''To the left, to left! '' said Onodera in a raspy voice.

''No, to the right ! ''

''Move up abit !''

'' You mean down ?,'' said An, distressed. They had a few seconds left until - they lost.

''Let me try,'' said Onodera, determined. ''There's no way we can't beat a machine.''

After a few more tries and attempts at not dismantling the machine, Onodera walks out, victorious.

''Here, you have it.'' The young man passes the plushie to An, who took it joyfully.

''Thank you, Ricchan.''

''Your welcome,'' said Onodera warmly, smiling. The two walked in comfortable silence. '' Should we get something to eat? ''

'' Sure''

''That reminds me,'' chimed the editor.'' Remember when we were younger, people always took us as siblings?''

''Oh yes ! '' laughed An, referring to theirmutual hair colour and fair skin tone.'' The uncle at the ice cream shop gave me a free cone since 'I was your sister'.'' The young lady putted her fingers up and quoted the air. '' Afterwards he found us so cute, he give it for free, always.''

''Yeah,'' agreed Onodera, thinking about their childhood, stopping in front of a sign. ''Late night happy hour,'' he reads out loud. '' 1 for 1, let's go in here! ''

Together, they entered and sat in a booth. Time passes.

''Oh my god,'' exclaimed Onodera, after a meal and a few cups of alcohol. ''Oh my freaking god.''

''Why ?'' asked An in concern, face flushed from the alcohol.

The editor couldn't believe his eyes. In another booth were Takano and Yokozawa, the two people he least expected-and wanted- to see. '' My boss and his friend are here'' commented Onodera drily, slack jawed. ''What the hell are they doing here? '' Sinking into his seat, Onodera raises his head and asked the ceiling.

Turning around, An scanned her surroundings. '' Which two ? ''

Moving her gaze in the direction Onodera was pointing, her sights landed on them.

''The one who looks like an emo goth is Takano san, my boss.'' Onodera turns away, covering his eyes with his hand. _Thank god the place is crowded._

'' You sure he's your editor in chief of shoujo manga? '' said An chan. ''He looks so mean. ''

Hearing the words, Onodera burst out laughing. They were both a little tipsy. The young man chides An chan sternly but continued laughing for a short while. '' Takano san is actually pretty good. He pulled the department up from the grave and turned it into the highest earning one with just a year. ''

''And his friend ? ''

''Yokozawa san is in sales. They're good friends.'' Onodera grins. ''Like us.''

An smiles back and echoes the words softly, a look in her eyes. ''Like us.''

Giving the two men at the other side another glance, An asked '' You sure it's Yokozawa san and not Yakuza san ? ''

Onodera laughs, face flushed as well. ''Let's get out of here.''

The two walked to the main road when An chan suddenly suggested Ritsu to stay over at her house, she's calling her family chauffer to pick her up.

''My parents would love to have you over. ''

Hearing her suggestion, Onodera perks up instantly. An thinks he's happy to be able to meet her parents but Onodera thinks how good it would be to be able to get away from his neighbour.

After waiting for around half an hour, another pair runs into them- the pair Onodera doesn't want to see. Walking side by side, the sales staff and editor in chief came to a halt when Takano spots Onodera, along with another brunette by his side.

''Oh Takano san, '' greets Onodera, meeting his gaze tipsily. '' and Yokozawa san'' The brunette gives a sloppy salute.

''Urgh, why the hell do I always run into you,'' growled Yokozawa. He shifts his eyes onto Onodera's companion.

''Let me introduce you to someone you liked to meet.'' The brunette puts an arm over An, like he did earlier, causally. '' This person you see here- is my best friend - and also, assigned fiancé by my parents- An Kohinata .'' The editor leans on her for support, eyes closed. An, who's holding up a lot better than Onodera, greets them.

Yokozawa manages a ''Hello'' , all the while glaring at Onodera, who he couldn't tell know what has going on or not, and Takano put on a smile wide enough to look convincing.

'' Yokozawa san, don't look so angry. Isn't this the person you two wanted to meet all along ? '' asked the young man. '' After me, my fiancé- my best friend- the person my parents wants me to marry. ''

''Sorry, he's had too much to drink.'' An apologies.

Yokozawa's glare intensifies. Takano looks on with an unreadable expression.

''They think we're going to get married,'' laughs Onodera. '' Tell them we're not going to get married.''

A sleek BMW rolls around and a guy in black uniform gets out. He opens the door and An gets in. Onodera follows and rolls down the window screen before they leave.

''Bye Takano san ! Bye Yokozawa san !''

* * *

**I've decided to steer away from the manga but there might be some similar points in 1 or 2 of the following chapters.**

**The meaning behind the tittle of this chapter is that Onodera and An chan have a similar relationship between them which is like Takano and Yokozawa- they're best friends to one party, but more than that to the other. **

**Hope you enjoy and leave comments !**


	10. Time to thrash it out

Waking up, Onodera Ritsu stretches and yawns heavily, still feeling rather drowsy. After washing up, the brunette picks up his phone and checks it.

_3 Missed Calls- Mom_

Wondering why his mom called him so early in the morning, Onodera returns the calls. ''Hello Mom ? ''

''Ritsu, you've finally woke up ! It's near afternoon already !''

''Ye-'' Before the brunette could get the word out, his mom barrages on, outraged.

'' What were you thinking? Taking An chan out until so late ? And what were you doing getting yourself drunk until she had to bring you back? Ritsu, how could you trouble a proper young lady like An chan like that! ''

The young man pulls the phone back and shields his ear, looking dismayed.

''I-''

''How are you going to take care of her after you two get married ? Really, you should…''

Tired of listening to his mom nag, Onodera shuts his eyes . He doesn't plan to talk about that topic with her, or more likely- it was her who wasn't ready for Ritsu to talk to her about it.

''Mom, I told you, the marriage isn't going to happen.''

''What are-''

''Yesmom, I understandIwontdoitagain ''

Hastily, the young man speeds through his answer and ends the call quickly, before his mom could give another long string of words and advice. Dumping the phone, he falls back to his mattress, sighing.

_Why does mom always have to mention that word?_

* * *

''Good morning Ricchan ! '' greets An brightly at the dining table, a spread of breakfast items ready for consumption before Ritsu's eyes.

''Good morning An chan,'' replied Onodera tiredly, having a mild hangover. Sluggishly, the young man approaches the table and slumps into his seat.

''Looks like someone had too much to drink,'' observed An chan as she settles in her own chair.

'' I'm fine.'' The editor insists. '' And my mom already called 3 times to tell me not to do it again so don't ruin my morning too.''

Eating in silence, An studies her best friend/fiancé. His usual brilliant green eyes were dull with exhaustion. Under his eyes were dark circles from the lack of sleep and he seem to have lost weight.

''Ricchan ''

''Yes ?''

''Are you doing okay ? '' asked his best friend, voice laced with concern. '' You look really worn, and when you were walking out of your office building, you look like there's something troubling you. ''

Swallowing thickly, the brunette grabs his glass of water and drinks. Awkwardly, Onodera laughs, looking into his bowl of cereal. '' Of course I'm fine, why wouldn't I be? ''

''Ricchan''

''I am !''

''Don't lie me.'' Pouting, An chan gives an unhappy face.

''I'm not !''

Another pointed look from An chan

''How did you know I was lying? '' asked the young man, astounded.

''Ricchann, how long have I known you ?'' asked An certainly.

Another person who Onodera thought had her fooled. Maybe he wasn't such a good liar after all. Conceding, the editor drops his spoon with a light 'clank'. Leaning back in his seat, resignation lines his face.

'' It's just… I feel like I'm not making any progress in my work. Originally, I wanted literature but got shoujo manga instead and had to learn everything from scratch. I wanted to transfer but before I knew it, months passed and it's actually okay. Not as fulfilling as literature, still. I mean it has its good points,but… I'm not producing any good work.''

Seeing her best friend look so upset made her own heart swell in pain as well. ''Ricchan''

He looks at the floor, quiet for a few seconds. ''People at my last job- at Onodera publishing, called me a tail coat rider, because I got all the star authors. But I work hard An chan, I did my fair share of work. I put in every bit of commitment and effort as anyone else. But because of who I am, I got called something I wasn't. And unless I prove myself, I will always remain that to them- a tail coat rider.''

''Do you plan to go back to literature? ''

''I don't really know An chan. I wanted to but then … Now shoujo manga isn't look so bad. I get the same joy with working with the authors as literature.''

''But wasn't literature what you wanted in the first place? They're two different things. ''

''Yea,'' said Onodera, thinking back to his first goal in mind, echoing his answer. ''Yea''

The editor picks up his spoon again, stirring pointlessly in his bowl of milk and cereal. An chan could tell there's something more, something he's holding back. But, the petite brunette doesn't want to push the boy opposite her too much, because she has something else to say.

The topic was never really talked about before- only once. That time, the answer was ''Sorry'' and ''I don't think it's a good idea'' and other words that didn't numb the pain. Maybe they're ready to talk about it again. Maybe, this time-the answer would be different.

Carefully, An chan spoke his name. Onodera could tell from the tone that it was the topic he wanted to avoid- the one his mom wanted so badly to happen.

''Ricchan''

''I'm sorry An chan, but I can't talk about it.'' The editor gets up suddenly from his seat and gives a smile that doesn't quite resemble his. '' Thank you for spending time with me yesterday and letting me stay over. Sorry for the inconvenience caused.''

He leaves, breakfast barely touched.

* * *

''What do I want? '' asked the editor as he walked back home from the train station, despite An chan's insistence on the chauffeur- despite the cold weather of winter. He needed a walk.

''What do I want? '' Onodera ask again, feeling lost. Deep in his thoughts, he strolls his way back, closed off from the world. All along, the brunette wonders –exactly- what does he want? Reaching the lobby of the apartment building, he runs into Yokozawa.

Giving him a wilting look, the sales staff comments on his arrival. '' I see you've finally back. Did you have fun playing with your fiancé last night? If you got so much time, put more of it into your work. ''

''She- I- '' Vexed, Onodera gives up explaining. _He's not going to listen anyways._ '' I don't have to explain anything to you. And you don't have to bother yourself with my matters. For your info, nothing happened. ''

''You've got a lot of nerve saying that after the stunt you pulled last night- introducing her to us in that state. ''

''Whatever,'' says Onodera, rolling his eyes. '' I didn't do anything wrong.''

''I was right to call you a stalker.'' Yokozawa glares. '' Masamune told me what happened last night. So you stalked him while you had a fiancé- you're two timer as well.'' Finishing his sentence, Yokozawa takes his leave.

Within seconds, Onodera was in front of him, blocking his path, looking squarely at him.

''I am not a two timer.'' Onodera states firmly and evenly, anger rising. ''Never call me that again.'' Without waiting for a response, the brunette takes the lift up, looking for the resident of apartment 1201.

* * *

_BANG BANG BANG_

Loud pounding came from his door. Opening it, Takano looks into the angry face of his neighbor, Onodera Ritsu.

''Get out'' commands his subordinate. '' We need to talk.''

Standing at the root top, the two face each other.

''Is that how you treat someone who's sorry? '' yelled Onodera, pissed. His breath warms the air, making it look like he was breathing steam out of his mouth. '' I already apologized for leaving you last time. Did you have to go and make fun of me like that? Did you had to go and called me a stalker and a two timer? ''

The editor presses his temple, trying to prevent a headache from forming. '' An chan is my best friend. Our engagement was agreed by our parents- not us. I told her before I had someone else. She knows I had someone else. And also, I never cheated on you. So tell Yokozawa san so stop calling me a two-timer.''

''Look here Onodera, I don't know what-''

The brunette scoffs, incredulous. '' Oh please, don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. You know Yokozawa san is in love with you. He' been telling me to stay away from you ever since we've met and I bet he will skin me alive if I ever go within one meter radius of you.''

''Onodera,'' says Takano, having enough of all was written all over the editor –in –chief's face. '' I don't have a damn clue what you're talking about. Stop being the pamper prince you are and stop coming up with all these crap on you own! ''

Silence takes over immediately.

'' What I mean is-'' Knowing he said something he shouldn't have, Takano starts to back pedal. However, Onodera cuts him off.

''A pamper prince,'' says Onodera,trying to hide the fact that the words sting. '' So that was all I am to you,'' he concludes, drawing his head downs as he chuckles.

''Ono-''

''You know-'' the brunette starts, voice wavering. ''For a long time Takano san, I couldn't figure out what I was to you. For ten years I wondered what I meant to you. A stalker ? A junior ? Someone you actually love? '' Raising his head up, Onodera looks at Takano in the eye, the hurt giving way to something else. '' You just cleared all my doubts in one shot – a pampered prince. ''

He wants to take it back, to say that he's wrong, to say that he's more than that- so much more.

Tears well up in Onodera's eyes. '' When Yokozawa san told me what happened, I thought'_ Oh no, so I was the bad person all along_'. Because I mistook your actions, I left you without a backward glance. I thought it was wrong of me to do that. But looks like I'm right the entire time.''

''That's not it. ''

Onodera goes on as a tear falls. '' In the end, I'm nothing but a pampered prince to you.'' He sniffles. '' You can laugh at my stupidity for liking you so much back then, but please don't insult the sincerity I had towards you. ''

_Because that was all I ever had_

''Sincerity? '' Takano asked. '' Who was playing with who? You told me you loved me and then left.

Finally, he breaks. '' Did you know how hurt and confused I was? '' the editor in chief asked. '' At first I didn't believe you would leave me, that there was a reason for your disappearance .Then I found out you had a fiancé and was engaged. ''

''And you think it was easy for me? '' Onodera wipes his cheek which was wet with tears, fighting for his side of the story. '' I thought the person I love for so long was a good person- a kind person. When you helped me with my homework, I thought' _Senpai must be a nice person_.' When I saw you carry Sorata back in the rain, I thought, '_ Senpai must be a kind person_.' He must be a really good person.''

Onodera is letting it all out now-the held in anguish and pain- the heartache he went through. Supressed memories and emotions coming back in waves. '' The person I loved turned out to be a really bad person playing with me. It shocked me so much that I had to stay away from school because I couldn't do anything else but feel the pain. I left because I couldn't face you. How could I face you? You think it was easy for me? I couldn't tell anyone what happen. Not even to An chan. I was alone by myself. ''

The brunette let the tears fall, continuing._ ''_Because of what happened, I lost my confidence in love. All my later relationships never worked out because I lost my faith in think that was easy? ''

He tries to have a hold on his emotions. ''I did all those things because I loved you. I stalked you using a fake name because I wanted to get close to you without disturbing you. I went back for you when it rained after you called me disgusting because I understood that it was weird to have a stalker doing all those things. When you told me you loved me, I choose to believe in you because I believe that you were a good person. I choose to ignore my doubts and insecurities that you could return my feelings – all because I loved you. When all my belief and faith got shattered in an instant, you think that was easy? ''

With nothing left to say, Onodera walks away. Takano ask one question '' Why didn't you tell me about her before?''

The brunette turns and looks at him- the senior from ten years ago who he crossed paths again. His answer is simple. ''Because I loved you. The person I loved wasn't An chan. I didn't tell you about her because I had no reason to. I wasn't going to marry her. There wasn't anyone else but you then. ''

Onodera dries his tears. '' You're right Takano san. Having the person you love turn on you like that must had hurt a lot. I'm sorry.''

The brunette gives no excuses, just one last apology before he goes, leaving Takano standing at the root top.

* * *

**Hope you enjoy and please leave comments ! :)**


	11. Together for Christmas

It's the time of the year again.

The time when it's the only time you can sing Christmas carols, enjoy a cup of hot chocolate with some cookies, and maybe do some Christmas shopping.

Except that it's not

Bursting into the room, the last remaining standing member of the Maiden department, Onodera Ritsu, came running back with the manuscript. With limited time till the deadline looming over everyone, it was like the race against death. Taking a quick glance around, the brunette asserts how absolutely drained the whole crew is. Barking out commands like a drill sergeant, Takano orders everyone to finish any last minute job left.

'' What is Christmas? '' Onodera Ritsu questions.

When finally, the team finally finishes the Christmas edition specials, the editor trudges out to the cold world outside the office where he takes a seat on the bench, thinking when did Christmas became so _awful._

_This sucks_

Remembering why, it suddenly seemed a lot worst.

_Oh yea_

_Since I started working_

Entranced, the brunette watches the flakes of snow falls, drifting in the dark sky. When was the last time he enjoyed Christmas? What happen to the all hot chocolate and the cheerful Chrismatas spirit surrounding everybody? Now he's slogging his guts out through the day with the rest of the shoujo manga team. Listening to the jolly Christmas songs playing down the streets, the brunette calms down and observes his surroundings. He watches the people come and go, all heading off to a place they need to be. Then, it occurs to him that the street was filled with couples, holding hands.

_Must be nice to have someone_

He sighs. On the bench, he thinks about the dream he had. Slowly, it's all coming back to him- the forgotten memories. He dreamt about Christmas, he dreamt about celebrating a birthday. He dreamt about him. Dates are specific- hard to forget-but once you forget, you forget the numbers for good.

His pocket vibrated and Onodera checks the message.

_You can go home now- Takano san_

'_Of course I can go home',_ thought Onodera ,annoyed. _Where else can I go ? The north pole ?_ He stuffs his phone back into his pocket. Other than during work, they hadn't had a single exchange of word. Onodera doesn't have anything to say to him anyways. Suddenly, the editor jolts up, remembering something he left behind in the office.

Speedily, the brunette takes the lift up and heads for the darkened office. Approaching the place, he heard voices.

''Oh,'' said Takano, smoking with Yokozawa. '' You're still here ? ''

''I came back to get something, '' replied Onodera curtly, without giving them a single glance. '' Not because of you.''

After rummaging through his desk, he finds what he wants and takes the lift down. Near the office building, Onodera drops his card into the mailbox- his yearly tradition. Coming out, Yokozawa spots the brunette, and walks towards him.

''Do you know when's Masamune's birthday? ''

Surprisingly, the digit and month pops instantly to his head. ''24th December. Christmas Eve. Tomorrow. ''

''I'm surprised you could remember,'' grumbles Yokozawa , walking off.

_Me too_

* * *

''Um…,'' out of the corner of his eye, the manga editor looks at his boss, who was sitting next to him in the train. '' Are you stalking me or something? '' sums Onodera sceptically. _Why is he here ?_

''No.''

Nothing else was said.

''Takano san''

The editor in chief cracks a heavy eyelid open.

''Tomorrow's your birthday right ? ''

''Yeap.'' The raven glances at him. '' You remembered?''

'' Miraculously- yes, I remembered,'' Onodera answered. _What a miracle_ '' Happy birthday.''

The editor-in-chief stretches out his hand open, expecting his gift. ''Where's my present? '' he asked. Grimacing, the newbie editor slaps his own palm down, hard.

_That's your present_

''No present?'' said Takano in mock disappointment, fingers curling around Onodera's hand, holding it firmly. The brunette stares at him and shakes his head.

Takano yawns. ''A drive, 'he said, asking for his gift. '' Come on a drive with me tomorrow.''

Promptly, Onodera agreed.

Takano looked at him in surprise.

''Okay,'' repeated Onodera, fine with the request. His unblinking green eyes staring back at Takano as his boss held on to his hand.

_Knock knock knock_

''Uh Takano san,'' the brunette greets blearily as he opens the door. '' Do you have to wake me up so early?''

''You said 'okay'. ''

Groaning, Onodera runs a hand through his uncombed hair. ''10 minutes. I need 10 minutes. ''

''I'm surprised you agreed to come with me,'' said Takano, getting into his seat. Besides him, Ritsu pulls his seatbelt over and secures it.

''It's your birthday,'' Onodera answers, turning the radio on, switching channels. ''And you asked nicely. ''

After going through a bunch of awful and boring music, the brunette decides to turn the radio off and stares out the window instead.

''Happy birthday,'' he wishes again quietly, resting his head against the headrest. Eventually, Onodera drifts off.

At some point, Takano realized his neighbour has fallen asleep. He pulls the car over ‒stopping temporarily. Draping the coat over the sleeping brunette like a blanket, Takano leans back and gazes at Onodera for a long moment, lost in the world with the two of them in it.

* * *

Slowly, Onodera opens his eyes. He blinks and looks out the window, waking up to a snowing scene. Surprised, he puts on his jacket and rushes out the car. Trudging to his neighbor in the heavy snow, the brunette looks at the view Takano's watching with wide eyes.

_This is amazing_

Dreamily, he takes in the magnificent view of the city below. With sparkly bright lights against a snowy background, the whole town looked like a winter wonderland.

''Woa,'' said Onodera, engrossed in the landscape before his eyes. ''So pretty'' he sighs, grinning in content like a 5 year old, a twinkle as bright as the stars lighting up his eyes. Next to him, watching the brunette, Takano's own smile goes unnoticed.

''I'm sorry,'' said Takano.

''Eh ? '' said Ritsu, startled.

''I'm sorry,'' he said.'' For everything''

Onodera does nothing ‒just smiles at him, turning his attention back to the view. '' I'm so glad I came with you today.''

''I love you,'' before Onodera could react, Takano grabs him in for a kiss. Instinctively, the brunette pushes him off, stepping backwards.

''I loved you for the past ten years'' claimed Takano vehemently, looking into them.

''You can't. You can't be in love with me. What about Yokozawa san ? ''

''What about him? We're just good friends.''

''That's not the problem.''

Honestly, Takano explains his relationship with Yokozawa, including the days in uni.

Shaking his head, a solemn expression on his face, Onodera keeps the space between them and spoke gravelly. '' You're best friend is in love with you. You have to do something about it.''

''What about you? What are you going to do about your fiancé? ''

At the mention of the word, Onodera's mood turned sour. ''Please,'' the brunette half-plead. ''I don't want to fight with you today. It's your birthday.''

Takano moves forward, taking two steps. Onodera takes another backwards, caution in his green eyes.

"I'm not going to hurt you,"said Takano gently, like he was talking to a wounded bird.

"You can't say that," said Onodera, knowing full well about the truth. "Nobody can."

Shaken, the brunette twists away, unsure of what to do. He could feel the thumping of his heart against his chest. Suddenly, Onodera sneezes, breaking the tension between them. Grateful to avoid another argument, the brunette dragged himself back to the car. Reluctantly, he puts on his seatbelt and observes the view outside. The raven gets into the car too. Wiping his specs, Takano mentions something.

''That reminds me, when we were going out, I used to imagine how would we spend Christmas together. Thinking about exchanging presents, what size of cake we should get and things like that. Childish isn't it? ''

Onodera continues staring out the window, silent. Takano starts to think he didn't hear him.

''I know,'' said Onodera all of a sudden, reminded of his dream. He places his hand against the freezing window screen and removes it, leaving a ghostly imprint that fades slowly. Turning to Takano, he carries on, the sore pain of sorrow in his chest. '' I… I used to think about the same thing too‒wanting to celebrate Christmas together. I thought about getting gifts and eating cake with you. Too bad we didn't have a chance to make it happen.''

Hearing the words, knowing that they shared the same sentiment towards each other these years, Takano breaks into a soft smile. '' There's still places open. I'm sure we can get a cake somewhere.''

Onodera returns his smile in reply.

* * *

''How's the cake? '' asked Takano, eating with Ritsu outside a bakery.

''It's nice,'' said the brunette, digging into it. Minutes passed before he said something else. ''I'm really glad I came with you today.''

They smiled.

**Author notes: Sorry everyone for the late and bland update. My papers are over ! WooHoo ~ You know what that mean ?Means I get to write more now ~**

**Hope you liked this and leave any comments below !**


	12. There's no answer

Lying face down on the floor, completely knocked out, was the manga editor. Feeling the incessant vibration of his phone, the brunette blindly feels for it in his bag and picks up the call groggily.

''Hello… this is Onodera Ritsu speaking.''

''Ritsu !''

Upon hearing the sharp tone of his parent, the brunette's brain wakes up a bit more. He pushes himself up from the floor. ''Mom ? ''

''Ritsu''

''Why are you calling me for? ''

''To give you a chance''

''A chance? '' asked Onodera quizzically, eyebrow burrowing in confusion. In sitting position now, he yawns quietly.

''For you to redeem yourself from the time your drank yourself silly and need to stay at An chan's house. She's attending a friend's wedding at a hotel tonight. This is your chance to act as a gentleman and bring her home to demonstrate some manners.''

_Uh huh._

''Sorry Mom, I can't pick An chan up tonight, '' said the manga editor, with a legit reason in hand. Standing up, he goes over to the kitchen and pours himself a cup of water. '' I have to attend my company's New Year's Eve party. It's compulsory. '' For once, Onodera's pleased he had to attend something as boring and superficial as that. He scoffs, thinking about all the socializing he had to do.

The brunette heard his mom tsk over the phone. '' What's the hotel ? ''

''Four seasons hotel.''

''That's great!'' she said , overjoyed. '' There's where the wedding is held. You can send An chan back after all.''

''Nopesorry, .Bye''

Onodera sighs, and glances at the time on the clock. Realizing he's going to be late, the brunette hurries to get ready, swiftly ending the his door, Onodera sees his neighbour face to face, coming out of his apartment as well.

''How fantastic,'' he muttered under his breath as Takano does a double take at him. _Just what I need to start the day: a call from my mom, waking up late after sleeping on the floor and seeing my boss. _In a huff, Onodera stalks off, carrying his well-ironed suit.

''Is that how you greet your superior in the morning?''

''Good morning''

''I'll drive you, '' said Takano, ahead of Onodera due to his long legs covering a larger distance.

''No thanks,'' said the brunette, getting in to the lift.

''Hmm,'' the editor in chief goes in after him. '' Are you afraid that you still have feelings for me? ''

''Absolutely not,'' Onodera jams a finger on the button. '' Don't go off imaging things on your own.''

''Then you're taking my car.''

''No,'' answered the newbie. '' I just don't want to.''

* * *

''Ricchan,'' said Kisa. '' Are you looking forward to the the New Year's Eve party tonight?''

''Is it something I should be excited about? '' asked Onodera, despite already having an answer of his own.

''Of course it is! It's when you get to see everyone dressed up in suits and dresses and have an excuse to drink on the job! ''

''Sounds great, ''said the editor. _Don't forget all the work we have to do smiling all time and act friendly with people you don't know. _''Well, I suppose it is a good opportunity to meet all the authors and build relationship with them.''

''That's the sprit!'' said Mino encouragingly, smiling as always. Onodera rises from his seat and leaves the room as he receives a call, expecting it he leaves, Mino and Kisa speculate who it was that made the editor leave to pick up a call privately. Takano catches their words.

Alone, Onodera starts the conversation. '' Mom''

''Ritsu, you-''

''_Mom,_'' said the editor, exasperated. '' Are you really going to be like this? I told you, I can't pick An chan up tonight.'' He let a second pass. '' And I told you a lot of times too, I'm not going to marry her. ''

''Ritsu,'' starts his mom. Impatiently, the brunette closes his eyes, letting out a long exhale. '' Where else are you going to find a women as good as An chan ? You two grew up together and she's nice, and fine with the engagement. What are you unhappy about? ''

''I can't marry her,'' he said firmly.

''Then do you have someone you love?''

'' I'm at work now,'' said Onodera irritably, as if it was something inappropriate to talk about. Hoping to end the conversation, he refused to answer.

''Well whatever your reason is, you can tell her yourself tonight when you pick her up. Don't argue with me. I already told her you're coming. That's it.''

''Mu-'' She hangs up.

''Onodera ! '' shouted Takano, coming over. '' This is working hours, get back to work. And while phone calls are allowed ‒ keep it at a minimum. You can chat with your cute little fiancé after work.''

''That was my mom, '' said Onodera, sliding his phone back. '' And don't worry, I won't be picking up any more personal calls.''

* * *

_Where are they ?_ Wondered the editor nervously, pacing back and forth. They team was supposed to be here by now. In the meantime, while he waits, he makes small chat with whomever around him. Going around, the photographer hired takes photos of everyone, both candid and posed.

''It's a nice party isn't it?'' said the photographer, stopping beside Onodera to go through the pictures taken. Leaning over, the young man looks at the pictures and said '' you can say so''.

''Look, there they are! ''

''They look just as dashing as last year! '' Excited chatter rose from the crowd as the female attendants turned their attention to the boys of Maiden department, who were strolling in, looking fine and sharp in their suits.

_Talk about being fashionably late_

Watching each of them gave a dazzling smile to the crowd around them, Onodera unconsciously raises his eyebrows, fighting to stop his eyes from rolling out of their sockets. He swore he heard some squeals from the ladies in front of him. Snapping away, the photographer takes pictures of the emerald boys making their grand entrance.

_And a dramatic entrance._

As Takano calls Onodera over, the brunette tidies himself and runs a hand through his brown locks, ready to mingle.

''Looks like Ricchan's doing well,'' said Kisa as he watches with Mino. Almost 2 hours have passed and they happened to pass by each other. Somewhere in the ballroom, people were gathering around Onodera as he interacts with them. Charmingly, the brunette work his way around, smiling at everyone and sharing jokes with them.

''Onodera kun, I didn't know you were so funny! '

''Oh,'' said Onodera, giving his attention to one the ladies. '' I didn't know you had such as good sense of humour too.''

A deep voice interrupted them. '' Sorry ladies,'' said Takano graciously. ''I need to bring our newbie around now. ''

Before the brunette leaves, someone passed him glass of beer. '' Onodera kun, you haven't had a drink with us yet.'' Onodera reaches for the beverage, gladly accepting any drink after talking so much. However, before he could take a sip, Takano took the drink from him.

''He can't drink,'' said Takano, smiling. Giving a tight smile, Onodera shrugs.

''Boss says no.''

Finally, the brunette took a short break‒ grabbing a drink after talking to a few more mangakas. Alone, away from the need to make a good impression, he relaxes. Guzzling his drink, Onodera pours himself another as he spots the photographer again in another part of the room. As the editor rests, he briefly wonders how much the guy actually likes his job- going around taking pictures. Gulping, the brunette asked himself the same question- how much does he actually like his job?

While the brunette takes moment to rest, the photography moves on to another crowd. He turns and sees the friendly brunette at the table. Onodera see him too and waves, giving a smile. Instead of waving back, the photographer raises his camera and clicks, moving on again.

''Have a pleasant trip back home,'' Onodera smiles at the guest leaving in the lobby, still at the party. After the guest left, the brunette massages his jaw with both of hands, dropping his affable façade.

_I smiled so much that my jaws hurt._

He couldn't wait to get back home. Taking the chance to check his phone, he scrolls through the endless missed calls‒all from An chan.

_Oh No_

''Ricchan '' called a female voice. An chan gets up from her seat, having waited in the corner.

''An chan,'' said Onodera, feeling immensely apologetic for forgetting about her. He had made her wait for god knows how long. '' I'm sorry An chan. I didn't mean to make you wait. But I really couldn't get away-'' the brunette speeds up his words'' and I already my mom that I couldn't pick you up but she still insisted and … and … I'm sorry.''

Silently, An chan glances at the marble floor of the lobby, holding back her words. '' Ricchan… I have something I want to talk to you about.'' Despite knowing he had to go back to work, Onodera ‒being confronted with how inevitable this conversation was‒stayed.

''Ricchan,'' starts the petite brunette quietly. '' I just attended a friend's wedding today,''

The editor could feel his stomach flip at what was coming.

''It was a lovely wedding. My friend look happy and the groom looked happy. The guest who attended the wedding were happy. ''

''An chan'' said Onodera, not knowing what else to say.

''She was really pretty today Ricchan, I've never seen her look so happy. When they spoke their vows, you could tell they were thinking of each other. And when she throw her bouquet, you could tell how happy she was. Whenever I think of doing something like that Ricchan,'' she looks up at him with gleaming brown eyes,'' I think of doing it with you.''

''Ricchan,'' said An chan, letting out what she wanted to say all the while waiting for an answer. ''I love you.'' Unbeknownst to them, someone else heard that line. 'I know your answer from last time was no. But-'' the petite brunette looks at the other, '' I was hoping this time, I would get a different answer. ''

Looking into the gentle bright eyes of his best friend, knowing she was looking at him with hope, Onodera felt even worse. Pursing his lips, the editor gives her his answer. '' I'm sorry An chan but I can't marry you.''

The hope was replaced by disappointment and hurt.

''Why not Ricchan? ''

''I can't marry you,'' he states firmly, shaking his head. '' I can't watch you have a loveless marriage.''

An chan looked like she was slapped. '' It's not completely loveless,'' she said with a look of defiance, sure that at least one party felt that way. ''Atleast,not for me.''

''An chan, I'm sorry,'' said Onodera apologetically. '' But I don't love you that way. You need to marry someone who loves you.'' He shifts his feet. '' I can't be that someone.''

''Is it because of that person? '' questioned An chan, turning upset. '' The one you loved back in middle school? ''

''What does that has to do with anything? ''

''You… weren't quite the same after that,'' said An chan. '' None of your relationships lasted. I had hoped it was because of me but…''

''This isn't about him,'' said Onodera, swapping away a memory of a brooding senior with jet-black hair, alone in a corner, engrossed in his novel. ''This isn't about him at all,'' insisted the brunette, eyes turning moist at thought of him.

''Him ? ''said An chan incredulously, with shocked anger. Onodera averts his gaze. ''Him ?'' she repeats, louder this time. Nodding her head away with disbelief, the petite brunette explodes. '' This is all about him!'' she shouts.

''It's not about him,'' said Onodera quietly.

With tears yet to fall lining her eyes, An chan asked '' Are you still in love with him? ''

At the moment, when the question was left in the air to be answered, a certain editor in chief with amber eyes felt his heart jumped. This was the question that would decide everything. The two of them waited, wanting to hear the answer from the green-eyed brunette.

''I-I don't know,'' he said finally. Swallowing, Onodera presses a hand onto his forehead. '' I wish I could tell you An chan. I really wish I could give you an answer. But I-I really don't.'' He drops his hand '' I don't want to hurt you.''

''Isn't it abit too late for that? ''Said An chan pithily.''Ricchan,''she said, trying to keep herself composed. ''Can't we at least try? '' She peers at the young man with pleading eyes. '' I know you're not in love with me but can't we at least try? Can't you give us just one chance to try to see if we work? ''

Suddenly, they heard Onodera's name being called.

''Onodera! What are you doing ? You still have work to do.'' As Takano went over to them, An chan realize that Onodera still had work left and was unable to give her a response. Upset with the sudden disturbance and everything else, she ran off.

''How much did you hear? '' asked Onodera, knowing it was impossible for him not to.

''Almost everything,'' said Takano.

**Part 2 coming soon since this was too long**


	13. There's no answer part 2

''Don't eavesdrop on other people's conversation.'' Onodera told Takano, following him to his car. ''It's rude.''

''You two were so loud, '' said Takano, getting his keys out. '' Anyone could have heard you.'' Too tired to comment on his excuse, the editor opens the car door.

Sensing his boss's curiosity, Onodera explains. '' There's no train at this time. And I don't want to wait for a taxi.'' Wordlessly, Onodera get in and stares out the window, utterly exhausted. They rode in silence. His phone vibrated. Wearily, he answers it.

''Ricchan ! What did you say to An chan ? '' demanded his mom fiercely over the phone. Onodera shut his eyes.

''I told her the truth.''

''The truth ? Ritsu, An chan was crying her eyes when I talked to her on the phone.''

''I'm sorry, Mom'' said Onodera, worn out. '' I didn't mean to make her cry.''

''Ritsu, I gave you a chance to correct your mistake, not make it worse! You better apologise to An chan about this,'' she said, ending the call.

Tossing his phone against the car in frustration, Onodera presses his palm against his head, exhaling deeply. Turning back to the window, he stares out of it again. At a loss, the editor runs his fingers on his scalp.

_How did things become such a mess?_

''Takano san,'' said Onodera after a while.

''What ?''

''Are you waiting for an answer from me too? '' asked the brunette, who quickly answered his own inquiry. '' Of course you are, what am I saying? Everyone is waiting to get a reply from me.''

''Well, things would be easier if you're not always running away all the time,'' said Takano. '' How was the party? ''

''I never want to attended it again,'' answered Onodera gravelly and honestly. He soothes his hair as what happen with An chan goes through his mind again. ''I think,'' starts Onodera , his sentence soft, breaking the silence. '' I think I'm a terrible person…. I broke An chan's heart when I couldn't return her feelings. I broke my parents' heart for not following their wishes. Ten years ago, I broke yours when I ran away.'' Takano glances over. ''I wish I can give you an answer. I wish I can give you all an answer. ''The newbie sighs again. ''Stop the car.''

Takano gives him a quizzical look.

''It's fine,'' said Onodera, getting out. '' I can walk back from here.''

''Onodera,'' called Takano, getting out as well. ''Get back in the car. I'll drive you back.''

''It's fine Takano san,'' said the newbie. '' I'm an adult. I can handle myself. I just want to be alone.''

akano walked over to Ritsu's side and grabbed his wrist. '' Get back into the car. '' Onodera lets the arm drop to his side, too tired to fight.

''Are you in love with me or not? '' asked Takano.

''Like I said, I don't know.'' Giving the truth, the brunette shakes the hand off. ''Don't worry,'' said Onodera. '' Running away isn't an option this time. ''

As the editor watches the car pulls away, the mystifying question pops up in his head again.

_Are you still in love with him?_

* * *

Past his bangs, Onodera peeks at Takano. The raven was at his desk, going through manuscripts.

''Why? '' asked Takano, sensing his stare. '' Do you have something to ask? ''

''No,'' said Onodera, lowering his eyes back to his own manuscript. Two weeks have past and Onodera still hasn't move beyond where he started during the new's year‒ he still hasn't had a clue what to do.

_Are you still in love with him? _The question resonates loudly in his ears, amplified his conflicted silence.

_Am I still in love with him? _Wondered Onodera countlessly. _No_ He shakes his head. He couldn't be still in love with him. There's just no way, right? But then, how do you explain how flustered he is whenever he's around him. How do you explain, the tsunami of emotions that crashes onto him whenever a memory of a certain raven senior rises again? How do you explain, the wrench of pain in his heart when he thinks of him?

''Onodera! '' Takano smacks the newbie on the head. '' Don't daydream! ''

''Yes,'' said Onodera, rubbing his head. He shouldn't be thinking about this at work, getting distracted. And there's the matter of answering An chan, who still hadn't heard from him at all.

_Can't we at least try?_

The editor exhales deeply, a look of conflict on his face.

''Ricchan,'' said Kisa,on the phone with mangaka, '' could you help me get a file?''

''Sure,'' said Onodera as his co-worker scribbled the file name down. The brunette took the note and went to the back of the room, where the shelves with the files were at. Scanning the files, he searches for the right one and spots in at the upper top. Reaching for it, Onodera realized he's not close enough. He tries tipping on his toes, barely touching the file. Again, he tries to reach for it by jumping this time. While he struggled to reach it ‒out of nowhere‒a hand stretches and takes the file.

Onodera turns to say thanks. However, when he sees Takano standing beside him, his words dies off instantly. Wordlessly, Takano hands Onodera the file. Cool amber eyes, framed by a pair of black rimmed spec, covered slightly by a fringe of black hair ‒ met big green ones for a second ‒before turning away. As Takano goes back to his seat, Onodera remains rooted in his spot, stunned, the slightest hint of red spreading across his face.

''Onodera,'' snapped Takano, catching his subordinate standing there like a statue. '' What are you doing standing there for?''

''Nothing,'' mumbled Onodera, a faraway look in his moist eyes, being reminded of something that happened a long time ago.

* * *

''Ring, ring ring! ''

''Hello '' said An chan into the receiver, picking up the call coming from her house phone.

''An chan''

''Ricchan? ''

''We need to talk,'' says the male, '' I can't give you an answer yet but we need to talk.''

Arriving at the place where they're meeting, An chan sees Onodera seating on a bench, an air of restlessness around him.

''What's this about Ricchan? '' said the petite brunette with her scarf a bit more carelessly thrown than usual, wondering what was so important that they had to meet during Ritsu's lunch break.

Onodera stands up. '' I'm sorry'' he said, his breathe forming a whit fog. ''I'm sorry for making you come all the way here just for me. ''

Holding his arm, An chan seats down on the bench and pulls him to do the same. '' Ricchan, '' Concern and mild confusion washed over the fiancé. ''What do you want to talk about?''

''I'm sorry An chan that I couldn't ‒ and still can't ‒ give you an answer. As to whether I'm still in love with him, at first I thought no, that there was no way I was still in love with him. I couldn't even remember how he looked like. But now, after seeing him again, all these feelings are coming back and I'm not too sure anymore. And if I'm not sure about how I feel how can I give you a chance? That wouldn't be fair. ''Honestly, An chan was still a bit mad at him, but still, he was her best friend and the person she love, so she could understand. ''It's funny isn't it‒ not knowing how I feel. It's like saying I don't know what I don't know.''

''Is he someone I know? '' asked An chan, not knowing a better way to approach the question.

''He was my senior back before I left for England. Now, he's my boss. ''

''Oh,'' said An chan. '' Oh wow. What a coincidence.''

Onodera frowns. _He was why I left the first place_

''Ricchan, I know this is confusing for you. But, you need to figure out what you want and whether you want to pursue that relationship,'' said An chan. '' I'm still a bit mad at you for hiding something like that from me for so long.'' She puts her hand on his shoulder. ''I know this isn't easy Ricchan, but you need to decide for yourself what you want. Other people can't decide what you want for you. '' said An chan, rising up. '' You have to decide what you want yourself.''

Onodera looked at the ground and pondered to himself.

''Tell me when you're ready Ricchan.''

* * *

**Part 2 is here you guys. And have you seen the new SIH manga chapter yet ? It's finally out ~ *dances around***

**Some changes I made to the story are changing the genre from General to Angst and Hurt/Comfort since I thought it would be better. I might change it again, depending on the story. Also, I've made An an offical character now - she's has too much of a role now not to.**

**In the story description, I added AU to it (should have done this long ago).**

**Enjoy !**


	14. Hiatus

Dear peeps

I am going on a hiatus for a month and hence would like to let you know that there won't be any more updates for the following weeks.

That's it.

Peaceout

Flyawayfreedom


	15. Second chance at love

Warming the freezing winter air surrounding him, Onodera exhales deeply. The gloomy night was twinkling with a few lonely stars up in the sky.

''Onodera,'' Takano Masamune arrives, wearing his coat. ''What the heck did you called me out for? '' asked the raven, his features turning into a scowl as the heat from his bodies escapes to the cold surrounding him.

''Come sit down,'' said Onodera, gesturing towards the space beside him.

'' You said you had something you want to talk about,'' said Takano. '' What is so important that I had to come out to the freezing cold for? '' Couldn't they had just talk back at home ? Where he could try and convince Onodera to stay the night , or if not - hemming him in and trapping him sounds like a good alternative.

''Love''

''Huh? '' said Takano, baffled. What the shit was Onodera going on about?

Onodera turns towards Takano, his red scarf fluttering in the passing wind. ''Takano san, I'm going back to my first love.''

_What ? _

Disbelief enveloped Takano as a wave of emotions shocked him.

'I'm going back to literature,'' explains the brunette, a second after Takano thinks he might just die from happiness. '' I've thought about this for a while now and you've ask me before; I think it's best for me to go make to editing books instead of shoujo manga. It's where I belong.''

_Oh_

The raven deflates, feeling disappointed. Of course‒ what was he expecting? There was no way Ritsu would go back to him like that. He wasn't referring to him at all; Ritsu was just talking about their common interest.

Takano knits his brows together. Something feels awfully wrong. '' That's what you want to talk about? '' The brunette nods his head. A look of maturity, or decisiveness ‒ or was it more like resignment ? the raven's not sure‒ appeared on the brunette's face, making it look like Onodera's not going to change his mind about it. Takano sighs. ''What made you changed your mind about going back to lit? ''

''I've just wanted to go back to what I love,'' said Onodera, turning his brilliant green eyes at him, giving out pure vibes of innocence. Before the boy with shimmering bright eyes, and cheerful smile fell in love with a certain dark haired boy, reading was his first love‒ what he loves more than anything else.

''I suppose there's nothing I can do if you want to transfer,'' said Takano, sensing Onodera's resolution. Even though Takano's not too happy about it, there truly is nothing he can do if Onodera wants out. '' I'll approve your transfer when work starts. ''

''That was easy, I thought I was going to have a hard time trying to convince you.'' Onodera blinks, turning his eyes back to what's in front of him. '' There's something else I want to talk about.''

''What is it? '' asked Takano irritably. He was starting to feel the bitter cold biting in.

'' How long have we known each other? ''

''If you count the years that you stalked me, 13. If you don't count the years after high school, 3. ''

_And if you count the years I've really known you, that's none at all,_ thought Onodera.

''So, you've know about me the entire long? '' asked the editor, talking about his stalking.

'' Almost all along, '' said Takano, gazing sideways at him. '' I noticed a lower class man watching me while hiding behind the book shelves. And pretty soon I notice the name 'Oda Ritsu' always written underneath mine on all the books I borrowed so I know it was you.'' The editor in chief folds his arms. ''And then one day you just randomly confessed to me.''

Silently, Onodera lowering his lashes. '' I didn't mean to confess,'' he said quietly, an unreadable expression on his face. '' Really, I didn't. I just wanted to watch you from a far and read all the books you read. I was happy with that. All I wanted was to stay by the side and watch until you graduated. Really, I hadn't meant to confess.''

''Onodera,'' said Takano, looking at him now.

Onodera gives a rueful smile. '' I know it's strange. I really do. Even I thought something was wrong with me after that. '' The brunette looks into the raven's eyes‒ the colour of oolong tea, and his heart slams against his chest, pounding against the cages. ''How much can you know about someone just by meeting them once? '' asked Onodera with the same dreamy look he had when Takano passed the file to him‒ when Ritsu first lay eyes on the full face of the person he fell in love with when the book he wanted was handed over . A moment happens, but before Takano could do anything, Onodera blinks and it's gone.

Intensely, Takano wanted to ask why Ritsu was talking about this. But moments like this between them don't come often, and Takano doesn't want it to , he realizes - Onodera was talking about them.

Us

''Look at that,'' said Onodera, to no one in particular. Shifting his attention to a passing couple, Onodera looks at them with envy. '' This,'' he said, so quietly that you would have to strain to hear him, '' is the first time in a long while since I felt hopeful about love.'' He puts his hands in his pocket, the breeze brushing against the flaps of his coat. ''Before, all I felt was pain when I think about it. Now, I think.. maybe it could be different.''

This was coming from the boy who fell hopelessly in love within seconds, and got his heart‒ and faith‒crushed to bits later on in his life at fifteen. Afterwards, the brunette firmly believed that love was for people who didn't know better and would do so in due time. For ten years, Onodera's been nursing this wound. For ten years, he didn't believe in love. And for the first time in ten years, Takano Masaume felt a spark of lost hope reviving.

''I think… maybe it's time I give it a second chance '' said Onodera, a distant look in his eyes, perhaps filling with hope as well.

This is it. This is what Takano has been waiting, and wanting for. For ten years, he lost him. Now he gets his second chance.

''Takano san, I thought about this seriously and I hope you can accept this, '' said Onodera.

This is it. This is his second chance. This is the chance he was been waiting for to make things right.

''Of course I can''

Onodera pauses, before delivering his sentence. '' I've decided to date An chan''

* * *

**Guys, please don't abandon this fic yet, this is where the REAL story starts.**


	16. The day 'I love you' touched my heart

_What ?_

The words resonate loudly in his head as Takano blinks rapidly in disbelief. Onodera takes note for the first time how profound confusion looks like on his soon to be former boss's face, the most revealing expression he's seen from him so far.

_I've decided to date An chan now._

''Say that again, '' demanded Takano, not believing his ears, heart beating loudly in rebellion among the confusion.

The brunette did so, a bit unwillingly, knowing what a blow it must be for Takano to hear that yes‒ he would be dating his fiancée now.

''I know this is sudden but I've thought about it‒''

''Stop,'' said the raven, shutting his eyes. Confused anger came rushing in. '' Just stop talking.'' Immense disappointment floods him, followed by a shattering mix of pain and heartbreak, something he's given himself every now and then when the thought of Ritsu popped up during the last ten years, but hearing this announcement, it comes at charging full force. '' How… … Don't do this to me, Onodera'' said Takano weakly, voice dropping down to an anguished whisper. Questioning Onodera, Takano looks at him with betrayal in his eyes.

''It's for the best,'' said Onodera, looking sorry, like he really believes what he's saying . '' An chan and I, we've known each other for a long time. You and I…'' Onodera drifts off, shaking his head sadly. '' We… we'll never work.'' The brunette blinks away the tears that were coming. '' Let's do this right Takano san, '' said the editor. The fact is‒ it never ended properly between them, leaving an unresolved mess for the both of them.

_It's time we do it right._

''We… end here, Takano san'' said Onodera tearfully, facing the man opposite him. It was time to end from what started ten years ago till now. They had to end.

''I'll wait for you,'' declared Takano vehemently.

Onodera shakes his head slightly, the sad look on his face again. '' Don't waste your time.'' He looks into those eyes. '' You're no good for me.''

''I'll wait for you,'' insisted Takano, his chest aching with so much pain it felt like he might collapse on the spot then. ''I love you.''

''Let's do it right Takano san,'' said Onodera robotically as he repeats his words, marking the end. '' We end here.'' Without a backward glance, the brunette walks off. Under the night sky, the editor in chief stands alone.

After walking till where he thinks is a safe distance, Onodera stops and sinks down to a crouch. Looking like a lost child, the brunette folds his arms protectively around himself.

_I get absolutely terrified whenever you say that_

* * *

The words were out before he knew it. He had no idea why, of all things, he said that. Why he didn't just grab Ritsu and shake him so hard that he'll finally get it - or punch some senses into him, literally- to make him realized that fiancé or not, Takano would never be able to let go of him.

_I love you_

That was the truth.

_I'll wait for you_

Another truth

He will.

Parking his car by the side, the editor in chief carries his cigarette with him, heading to view the scenery. Lighting up a cigarette for a smoke to calm his nerves, he thinks back to the days when it was a decade ago.

* * *

Third year student Saga Masamune strolled in leisurely through the doors of his high school library. The student had always spend all of his free time available here after school, because going back home to hear another round of shouting match from his parents while they ignore his existence isn't an option. But now, he has another reason to be here.

'' Saga Senpai ! '' came a happy greeting. A real, solid reason.

By the shelves, Oda Ritsu came forward, greeting his most favourite person with a bright big smile, turning into different shades of red. Affectionately, Saga places his hand in Oda's hair and ruffles it, experiencing a burst of warmth surging through him.

''Senpai, you're early today,'' stated Oda, turning redder as he wondered whether he should fix his hair or not. Will it give senpai the wrong idea that he doesn't like to be touch ? especially by him ? But then, if he doesn't, won't he look weird the whole day? Maybe he should fix it or maybe it will just…

As Saga reads all the emotions displayed so clearly on Oda's face, he thinks to himself, if he had to sum the little brunette up entirely in one word, it would be ‒ adorable.

So fucking adorable.

Saga would probably not have known, and Oda would probably not have noticed‒that on Saga's fair cheeks‒ was the slightest hint of red spreading. Grabbing a random book off the shelves, the older student heads for his spot at the table, with Oda trailing behind him. After an hour or so of silent reading, the senior broke the silence.

''Hey,'' said Saga, eyes still on the words of the book. Looking up with the wide green eyes of his, Oda blushed.

''Senpai ? ''

''Are you here to read or look at me? '' half teased the senior, in his usual passive voice. He could feel those green eyes flickering on him all the time while they were reading.

Blushing profusely, the brunette started apologizing. ''S-sorry ! I didn't mean to stare ! I-I was really planning to read until… So s-sorry senpai ! ''

''Do you,'' started Saga, looking across at Oda opposite him, feeling desire swirling up, '' want to come over tonight? ''

While he could get used to the increasing frequent visit to his house, Saga doubts he would ever get used to seeing Ritsu like _this._

''Senpai.._Oh senpai_… Ah ! '' Quick breaths and urgent moans escape from Oda's lips as his senpai thrust himself further into him. Panting heavily, Saga climbed over him, sending kisses all over the brunette's warm body as he thrust harder.

'_'__Ah… senpai_ '' Oda moans, filled with mind-blowing pleasure. As the heat from the brunette's body radiates off to him, Saga puts his hands on the younger boy's body and proceeds to feel him up.

''Ritsu,'' called Saga. Soft brown hair and moist lips, with slender frame and smooth skin.

''_Ah! Senpai… Ah… Ah!_''

''Ritsu,'' said Saga, '' I love you.''

''I love you too, Senpai.''

Exhausted and glistening with sweat, the two lovers share one cover on a single bed.

''Senpai,'' called Ritsu softly, during his sleep. Awake and watching the brunette, Saga pulled the covers higher over his junior and gently puts his hand on the back of the brunette's head, bringing it forward. ''Senpai,'' called Ritsu again as Saga place a kiss on the brunette's forehead, snuggling closer.

''I love you, Ritsu.''

''...Senpai...''

* * *

On a different day, in the midst of their youth. Something happened.

Buttoning the clothes of the uniform , Oda looks up shyly from the bed. Saga senpai was still fixing up his clothes, oblivious‒ or used‒ to the nervousness of his junior.

''Senpai, '' said Oda, still feeling embarrassed after doing it, but happy. This question has been on his mind a while. It's a silly question, thinks the brunette. Not that he doesn't trust senpai; he does, with all of his heart‒ just as much as he loves him. Still, he would like to be sure.

Like all the times before, Ritsu looks up at his senior with bright naive eyes, hesitating just a bit. '' Senpai… we're dating now, right?''

Hearing the question, Saga Masamune bought his right hand up, covering his mouth as an amused chuckle escapes through.

Like all the times before, Oda Ritsu hastily picks up his things and leave. Like all the times before, Saga gave a curt ''bye'' and ''see you soon''. But unlike all the times before, Saga Masaume had missed out the most crucial thing of all.

* * *

Strolling through the doors, Saga walked in lazily, half expecting Ritsu to already be in the library. It was Monday and the brunette was early on Mondays. Experiencing the absence of an eager greeting of ''senpai ! '', the raven looks around for the clock, checking the time. 3.09pm.

_He should be here by now_ thinks the senior as he looks around the library, thinking that Ritsu might have been behind the shelves, too engrossed in a book to notice his arrival.

_He's not here yet_

Waiting for the brunette, the third year student went and browse through the tittles at the shelves. Deciding on a tittle, the student went and took his usual seat by the window.

_I'll just read till he gets here. _

Absorbed in the novel, Saga didn't notice the time passed until the shadows had fallen over him and the room had dimmed in the approaching evening. He checked the time. 6. an hour till closing and Oda Ritsu still had not arrived.

_Maybe he's sick__**, **_thought Saga, feeling disappointed he didn't get to see Ritsu today. Perhaps he's too rough at it and gotten Ritsu tired from the lack of rest. Making sure that he'll ask the brunette about it tomorrow, Saga continued reading until it was time to leave the library.

The next day, Saga repeated the routine and waited. Still, Oda did not showed up. So the next day, and the day after, the third year student got as early as possible and waited. Over the course of several weeks, Saga had grown accustomed to watching the door of a library like a hawk, waiting for the brunette to arrive through the doors.

_Where is that brat_ wondered Saga irritably, filled with worry and anxiety. The news books he returned no longer had ' Oda Ritsu' , prove of his junior's existence, written beneath his own anymore. Only the lone ticking of the old clock accompanied him in the library. Maybe something had happened to Ritsu. A coma or something. A giggling school girl had entered and Saga turned too rapidly, hoping it to be someone else. Upon realizing that it was not Ritsu , the raven felt another stab of bitter disappointment hitting him. Thinking that an upper class man was paying attention to her, the school girl blushed as she looked at Saga. Rolling his eyes in annoyance, the raven gave her a pointed look before turning back, and continued to wait.

As the sun descended slowly down and the lights dimmed the room, shadows casted themselves while little by little, students left the library, heading home. In his seat, enclosed by darkness of the shadows, Saga did nothing but wait‒ and wait‒ for the person he loved to appear.

By the end of the week, Saga Masamune had come to understood ‒ Oda Ritsu would never be coming into the library ever again.

* * *

_Fiancé_

''Fiancé?'' The raven repeated, his tone betraying the indifferent expression he had initially, which quickly give way to a look of stunned shock. More than a year has past since and a lot of changes happened, but one thing remained- the raven was still searching for him.

''Yeah,'' confirmed the student. '' The kid I know is super rich‒ studying overseas; his family run some business or something. He has a fiancé, that's for sure. Uh hey, are you okay? '' Seeing the raven looked shock and shaken, the prep student asked for his concern.

''I'm fine,'' said the first year college student, truthfully feeling anything but fine. But the college freshman already grown used to pretending he was fine for a large part of his life. Takano Masamune, formerly known as Saga, avoided the gaze and looked at everywhere but at the prep student directly as the truth dawned upon him. The teacher was saying something, but the words were jumbled up in a distant blur to the raven.

''Sorry I can't help you much,'' said the student, taking his leave, patting Takano on the shoulder.

_''__There's no Oda Ritsu here,'' the class leader said. Saga was standing outside the classroom Year 1 Class 4, which was the class written by Oda every time he borrowed a book. _

_''__Are you sure? '' asked Saga, who couldn't believe what he was told. How is this possible ?_

_The junior gave him an impatient look. '' Yes,'' the student stated clearly. '' We don't have an Oda Ritsu here.''_

_''I see.'' The raven thanked the junior and left. Fine, if he's not in this class. Then surely, he's in the others. Taking out one of the library cards he had taken from one of the endless books he read, the third year student stared hard at the words, trying to read into them, to see whether the clues were hiding within the form of black lines._

_1-4 Oda Ritsu_

_Saga wasn't going to give up searching._

_Oda Ritsu ? Not in this class. _

_Nope, I've never heard of this student in our class. Maybe he's in the other classes._

_Sorry, no one here is called that. _

_I've never taught this student before, said the math teacher. The senior had even track down the math teacher of that class._

_What is happening ? thought Saga. His whole world was spinning out of axis now. All his leads have come to a dead end._

_''__Excuse me,'' said Saga. The senior was at the administration office of his high school, using an excuse. '' A junior of mine hasn't been showing up to school, and I need to get some notes back from him. Is it possible to get his contact details?''_

_''__I'm sorry,'' said the staff, explaining the school policy sternly. '' We can't disclose any personal information of the students to any unauthorised personnel. It's against the school policy.'' Saga felt the emotions coming in like a wave, crushing him with vexed disappointment and frustration._

_''__I need to find him,'' he insisted stubbornly, tired and anger from the fruitless search._

_''__I'm sorry,'' apologised the staff. ''But I can't give you any more information.''_

_Screw this, thought the senior as he storms out the office. Approaching the school gates, Saga stops and looks back towards the windows of the library._

_Oda Ritsu, he wondered in desperation._

_Where are you ?_

After months of a wild goose chase, searching for a ghost who had disappeared from his life, it had all come down to this.

* * *

Takano crushed the cigarette, dirtying the pavement. That was the beginning of his emotional downward spiral and personal hell. Without Yokazawa sticking with him through all the crap, Takano wouldn't know which hellhole he would be in now. The sales manager had insisted that it was pointless waiting and searching for one person who kicked him to the curb all those years ago. The raven heads back for his car. It was then, when he realized that Ritsu had so slyly asked for his transfer to another department first, before breaking the news to him.

Meeting Ritsu again after all these years was supposed to be a second chance._His_ second chance. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case anymore.

For the second time in his life, Takano Masamune's worst nightmare had become his new reality.

**Author's notes: Incase you haven't notice, this is Takano's chapter. **

**Update: I forgot to put the breaks ! And no**


	17. Let me surprise,surprise you !

'' Hello...'' A very sleepy An Kohinata sat up on her bed, picking up her phone. In the middle of the night, her phone had been vibrating non-stop.

''An chan.''

''Ricchan? '' The petite lady pulls the light on her nightstand on. '' Why are calling me at this time? Did something happened? ''

''I'm at your house now.'' True enough, Onodera was standing outside the gates of her house, talking into his phone. ''I know it's late but,'' he draws in a breath, preparing to tell her something '' I finally have an answer to give you now.''

Wearing her coat, An rushed to the gates, using the flashlight app on her smartphone. On the other side, seeing how little dressed she was, Onodera pass her his scarf.

''You could have stayed at home An chan, '' said Onodera, feeling bad his shivering friend was in the open cold. ''I could have told you over the phone.''

''It's okay Ricchan,'' said An, cheeks red from rushing over in the cold. Face to face with her best friend of more than a decade and ‒ reluctant fiancé, this was the answer that she wanted to hear personally‒ that she had to hear personally. Not admitting to himself, the real reason why Onodera had called in the middle of the night was because if he didn't immediately go straight after talking to Takano, he might never leave the spot.

''I already told Takano about this,'' said Onodera. _What did that mean? _wondered An. Was he the one Ritsu choose? Bracing herself for the bad news, the brunette pursed her lips, taking deep breaths. Anxiously, she gripped her phone tightly. Even though she didn't want to get her hopes up, she couldn't help having that exact feeling. Onodera goes on, '' I thought hard about this. Really, I did. And, my answer, An chan … my answer is-'' An's eyes adjusted to the darkness, focusing on Ritsu's green ones. She could hear the resolution in his voice, the firmness that this is what he is going to go with; but she could also hear the gentleness in his tone, the words perching on delicate softness. ''I want to try giving us a chance'' finished Onodera, delivering his answer.

''Ricchan,'' Honestly surprised, An was nonplussed.

''We've known each other or so long,'' said Onodera, '' and you're right, we could at least try.'' He paused. ''And it will probably make my parents happy. We're just try.''

An looked like she was going to burst into tears any second. ''Ricchan''. Taking note of her expression, Onodera asked whether she's okay. '' Ricchan!'' An exclaimed, a wide smile spreading across her doll-like features. She was jumping with joy. ''Are you serious? '' Onodera nods. Squeezing her hands through the small available space between the bars, An put her arms around the young man, hugging him closely. Ritsu gives a small smile, a smile tinged with belief and attempt. Seeing the smile on Ricchan's face, An was even happier. ''I'm so glad Ricchan,'' she said, bursting with happiness, beaming.

This was the best news ever.

* * *

Behind the steering wheel, Takano swore. His cigarettes had dropped from the box and were all tumbling down under his seat. After finally getting them back, the editor in chief drags himself back to his apartment, beyond exhausted. Dropping on his bed, Takano closes his eyes, and then open them again. It wasn't even half way through the cycle and he felt ten times as worn as during the end of it.

Removing his specs, the editor in chief lay on his bed, motionless with numbing pain that was taking over his mind and body. Despite whether he likes it or not, he still had work tomorrow and there's no excuse for doing a half assed job just because he had his heart and hope thrown out the window. Taking one last look at the wall behind his bed, Takano closed his eyes. An image of Ritsu flashed in his head.

_Why, are you always on my mind?_

Takafumi definitely would not like it if he saw him like this.

Another debilitating wave of emotions hit him. He couldn't breathe. As an adult now, who went through the roughest years in his teens while growing up, Takano had at least learn something from all the shit he went through- if you don't hold on to those you love, you will lose them. That's why, without any hesitation, he always grabbed the chance to say three words to Ritsu, to tell the brunette he loves him. But, there are also three other words he never said, out of fear of it happening.

_Don't leave me_

* * *

Yokozawa Takafumi presses the button. It was a brand new day in the morning and also time for work. Waiting for the metal doors of the lift to slide in, he heard a frantic shout of 'wait!' coming from the outside. He holds the door, waiting for the person. At the sight of who it was – his least favourite manga editor, his mood turned from '' obliging'' to '' hostile'' in a flash.

''Ah Yokozawa san '' greeted Onodera, entering the lift.

''It seems like you're making a habit of getting late for work,'' commented the older staff snippily, remembering the time with Masamune in the lift. As always, whenever Onodera is around, Yokozawa looks begrudging. '' You better not get complacent and give half assed work.''

Instead of giving a snappy comeback, Onodera ignored the comment and smiled.

_Why is he looking so chirpy_? wondered the sale staff.

''I have good news for you,'' said the brunette.

''What good news could you possibly give? '' questioned Yokozawa harshly. '' Unless you're telling me you're transferring departments,'' which was the only good news he could give, besides quitting Marukawa Shoten Publishing all together.

''I am,'' said Onodera brightly.

Taken aback, Yokozawa snaps his head to look at the brunette. '' You are? ''

''I am,'' Onodera confirmed. Yokozawa couldn't believe his ears. '' Isn't this great news? After attending the New Year's Eve party and thinking for a while, I decided that what I want in the end is still literature. My transfer got approved‒I'm transferring next week. '' Onodera smiles at Yokozawa. ''You don't have to worry about me seeing Takano san anymore. You also don't have to see me either.''

The lift stops.

''Yokozawa san, this is your floor,'' said the editor, seeing that Yokozawa wasn't moving. ''You're not getting off? ''

''And Masamune approved your transfer? '' asked Yokozawa incredulously, preoccupied with the news to care about whether or not it was his floor. He knew the raven well enough to know he would never let it slide, knowing there's no way he possibly would. The sales staff still had enough sense to close the door.

''He did,'' said Onodera, delivering another surprise. '' I talked to him about it and he was fine with it.''

Yokozawa stands in disbelief. That was two surprises he never would have expected. Onodera hums a tune, reaching his floor.

''Oh, and I have another news,'' said the brunette.

_What now? _

'' Takano san knows about this too,'' said Onodera.

''What is it? ''

''I'm dating An chan now.'' Onodera said with a smile, preparing to enter his floor. '' Isn't it great? A fresh start for all of us. ''

The lift closes, leaving the sales staff alone in it. Yokozawa is stunned. This is great news‒ what he wanted all along.

Then why did everything felt so _wrong _?


	18. No more 'I love you's

''_Does that mean, they're really over now_?'' wondered Yokozawa as the lift goes down, bringing him back to his floor. Dazed, the sales staff stepped away from the lift. Ten years' worth of history; from Masamune chasing a ghost. A ghost who didn't want to be found‒who _couldn't_ be found to his despairing emotional breakdown and difficult recovery to meeting that jerk again.

It was all over?

''_Masamune_,'' thought the sales staff instantly. How is he coping with the news? There's no possible way he would just accept this, not with that dead lock stubborn attitude of his. Distracted, Yokozawa nearly tripped at his own feet.

''Yokozawa san, are you alright?'' asked Henmi, a coworker who worked in the same department.

Appearing flustered, Yokozawa recovered and gave a vague '' I'm fine.'' Despite not being entirely convinced, Henmi decided to leave the Wild Bear alone, not wanting to incur his wrath in the early morning. Yokozawa gets to his table, and unpacked his bag, with the Maiden department's editor in chief on his mind.

_This… must be tough for him._

Instantly, Yokozawa recalled back their early college days, after the raven found out about the fiancé and started falling apart, like the complete collapsing of a dam. Days when Masamune would get so drunk he couldn't walk straight, Yokozawa would have to carry him back and get a taxi.

He had to talk to him. Yokozawa had to know how he was holding up. As soon as possible. The sales staff made his way down to shojo manga floor.

''Masamune! '' roared Yokozawa as he approached Takano, using a cover. '' What the hell is with the slow pace you're working? I expect you to get all your work done on time.''

''Huh?'' condemned Takano loudly, in the usual manner he talks to Yokozawa in the office, annoyed. '' What the hell are you doing here so early in the morning? ''

Yokozawa glanced to his side. At his desk, Onodera was talking on the phone to an author, oblivious to the conversation going on. Other than the office looking messy, everything‒ and everyone else‒ looked normal.

'' I'm just making sure you're progressing on that work of yours,'' said Yokozawa, bothered. '' You know how important that issue is. I don't need you to screw it up.''

''I don't need you to tell me something as simple as that! '' shouted Takano. ''Find me only if you have something actual to chase after from me.''

_At least he looked alright, _observed was editing his manuscripts.

''You better not slack off,'' warned the wild bear of Marukawa Shouten, leaving. There was still lunch time.

As afternoon entered the day, the two met up as usual. Matching each other's stride, they exited the company.

'' Yokozawa. 'Masaume lit up a cigarette, calling for his best friend's attention. '' Let's go drinking tonight.''

'' Are you sure you want to go drinking? '' the sales manager asked.

''Why not? ''

''I thought you might be occupied with work.''

''Not really''

_Fine_ .Yokozawa could force him to talk later.

* * *

Going to the bar they often went, the two ordered a beer each.

''Yokozawa,'' Takano grips his jug, taking a sip from it. The sales worker was keeping an eye on him, making sure Takano won't drink himself wasted. '' Onodera has told you the news, huh? ''Caught off guard, Yokozawa paused with a jolt, hesitating on what to do. '' Don't bother lying. I knew something was wrong when you came to the office.''

Conceding defeat, Yokozawa sighed, having no choice but to admit the truth. ''He told me this morning in the lift, before work started. And that fellow didn't even have the decency to feel awkward.''

Yokozawa wanted to say he was right all along, that Masamune was just wasting his time, but he knew better than to upset him in such a delicate state. Takano was holding the jug up, draining its contents quickly. Alarmed, and fearing that his best friend would return back to his former state, Yokozawa held onto Takano's jug.

''Don't worry,'' said Takano, before his friend could get a word out. '' I know by now alcohol won't do anything to solve any shit at all.'' Relaxing slightly, Yokozawa folded his arms, eyes narrowed.

''It's good that you know that'' he said prickly.

''You don't have to worry about me. I'm drinking only for today. After this, I'm going through it fully sober'' said Takano as he emptied out his first cup and asked for another.

''Then…. Does that mean you're giving up? '' asked Yokozawa, almost timidly, not sure whether he wanted to know the answer behind. Not sure whether he was brave enough to hear it. Undaring hope was creeping into his heart. '' You mention that you were going to make him say he loves you again. What happened to that? You're not the type to do a half assed job, Masaume.''

Wordlessly, Takano watched his jug getting refilled. Silence hung in the air. ''I'm not giving up on him. ''

Ritsu was his love. His first and only love. How could he let him go? Despite being two different people now, that point still hadn't changed. It never will. But other things change, and sometimes, you can't win a losing battle. You can't stop some things from happening.

'' You're going to wait?''

''I'm going to wait until one day, I have a chance.''

The editor chief held on to his jug, his eyes downcast. White bubbles foamed at the top of the alcoholic liquid. '' You should had heard him, Yokozawa … he was practically pleading with me.'' Takano swallowed, taking big gulps. '' To hear him talk about it. About falling in love- about giving it another chance.'' Another long gulp. ''You should have seen the look on his face when he said that. He wants to start afresh Yokozawa, but not with me‒ with her. ''

The memory of how the brunette looked that night flashed in Takano's head. The honest faith. Sincere voice. All that resembling a younger Ritsu. ''How could I still claim to love him, if I didn't let him go? 'questioned Takano, sounding angry. Not like he was pissed or hadn't gotten his way, but like how powerless he felt. Like how pointless everything was. '' Because I loved him, I had to let him go.''

Yokozawa worried that Takano was going to lose control. To lose himself and return to the broken state he once was. A broken shell of hopelessness and self-destruction. Ever since college freshman year, Yokozawa has been carrying his own bit of hope with him, hoping that maybe someday, Masamune would move on, and realize who was beside him all along. The person who helped him get through all the shit and got him back on his feet, who took care of him when he didn't wanted to look for himself. But Takano just confirmed what Yokozawa had known all the entire time‒ nothing would change.

Takano drank, loading his system with alcohol. The bitter taste floods his taste buds. While searching for the brunette, there were times when the thought of giving up had occurred to the raven; when clues lead to dust and frustration, and all there was left were fragmented pieces of memories spent together.

But then, Saga/Takano would remember the charmingly sweet smile. How Ritsu would blush deeply and looked shyly at the floor when he was around. How the brunette's voice would wobble whenever he said ''Senpai. 'Then the raven remembers how much he loves Ritsu. And no, he can't give up. He won't give up.

''Until the day he gets married, I'm not giving up.''

''You really do love him, don't you? '' said Yokozawa in a forlorn voice, admitting and knowledging the fact.

''With all of me,'' said Takano.

All of him.

* * *

''Ricchan! '' called An cheerfully, running forward to meet her boyfriend at the foot of Marouka Shouten building.

Shuffling forward like a zombie, Onodera collapse into her arms. It was officially the end of the cycle−which was also the end of Onodera's last cycle in the Maiden department as a shoujo manga editor. He would be staring work as a literature editor starting next Monday.

''Ricchan, you look horrible! '' said An Chan, her perfect eyebrows knitting together in distress. Her boyfriend looked like a sleep deprived mummy with heavy eye bags under his barely opening eyes; skin the color of tofu.

''I haven't eaten a proper meal, showered or slept for 3 days straight,'' said Onodera , wanting nothing more than to go home and take a hot shower and sleep. '' Our whole department goes through that cycle every 21 days.'' It didn't looked like he wanted pity, but the dying editor sure looked like he needed it.

''Poor Ricchan,'' said An, letting Onodera lean on her head as she held his arm, acting as a support. '' Let's go back and rest, okay? '' Barely being able to nodded, Onodera gives the tiniest nod as they headed back to his apartment. Behind them, as An chan comforted Ritsu while he shares how utterly drained he is, someone watches.

Stepping out of the office building, Takano Masamune stops as he eyes landed sharply on the two brunettes holding onto each other. During the time after their last meeting and the time before Onodera officially transfer, Takano had been acting as usual, like nothing happened.

Through the lens of his black rimmed specs, he watches the tired brunette engages An chan in a charmingly childlike and innocent manner−something he will never do in front of the him‒ coaxing her for comfort. From a distance, he watches An ruffles his hair and pats his head, praising him a job well done for surviving the cycle in one piece‒something he will never say to him as his boss.

Faintly, the words floated over to him. ''Well, at least you don't have to go through that anymore, since you're going back to lit…''

Feeling the heat of a stare at the back of his head, Onodera whips around, spotting Takano.

''What's the matter?'' asked An when she saw a change in Ritsu's expression. She followed his move and sees the editor in chief standing some distance away.

''Nothing,'' answered Onodera as the two walked off.

''Masamune,'' came a sharp disapproving tone. Behind the editor in chief, Yokozawa stepped forward.

'' Stop staring at him like that, drilling holes into his head using your eyes isn't going to bring him back.'' The worker in business suit eyed the pair. He wants to blame the brunette, to point and say that this is his fault. But, who can blame him? Onodera was doing what the sales worker had wanted him to do all along-stay away from Masaume.

For a few more seconds, Takano continued watching. The only remotely comforting thing about learning Ritsu had a fiancée, when he was in college, was not watching it happen. And maybe, reassure himself that Ritsu did love him. But this isn't college anymore. This is the present. It is actually happening, right before their eyes.

''I know,'' said the raven, nothing more.

Takano's eyes lingered on Onodera, his amber eyes reflecting an unsaid emotion, before he finally take his leave.

Anyone who heard his answer wouldn't know better. If Yokozawa hadn't known him for so long, as his best friend, he, like others, would have missed that ‒ underneath the words, was the cracking sound of a heart.

* * *

'' We're going to miss you Ricchan! ''cried Kisa, lunging forward to hug Onodera.

The brunette was packing his desk, putting his belonging in a box. He stops and returns Kisa's hug. Refreshed from the end of the cycle, the shojo manga department wanted to say goodbye to the youngest editor in their team.

''Yes, we're going to miss you,'' said Mino, grinning as always. The three co-workers were crowded around Onodera and his soon to be vacant desk. This was what the young man had initially planned when he switched company ‒ transferring to Maruka shouten's literature department.

Hatori nodded, knowledging his work. ''You were a good addition to the team.''

''Ricchan, produce a best-selling book okay? I will definitely buy it! '' said Kisa.

''Me too,'' said Mino.

''I will,'' Onodera smiled. He bows forward, filled with anticipation and a bit of sadness for leaving. ''It's been a pleasure and great experience working with you guys. '' Rising up, the brunette wishes them well. '' I know the team will do well without me, or at least until you get a new editor.''

''Where's Takano? '' asked Kisa, looking around.

''He's in a meeting,'' said Hatori. Their boss was going to miss their little farewell.

''Bye Ricchan! '' said Kisa as Onodera carries his item, heading for the lift. Stopping at their floor, the lift door opens, revealing the editor-in-chief inside it. Takano takes a step forward and stops as he glanced at Onodera carrying his big box of items.

''Ah, I see the whole gang is here! 'Isaka Ryuichiro came in from around the corner at that moment, a pleasant smile on his face.

''Isaka san,'' Kisa sounded surprised. '' What are you doing here? ''

''Just seeing what you guys are up to, sending Onodera off to another department.'' Isaka swing his arm around Takano, winking at him at an angle that only the editor in chief could see. '' Bet you guys are going to miss him, right Takano? ''

The raven shrugged off Isaka's arm.

''Takano san, don't you have anything to say? '' asked Kisa.

Darting his eyes back to the three behind, Takano walks past Onodera and shouted. ''What are the three of you doing standing there? Get back to your work!''

''Takano san! Don't you have anything to say to Ricchan at all? ''Cried the youthful looking editor.

While the two starts to argue, Isaka approaches Onodera. ''It's good to see you making changes that you want to happen, Onodera.'' Isaka said, going off. ''Stay focused.''

As the rest of the team goes back to work, the brunette enters the lift; but before he closed the door, he called out Takano's name.

''Takano san,'' the editor‒in‒chief turns, his expression indifferent. Only the smallest bit of sadness leaking through his steely gaze. '' It's been a good experience working with you,'' said Onodera sincerely, recounting the days in Maiden department. The times when they went through the cycle of hell together. With winter giving way to a new season, spring was approaching. It seemed like around the editor, everything was starting anew.

''Take care '' he said, as the door shuts, closing him up, marking the end of his days as a shojo manga editor.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Yes, i think I'm a sadist too. You guys probably hate me now for writing sad non-otp chapters like this. ****Bear with me for a few more chapters. It won't be like this forever. **

**For those of you who don't like the plot or agree with what the characters are doing, let me remind you the story is called Alternatively, **

**The plot doesn't follow after the manga after the confrontation scene with Yokozawa, so the personalities here are different too. Onodera and An are best friends here, and both of them are characteristically different from the manga/anime, so is Takano.  
**

**Updates will be slower since I'm busier now :( Anyone who is interested to be a beta reader please pm me. **

**This was much longer than I planned.**

**Thank you for reading ! 3**


	19. Chocolates,Hearts and Awkwardness

Walking towards his new desk, literature book editor Onodera greeted his co-workers.

''Good morning Hasegawa san''

''Good morning, Onodera san'' greeted the co-worker. On each desk was a stack of chocolates, all of different brands and variety. Looking at his own table, Onodera spot a pile of the dark sweet on his table as well.

''Are those for me?'' asked the young man, nonplussed by the amount of chocolate on his table.

''Yup,'' answered Hasegawa . '' Crazy isn't it? Every year all the female staff just spam us with chocolate on Valentine's Day. But it seems like this year we had even more staff coming over, dropping chocolates, due to a transfer of a particular editor.'' Hasegawa smiled knowingly at Onodera, who was starting to feel embarrassed by the news.

''Those Emerald boys have always been popular,'' chimed another literature editor, '' I heard this year, there's a mountain of them,' 'referring to the chocolates. A phone was being passed around, showing a picture uploaded onto Marukawa Shoten's official page. Onodera's eyes nearly popped out when he saw the huge stack of fancy chocolate.

''Wow,'' said the brunette, taken aback.

''Impressive isn't it?'' said Hasagawa good-naturedly, picking a piece from his table. '' We get our own share, just not as much.''

It has been a few weeks since the shoju manga editor made his transfer over to the literature department, and Onodera has adjusted rather well‒ getting along with his co-workers in the new department.

''Too bad I can't accept them,'' said the editor.

''Why is that so, Onodera san ?'' asked someone.

''Because I have a girlfriend.'' The editor was still not used to calling the petite brunette his girlfriend, finding it too weird.

''Any plans for today? '' asked another. Since the literature department had less work as compared to the shoujo manga department, they didn't have many deadlines to rush. Then, as if on cue, Onodera's phone vibrated.

_From An chan_

_Happy Valentine's Day Ricchan! Don't forget our date and see you later 3_

Yes, he does.

''Thank you for the gift,'' said Takano graciously, behaving his best as he accepts a box from another female staff. Giggling shyly, the pretty worker bats her eyelashes, handing over her gift. As soon as she left, Takano tossed it to the growing heap over is table. He had enough supply for a year.

Over in the Emerald division, the boys were being surrounded by the pile of chocolate given to them. So much that Onodera's still empty desk had turned into a dumping ground for the dark sweet. The saccharine scent of all the combine chocolates was starting to get nauseating.

Takano glanced briefly over the seat where the brunette used to work.

''Well, hello everybody,'' said Isaka cheerfully as he entered the department, surveying the place. ''I see you guys are as popular as ever,'' he said, spotting the mountain of chocolate boxes wrapped up, sky high. Grinning, he scanned the faces of the Maiden department. ''You boys aren't missing anything, are you? '' Even though he was asking the question out loud to everyone, Isaka was looking at Takano.

''What do you want, Isaka san?'' asked Takano, not in the mood for games.

''Just wanted to see how's this year's Valentine's Day is for the whole company. Oh, and before I forget-_again_\- the pictures from the New Year's Eve party have been uploaded for quite a while. Take a look if you have the time!'' With that, Isaka left and the whole office resume their activities.

As usually, the editor in chief poured over the manuscript, doing his work. Occasionally, he would bark out orders. And then sometimes, he would make a trip down to the printers or go through some last minute changes with the authors over the phone.

'' You guys can go for lunch,'' said Takano, taking note of the time.

''What about you? '' asked Hatori.

''I'll eat later, once I'm done editing this.''

The editor in chief worked into his lunch hour, finished with the editing. Dropping his red pen down, Takano grabbed his bag and pulls something out. Shortly, he made a stop at the literature department and asked for the desk of Onodera Ritsu. Going over to the brunette's desk, the editor in chief drops something there. Once done with his quick detour, the raven heads for lunch.

Relax; Onodera entered the office after having his meal. It has almost time to start work again and he had some documents to review. Gradually approaching his desk, the lit editor noticed something new on it- a stalk of dark red rose was placed on his table- along with a book beneath it.

He didn't have to check to know who the giver was. Gingerly‒ almost cautiously, the brunette reaches for the book and curiously reads the cover. It was an English book.

_100 Love Sonnets by Pablo Neruda. _

A book of love poems.

Takano enjoyed reading; it was a pastime which developed into a hobby. But with Ritsu, it could be sensed that he had a passion for it‒ which was why he was a literature editor in the first place.

The editor picked up the rose and twirled it; its wine coloured petals swirling together in a beautiful pattern.

A classic symbol of love.

Attached to it, was a small note written in a handwritten he recognized from the remarks scribbled on drafts of manga by the editor in chief during his time in Emerald_. _

'_Happy Valentine's Day'_

* * *

'' Happy Valentine's Day Ricchan! '' greeted An delightfully, happy to be able to spend the day with Ritsu. In her out stretched hands, was a carefully wrapped box in the shape of a heart. ''I made them myself,'' the young lady declared proudly.

''Thank you,'' said the editor, taking the box.

'' Aren't you going to try the chocolates? '' she asked, looking at Ricchan with excited eyes. '' I hope they taste okay.''

Obeying her wishes, the young man opened the box and took a piece. ''It's….nice'' he said, due to the lack of a better word. Aren't handmade chocolates given by the person you like supposed to taste, well… impossibly good? Not that he was ungrateful; Onodera just thinks they taste like normal chocolate. The rose and the book on his desk surfaced in his thoughts.

_I shouldn't be thinking about that_

Chasing the thoughts of the gifts away, the editor hurriedly grabbed another chocolate and popped it in his mouth, the chocolate melting away. The gifts were still on his table. He couldn't possibly carry them around on his date with An chan, right? Besides, it was going to add weight to his bag.

''They're sweet, aren't they?'' An asked, smiling. Absentmindedly, Onodera nodded his head. ''Ricchan.'' Shyly, the young lady looked up at her fiancé, holding up two films of plastic, with a pink heart on each- fake tattoos. ''Ricchan… can we put this on together on our cheeks for today? I know it's girly but my friends are doing it with their boyfriend so I wanted to do it as well….It's Valentine's day so it's only for today.''

The image of Worldcup fans with flags of the countries they supported pasted on their face surfaced in the young man's head. Hesitating, Onodera wondered to say yes or no until his eyes meet An's. Seeing the courage she took to ask and the hope in her eyes, the editor agreed.

After pasting on the heart shaped pink tattoo, Onodera smiled, his left cheek lifting up with it. Similarly, An had one on her right cheek, matching him. Linking her arms through his, An grinned happily.

''Let's go Ricchan.''

The plan was simple- just go around Tokyo and have fun. So far, all their dates together have consisted of that‒ and some shopping. Nothing different from the times they hanged out together. Since it was Valentine's day, cafes are rolling out special menus.

Spotting one with seats available, An pulled Onodera along. '' Ricchan, let's go in to that one!''

''Okay,'' said the young man, being dragged into the café.

''Oh, that so sweet!'' gushed the waitress as she saw the matching hearts on the two brunette's faces.

''Yea,'' laughed Onodera awkwardly as his date smiled. Leading them to their table, the waitress handed the menu. After browsing through it, the editor asked. '' Umm, why is there only 1 drink for all the two set meals?''

''Couples are supposed to share the drink,'' said the waitress, winking at him.

''Oh,'' said Onodera uncomfortably, eyes widening with alarm.

''We'll have two set meals please,'' said An, handing over her menu. Holding up two fingers, Onodera quickly adds a request before the waitress left, '' and two straws please'', earning a look from the staff.

''Sorry An chan,'' said the young man apologetically, feeling bad. He _really_ didn't want to share a straw, even if An was supposed to be his girlfriend.

''Its okay Ricchan,'' said An.

* * *

Alone in his apartment, Takano sat on his sofa, wearing his spectacles. He had knocked off from work and brought home the manuscripts to edit them. Holding his phone, Takano was calling Mutou sensei, who had Onodera as her editor before he left. The mangaka was having trouble writing a party scene, which the raven couldn't understand how it could be possible.

''Hello Mutou sensei, this is Takano san.''

''Oh Takano san,'' said the mangaka picking up the call, ''thank you for helping me with this.''

''No problem,'' said the editor in chief. _If only Onodera didn't transferred. _'' You're having trouble with the plot at the party?''

''Oh yes, and it's so hard to continue the story when there isn't any inspiration for it.''

''Didn't you attend the New Year's Eve party? '' asked Takano.

''Yes.''

''How about drawing inspiration from your experience attending it?''

''There's no inspiration from it,'' said Mutou sensei.

''Do you remember anything from it? '' There was also something to be used from experience.

''I'm afraid I don't remember much.''

Takano swallowed back a shout. With Mutou sensei, you have to be patient, which was why she was under Onodera. But the editor in chief knew how to handle her; it was his job after all.

''I heard the pictures taken from it are uploaded. Perhaps we could look through them together. You might find something useful.''

''That sounds like a good idea!'' replied the mangaka excitedly. Takano hopes she doesn't turn it into a gossiping session.

Opening his laptop, Takano was browsing through the photos taken at the party, with Mutou sensei on the other line. They weren't half bad.

The popular mangaka Chiharu Yoshikawa /Chiaki Yoshino was holding a piece of finger food and smiling happily, oblivious to the photographer. A manga assistant of his was on his left while Hatori was standing on his right, sandwiching the bestselling mangaka who was between them. A shot of authors and editors entering the ballroom, looking their best. Isaka chit chatting with a group of guests, with his assistant beside him. Surrounded by a group of ladies, Kisa looked uncomfortable as they probably tried to extract skincare secrets from him. Mino was smiling, as always, in another picture. Renowned author Usagi Akihiko was present too. Photos of everyone‒ from the staff to the mangakas‒ were there.

''The pictures are pretty well taken, aren't they?'' said Mutou sensei, looking through them. '' Takano san, you looked so handsome,'' she remarked. There was a photo of the editor in chief and Yokozawa together, looking all classic noir gangster.

Finally, there was one shot which made Takano paused.

Standing in the middle at the food table, dressed in his best, was the former manga editor. Beaming at the camera, Ritsu had his hand up in a half wave, smiling brightly.

''Onodera san has a beautiful smile, doesn't he?'' remarked Mutou sensei. Without waiting for the raven to reply, she added '' I think I found enough inspiration for the story. Thank you for your help Takano san.''

''You're welcome,'' said the editor in chief, fully drawn to Onodera's smile.

''And happy Valentine's day,'' she said, hanging up.

It's been so long since high school, that Takano had nearly forgotten how bright and beautiful Ritsu's smile could be. How his whole face lit up. For a long moment, the raven stares at the photo of his love. As Oda Ritsu, the brunette smiled a lot, all for the joy of seeing and being around his senior. As an adult, Takano seen him grumble and scowl instead.

Longingness for the brunette spreads across the room. He sighed. Like a man, Takano is respecting Onodera's decisions and facing the facts. While he waits, he'll just drop subtle hints every now and then to say he's not giving up.

''That was a good meal,'' said An, looping her arm through her fiancé's again as they left the café.

''Uh huh,'' Onodera nodded his head. It was‒ if only the couple beside them would stop feeding each other, and the other table beside them didn't had to be so lovey-dovey and say ''I love you'' every ten minutes.

''What do you wanna do next Ricchan?''

''How about we just walk around? '' The two brunette were used to walking around when they hang out. On the streets, couples holding hands were surrounding them as the crowd moved. For some reason, the editor was starting to feel uncomfortable.

Some distance away, a line was forming. A photo booth was set up and couples were joining the queue.

''Excuse me, what's this for?'' asked An, approaching the staff there.

''We're having a special Valentine's Day promotion. Snap a picture with your partner and redeem a bag of goodies.''

''Let's do it Ricchan!'' said An eagerly, watching the couples pose.

''I don't know…'' said Onodera reluctantly.

''Come on! Even two guys are doing it!'' said the petite brunette. True enough, a gay couple were posing for the camera. The editor blushed, a specific raven coming into mind. Grabbing the young man along, An joined in for the queue.

_Stop thinking about him_ chided Onodera to himself. _You're with An chan now._

''Please pose for the camera, 'said the photographer when it was their turn.

''What pose should we do?'' asked the editor.

''How about this?'' His fiancé suggested, leaning over and curving her arm, fingers touching her head to form half a heart. '' We'll form a heart shape.''

''Okay,'' said the young man, awkwardly bending over, going along with the plan.

''1…2…3!''

* * *

''Thanks for buying this for me Ricchan,'' said An, holding on to a bag of clothes. The editor had bought them for her when they went shopping afterwards. An's family chauffer was waiting for her by the road, the car ready, as the two brunettes bid their farewell. The day was coming to an end.

''You're welcome,'' said Onodera with a smile.

''Remember to give me something back on White's day!'' teased his fiancé.

''Oh right!'' said the young man, forgotten about it.

An gazed at Ritsu.

''I hope you had fun today,'' she said, knowing that Ricchan doesn't celebrate- or believe in- the occasion, and was giving it a try due to his attempt at giving love a second chance.

''It was… interesting' 'said the editor. Leaning in, the petite brunette placed her arms around him. Tipping on her toes, An balance her weight as she gave a chaste kiss on the young man's cheek.

''Goodnight Ricchan,'' she said pulling back. Awkwardly, Onodera pulls back, unsure of what else to do.

''Goodnight An chan,'' he said. The car leaves, driving away.

Standing by the roadside, the editor presses his hand to his chest, feeling for his heart.

''_Was dating supposed to be this awkward… and boring? ''_ wondered the brunette, a troubled look on his face. Valentine's Day is a special occasion, so he should enjoy it more now as a couple with An chan, right?

Pressing his hand to his chest, the editor wondered. Where did the butterflies in his stomach and feelings of excitement of his youth go? Was he that out of tune with his emotions?

'_Back when I was in high school, I always get so nervous whenever senpai was in the room. And my heart would beat so…'_

'_Stop thinking about him!'_ chided Onodera, catching himself thinking of that person again. Annoyed with himself, Onodera scowled and shake his head wildly.

_He's not your Valentine._

The rose and book came to mind.

_Urgh_

Making his way to the subway, the editor cringed as he shakes the thought of the raven off his mind.

* * *

**Author's notes:The idea for the book was from Anna and the French kiss, where the guy also gave Anna a book to sort of confess his feelings. It's a good read and I recommend it if you have the time.**

**It was hard to start this at first but I had fun writing it in the end.**

**Who had fun at the New Year's Eve party ? **

**Let me know what you think below !**


	20. When I was Oda Ritsu

With spring fast approaching, what better way to welcome the season then conduct a spring cleaning session of your own house?

A much needed cleaning session

A much needed, overdue, massive cleaning session; which apparently can't be done by one person.

Dressed in old pair of shorts and plain shirts, while carrying a bag containing clothes to change into when's done, An Kohinata was at the doorstep of her fiance's apartment, ready to help with the spring cleaning. A week ago, Onodera had requested for her help in cleaning up his apartment, because the place had accumulated too much crap. There was barely any available space left.

Knocking on the door, the brunette waited for a response. Some minutes passed and she realised that Onodera was vacuuming the house, hearing the faint noise suction of it travelling through the door. After knocking harder again, she waited. Still, the editor probably didn't hear it.

Whipping out her phone, she was half way through a text after a unanswered call when the apartments next door swung open. The petite lady stared in surprise. Unexpectedly, Takano Masamune was leaving his apartment, coincidentally meeting _the_ fiancé.

''Good afternoon,'' greeted An politely, because it was the first thing everyone thought of to say in a situation like this, when you don't know what to say. '' You're Ricchan's boss? Takano san isn't it ?''

_Aka THE first love_

''Former boss,'' corrected the editor in chief. Promptly, An bite on her tongue. She had forgotten about that. ''And good afternoon,'' he adds. Nervously, she gave a small smile, totally caught off guard meeting him there. The brunette may not know everything about Onodera's first love but she knew it was intense on an epic proportion. _This_ was supposedly the epic first love of Onodera- the one and only- living next to him every day as his neighbour. As the raven locked his door, An took a closer look, inspecting him.

Takano Masamune had an unapproachable air around him, giving off cold vibes. His brooding good looks – razor sharp cheekbones, snowy fair skin and perfect features - did nothing to help.

''How's Onodera doing? ''he asked nonchalantly out of a sudden, startling An momentarily. '' He transferred to the literature department. How is he coping?''

''He's doing fine,'' said the young lady. '' He likes it there.''

''That's good to know,''

''Thank you for taking care of him at work previously,'' said An, bowing.

Takano threw an uninterested glance at her, spotting the bento sitting on top of the clothes in the bag. No doubt made for Ritsu. '' Make sure he eats proper meals,'' added the raven.

The brunette was about to say something when the door to apartment 1202 opened. Wearing a mask, Onodera jerks it down.

''An chan, you're here! Sorry I missed your call, was too busy vacuuming to hear it. It's about time I use the thing…'' Spotting his former boss next door, Onodera drifted off his sentence.

''Oh…Hi Takano san… Good afternoon,'' said the editor lamely, feeling the awkwardness of the entire situation, green eyes shifting over the entire place. The three of them were standing in the corridor.

_Talk about good timing._

''Good afternoon,'' said the raven, giving only a sharp greeting. Leaving, Takano heads for the lift.

Letting out a sigh of relief, Onodera leans against the door.

''Is he always this scary? '' asked An Chan, looking distressed as she entered the place.

Pearls of laughter carried over to the tall man over at the lift as door of 1202 shuts. Pensively, he looks at his own reflection staring back at him on the panels of the elevator.

As much as Takano truly dislike the situation now, pressuring Ritsu in a corner like last time only backfired, resulting in the young man running even more. But it's not like he's going to sit around and do nothing. He's giving the editor some space to let himself find out what he wants. Even if it means watching Ritsu with someone else to let him realize.

Takano understands.

This is also love.

* * *

''Woa Ricchan,'' remarked An, stunned by the condition of his house. '' How did you live in this place?''

''It's not that messy,'' defended the young man. The place looked like it was flipped upside down and ran through by a tornado. ''I got too busy to clean it up but I've manage to live just fine!''

''Poor Ricchan,'' said his fiancé. Tying her hair back, she grabbed a mask and put it on, ready to start cleaning. ''Let's do this! ''

Hours of clearing,cleaning, vacuuming, and disinfecting the place, they did the dirty dishes and sorted the cutlery. The two brown-haired adults also sorted the garbage into recycled bags and one garbage bag. Taking a break, they sat at the table.

''Ricchan, I made a bento for you,'' said An happily. Presenting her work, the brunette opened the box and laid it on the table.

''Thank you,'' said Onodera, digging in. While the editor eats, his fiancé lean sideways and gave a peek on the cheek.

''Um…'' Frozen, Onodera blinked uncomfortably, letting tense silence take over. Thinking it was best to just eat his food, the editor said nothing, forming an awkward atmosphere, looming over them. Disappointedly, An looks on at her fiancé with silence.

* * *

The last room left was the storage room, which has in the master bedroom. After taking out some old clothes, the editor starts to move all the items out from there. It was mostly old books he had and a couple of boxes, filled with forgotten things.

An placed her hands over the cover of a box. ''What's in this Ricchan?''

''I don't know, An chan,'' confessed Onodera. It was still in good condition, almost new if not for the faded colour. He doesn't remember what could possibly be in it. Opening it, the two adults explored the contents. Sitting on top was a few pens, loose paper and a few yearbooks.

''Oh,'' said the editor, '' this must be all my high school mementos. My mum must have packed them with the rest of my stuff when I moved over.'' Digging the books up, Onodera looks through them. ''I've forgotten I even had these. It was when I went to England to study.''

''Can I see?'' An asked, looking on with curiosity. Onodera's mum had shown her some photos before, but that was it. They rarely saw each other during the time Onodera studied overseas, only once or twice. Flipping through the pages, Onodera finds his class.

''I went to an international school, so there were a few Japanese in it.'' The editor flipped to a page. A class with students of different nationalities and colour. Scanning the picture, An tries to find Onodera among the students.

''There you are! 'she exclaimed, pointing at a high school Onodera Ritsu whose smile distinguished him from the rest. After marveling at the picture, the young man flipped to the back of the yearbook, where classmates scribbled on notes about him. Since each student had their own free copy, it was a way to say something nice or memorable about each other.

''Let's see what they wrote,'' said the former blushing young student, now a full-fledged adult in his mid-twenties. Among the many writings, some stood out. One person wrote ''Cute'', another wrote ''Kind and generous'' while someone had scribbled on a berating ''Too Nice!'' at one of the corners.

The young man reads the comments, feeling the pangs of nostalgia of his time abroad. An took the box over, discovering another yearbook at the bottom. It was older and thicker than the others, with Japanese writings on it.

''Ricchan, there's one more,'' said the petite lady, taking it out and flipping it through.'' I think this is when you were in middle school,'' she said, passing it to her fiancé. Taking it, another different kind of emotion took hold of the editor.

''Oh,'' Onodera said, realizing what it is, voice faltering. ''This was the one from before I transferred.'' Before he dropped everything, left- and never looked back. ''I was in class 1-3 or was it 1-4?''

Eagerly taking the book, An browsed through the pages and stopped, scanning the class for a familiar face she knew long ago.

''There ,'' said Onodera, pointing to his former self. A young boy of nearly sixteen smiled sweetly at the camera, cheeks lifted with a bright smile, a rosy hue colouring his complexion.

''Ricchan, you were so cute!'' exclaimed An, squealing.

Wanly, the editor smiled. A sweet naïve air surrounded the youth, who at that time, had not experience the piercing pain of heartbreak. Lost in his thoughts, Onodera unconsciously made a remark. ''Takano san was from this school too.''

Glancing up at her fiancé, An pursed her lips. Did she just touch a sensitive topic?

''Right Ricchan… you said something about that before…'' An drifted off, not sure where else to steer the conversation to. ''Did you remember which class he was in?'' asked the young lady, realizing her mistake. Maybe she shouldn't have asked that question.

''Class 3-3,'' said the editor, giving the answer. Flipping, he found the page.

Without much finding, An pointed to a brooding senior, who looked expressionlessly into the camera. ''Is it him?'' .The air around him hasn't changed much.

Onodera studies the boy in the picture, his tone wavering slightly. ''Yes,'' he said. '' That' him.'' Minutes of silence pass, unaired thoughts floating in the open. '' We dated for a short while in high school.''

''Do you want to talk about it?'' asked An, seeing the change of emotion in him. '' Its okay if you don't want to.''

''No, its fine,'' answered the young man, sharing his relationship for the first time. '' You should know about this.''

''How was he like? 'asked An chan, curious. There has to be something more under that cold façade, so much that Ritsu was so hopelessly in love with him, so much that years of resolution couldn't help him move on.

''Apathetic,'' said Onodera, the word coming into mind. It was the best word to describe him. '' He has always been cold- and aloof-even now.'' Onodera hardly saw the indifferent face of the senior-past and present- crack any emotion out. So, he sulked more now as the editor in chief, but he had one default expression. Even when they dated, there wasn't much change. Not much smiles, and even lesser laughter. Staring at the picture, the editor let his thoughts go. ''He was kind,'' he said. Well, maybe until he carelessly snorted at least.

''Oh ? ''

''Kind,'' said the editor, looking at the face of a young Saga Masamune, barely an adult. Vividly, the memory of how the high school senior rescued the cat which he later adopted in the rain played in his mind, like a lost film. Then, Onodera's very first memory, and encounter of him- of how he fell in love-Saga helping him grab a book- followed.

Pieces of their little time spent together in high school came back to the brunet. Days when Saga sink into his seat lazily, pouring over a novel or a nonfiction book, days when Ritsu would maintain a respectful distance away, just watching. Days when he would come over for the night. Days when the tight embrace and hot kisses would overwhelm him. Days when they would sit at the same table, just sharing about the books they read.

''I fell in love with him the moment I met him, when he helped me take a book.'' Lowering his green eyes, Onodera went on. '' Frankly speaking, I was embarrassed about how I felt afterwards- falling for such a trivial little thing.'' How he went on afterwards to find the books the senior had borrowed and found out his name and class.

''Back then, I looked up all the books he read, and checked them out. There were all sorts of books. Books I liked and books I didn't care for at all. It made me happy to think we shared the same space…in the world of these books. Even though that's all it was, that alone made me so happy.''

An studies her fiancé's face, picking up all sorts of emotions. Traces of fondness, sadness, heartbreak and a little bit of something she's never seen him display. ''For 3 years, I told myself it was just a crush- a phase. It would pass. Only it didn't. ''

''Ricchan,'' the brunette said sorrily, her own heart aching.

''Then one day I accidentally confessed. Seeing him right there in front me, I couldn't contain my emotions. Before I know it, we were dating.''

''Did he loved you? ''

''He said he did. And it did felt like he did,'' said Onodera, remembering the way Saga put his arms around him in the library, white curtains fluttering around them in the wind. The way he said 'I love you.' The way he called his name. Moving over to the young man, An wrapped her arms around him in a comforting hug.

Delicately and carefully, An approached the topic, ''what happened?''

''I ran away,'' said the editor frankly, '' He snorted when I asked whether we were going out. It has then I thought, 'Onodera Ritsu, you truly are a fool. You were being played all along'. It was a coward thing to do, I know. But that was the only thing I could do.''

Seemingly staring into space, a melancholy look clouded his eyes, he continued, 'I tried so hard to move on after that, it nearly killed me,'' he said emotionally, bearing his scars. ''So that it wouldn't kill me, I erased him from my memory.'' Erase the name. Erase the face. The deep tone of his voice. Erase all the 'I love you's from his mind. Silently, An listened without judging. ''Now, ten years later-I found out it was an error in judgement,'' the young man confessed. The editor stills, letting silence take over. For a long moment, the two of them sat there, saying nothing.

''It will never work out between us anyways,'' he concluded, thinking about his flustered self in high school. Too nervous, too in love. ''We had no idea what we were doing,'' he said softly, accepting the way things were.

Firmly, Onodera closed the yearbook with a loud thud, tossing the book to the pile of things to be thrown. Abruptly, the brunette moves on to reorganise another pile of items.

Fervent confessions of love and a bold resolved declaration of 'I'll make you say you love me again'' flashed through the editor's mind. Emotions running high, Onodera focused on sorting through his things, pushing away the emotion's he's experiencing.

_Onodera Ritsu, get a hold of yourself_

''It's all over now,'' Onodera reaffirmed, trying to sound like it was the solid truth. An stared after him, catching a glimpse of how deep things ran for the two students back in high school - natively young and deeply in love.

''Is it?'' asked An from the back, unconvinced. The young man moved quickly, fingers trembling as he grabbed onto something.

_Are you still waiting for him?_ She wanted to ask the raven, before Onodera opened the door. However, it seems like the answer's obvious. '' It doesn't seem like the case for him.'' An noted, remembering the longing look Takano gave when they left the building on Onodera's last day.

''That's his problem,'' said the editor uncaringly, wanting to put his attention somewhere else. Why did he have to bring Takano san up in the first place? '' We didn't even dated that long.'' He repeats his statement. '' It's all over.''

An, however, disagrees. Even a blind man could see the truth of the situation.

Things are far from over.

* * *

**Author's notes: Sorry for the lack of substantial development and kinda slow and boring chapter. But I felt that it was necessary to show that An understands what the situation truly is. Updates will continue to be slow.**


	21. An Kohinata no baai

Leaning against the wall, Takano inhaled slowly, dragging his cigarette away with equally lax movements, expelling out thin trails of smoke. Instead of eating, he was having a smoke break during lunch hour instead. Taking his time, the editor in chief took another drag on his cigarette. Suddenly entering the smoking area, was none other than Yokozawa.

''Oh Masamune,'' Caught off guarded by Takano's unexpected presence, Yokozawa stopped in his tracks awkwardly. '' How are things for you?'' he asked. They hadn't seen each other in a while, with Yokozawa trying to maintain a distance between ever since the night at the bar now that he knows it's useless to wait for him. The sales staff still has no idea what to do with his feelings. ''As usual,'' said Takano, tapping his cigarette. ''You?''

''The same,'' answered Yokazawa, taking out his own lighter and cigarette. Conveniently, in the past, they used to share the lighter with familiar ease when one of them just entered. Now things are so awkward between them, they can't even look each other in the eye.

''No appetite? ''

''Yea''

Silence again.

Fretfully, Yokozawa wondered whether he should ask about the editor who transferred.

_Of course not_, he chided himself sternly. Had he forgotten about the fiancé?

Smoking in silence, both of them keep their questions to themselves, unanswered.

* * *

Diligently, Onodera was editing a draft in deep concentration when a co-worker patted on his back.

''Onodera kun, it's lunch time now.''

'' Please go ahead without me,'' said the editor, resolved to finish go through the draft first. Leaving Onodera to his work, the rest of them headed for lunch.

''He's so hardworking, isn't him? ''said a co-worker after a distance away. Murmurs of agreement floated over to the editor in his seat. Upon hearing the comforting words, the brunette smiled. His efforts were being recognized – and acknowledged. Perhaps he should have made the transfer long ago.

After completing his work, the young man stands up, going for lunch. In his pocket, Onodera's phone vibrated wildly.

''Oh Mum,'' greeted Onodera, walking.

''Ritsu,'' said his mum, '' have you taken lunch yet?''

''Not yet, I'm going for it now.'' Onodera was heading away from the route to the first floor; heading towards a random direction, finding a quieter place to talk. Since young, as a way to show manners while speaking on the phone, Onodera had developed a habit of talking with his head down, eyes lowered.

''What about breakfast?'' asked the wife of the current head of Onodera Publishing.

''I ate.''

''What did you ate?'' It had been a long time since his mom last called so he expected a furry of questions to come. Oblivious to his surroundings, Onodera walked to another part of the level, going to with no people.

In the smoking room, the two staff heard an approaching voice, breaking the silence. The person continued talking, seemingly heading towards their way. With growing realization of the familiar tone, the two staff came to know who it was. For whatever reason, Takano and Yokozawa felt a strange sense of anxiety coursing through them. What were they supposed to do if Onodera walks in?

Thoroughly occupied with answering his mum's question, Onodera came to a halt, lowering down to a squat. Leaning against the transparent glass panels of the smoking room, the editor had narrowly missed seeing the editor in chief and sales manager. Facing away from them, Onodera was unaware that he was being heard.

''How are things between you and An chan ?''

''It's fine,''

''What do you mean 'Its fine? '' probed his mum, confused with the term.

''I took her shopping and on dates. We celebrated Valentine's day together…'' Yokazawa glanced over at Takano, who was hearing every single word from Onodera's part of the conversation, as did he. Casually, Takano took a drag on his cigarette, his expression betraying nothing. Briefly, Yokzoawa wondered whether he should just march up to Onodera and tell him to talk somewhere else. On the phone, Onodera answered the questions mindlessly.

''Yes… …Yes….. Okay…. I know…. Okay…..''

'_Forget it,' _thought the sales staff. _It's not going to make a difference anyway_

''When do you plan to get married? '' came Mrs Onodera's blunt question.

''_Mom_,'' begged the editor in exasperation, rolling his eyes. ''I'm just trying this out. I… I haven't thought of marriage.''

A deep inhalation came from the raven while the sales head shifts his feet uncomfortably. The head of brown hair was pressed against the panels, at an angle away from them. Arms crossed over his thigh, Onodera hunched in a tense manner.

''What do you mean you haven't thought about it? Why date An chan if you're not planning to marry her. You two are engaged ! ''

''I know, I know. And I'm not playing around. I just want to try things out first. I just… don't have any _plans_ for that.''

''Then start thinking about them. ''

''Mom,'' started the heir, bringing up an alternate possibility that could happen. '' What if I _don't_ want to marry her?''

_Have you considered that?_

A pause.

''Ritsu,'' came his mum's voice after a while, wondering about her son's behavior. The mother's voice sounded strange over the phone, like all the sharp points and edges about the concern parent was gone. ''What do you not like about An chan?'' she asked, not understanding what was so wrong with the arrangement. '' She's nice, has good manners, and known you since forever. A lovely young lady. What you not like about her?''

Onodera sighed through the phone, his exhaustion on the topic palpable. '' I like her, Mom.''

Sensing something deeper than that simple answer, the lady on the other side of the phone stopped probing. '' Fine. Make sure to give her something nice on white's day. She came over her specially to learn how to make your favourite bento last time.''

''Yes Mom, bye.''

Ending the call, Onodera rose unsteadily. With his head down, the editor sighed, taking a moment to simply do nothing. Leaving, his footsteps echoed in the deserted corridor. Yokozawa glanced over at Takano, who was deep in his own thoughts.

* * *

''An chan,'' called Onodera, waving his hand as he moves forward to meet his fiance. He had promised her to go on a date on 14 March a month ago- the day when the guys returns the affection of the love their received a month earlier - White day.

Coming face to face, An greets Onodera back. '' Ritsu,'' she smiled, not as wide or broad as her usual smile, just a simple smile.

Onodera reaches into his pocket. ''I got this for you,'' he said, pulling something out. A brightly flowered hair pin rested in his palm. Onodera remembered seeing her wearing a rose in her hair the day she waited for him after the New Year's eve party. So he thinks she might like this as a gift. Seeing it, An's small smile widening slightly.

''Thank you.'' Instead of breaking into squeals, An calmly took the gift in her dainty hands.

In appreciation, she admired the gift, her normally bright smile strangely toned down. Gently, Onodera tucked a piece of her hair back, and pinned the flower in place, thinking his fiancé was apparently waiting for him to put it on.

Looking up at her fiance, the petite brunette took his hand, her voice soft and kind. '' Let's go.''

Walking, Onodera asked ''What do you wanna do An chan ?'' , seemingly going to nowhere.

''Anything,'' said the fiance, surprising the young man. Normally, the petite brunette would always have something to do in mind. Albeit what the two brunettes always do was shop, eat and walk around- there was usual an order to it. '' I just want to spend time with you. What do you want to do Ricchan ?''

''Erm… maybe just walk around?''

An nodded her head. ''Okay.''

Stopping halfway at a bubble tea shop, Onodera paid for their drinks. The two of them were strolling around town. After walking aimlessly, they wandered into the fashion district.

''Ricchan,'' said An, stopping suddenly. Pointing to a dress on display, she asked '' Isn't that dress nice ?''

''It is.'' Onodera agreed. ''Do you want me to get it for you? ''

''It's okay, Ricchan,'' said An, turning down the offer. ''I have enough dresses. You bought me enough things anyways.''

'_That's strange_,' thought Onodera, thinking about her answer. She would never pass on the opportunity to have more clothes. While walking halfway, they were suddenly stopped by a sales assistant.

''Excuse me sir, we're having a promotion now for White day chocolate,'' said the assistant merrily. They were most likely trying to sell off as much chocolate to generate as much sales as possible before the day ends. '' They're made with White wine, would you like to try some? ''

''Oh that would be- hey! An chan-'' Onodera was being dragged away by his fiancé, who had a surprising amount of strength.

''Let's go Ricchan,''

''Don't you want to try the chocolates ?'' asked the editor, slightly confused. ''It's for White's day.''

_Maybe I should have gotten them instead_

''It's okay Ricchan,'' An said, turning around. Her eyes carried a hint of sadness in them. ''I don't want them,'' she said quietly. ''How about we watch a movie? '' the lady suggested suddenly, spotting a cinema.

''Sure,'' said the young man slowly, thinking about how odd things were.

* * *

In the darkened hall, Onodera glanced inquisitively at the brunette beside him. She was in her seat, digging into their shared popcorn, eyes fixed on the screen, waiting for the commercials to end. Normally, she would be laughing about how lame the advertisements before the screening were to Onodera, but instead, she was quietly watching them.

Sensing a pair of green eyes on her, An turned her own brown coloured eyes at him. '' Anything wrong Ricchan ? ''

''Nothing,'' said the editor, wondering if there was.

Afterwards, the two wandered into a quiet park, surrounded by the peaceful silence in the night.

''An chan,'' said Onodera, unable to ignore her strange behaviour anymore. '' Is something wrong? You're a bit weird today.'' His green eyes looked at her in concern.

Stopping in her tracks, An turned and faced Onodera.

''Ricchan,'' she started, bracing herself for the words she was about to say.

_Uh Oh_

An took steps forward towards him.

_This does not sound good._

'' I'm breaking up with you.''

Onodera stared confusedly at her. Completely serious, An stared at him back, sadness lining her pretty features. ''And I'm cancelling our engagement.''

''Why ?'' asked the editor, shock and surprise at the turn of the situation. '' Did my mom tell you something?''

''Ricchan.'' Taking Onodera face into her hands, An whispered his name. '' I love you, so I'm giving up on our engagement.'' said the young lady, thinking about to her fiancé's first love. '' We don't belong together.''

''Is this because of Takano san? '' asked Onodera.

''No Ricchan,'' said his fiancé. ''This is about you. ''

''About me? '' Standing in silence, Onodera let her words sink in. This couldn't be right. This couldn't possibly be right. ''I don't love him,'' he spat, sounding more like he was trying to convince everyone else than it was a fact. '' I do not love Takano san.''

''I dare you to say, you don't feel a thing for him.''

'' I …. I..'' Struggling to form an answer, Onodera looked away; face flushing as he tries to think of something to say.

It still hurts. It still hurts when the thought of him run through his head, stabbing through his heart.

''N-not in that way,'' he managed to get out.

''You have this look in your eye when you talk about him,'' said An. '' I've never see that expression before.'' The look of unattainable longing, a bit of heartbreak and utter smitten love all thrown together. The brunette thinks back to the time the editor in chief was staring at Onodera, on his last day of work in the Maiden department. ''It's the same for him , you know. I've seen the way he looks at you.''

An takes her fiance's hand. '' I don't want to see you fight so hard anymore.'' Onodera spent 3 years in middle school telling himself that it was just a phase, and the next ten convincing himself he didn't love the raven anymore. How would he spend the next?

''Follow your heart, Ricchan.''

Love at first sight. It might just have never ended for him.

''If you don't believe in love, then how about believing in second chances?''

Onodera looks conflicted.

''Give him a chance, Ricchan.''

It's strange. The brief but unforgettable relationship echoes loudly in the background.

Tip toeing, An leans in, touching Onodera's lips with hers, giving a chaste kiss.

''Thank you for spending time with me Ricchan,''she whispered into his eat, a smile mixed with sadness and joy graced An's pretty face. Under the light, her big brown eyes glistered with withheld tears.

Bravely, An was taking her first step in saying farewell to her first love, and tasting her first sting of heartbreak.

'' I'll see you next time ,'' said An. Having said her ending words, An turned, and walked off. The distance between them expands. Slowly, tears poured down her cheek as An tried to restrain her sniffles. She turns her head slightly, almost looking back to Ritsu behind her, but stops and moved on.

By himself, Onodera lets everything sinks in.

After quite some time, the editor moves.

''Tff,'' he snorted, adamant about everything. '' There's no way I can ever be in love with him. ''Onodera scoffed.

He walks off.

* * *

Takano was on his way home from walk, when spotted Onodera. The brunette was frowning slightly, looking bothered. Occupied with his thoughts, head lowered, Onodera had almost past the editor in chief without noticing him.

Stopping at the sight of a pair of legs in front of him, Onodera glanced at who it was.

''Onodera,'' called Takano, seeing how upset he looked. ''Did something happen?'' The raven only recalled Onodera looking so upset whenever Yokazawa was around.

The editor paused, debating whether to share the news with him. Onodera sighed. '' An chan broke up with me'' he said sadly.

Takano's eyes widen. With his head still lowered, Onodera blinked rapidly, furthering giving out news ''And she's cancelling our engagement. Now would you please leave me alone , I-'' Onodera's words were cut off as Takano suddenly pulled him into a fierce hug. ''Um, Takano san.''

Surprised and unsure of how to react, Onodera held still. The raven's arms were wrapped around him. As if the hug could not get any tighter, Takano squeezed Ritsu slightly, his arms tightening around him.

''Um… Takano san...''

''I'm so glad,'' whispered Takano, his voice barely audible. With his confession left unheard, carried by the wind, Takano held on to his immerse relief.

Warmth seeped in through his clothes. Onodera, held by Takano in his warm comforting hug, gingerly reach out his arms, and place them on Takano's back .For a while, the two stood there, holding onto each other. Releasing Ritsu, Takano place his hands on his shoulders, suddenly giving out an instruction. ''Meet me here tomorrow,'' he said.

''Huh?'' Onodera exclaimed loudly, more confused than before .

''I'll text you the time later,'' said Takano, releasing his hold on Onodera and approached the apartment complex swiftly, as if the past five minutes didn't happen.

''Wait, Takano san -''

''Just meet me here tomorrow,'' ordered Takano without stopping, acting like he was still Onodera's current boss, using that commanding tone again.

Left by himself at the pavement, Onodera folded his arms and grimaced.

_And I thought he was going to comfort me._

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Finally got this chapter out. I'll be able to get more done now.

I think I've sort of lost motivation for the story though since i was so busy. And i'm running out of chapter tittles :/**_  
_**

Another thing is I'm editing some of my previous chapters, those with some mistakes in them :/ so you might updates on them

Side note: I would really like to see a drama adaption of the anime. If done well, with convincing acting and strong chemistry between the leads, I really believe it will explode with popularity all over Asia. Man, i would_ kill_ to see that happen.


	22. First romance

In the late morning, Onodera stood on the pavement which was in front of the lobby of the apartment building. As told- or should it be forced – to do by his former boss the day before.

_What is Takano san up to,_ wondered the brunette as he waited.

_Why am I even here?_

Tapping his feet against the concrete, Onodera adjusted the pair of reflective sunglasses resting on his nose bridge, hiding his eyes away. Soon, a sleek familiar black car rolled over, stopping just in front of him.

''What's with the sunglasses? '' asked Takano in slight annoyance as his own reflection narrowed his eyes back at him.

''None of your business,'' came the affront reply.

After moments of waiting, Takano realized the brunette wasn't planning to enter the car.

''Onodera , get in the car already,'' instructed the editor in chief .

''Where are we going?'' asked Onodera, refusing to do so until he knew what they were going to do. For all he know this could be a scene from a horror movie.

''Just get in.''

''Not until I know what we're going to do,'' said the brunette stubbornly.

Loudly, Takano sighed, admitting reluctantly. '' We're going to the movies.''

''The movies? '' Onodera blinked. Never mind he just watched one yesterday, the bigger point was Takano wanted to watch a _movie_. '' The movies? '' Blankly, Onodera repeated his words in wonder.

''Yes. Don't make me repeat myself.''

'' Takano san…'' the brunette started, weirded out by his former boss's answer. ''Are you alright?'' he asked in concern. Since when did the raven went out to do something fun? '' Why would you want to watch a movie out of the blue?''

''What? Can't I go out and watch a movie to have fun?''

''Ha!'' Onodera laughed. '' Since when did you do anything else for enjoyment in life other than work? ''

_Working everyone to death_

''On a date, Onodera,'' said Takano, spelling everything out for him. '' Can't you tell?''

''A date? '' said the younger man, the disbelief in his voice. Swiftly taking his sunglasses off, he looked at his former boss in disgruntlement. '' I just ended a relationship with my best friend of more than 10 years and you want me to go on a date with you?!''

In a moment of short anger, Onodera took off his sunglasses. ''Unbelievable'' said the younger man, shaking his head. Opening his mouth, the brunette was about to turn down Takano when a voice rung in his head.

_Give him a chance Ricchan_

Closing his mouth, Onodera swallowed, taking a moment to contemplate on the decision whether to go on an actual date with his first love. He looks at Takano.

''Well ?'' said the raven, impatient. '' We don't have all day you know. ''

_Give him a chance Ricchan_

Thoughts races through the brunette's mind as he considers.

''What ?'' said Takano abrasively, knowing exactly what to say to push the brunette's buttons. '' Afraid you're fall in love with me?''

''Of course not!'' denied Onodera heatedly, flustered for a moment. Quickly, the brunette puts his sunglasses back up and pull the handle and gets into the car. The moment he closed the door, the editor groaned when he realized what a sucker he was for falling for the trap.

* * *

''What are we watching? '' asked Onodera after a while when Takano started driving.

''A romantic comedy''

''You really are sick,'' said Onodera, grousing about the genre.

''It's the only good movie showing,'' argued Takano. '' And I bought the tickets already so don't complain.''

''Who's complaining,'' said Onodera, looking out the window.

Darting his honey colored eyes towards his neighbor, Takano asked '' what else did you think we're going to do?''

''I don't know,'' said the editor, remembering the drive they took on Christmas. ''Maybe a trip to somewhere.''

''Hmmm,'' considered Takano. That's not a bad suggestion at all. '' Maybe we can take a trip somewhere for a few days, when we have the weekends off.''

''Who wants to go on a trip with an animal like you?'' rebuffed Onodera strongly, frowning.

''Animal? '' grumbled Takano, confused. His lips started quirking up in dawning realization. ''Oh,'' he said, knowing Onodera was referring to a particular _activity_ in the school library. ''Oh that,'' Takano smirked, thinking about that memory. ''That must have been hard to forget.''

''Animal,'' muttered the brunette, shaking his head again as he feels the heat rushing to his face.

* * *

Probing his arm up, Onodera rested his head on his fist as he chuckles. They were sitting side by side‒ the brunette and the raven‒in the cinema, watching the movie. The editor had his sunglasses hanging by the collar of his shirt. Laughing along with the rest of the audience, Onodera adjust himself into a more comfortable position, relaxing against the seat.

Merry laughter rose once again from the brunette, who was first reluctant about the movie. As the movie goes on, Takano shifts his eyes onto the editor beside him. Sitting in the darkness, watching Ritsu enjoying himself, a small smile peeks out on Takano's face.

After the movie ended, the pair walked towards the exit with the rest of the movie goers.

''Onodera,'' said Takano, seeing that Ritsu was leaving. ''Let's have lunch together.''

''Who ever said about having lunch with you?'' said the editor, moving ahead of Takano.

''A date isn't a date without lunch,'' said Takano, catching up to him with his long legs.

'' You can have lunch with yourself,'' Onodera replied, moving towards the escalator.

''Sushi.'' No one ever said no to that.

''No thank you.'' Maybe just Onodera Ritsu. ''I'm not hungry.''

''Curry rice''

Onodera was walking down the escalator, getting away. Takano keeps up with him.

''I can't take spicy food.'' While Onodera rejects each suggestion, he unknowingly gives out a clue.

''Pasta.''

''Don't like western.''

'' Yakiniku'' Fast approaching the exit, Takano had only a few more tries to get it right.

''Too expensive.'' Ritsu wasn't the type who spends on food, Takano noticed.

''Donburi.''

'' I prefer noodles over rice, '' said the brunette. With a few more steps till Onodera exits the place, Takano thinks hard, and suddenly-

'' Ramen,'' called out the editor in chief, somehow sure that was it.

Onodera halted. The soles of his shoes squeaked loudly against the surface upon stopping. Warming up to the idea, the editor stills. It's been a while since he had a piping hot bowl of ramen, with seasoned pork and tamago …

Satisfied that he managed to get the right answer, Takano walked up to him, smiling.

''Onodera,'' asked the editor in chief, '' how about we eat ramen for lunch?''

The brunette turned slowly towards him.

'' Sounds good.''

* * *

'' Oishi ~'' said Onodera as he slurps the noodles of his meal hungrily. Digging his chopsticks into his food, the editor eats up his ramen, draining the contents of the soup. Watching him, Takano raises his eyebrows.

_And he said he wasn't hungry._

Pretty soon, Onodera had cleared the bowl clean. '' Oishi''

Before anyone could say anything, boisterous laughter erupted from a table close by. A guy and a girl, both students, were on a date. The boy had shared something funny and both of them were laughing happily over it. Onodera chews on his food, a longingly pensive look on his face as he watches them. Takano catches his expression.

* * *

''I'm going for a walk,'' said Onodera once he exited, bringing his sunglasses up. '' Thank you for the movie. Don't worry about me, I know how to go back on my own later.''

''I'll come with you,'' said Takano.

''That's not necessary,'' said Onodera, walking. '' You have to walk back here to take your car later.''

''Its fine,'' Takano follows besides him. '' I can walk,'' he said.

Strolling, the pair came a rest on the bench. As they sat, a couple holding hands walked past, giggling. Onodera watches them shortly, before catching himself. Realizing it was rude of him, he faces back to the front.

''Hey,'' said Takano. '' Are you really so bothered by the failed relationship with your fiancé?''

Onodera glances at the ground, taking his sunglasses off and folded them. He had the same expression he had on earlier. The look of deep thought and lost mixed together.

''I was hoping, that with An chan , maybe something could come out of it.'' He exhales deeply, the air escaping through.

''Why did she ended it ?'' asked Takano.

_You have this look in your eye when you talk about him_

''It just didn't work out,'' answered Onodera.

_I dare you to say, you don't feel a thing for him_

''Are you sad? ''

_Give him a chance Ricchan_

''Of course I am,'' said Onodera. '' But at least we're still friends.'' He sighs loudly. '' When will I ever have a proper relationship? ''

''When you stop running away.''

''I'm not running away.''

''Oh really? '' Takano raises his eyebrows.

''What about you and Yokazawa san ? '' shot Onodera. He might not know what going on between them but it wouldn't–couldn't– be just _fine_.

His former boss paused, thinking back to the time during the smoke break. ''I'm still working things out.''

Onodera scoffed. '' I'm working things out too,'' he said sarcastically, getting up to leave. Hastily, Takano grabbed onto Onodera's arm , gripping tightly. Onodera turned at the pull, green eyes looking at Takano, outraged. The pressure on his arm was hurting the editor. He slides his eyes over where Takano was holding on his arm, waiting for him to drop the hold.

Releasing his grip, Takano looked at the person he loves.

''It doesn't matter what happens with me and Yokozawa-'' Hearing the words, Onodera was about to turn and leave again. When Takano saw that, he held on to Onodera's hand. Gently, he moved Onodera closer to him. Facing each other, the raven took both of the brunette's hand in his own, clasping them together. Large hands cover smaller ones.

''Takano san,'' Onodera looks at him with his brilliant green eyes, not sure what was going on.

_What are you doing?_

The editor in chief continues''-He knows I love you, and that I will never stop waiting for you. He's not going to bother you anymore. I love you. However many months or years it takes, I will always be waiting for you. We're both adults now, and have a lot more freedom than when we first met-''all the while, Onodera's heart was thumping hard, the beat resonating in his chest. ''- I know being in love isn't easy. But i still want your everything. I love you Ritsu. Please go out with me.''

Onodera tries to pull his hands away, but Takano held on firmly, amber eyes drilling right into Onodera's soul which was precisely why he wore them in the first place.

He can't think like this. Onodera can't think like this. He needs to clear his head. He needs air.

_Think Onodera, think_

He looks down at the ground.

_Follow your heart Ricchan_

Takano is still there, waiting

'_If you don't believe in love, then how about believing in second chances?_

His heart beats hard against his chest.

**_Badump_ _Badump Badump_**

Onodera does feel something. As much as he hates it, as much as he denies it- it doesn't change the fact that he does feel something.

''Takano san,'' started Onodera. '' How confident are you, that you can make me love you again?''

_I'd make you say you love me again_

'' Why are you asking that? ''

''I need to know,'' said Onodera, bringing something Takano probably didn't think he would. Because he can't let his heart break the second time with this person.

Takano stills wordlessly, hesitating to give an immediate answer which normally comes which his usual arrogance and confidence.

''Well ?''

''I can do it,'' said Takano. ''I can do it.''

A moment passes. During this moment, two hearts beats loudly in their chest.

''….''

''What ?'' said Takano, hearing something soft coming out of Onodera.

''I have two criteria,'' said Onodera. ''If you can do it, I'll… I'll date you okay?''

''What do I have to do? ''

'' One-'' the brunette reaches into Takano's pocket, taking out his pack of cigarettes and proceeds to throw it into the trash bin. ''- no more smoking.'' He always hated the smell of smoke. Then the editor held up his fingers up into a V-sign. ''Two-''he continues,'' - you follow my pace. We go _slow_'' Takano's an animal, even during high school. Onodera remembers how he got his first kiss and how he lost his virginity happened all in one day.

Takano looks at the editor. '' That's all?''

''That's all,'' confirms the brunette. '' I'll go out with you,'' Onodera says at last.

Immediately, Takano grabs him in for an embrace .

''I'm so happy. I love you,'' he said.

Onodera wish he would stop saying that already. Feeling the heat rushing to his face, the brown haired male blushed.

Takano held on until he finally released his hold and the editor finally makes his way home.

As Takano watches his neighbour leaves, he smiles..

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His second spring is coming.

* * *

**Author's notes:** **I think I'm running out of steam.**

** I won't be adding notes for further chapters. I'm starting to believe it spoils the experience.**

**Shoutout to SaySaeri- thanks for always leaving something nice. I always like reading what you guys left in the reviews, especially you ! :D**

**Cheers to the upcoming winter issue of Emerald !**


	23. Season of new beginnings

Standing outside the department of literature of Marukawa shouten, the black haired editor in chief of girl's comics in Maiden department was waiting outside the department door.

''Excuse me,'' a staff walked up to him, ''is there someone you're looking for? '' asked the worker cautiously. Word about the demon editor had first spread when he managed to pulled the bleeding department out of the pits. From then on, the different editing department has heard snips and bits about the way he worked towards getting the job done.

''I'm just waiting for Onodera Ritsu to come out,'' said Takano plainly with an impatient edge. He's been standing there waiting to be noticed by a particular _someone_ for over 5 minutes.

''Ricchan !,'' called the co-worker, voice carrying a hint of fear. '' There's someone waiting for you.'' The demon editor was probably here to tear his ex-subordinate to pieces over some work he did when he was still in shoujo manga.

Curiously, the brunet walked towards the front of the door, wondering who could be waiting for him. Passing his co-worker, the brown haired male noticed the tensed look of fear and how scared he looked.

''Takano san,'' Onodera was surprised to see him. '' What are you doing here?''

''Waiting for you.''

''For what ?''

''To have lunch together.''

Big green eyes looking conflicted, Onodera blinked uncertainly. '' I'm not done with my work yet.'' It wasn't necessary to wait for him.

'' How much longer will it take ?''

''Onodera.'' called Hitomi, the head editor for literature department. ''It's okay, you can settle your matters first, it's lunch time now anyways.''

''But-''

''It's okay,'' insisted the head editor, afraid of the wrath of the other editor in chief. Rumour has it, the raven has abit of a temper, which was why everybody assume he got along with Yokozawa. The infamous shouting match between him and the sales manager was well known, so was the fact that they got all buddy-buddy afterwards.

''Okay...''said the brunette, suddenly noticing everyone in the office had their head down. Going along with the plan reluctantly, Onodera tidied his desk, grabbed his wallet, and headed towards the exit with Takano waiting for him.

'' Why are you waiting for me,'' asked the editor, walking together with his former boss down the hallway.

''So we can have lunch together,'' repeated Takano, pressing for the elevator.

Onodera made a face. ''Why do you want to have lunch together? '''

''What's so bad about having lunch together?

''Nothing,'' answered Onodera. The elevator arrives with a ding, doors sliding with timed precision. '' I just don't want to trouble you to wait, that's all.'' He never thought Takano would ever want to have lunch together at work.

Riding the lift down, Takano brought up a question. '' By the way, when's your birthday?'' Hopefully, it's not over yet.

''March 27 ''

''Marimo Day ? '' asked Takano, perplexed. '' Seriously ?''

''Huh,what's that ?'

''Never mind,'' said Takano, '' So it's next week. What do you wanna do ?''

'' I don't know,'' said Onodera. The lift slowed to a stop. '' I don't have any plans for it.''

''We're have a party at least.''

''Takano san,'' said Onodera, the corners of his mouth quirking up, couldn't help being amused at the idea. The image of colourful cakes, balloons and party hats popped up. '' That really isn't necessary. Parties are for kids. ''

''Then what do you wanna do ?'' asked the raven as they headed out of the company building. With the surroundings coming into view, the scene of trees lined with cherry blossoms waiting to bloom greeted them.

A thought occurred in his head upon seeing the trees. ''Can we-'' spoke Onodera softly, '' -go cherry blossom viewing?''

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* * *

Across Tokyo, and around the country, flowers from cherry blossom trees lining the streets and parks of Japan bloomed spectacularly. Beautiful pink flowers opened and dotted the blue sky with shades of pink, surrounding the crowd.

It was the period for Hanami, or flower viewing, occurring annually during the season of spring- the season of cherry blossom. Walking side by side together, Onodera and Takano were among the big crowd strolling through the Ueno park on a Saturday weekend.

''There's so many people,'' remarked Onodera, among the pool of visitors. Families, friends and anyone who had time were going to parks around the country for flower viewing. Ueno Park was a popular place in central Tokyo during this time of the year.

''There's always a crowd on the weekends,'' said Takano.

''I didn't expect such a big crowd through.''

'' You've never gone flower viewing before?'' asked the raven, surprised.

''Once,'' said Onodera. '' When i was about four or five.'' The brunette directs the question back at him. '' Have you been to flower viewing before?''

''No,'' said Takano. '' Don't like squeezing with the crowd. I had no reason or time to go anyways.''

''Honk!... Honk!'' An oncoming car was driving into the wide lane of the road, blocking the path. Previously filled with visitors, half of the road was now occupied with the car, forcing flower viewing goers to move into the side.

''Hey… Urgh!...'' Slowly, the crowd of people pushed inwards, making way for the vehicle. Onodera quickly shuffled in, before turning in sideways to make more space. Then suddenly, an influx of people began rushing in. Trapped, he spun around in the limited space, stumbling clumsily into the person next to him- Takano Masamune.

Strong arms held on to Onodera as he was squeezed against the editor in chief, pushing them together. More pushing surged as the car slows, moving slowly as the people at the front just started to give way. Trying to gain balance, the younger male placed his hands on Takano's shoulders. The car continues to drive up slowly. Pressed up against the raven, the loud beating of his speeding heart fought with the shrill honk of the car in the brunette's ears.

Gradually, the crowd dispersed, making space available. Lifting his eyes up, Onodera's green ones met Takano's honey coloured eyes, staring right back at him intensely.

For a few moments, they stood there, holding on to each other.

''... ...Ahem….'' Realising the editor in chief still had his arms around him, Onodera quickly cleared his throat loudly. Avoiding Takano's intent gaze, the brunettes carefully detaches himself from the hold, cheeks flushing with fiery hotness.

'' Let'go.''

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* * *

Sitting on the mat, the two editors leaned against each other's back.

_Even though sitting like this is kinda unusual, but it's sort of comfortable, _thought the brunette, smiling slightly to himself. There was something comforting about being able to talk, without having to face the anxiety of seeing him face to face. Looking up; he admired the beautiful pink flowers hanging above him.

''Beautiful, isn't is ? '' said Takano from behind suddenly.

''Ah? Ah yes,'' said Onodera who was distracted by the flowers. Then, he turned sideways to glance at the raven before looking up again. '' The cherry blossoms are really pretty,'' he said softly.

''And one more thing,'' Takano spoke up again. ''It looks like I got it wrong- 27th March isn't marimo day, it's Cherry Blossom day.''

''Oh,'' said Onodera, feeling oddly nervous. '' I see.''

Somehow, hearing the words from Takano, made his birthday sounded very different. It made Onodera felt different too. Special.

''And even though we're surrounded by people, had to squeezed with everyone, and have to walk for 20 minutes to find a spot-'' Onodera made an unhappy expression at that point. At least their faces were away from each other. Takano continued, ''- I'm still really happy I get to spend the day with you. ''

With their backs against each other, hidden from Onodera's sight, Takano smiled at the thought of being able to celebrate his birthday with him. Lazily, he leaned against the birthday boy, putting his weight on him.

''Ahhhh….'' Takano sighed lazily as he lifted his amber eyes to the sky, his view filled with pink cherry blossoms. The cover of the tree top shaded them from the heat and light. '' This sure is a great day,'' he remarked.

Hunched over from the weight of Takano, Onodera's cheeks redden slightly, thinking of the same thing.

After a short moment of comfortable silence, Takano brought up another question.

''But then, what made you want to go Cherry blossom viewing?''

''I just…'' started Onodera nervously, '' …..I just thought it would be nice to do this with you…'' he said, giving his simple and plain reason.

Shifting his green eyes downwards, he brought his attention towards the ground, missing out that Takano was starting to lean in sideways, trying to kiss him on the cheek. Onodera looked around- and sprang upwards like he was on a trampoline.

''Let's take a walk around,'' he forced his words out hastily before Takano could do anything, green eyes wide with alert.

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* * *

_Maybe I shouldn't have suggested that_, though Onodera gloomily as the always-occurring awkward silence between them happened once again. Takano was walking with his hands in his pockets, carrying his default expressionless face.

_But then, _thinks Onodera,_ there wasn't anything else I could say._

_What the heck, it's my birthday._

So Onodera walked quietly with Takano, taking in slowly the sights around him. The flowers were so light it looked like the tree was covered with snow. Crossing a bridge, Onodera saw visitors on blue boats rowing in the river. The spring season gave a romantic backdrop to them.

_If Takano and I got on the boat, it will probably be just awkward silence all the way. Stuck in a boat. _

_But, it seems fun, _he thought

''Onodera,'' called Takano. The raven was standing a distance away, waiting for him. The brunette didn't even realised he had paused to take a look. Walking over, Takano stood beside him and looked at what Onodera was watching.

'' Do you want to do that?'' asked Takano, giving Ritsu a shock at his suggestion.

''Ahahaha, no thanks,'' the editor laughed drily, shaking his hands. _Either one of us would jump_ _from the boat due to the complete silence if that happens. _

''It seems fun,'' said Takano, looking at them.

Hearing that, Onodera gave a surprised look.

'' Maybe next time,'' he said.

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* * *

After crossing the bridge and passing a temple, and a shrine, the two of them were still walking. They were in the deeper part of the park, so there were fewer people.

''Aren't you tired yet?'' complained Takano, legs aching from all the walking.

''Yes,'' admitted the editor. ''But you have longer legs then me so don't complain,'' said Onodera, feeling sore himself.

'' Whatever. I'm taking a break first,'' said Takano, sitting down onto a stone bench. '' We still have to walk back from here,'' he said as Onodera settled down beside him.

''I know. I know.''

Silently, the raven gathered his thoughts.

''I had fun,'' he said. ''I didn't really think going cherry blossom viewing would be a good way to celebrate your birthday, but seeing how you much you enjoyed coming here, I'm glad we did- '' Pausing for abit, Takano continued '' - I didn't expect myself to enjoy it so much either, but I guess so long as we're together, anything's fine.''

Turning around, Takano started sharing some info he overheard from some of the other flower viewers, '' I heard if we stay till night, the cherry blossoms will lit up….'' But the seat beside him was empty. Onodera was already standing a distance away. Too busy being distracted; the younger male was admiring the cherry blossoms once again. Under a low branch, the brunette was trying to get a close up view as possible of the delicate flowers. Mother Nature sure is beautiful.

And Ritsu probably didn't hear any of the stuff he said.

_That idiot_

Takano smiled to himself. He got up and walked over to where the brunette was standing.

''This is actually…. Pretty romantic,'' admitted Onodera reluctantly, eyes drawn to his surroundings as he looked around in admiration. Surrounded by the pink sakura, it felt like they were in a scene from shoujo manga.

It indeed was. It might also be the only chance Takano can get under such a setting.

Under the cherry blossom trees, Takano place his hands on either side of Ritsu's face and tilted his head, giving the brunet a kiss under the pink flowers.

_~Chu~_

_._

_._

_._

* * *

''Thank you for coming with me today,'' said Onodera. They were back at their apartment complex now.

''Wait, I have something to give you.'' Takano went into his apartment and came out, carrying a bag in his hands. ''For you,'' he said as he passed the bag to Ritsu.

''Oh,'' said Onodera, surprised. '' Thank you.''

''I'm really glad I get to spend the day with you,'' said the editor in chief honestly after Ritsu took the gift.

Onodera gave a small smile. _I guess I'm glad to spend the day with you too._

''Happy birthday,'' wished Takano. As quiet as a mouse, he leaned in slowly, pressing his lips onto Ritsu's forehead in a slow, soft kiss. The brunette stood still, eyes widening as the kiss happened. He stood there, even after the contact ended, even after Takano went back in. Warmth spread throughout his body, numbing him down to his fingertips.


	24. Sparks in the dark

The smell of crackers and sweets wafted around them. Girls and boys dressed in colourful yukatas were walking around. Takano and Onodera were at a festival, both somehow managed to find time despite their busy schedules. They were on another date together.

Straight after work, Takano drove them down to the area. It was still early but the crowd was already starting to fill in. Strangers walked back and forth, passing by them.

''It's still early,'' said Takano. '' But events like this are always filled with people later.''

'' I see.''

''I suppose we could walk around a bit first to get familiar with the place.''

''Is this just a straight road ?'' asked Onodera, confused. '' There's only up or down.''

'' It's easy to get lost later,'' said Takano. '' When there's a lot of people.''

''Do you want to hold hands?'' asked Takano suddenly.

Quickly, his date rejected the suggestion. '' No! '' The brunette fumbled, embarrassed at the idea. What if someone sees them?

''If you don't want to hold hands, then stick close to me.'' Takano directed his gaze on his date. '' Don't wander off.''

''I'm sure I can take care of myself Takano san,'' huffed Onodera. Out of the corner of his eyes, the editor caught the sight of red glossy round globs on sticks.

''Candy apple !'' he exclaimed, eyes lighting up.

''You like this type of things?'' asked Takano

''Eh?'' said the brunet. '' No, I mean this is the first time I've actually seen if for myself at a festival. My parents wouldn't let me eat them when I was young.''

The memory of something Onodera had mention during their teenage years rose in his mind.

_My parents don't like this kind of things_

Hearing that, Takano went to the stall and took a stick, paying for it.

'' Here,'' he said, giving it to Onodera.

''Oh,'' Unknowingly, the editors' green eyes widen in surprise. It was nice of Takano to get it for him. The shiny red apple did looked really tasty.

_Crunch_

The sound of teeth crushing into hard candy could be heard as Takano bite into the snack, taking a good chunk of it.

''Takano san! '' yelled Onodera unhappily. '' What are you doing eating someone else's food, how can you bite into my apple like that ?! ''

''I paid for it,'' he answered off handedly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. '' Haven't you heard of sharing, my pampered prince?''

Onodera glares at him, blushing.

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* * *

_I wonder if Takano san has a yukata_

Onodera wondered as a guy wearing the tradition costume walked past. There was getting more people now. Eyes fixed on the costume, the editor takes in the quality of the material, the colour of the fabric. Intently, he studies the Japanese pattern on the cloth.

_I wonder,_

He fixes his eyes on his neighbour beside him. The good looking male was attracting glances and shy giggles from ladies walking by.

_How would Takano san look like in a yukata_

Slowly, they move through the crowd with the brunette thinking of the answer.

_The son of a richman? A nobleman ? Or a cold samurai?_

'' What is it,'' asked the editor in chief suddenly. '' You've been staring at me for a while now.''

Caught, Onodera looked away immediately, turning red as he tilt his head forward.

''Umm… it's nothing,'' Heat rushed to his face.'' I was just wondering how you would look like in a yukata.''

Takano looked surprised.

Dryly, Onodera laughed to cover up for his nervousness. When the self-consciousness eased, he mentions something else quietly.

''I bet you would really nice in one.'' He said shyly, casting his eyes downwards with a smile.

Takano approached- leaning in like last time with his eyes close. Surely, Ritsu understands what he was trying to do right? Suddenly, the raven felt something sticky hit his lips.

''Here,'' said Onodera, using his candied apple as a barrier between them. With a nervous smile, he offered the candied apple in an attempt to block the raven off.'' Have some more.''

Takano looked ticked off.

Hurriedly, the editor pointed his finger into the direction of the game stalls, freaking out again.

''Let's check out the games,'' he said, already pulling towards the direction, fast on his feet.

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* * *

No proper festival would go without games. And in the Japanese culture, there was game in festivals called kingyo sukui, or goldfish scooping. Kids were crowding around the pool of water, waving their nets in the water. Companying beside them, were their parents, trying their best to catch one of the small fishes with the paper net.

'' That one,'' said Takano, referring to the goldfish scooping. ''Let's play that one.''

Onodera widens his eyes. '' Takano san,'' he protested violently.'' That one is for kids to play. Wouldn't it be weird for us to be there?''

''What,'' said the raven, amber eyes carrying a challenging gaze. '' Don't think you're up for it? '' he challenged, voice laced with contempt.

_This guy_

Fuming, Onodera grabbed the stall keeper's hand and determinedly slapped a 5 yen note onto it.

''You're on.''

Behaving like children, the two adults joined the kids and were trying their best to catch the little goldfishes in the pool. In less than 5 tries, Takano broke his net.

''Mama! Why are the two onee san playing as well? '' asked a four year old, tugging the sleeves of her mom's shirt.

''Shhh,'' replied her mom, shushing her daughter. '' Don't bother them,'' she said, failing to understand why as well.

After a few more 5 yen note were paid, one of them made progress. ''Got one,' said the raven. Miraculously, a goldfish was trapped in his paper net. However, it dropped back into the water when he lifted the net out of it.

''Ha,'' said Onodera, gloating for a moment until his net broke as well. In turn, Takano echoed the brunet's laugh. Seriously, they tried to accomplish the task, earning them looks from neighbouring parents. Their competitive edge was scaring them away.

Together, the two editors quietly sat there, playing the game.

''Umm…'' started Onodera, breaking the silence between them. '' why did you want to play this game anyways ?''

'' It looked fun,'' answered Takano, watching the small fishes swimming away, wiggling their tail. Their brightly colored bodies shimmering under the available light. Behind them, his net followed. '' I remember hearing about these games when I was little. Everyone would say how much fun they hard while trying to catch the fishes. And a few would even managed to catch them. It sounded fun and I would like to try. But parents were always so busy with their work, they never had the time. We never went to any one of these festivals as a family.''

''Oh,'' said Onodera, not knowing what else to say.

_That's right,_ the younger male recalled

_Takano san said that he was basically living by himself back then. And on strict terms, it would be since middle school._

Momentarily, the brown haired male forgot about the game, thinking of the person beside him instead. Takano way back then as Saga didn't had a good relationship with his parents. The brunet remembered that they were always away, and the house was always just empty with the high shcool student alone. In the library he was always alone.

_It must hadn't been easy._

Then Onodera realised. Back then in high school, the brunette was the only one there for him.

But even he left .

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* * *

''Hey,'' called Takano, '' are you still angry that you didn't catch any of the fishes? '' he asked to a very disgruntled looking Ritsu. '' They don't last very long anyways.''

Onodera tuned away from him and huffed.

'' Aren't you hungry? '' Takano asked.

The younger male unfolded his arms. '' A little.''

''Well, goodluck cause they're nothing to eat here,'' said Takano.

''Takano san,'' exclaimed Onodera, gesturing to all the food stalls. '' Aren't these all food?''

''I suppose I could do with snacks for today.'' The raven adds one for line. '' Oh, and by the way, we're sharing.''

''What happen to your money ?'' asked the brunette incredulously .

''I spend it on the candied apple and the goldfish scooping game. ''

* * *

''I heard there's fireworks'' said Takano, poking his stick into the soft flesh of his takoyaki ball. They were sharing food, Onodera grudgingly so.

''When ?''

''I'm not too sure. But we're know when a crowd starts gathering when it starts.''

Suddenly, a sharp gasp came from Onodera whose eyes were as big as saucers. In a hurry, he rushed to the front of a stall where an elderly old man was tending to. Several people were queuing up the store. Quickly, the editor joined in as well, excited.

Standing by the side, Takano watches his date line up to his turn. He realises something.

''_Good evening Sir! What do you wish to order?''_

This isn't his second chance.

''_Ah, I would like…''_

It's_ theirs_.

* * *

Coming back from the stall, Onodera was looking happy. ''Dorayaki,'' he said brightly, munching on the confection with a smile. '' Takano san, do you want one ?''

''I guess I'll take one,'' said the editor in chief, eyeing the colourful fillings of the snack .'' Why did you buy so many? '' he asked curiously, thinking back to the brunet's joy upon seeing them. His date had bought all four different flavours of red bean, green tea, chocolate and sweet.

''I like to eat dorayaki,'' said his date before taking another bite, chewing happily in content. ''They're my favorite. ''

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* * *

After playing a few games and buying some food, the two of them went around the festival doing the same things all over again as the night darkens. By some point, the festival was filled with people. Families, friends, people in traditional costumes, people in casual attire and, couples. It was getting rowdy. The festive mood growing heavy.

_As usual_, thought Onodera

_There's always a fun atmosphere in Japan's festival._

''Onodera,'' called Takano. '' How's literature going ?''

''Hmm ?'' said the younger male, absorbed in his taking in the sights and sounds answered, '' oh, it's great.'' And then further elaborated, '' I'm in charge of a new author. She's a promising writer but sometimes lack confidence with herself.''

''Sounds like Mutou sensei''

''She does remind me of her,'' said the editor, nostalgic about the time he helped her with editing. The brunet appreciated the encouragements she gave him, and strangely, Onodera did missed helping her out with editing.

''Um… are the rest doing ?''

''Same old same old,'' answered Takano. '' I suppose there's more work for all of us now, but it's nothing we can't handle.''

''There's no plans for a new hire?'' asked Onodera in surprise. It was getting abit squeeze in the crowd.

''Isaka san thinks we're doing fine so I guess no.''

''Takano san, why did you become a manga editor?'' asked Onodera. He never would have thought the raven would've become a manga editor. So the editor really did want to know the answer, not matter whether it was long or short.

'' I was abit directionless back then, after graduating. It took me while to get out of my funk, but I realised I didn't want to keep screwing things up anymore. I like reading but I didn't want to be an editor. Yokozawa and I joked about how manga are more widely read than textbooks among students and the idea of being a manga editor came up. But then I thought 'why not?' ''

Takano carried on talking, going with flow of the crowd.

''It's a tough job, but I suppose it's fun. I was expecting you to transfer after a few weeks but then you stick to it.'' Then Takano noticed something. He was alone.

''Onodera'' he called, turning around. Strangers around him. ''Onodera,'' he called out louder this time.

No reply. Just noise around him.

The editor in chief took out his phone, dialling the brunet's number. After moments of waiting for the call to pick up, it went unanswered. A few more tries yield the same result.

Irrational panic floods Takano. A similar situation occurred ten years ago. When Ritsu disappeared suddenly without a word, leaving no trail behind. Takano searched through the crowd, heart beating increasing along with anxiety and fear.

_Where are you, damn it._

His heart beat worriedly as bleak thoughts of Onodera Ritsu dumping him- leaving him- again, raced in his head.

_You'll find him, you'll find him_

Frantically, Takano went around the crowd, looking for the one person he couldn't lose- again.

Would he? Or he go back to find that his neighbour had evacuated his apartment? Was that why he agreed to date him? So he could have one date and then dump him? He could never find him in this crowd of nameless people, and who knows how long Onodera had gone.

A sick emotion rose through the raven. Persistently, Takano tried calling the number, running his fingers speedily over the keyboard.

''Takano san.''

Onodera stood in front of him. Concern and confusion showing in his green eyes. '' What are you doing ?''

Takano closed his phone, staring at the brunet. Seeing that Takano was holding his phone, Onodera opened his own, thinking that the raven was probably calling him.

_5 missed calls- Takano san_

Onodera eyes got wider with shock.

Walking up Ritsu, Takano throws his arms around him, enveloping him in a fierce hug.

''Umm Takano-''

''Where did you go?'' asked the raven, his voice dropped to a whisper. Half forlorn and half angry. Hugging the person he loves closer to him, Takano laid his head on the brunette's. Uncomfortably, Onodera tried to untangle himself from Takano.

''I saw an old lady having trouble with her bags, so I went off to help her. '' Onodera looked around, blushing. '' Umm Takano san, could you please let me go, people are staring at us.'' The two guys hugging in the middle of the road were earning curious glances from onlookers.

Instead of letting go, Takano wrapped his arms around him more, feeling the warmth of Ritsu radiating through him.

''Um…'' In a futile attempt, Onodera tried getting out of the hug, but the raven had an iron hold over him. Knowing that it was useless to fight, the brown haired male stop struggling and stood there, letting Takano hug him. Around them, people pass and go. Noise surround them, but two editors were isolated in their own world.

Finally feeling start of release, the brunet was about to form a question when he felt the raven's lips touching his own in a quick, stealthily kiss.

_Chu_

Takano took Ritsu's hand and laced his fingers through them, curling around them. He proceeds off, dragging Onodera along with him.

''Takano san,'' the editor snapped, ''I'm not a child. We really don't have to hold hands.''

While Onodera waits for him to let go, Takano stared at the ground. Wordlessly, he started pulling them through the crowd once more.

''I'm not risking losing you again.''

* * *

''Why didn't you pick up your phone ?'' asked Takano.

''I didn't feel it vibrating.'' Upon seeing how distraught Takano was, the brown haired male apologised. '' Sorry if I made you worried.''

''Have did you manage to find me ?'' the raven asked after he calmed down.

'' You were just there,'' answered Onodera, slightly confused. It was pretty straightforward about 'how'.

''What do you mean ?'' Takano turns back and asked.

''You were just standing there.'' Onodera explained, sounding dumbfounded at Takano's question. '' I saw you and walked over. How else could I find you ?''

''Among the crowd?''

''Yea,'' said Onodera.

More than six months ago, Onodera Ritsu couldn't even recall his first love. Now, the raven is the only face he sees in a crowd.

.

.

.

* * *

For the rest of the night, the two editors held hand.

''A crowd is forming over by the riverside. I think the fireworks are starting,'' said Takano. Excitedly, Onodera pulled towards that direction.

Joining the others who were waiting, Takano and Onodera waited with them.

''Onodera,'' spoke Takano, his usual stoic expression on. '' Don't ever disappear like that.''

Glancing over at him, the younger male agreed.'' Okay,'' he said softly. '' I won't.''

Then Takano released his hand. Ritsu was just beside him.

Suddenly, the sky brightened with an explosive crackle. Fireworks exploded into the night sky. The crowd 'oohs' and 'wows'.

'' So pretty,'' said the brunet, watching the fireworks.

'' Uh huh,'' replied Takano.

Surrounded by people, they watched along, enjoying the festival. In the dark, fingers of the two editors brushed against each others, their own spark in the dark.


	25. How I met your mother

Onodera fought a yawn, feeling the weight of his exhaustion sinking in. It was midway through the editing cycle in the literature department, where there was a lot of things due at once.

On his way out of the company office, it was lunch time again. Walking halfway, the editor was on his way to meet Takano for lunch when he felt his back pocket vibrating. He slides his phone out and checks the caller.

_Mom Calling_

Wondering what his mom could be calling about, Onodera answered his phone with a puzzled look.

'' Hello Mom? '' said the heir to the family business. _What could she be calling about ?_

''Ritsu, it's your lunch time now, right?''

''Yes Mom, is anything the matter? '' asked Onodera curiously.

''Oh good,'' replied his parent in relief. '' I thought you were still working. Ritsu, I need to meet you.''

''Now ? '' asked the brunet in distress. He was supposed to have lunch with Takano.

''Of course now.''

''But I-''

''It's important,'' said Mama Onodera urgently, all serious and businesslike.

''Umm… I suppose I could I meet you now, '' said Ritsu hesitantly._ Takano would understand if it's for important family matters._

'' Good'' said his mom. '' I'm already outside Marukawa waiting. See you soon, son.'' With that, the wife of the current head of Onodera publishing hanged up on the call. Dismay contoured the brunet's features at the sudden and unexpected plan.

_I wonder what urgent news Mom has to tell me_

Opening his messaging box, he was halfway through the text when a co-worker called him.

_Takano san, I can't have-_

''Onodera !'' called Genki, a fellow literature editor, rushing to somewhere else with a stack of paper in hand. '' Sorry to bother you, but could you please make some copies of this before you leave? It's for the meeting later, 'begged his colleague pressingly.

''_Hai!_'' said Onodera, agreeing to do the task immediately, Genki san seem to experiencing the familiar distressing situation of rushing ,panicking and trying to maintain a distance sense of control - something frequently seen among the Maiden Club.

''Thanks for the hard work.''

Off to the printers, the brunet forgot about his text.

Once again, Takano Masamune found himself waiting outside the literature department, waiting. This time- it's almost ten minutes- and the brunet still hadn't come out.

''Excuse me,'' he said to a staff entering. '' Is Onodera in ?''

''Oh, Onodera left a while ago,'' said the worker. Shortly after saying the words, the literature staff was starting to look at the editor in chief warily. The raven was knitting his eyebrows crossly, the corners of his mouth punched downwards into a frown. Practically, the staff could feel the heat of a glare forming through the black rimmed spectacles.

''I see. Thank you,'' said Takano curtly. Turning to leave, he grimaced at Ritsu skipping out on him.

_I told him we were having lunch today_.

''Damn it,'' cursed Takano as his call didn't went through. Then, he took the lift down, intending to find the brunet.

...

* * *

''Mom,'' greeted Onodera, rushing out to see his mother. '' What did you want to meet me for?'' Green eyes landed on his mother, who stood with her back turned. Slowly, she spun around with her arms folded, dressed in a black pencil skirt and casual blouse.

Identical green eyes lock on his as the straight line of his mother's mouth bloomed into a smile. ''To have lunch together,'' said Mama Onodera.

''Ha?! '' asked the heir, flabbergasted at the answer. '' I thought it was something important!''

''It is important,'' stressed his mom. '' Ritsu, you haven't gone back to visit ever since New Year 's Eve! I haven't seen you in nearly six months. I shouldn't even need to drop by to see my own son. You're already an adult. ''

''I'm sorry,'' said Ritsu, looking apologetic, '' It's just that I'm busy with work.''

''You're always busy with work, Ritsu,'' said his mom, sounding like it was his fault. Green eyes of a parent chastised those of her son's. ''That's not an excuse not to visit us, or even call. How can you manage the company next time like this? ''

''Mom,'' said Onodera, starting to feel a sour mix of guilt and annoyance. '' I'm sorry that I didn't visit but I'm trying as hard as I can. Do you have anything else to say? If not, I'm going back to work.''

''Ritsu,''Mama Onodera sounded disappointed. ''I came all the way here to see you. Can't I have a meal with my own son? ''

Onodera dropped his head, trying hard not to sigh. It's true that he hasn't gone back in a while.

''Right,'' said the brunet, reflecting on himself. Mustering a smile, the heir smiled at his parent. '' I suppose I have time to eat with my own mom.''

''Of course you do, Ritsu'' chastised Mama Onodera, putting her hands on his face like he was a long lost son. ''Now let me take a good look at you.''

* * *

Hastily, Takano Masamue exited the lift. Irritation scribbled all over his fair face. Annoyed with Ritsu, he took long quick strides across the hallway. Nearing the exit, his eyes spotted a familiar figure outside the building. And someone else. A lady with tanned blond hair was placing her hands on both sides of Ritsu's face, patting his cheeks tenderly, before putting her arms around him, hugging the brunet.

Heat rushed through the raven's body. Approaching them, Takano called his name in a loud raised voice, hell bent on finding out what was going on.

''Onodera!''

At the moment the word left his mouth, Takano halted.

Twin emerald eyes turned, looking at the source of the voice, reflecting their full attention at the name. Instantly, the editor in chief stopped in his tracks, eyes widening at the resemblance. Anyone with their eyes opened could tell who the lady was.

''Takano san,'' said Onodera, surprised at his appearance. He had completely forgotten to call him. Awkwardly, he glances between his mom and his former boss, and starts introducing the raven. ''Mom, this is Takano san. He was my boss when I was under shoujo manga. '' He turns toward the raven. ''Takano san, this is my mother. Mrs Onodera.''

''Good afternoon,'' Mama Onodera greeted politely, extending a hand out. Intelligent green eyes meet startled amber ones of the editor in chief. '' Thank you for looking after my son.'' She said appreciatively. Takano, who had recovered from the initial shock of seeing double vision, returned to his calm and composed impassive exterior again.

''Good afternoon,'' he said courteously, shaking her hand. '' It's a pleasure to meet you.''

The business women gave a pleasant smile.

Ritsu's smile was sweet, bright and always carried a hint of shyness, Mrs Onodera was different. Sharp. Polite. Almost fierce. Ritsu had the same heart shaped face as her, and the same expressive green eyes. While Mrs Onodera was more feminine- Ristu was softer. If Ritsu was Puss in boots, his mom would be a wild cat. On a different face, the same pair of emerald eyes looked remarkably sharp.

'' Do you mind if I talk to my son?'' asked Mama Onodera. Her short bob framed her pretty face, hair shades lighter than her son's; features like a former beauty queen.

''Of course, please go ahead,'' said Takano bowing forward. Onodera glanced uncertainly again between his neighbour and his mother as Mama Onodera smiled.

''It was nice to meet you, Takano san. Have a good day,'' she said. As Takano walked away, Mama Onodera proceeds to loop an arm through her son's, linking them together.

''_Mom.''_

…_._

* * *

''How are you doing Ritsu ?'' asked his mother at the table. They were having a meal together in a nearby restaurant.

''I'm doing fine,'' said the editor. _I guess._

'' Are your authors selling well?'' inquired Mama Onodera.

''They're doing fine.''

''Are you sleeping well ?''

''Um… yeah….'' The brunet tried to lie a smoothly as possible.

''Are you eating well?''

''I'm eating… well.'' If you consider energy drinks and convenient food as ''well''. Onodera stalled, knowing that he can't lie. The knife and fork in his hands seemed to be sliding off from the intensity of the questions.

''Ritsu, '' his mom started. '' I want to see your apartment. I don't think with either me or your Dad has seen it.''

The young man nearly chocked on his salmon. '' That' won't be necessary,'' laughed Onodera nervously. '' I'm a grown man. You don't need to check up on me. Besides, there's nothing there.'' Except for the pile of growing garbage and unwashed clothes thrown in a corner.

''Ritsu,'' warned his Mom in a sharp tone, sensing something wrong. '' You're nothing hiding anything are you ?''

''Of course not!'' spluttered the heir. ''I fine,'' insisted the editor stubbornly, gripping onto his utensils. '' I am !''

''You're not eating those rubbish packed convenient store food, are you?''

''Erm….''

''Are you?''

''...''

''Ritsu! '' Mama Onodera stared at her son disapprovingly, taking a moment to inspect the child she raised. Dark circles underlined his eyes and he seemed to have lost weight. The mother sighed.

''I'm fine, Mom. Honestly''

''Then you can let me sit in your apartment,'' nagged the wife of the head of Onodera Publishing.

Now it was Onodera's turn to sigh. Reluctantly, he handed over the keys to his mother, already cringing at the reaction he was going to get when she reached home. Fervently, he prayed that the place was remotely presentable.

…..

* * *

Going back to the office, Onodera ran into the raven. Together, they entered the elevator.

''Oh Takano san,'' said the brunet. '' Sorry that I skipped out today. My mom wanted to meet me out of the sudden. I was halfway through the text when some papers had to be printed urgently. I forgot about it.''

_Why am I explaining so much?_

Takano shrugged. '' No biggie.''

If only Onodera knew how he had reacted earlier.

The raven slides his eyes over to his neighbour. '' You look like your mom,'' he said, stating the incredibly obvious -yet somehow unbelievable truth. So similar, yet so different.

''Er yes,'' replied the brunette, having heard that many times before. Another remind of just exactly who he was. The son of an Onodera. Heir. '' A lot of people have said that. She always says I'm more like my Dad though.'' The editor's voice dipped.

''Are you ?''

''Don't know.''

The lift slows as it reaches their level, coming to a stop.

''Well,'' said Onodera. '' I'm going back to work.'' And then he paused. '' Sorry about lunch Takano san,'' he apologised again, big green eyes staring sorrily at the raven for a second, expressing his apologies, before darting away.

Takano raises his arm. Affectionately, he reached his closer hand out, wanting to run them through Ritsu's brown locks which had fallen slightly over his eyes. His fingertips were just touching the strands of hair when he felt a hard, painful hit. Instinctively, Onodera had slapped the raven's hand away, eyes widening in alarm at the sudden gesture. Takano pulled his hand back. Rejection stings.

''Thank you for the hard work,'' said Onodera, almost shouting the words into space. Like a frightened child, he ran off, missing out the look on Takano's face.

…

* * *

Occupied with work, busied with what was left to be done, the fact that his mom was visiting his apartment had slipped his mind. The editor was starting to relax on his way home. Until his phone started vibrating.

''Ritsu!'' Onodera cringed at the loud and sharp shrill of his mom's voice.

The brunet grimaced. '' Yes Mom ?''

''How could you live in a place like this? What happened to your personal hygiene ? Why are your clothes thrown all over the place? Why aren't your plates washed? They'll grow bacteria ! And why is your fridge stock to the brim with energy drinks ?'' demanded Mama Onodera angrily.

''Mom, relax,'' the brunet tried coming up with an excuse. '' I eat out.''

A pause.

''Convenient food ?!'' Mama Onodera shouted into phone. Her son had just mentioned a taboo topic. People on the streets could hear the loud shout coming out of Onodera's phone, turning around to look. The brunette gives a sheepish smile . ''That's it Ritsu, get back home immediately.''

As his mom hanged up, Onodera closed his eyes.

_Urgh_

...

* * *

''What is this ?'' asked Mama Onodera pointing to a pile of dirty laundry, nagging like the fussy parent she was. ''And this ?'' she asked, opening the fridge, the lights shining proudly down on the young man's stock of energy drinks, displayed right to anyone's face. ''Ritsu, you can't survive from drinking rubbish like this every day. I can't believe you can't even take care of yourself. You're already 26.''

''Mom,'' snapped the editor. '' I'm not a child. I'm doing _fine_.''

''Ritsu-''

''Mom, I told you, I'm fine. I can take care of myself. You don't have to worry about me. Is there anything else you want to say?''

''Ritsu,'' said Mama Onodera, looking at her son. Realizing that he wasn't going to budge, she gave in. ''Fine,'' said his mom. Taking her leave, she gestures to a white bag of grocery items Onodera hadn't noticed before on his kitchen counter. '' I bought some food you .Vegetables. Meat. Remember to eat three meals a day.''

Afterwards, as the brown haired male puts the food into the fridge, a guilty look crosses his face, feeling bad for arguing with his mother.

…

* * *

''I'm home,'' shouted the head of Onodera publishing cheerfully, giving the standard greeting after being back from a day's work of managing the company.

''Welcome home,'' greeted his wife, feeling her stomach contracting awfully. Wearily, she brought the cup of tea placed on the table up to her mouth, taking in sips of it.

''Tsuma,'' said Papa Onodera, referring to his wife. '' Are you okay? You look unwell.''

''That child,'' she sighed, setting the cup down, referring to their only son. '' Ritsu isn't taking care of himself. I went to visit his apartment today and you know what I found? Unwashed clothes thrown everywhere, unwashed plates, and his fridge was full of energy drinks!'' she complained, appalled at her son's living conditions. '' I had to go out and buy some grocery for him. He's drinking those unhealthy things for seven days a week.''

Papa Onodera takes off his suit jacket, undoing his tie. '' I don't think it's that serious. He probably eats a proper meal or two every day.''

His wife sighed loudly, bringing the tea cup to her lips. The steaming hot liquid was smoothing the ache in her stomach from the stress. Her emerald eyes which their son inherited from were closed, lines wrinkling around the area. Mama Onodera tsked. '' That child. Making me worry at this age.''

''I'm sure he's doing fine,'' assured Papa Onodera. '' He's an adult after all. Don't worry so much about him.''

''I can't help it.'' The mother of Onodera Ritsu settled her cup down, sighing once more; the porcelain clicking against the surface noisily. '' I only have one son. ''


	26. Gamechanger

While proof reading, Onodera felt a tap on his shoulder.

''Onodera kun.'' It was the head editor of the literature department, Hitomi. '' Can I speak with you for a moment? I have something to discuss with you.''

''Hai,'' said the editor, getting up from his seat, nervous thoughts suddenly filing his mind. Did he did something wrong? Or was his work not good enough? Walking to the meeting room, Onodera tugged at the sweater he was wearing, given to him as a birthday gift.

''Have a seat,'' said Hitomi, gesturing to the seat beside him. This was serious.

Nervously, Onodera sat down, nerves working on his facial muscles.

''Onodera kun, you've work with shoujo manga before, in Emerald, correct?''

''Hai,'' responded the editor nervously.

''So you've got some experience with it, am I right ?''

''Hai,''

''How long was that?''

''A few months,'' said Onodera. They couldn't possibly be sending him back, could they?

''Well, I'm here to discuss a very important project with you,'' said Hitmoi, finally revealing the purpose of the meeting. Onodera instantly relaxed, heaving a sigh of relief.

His head editor laughed . '' Don't be so nervous, I'm not going to fire you.''

The brunet smiled, waiting for the next piece of information.

''Have you heard of Hayami Shizuka ?''

Onodera nodded. She was a mangaka under Takano. Very popular. The brunet recalled meeting her at the New Year's Eve party. Her works are among the best sellers.

''One of her manga, _Hi! School-Love On_, was recently adapted for an anime. Now, the manga to light novel adaption has been confirmed as well. Naturally, our department has been tasked with the job of turning her bestselling manga into a light novel. I'm wondering if you would be fine with taking up the job, since you have both shoujo manga and literature experience.''

Manga and light novel…. Does that mean….

''Will I be working with the Emerald team ?'' asked Onodera.

Hitmoi pursed his lips. He was hoping Onodera wouldn't ask about that. ''Yes''

''So…... that means I would be working with the editor who is in charge of her ?''

''Yes,'' answered the head literature editor, nodding his head robotically. Definitely hoping he didn't ask that. Who would dare to work with the demon editor in chief again?

So that means…..

_Working with Takano san_

''Has Emerald heard of the news?'' asked Onodera.

''They should have,'' Hitomi said. '' It's a rare opportunity,'' he said convincingly.

It was. So why was he hesitating?

'' Consider about it and get back to me soon,'' said the head editor, hoping he didn't scare Onodera off with the piece of info of _who_ he was working with. '' You're the best person for the job.''

''Hai''

''Oh, and nice sweater.''

…..

* * *

Before going for lunch, Onodera made a quick stop at a vending machine, getting a drink. Drinking from his can, he pondered about the offer.

It was a good opportunity, to learn more about both the field, the wok and planning. And he does have the experience no one else in the department had. But-

Would Takano want to work with him?

Then Onodera heard footsteps approaching. Yokozawa appeared around the corner, buying a drink from the vending machine as well.

''Onodera,'' he greeted curtly.

''Ah Yokazawa san,'' greeted Onodera back, straightening. It's been while since they last met, and said something that wasn't confrontational.

''Are things going well between you and Masamune ?'' he asked

''Erm…'' the brown haired male hesitated. Was this a trick question ?

'_Of course not'_ he chided himself. The older was genuinely interested in knowing about how they were progressing. If only he had an answer to give.

''Well…'' said the editor. ''…..Things are…better.''

Yokazawa glanced at him. ''that's-''

''Oh, so there's where you are'' said an unfamiliar voice. A tall man with wavy dirty blond hair came strolling over. '' I've been looking all over for you,'' he said to the sales staff.

''Krishima,'' said Yokazawa in surprise, caught off guard. What did he wanted?

The two of them starts their own conversation, bickering something about sales and how many copies and _are you out of your mind._

Onodera slips away.

…..

* * *

Meeting each other for lunch, Takano asked the brunet. '' what do you want to eat? ''

''Anything's fine,'' said Onodera frivolously. His mind was too occupied to care about food.

''We're eat this then,'' said Takano, standing in front of Pandaway.

''Eh?'' said Onodera, looking up at the large sign, looking at the intimidating menu in the shop. '' Erm, how about something else?'' he suggested awkwardly.

Takano scowled. '' We're already here, so get in already.'' He pulls Ritsu in with him.

''Welcome! Will you be dining in or is this for takeout?'' inquired the staff behind the counter, beaming at Onodera.

''Um… dining it.''

''Alright! May I take your order?''

''Well… um…''

''Here are our monthly specials!'' she recommended ethustically, adding to the confusion.

''Um…'' Once again, Onodera was lost, looking at the rows of many different choices in front of him uncertainly. '' Um…Takano san,'' the brunet turns back at the raven queuing behind him. '' You can go first.''

...

* * *

''So you're telling me, you still can't order from this kind of places?'' mocked Takano.

''I can!'' insisted Onodera fiercely, an anger flush on his face, flashbacks from ten years ago surfacing.'' Of course I can. I just can't handle it when they put me in a spot, that's all!''

''Uh huh'' said Takano, going along with it. He then asks something else. '' Is the sweater okay ?''

''Eh?'' said the brown haired male. '' Er yes.'' Onodera might never admit it, but it was actually rather comfortable.

''Thank goodness,'' said Takano as he unwraps his sandwich, the slightest bit of relief showing through his expression and tone. ''I thought it might be weird giving you clothes. But now I'm relieved, it suits you.''

''Um… Thank you for the gift,'' said the brunet, unsure of what else to say.

''Don't need to thank me.'' An image of Takano carrying his shoulder bag while going through a rack of clothes in a shop flashed through Onodera's mind.

They eat in silent.

''Takano san,'' called Onodera, breaking the silence. ''Have you hear about Shizuka sensei's work turning into a light novel?'' he asked.

''I just got news of it this morning,'' said the raven. '' The literature department is in charge of it, right?''

''Yup,'' comfirmed Onodera. '' I've just been asked by the head editor if I'm interested to take the project.''

''Well, it's a big project, considering Shizuka sensei's success.'' A joint adaption of the manga into an anime _and _light novel. ''I guess they need experience on both side. ''

''Will I be working with you ?'' asked Onodera.

The editor in chief flicked his eyes over to his former subordinate. ''I suppose so. I am in charge of her work after all.''

''I see,'' said Onodera, going back to his food.

''So are you ?''

''Eh?''

''Are you taking the project ?''

'' Well….'' Onodera hesitated. '' I'm considering it.''

''I suppose it is be a good learning opportunity, and gain some experience'' said Takano, slurping his drink. '' For a newbie like you.''

Onodera scoffed and bites off a chunk of his food in a heated manner. _What was that supposed to mean?_

''Besides,'' said Takano, stating his personal bonus. '' I get to work with you again.''

Hearing the words, the brunet now blushes, cheeks turning pink.

_What was that supposed to mean?_

While they eat, Takano rest his eyes at the person in front of him who was directly in his line of vision. The brunet chews his food normally as he takes a break from all the thought of work. Nonchalantly, he was in the state where he was just chewing his food, unaware of his surroundings.

_This guy  
_

Thought Takano, seeing Ritsu eat so carelessly. He had a small bit of food around the corner of his mouth that he wasn't aware of.

_Pampered Prince, Young Master Ritsu_

Watching Ritsu, Takano was reminded of the first time they had a ''date'', hanging out together. The raven had thought of the brunet as a pampered prince. Well, he still couldn't order from the place.

Moving forward, the older male reached his hand out, about to brush the food off when then- Onodera licked his mouth, taking in the sign that there was something on his mouth. Looking at his neighbour, he ran his tongue wetly across his bottom lip, wiping the food off, unknowingly doing a sultry move.

Widening his eyes, Takano stills.

After a second, he shouted. ''Don't do that!'' the editor in chief yelled at his neighbour, throwing Onodera a piece of napkin bewilderedly , adrenaline rushing all over. _What the hell was that? _Was Ritsu teasing him? That he hadn't gotten a willing kiss yet?

Takano huffed, glaring.

The brunet, missing out on the actual reason - gave a look - unhappy that he got scolded like a child for being a messy eater.

…

* * *

The day pass into night.

The two editors exited from the train, on their way home together. Initially, Onodera had protested, but Takano argued they lived in the same building anyways, technically almost together, he added. Frankly, it made Onodera not want to go back even more.

''Onodera kun !'' A female voice shouted.

Saeki, Onodera' former colleague and good friend appeared, moving forward to greet him. '' it's been a while!'' she said, glad to run into him after so long. ''Wait, is your place around here ?'' asked Saeki, coincidentally at the non-central station as well.

''Ah, on my way home from work,'' explained Onodera, updating her . ''I switched back to literature a while back.''

''Eh, really ?'' said Saeki, surprised. '' Well, I suppose anyone would want to quite if they work under the famous editor in chief.'' Unknowingly, the said person was just a few feet away.

Onodera laughed dryly, remembering how much she wanted to meet Takano. '' Actually Saeki san, this is Takano san, the editor in chief of Emerald,'' he introduced, gesturing to the person beside him. Aloofly, Takano looked at their exchange.

Shock at the total unexpectedness of meeting_ the_ famous editor in chief, Saeki san floundered like an ant suddenly attacked, scrambling on what to do. '' Eh!... This is…. Awah….'' _Ohmygod._ The editor in chief was totally hot.

Suddenly, a tall guy with short mess hair carrying a shoulder bag who was smiling came rushing over.

''Sorry I'm late!'' he apologised, giving a friendly broad grin. Upon seeing who it was, Takano's expression darkened.

Remembering her late acquaintance, Saeki regained her senses. ''Oh Haitani!''

Noticing the extra people around, Haitani's brain clicked when his eyes landed on someone familiar, recognizing who it was. ''Well, if it isn't Takano san,'' said the guy, smirking at seeing Takano again after so long.

Takano rearranged his features into his usual couldn't-be-bothered expression. '' Haitani,'' he said, making it clear he wasn't glad to see him.

''Oh! Onodera-kun, this is editor-in-chief of Shuudansha's 'weekly earth', Haitani Shin!'' Saeki introduced, and then explained the situation, grabbing the opportunity to meet the editor in chief '' we're going to a drinking party, would you like to join us? A lot of super famous editors would be there.''

''Oh, that's-'''

''We're not interested,'' Rudely, Takano interrupted Onodera, cutting him off abruptly. Taking Ritsu's arm, he dragged them away without even waiting for their response.

''Takano,'' called Haitani before they got far, phrasing a question. '' Just how long are you gonna waste your time in shouho manga ?''

The raven paused briefly, giving a look to no one in particular. Hurriedly, he dragged Ritsu off with him.

While Saeki laments about the missed opportunity, Haitani mused to himself. ''Who was that with him?'' he asked, seeing how the raven was dragging the fellow off.

''Oh! That was Onodera kun, he was a former co-worker working at Marukawa shouten now.''

''Oh right! The famed 'heir to the empire' huh ?'' remembered Hatani.

''Yup,'' said Saeki. '' But I'm wondering what's he doing with Takano san, since he said he already transferred departments.''

''Really now….'' mused Haitani, his curiosity and interest piqued by the interesting meeting.

…..

''Takano san!'' protested Onodera, pissed off. '' What was that for? It was rather rude of you to do that. And stop dragging me around! ''

The raven released his hand, his expression betraying nothing.

''Why did you had to hurry off like that? I didn't even had the chance to say anything.''

''it won't do you any good talking to him,'' said Takano.

''How would you know that? '' asked Onodera, wondering about the short but weird exchange between him and Hatani.

''That guy just now… We were co-workers at my last company,'' said the raven.

''You used to work at Shuudansha ?'' asked the brunette.

''Yup,'' said Takano, pausing a beat before throwing something out. '' Don't get involved with him.''

''And why's that?''

''Just stay away from him,'' said the editor in chief firmly. ''He's ….. not good news.''

_Huh?_

Onodera opened his mouth but then closed it. He wanted to find out more about it, but decided against it.

Something was very off.

….

* * *

''How's literature ?'' asked the shoujo manga editor, changing the topic.

As Onodera talked, the raven fixes his gaze onto his lips. Plush pink lips moved, shortly pressing together in between sentences. Staring at them, the raven looks at the way they change shape with every word. Desire crept up in the editor in chief. Instinctively, Takano move forward, going for a kiss. Instinctively, like many times before, Onodera pulled back, acting on reflex. Unfalteringly, the raven moved forward again, not believing he can't get a kiss out of the brunet. Onodera pulled back again.

A look of irritation and hurt flashed across the raven's face. The numerous times Ritsu fend off his advances played in his head. Grabbing Ritsu by the arm, he pulled them into a secluded alley. Under the cover of darkness, they were hidden away from view. Shadows partially eclipsing their faces.

Pushed against the concrete wall, Onodera took a step forward, trying to get out. Broad palms hit the space beside his shoulders, blocking him. Dark amber eye met green ones. An unreadable expression crossed the editor in chief's face.

'' Why can't I kiss you ?'' he asked, husky voice dropped to a low whisper , frustration seeping through. Motionlessly, the two stood there, unsure of the next thing to do. Older, but none the wiser.

Onodera blinked, feeling the heat from the heavy stare. Holding the raven's gaze, the brunet remained silent, offering no answer. Heat from his chest was rushing towards his cheeks. With their eyes evenly met, Takano dropped his gaze onto the brunet's unmoving lips. The thought of them on his mind, he lower and tilts his head, slowly inching forward.

The editor's heart pounded, racing wildly. Lowering his eyes, he retreats centre meter by centre meter against the wall, avoiding the situation. Slowly, Takano moved forward, and slowly Onodera retreated against the wall until he was pressed against it like he was trying to sink into it. The older male closed his eyes, about to close the last gap between them.

Then he stopped.

_thisclose_

Opening his eyes, he studies Ritsu. Green eyes lowered resistantly on the ground, avoiding him. Cheeks bright with a reddish hue, narrow shoulders hunched in stiffness. Uncomfortably trapped. A beat passes and nothing happens. Sensing the tension between them, Takano released his hands, dropping them. Straightening, he turns, defeat enveloping his shoulders.

''Just,'' said a wavering voice.

Takano turned. Onodera was looking at him. Open and raw.

''Just give me more time,'' breathes Ritsu finally. That's all he needs. More time. '' I need more time.''

_I'm still working on it._

_._

_._

_._

* * *

**Author's notes:** Ahaha, Haitani has been introduced! I think I'm shooting shoot myself in the foot in doing so.

I'm sorry for this rather lacklustre chapter. I have a lot going on now. Anyone else wonder about the sweater? Which Ritsu only wore once. Imagine Takano going shopping for it. Someone made a cameo appearance here~ Did you catch it ?

**P.S** I need date ideas. THROW ME SOME DATE IDEAS!


	27. Playing the blame game

Update on 8/2/2014: Cleaned up mistakes spotted.

''Hitomi san,'' said Onodera, walking up to the table of the head editor.

''Ah Onodera kun,'' the head editor turned around. ''Have you decided on the project?'' he asked. It's been a few days, and the editor is ready to give his answer.

''Hai,'' said the brunet, smiling.

.

.

.

* * *

''Good morning Nanahikari !'' said Isaka san brightly when he saw Onodera. The brown haired male resist cringing at the nickname. '' You're just in time! I was about to send someone to call for you.''

''Is anything the matter?'' asked the young man, wondering about the sudden request.

''Nah, nothing's wrong!'' said Isaka casually, worry free. '' Since it's been a while you've worked with of the Maiden club fellows, I thought I'll take the opportunity to let you join in a team bonding session. ''

'' Team bonding session ? '' asked Onodera.

''Oh, I thought of this long ago, '' said Isaka, waving a hand away.''I'm only doing it now. But since I happen to see you and you're be working with Takano again, I thought it will be good to pull you in too.''

_Well, Isaka san has always been one to give sudden plans or news._

Before Onodera could protest, Isaka pulled him into the conference room; seated there were the familiar faces of the Maiden Club.

''Hi Ricchan!'' said Kisa and Mino, smiling together. A serious looking Hatori gave his own greeting while Takano gave his infamous editor-in-chief's unnerving stare, flustering Onodera once again.

''This fellow would be joining them today,'' said Isaka to a staff who Onodera has never met before.

_Most likely from the PR department._

Isaka and the staff exchanged a few more words before he took his leave.

'' Good morning, everyone. Nice to meet you. My name is Kobayashi Akihisa. Today, we'll be discussing about possible source of conflict today'' Akihisa took a marker and wrote the words on the whiteboard, drawing a circle around it. ''Why are we doing this ?'' whispered the brunet to the person seated beside him, Mino.

''Isaka san said he might be doing this for all the other departments, but wanted us to test it out for to see whether it works since we're the _most efficient team_ ,'' explained Mino, whispering.

_Most efficient team_

The young editor nearly snorted.

'' What situations do you think can lead to conflict?'' asked Akihisa, putting on his hands on the table, saying it like he was asking what was the purpose of life.

Then Mino chimed in. '' Late submission of manuscripts.'' Nods all around the table.

''That's one,'' agreed Akihisa. ''Not handling your work on time and causing delay for everyone else. But I want something more general. Something that can happen to everyone.''

Hatori spoke up first. ''Different perception of things.'' How could Chiaki possible think he would kiss Yuu from_ any _angle? ''Thus causing a conflict due to a misunderstanding.''

''Jumping to assumptions,'' said Kisa. He was guilty of that.

Rightfully, Onodera shifted awkwardly in his seat, growing uncomfortable with a sense of guilt sneaking in. Why did he feel like there was a big target above his head?

''Very good,'' said Akihisa writing all of it down on the board, oblivious to all the emotions rising in the editors.

Then Takano spoke. ''Running away from a misunderstanding,'' he announced blatantly, blaring it out like an air horn. For a split second, it looked like he was looking at Onodera.

Ritsu clenched his teeth, knowing full well who Takano was referring to and the meaning behind the words. It was aimed at him.

''Misleading a person,'' said the brunette glaring at Takano as he felt his face flushing.

The raven's eyebrows knitted together, narrowing his amber-brown eyes down.

''Not clearing up a misunderstanding,''

''Causing a misunderstanding.''

''Are you referring to yourself? '' asked Takano sarcastically. The rest of the editors looked on, eyes moving back and forth between the brunette and the raven like watching a tennis match.

''Vague instructions,'' shot the editor, thinking about the number of times Takano thrown him to the lions at work, cutting the raven off before he could reveal any more embarrassing things. Hastily, Akihisa was scrambling to get all the points down, scrawling his words on the board.

''Huh? Don't blame me if you can't do your work,'' scorned Takano tauntingly.

''Snickering at someone's question, '' snarled Onodera, giving the starting cause of everything to happen.

''Was it a dumb question?'' asked Takano.

''Does it matter?'' snapped the brunette.

''Okay !'' exclaimed Akihisa, signalling it was the end of giving examples. ''These are all very good examples. Now-'' he said, moving on to the next question. ''-who do think is responsible for causing the misunderstanding?''

.

.

.

* * *

''Oi,'' Takano was trailing behind Onodera, who was marching his way off. '' Are you still upset over what happened? ''. It was lunch now and Takano was waiting for him before he could get away.

Onodera remained silent, refusing to answer him.

The raven sighed. '' Fine, we're talk about work then. '' That was something the brunette was fine with, since it was work. ''We're be meeting Shizuka sensei this weekend, but before that. Let me ask you: How is a light novel different from a manga ?''

''Well, for starters, it's a novel, meaning it's full of words.''

''Idiot, of course it's full of words.'' Takano smacked his former subordinate.

''Erm, the ones who read the novel will mostly be the fans, who already read the manga and know the plot. So I guess minimally, they will be expecting the characters to stay in their characters.''

''Of course,'' scoffed Takano .''All editors should know that, what else?''

'' They already know the plot, so they want more explanation behind their thoughts and action.''

''You've read the manga, right?''

Onodera nodded. He already bought and read all of the volumes of the completed manga. It really was a good series.

_Of course, as expected of something from Takano san._

''What else ?''

'Well...''

''Onodera,'' said his former boss. '' Make some use of that brain of yours.''

The brunette gritted his teeth.

''It can't be too different from the manga, which is the original source.''

''Atleast you know have to make sure you stick to the original work. You can expand it but don't embellish it if it's not something the mangaka wants. Words can covey the emotions and thoughts that the manga can't. The light novel can be just as engaging as the manga, and even more.''

''Hai''

''Every reader can get a different feel from reading the same thing. It's important that you retain the feel of the manga in the light novel. Loyal fans won't be happy if it's feels like a biography rather than shoujo manga. You have experience in both fields, so make use of that. Don't let the mangaka down.''

''Hai,'' said the brunette, taking the words. So that means….

He was supposed to write a teen novel ?

…..

* * *

In Marimo Books, the brunette was stacking a pile of girl's magazine and teen novels as his reference materials. The overwhelming stack was threatening to spill over his basket. Nearby, a sparkly part time worker was entertaining a group of fangirls.

''Takano san… that…_,''_ muttered the brunette under his breath, thinking about his former boss's response when he ask the question.

''_So I'm technically writing a teen novel ?'' asked Onodera._

''_Of course,'' said Takano. '' I thought you know that.''_

''_I do,'' insisted the editor. '' It's just that…''_

''_What?'' Takano crocked his head, looking down on him. '' Think you can't do it?'' he asked condescendingly. _

Fuming, he stacked his materials, until a couple infront of him caught his attention. The high school students were laughing over something in a magazine.

_Are you still upset over what happened?_

…

* * *

The days passed and the weekend arrived .Getting in the raven's car, they were on their way to meet the mangaka.

''Onodera,'' started Takano, approaching the topic. '' Are still upset ?''

''About what?'' asked the brunette unhappily, making it difficult on purpose.

''About what happen ten years ago,'' said his first love.

''If you don't bring it up, I won't get upset,'' argued the brunette.

''So you're still upset,'' said Takano.

''Can we talk about this later,'' said Onodera snippily, wanting to avoid arguing before meeting an author.

….

* * *

The two sat down with the author, Hayami Shizuka, in a nice little cafe to discuss about the manga to novel transition.

''I hope this place is fine for discussion,'' said the author shyly, not sure if the two editors were fine with the place.

''It is,'' said Takano, smiling graciously. ''The place is lovely, there's also a nice garden just opposite it.''

''It is, isn't it?''said Shizuka sensei. '' The garden is great for walks. Perhaps you can take one afterwards….''

Takano started making small talk, making Onodera wonder why he didn't jumped into business like how he usual do. Then the brunette understood- he was trying to make her less nervous. Takano has worked long enough to understand about all the mangakas who are under the Maiden team. Shizuka sensei was kinda shy. Definitely, the mangaka would be nervous around someone she's never met before and entrusting her work to him.

_I nearly forgot,_ remembered the brunette.

_How good Takano was at his job._

They began their discussions, going through the plot, characters and other important details. After some length discussions, they finished their work for the day.

''Thank goodness, I'm working with you two,'' said Shizuka sensei gratefully to a blushing Onodera and an ultra-polite Takano. ''I'm sure with the two of you, the manga will be in safe hands.''

Onodera bows. ''I will do my best.''

…..

* * *

''So that's that. You still have to work closely with Shizuka sensei for the follow up and during the entire book writing process,'' said Takano. ''What are you smiling about? ''he asked, suddenly noticing the smile on his love's face.

''Oh?'' said Ritsu. '' I'm just really glad I got the opportunity to work on this project,'' explained the brunette happily. He really was grateful for the learning opportunity. ''Onodera's expression turns to something more serious.'' I'm really glad that you're here to help me too,'' he said to his former boss, more solemnly this time.

_Even though it's regrettably that I didn't stay in shoujo manga, that's why I'm still lacking._

Takano glanced at him. Placing his hand on the editor's head, he ruffles it messily, covering the affection behind it. ''Idiot,'' he said. '' It's my job.''

….

* * *

''Takano san, where are we going?'' asked Onodera as the raven lead him away to another direction from where they came.

''We're going to the garden,'' said Takano.

''Huh?'' exclaimed Onodera. ''Wait-''

''Pipe down,'' said his neighbour. '' It's fine to take a short break. It's the weekends anyways.''

Finding a space to seat, the two boys sat down, relaxing for the moment.

''Onodera,'' started Takano again. ''Are you still upset by what happen ten years ago. You can't possibly still be mad at me.''

''Why are you bringing this up?'' asked Onodera agitatedly.

''It's because you're always running off on your own,'' burst Takano, looking at him gravelly.

'' I do not,'' said the brown haired male in exasperation. ''I only ran off because I thought you were playing with me.''

''It's not just that,'' said Takano. ''You did it the last time too. It's not my fault if you don't pay attention,'' complained Takano. '' Did you heard what I said last time?''

''What last time?'' asked the brown haired male, eyes blinking away in confusion.

''That time we sat down in the cherry blossom park on your birthday,'' said Takano. '' I said something but you were too busy watching the flowers.''

''Oh,'' said Onodera. '' I guess I didn't I hear it then,'' he said apologetically.

''And that time when we went to the festival too,'' said Takano, annoyed. '' You ran off again.''

''I didn't ran off!'' Ritsu said defensively. '' I went and help an old lady. I came back didn't I?''

''Uh huh,'' said Takano. '' Without telling me anything.''

''You can't blame me for thinking you were playing with me!'' exclaimed the brunet, bickering with him. '' You snickered when I ask if we were going out.''

''You can't possibly be blaming me for what happened'' said the raven. ''I thought it was obvious enough.'' Takano pauses, answering the problem that plagued the brunette for years. '' I think it was because I thought, why is he even asking this after all we did.'' Onodera takes in his answer. ''I suppose it's no one's fault that it happened,'' Takano concluded. Wordlessly, the two exchanged nothing.

''Were you really so shock?'' asked Takano.

''Yes,'' said his first love, like it was obvious enough.

''Did you really wanted to not see me so much?''

''I flew halfway across the globe to get away from you,'' said Onodera. '' How much do you think I wanted to see you?''

Silently, Takano looked ahead, his eyes carrying a distant look. ''I suppose it was easier to get over me then,'' he said.

''No,'' said Ritsu. The single word leaving him. '' It wasn't.'' The first few days were the hardest, when he had to act like everything was normal and fine. ''I wasn't homesick, but I felt like that every day.'' Homesick for someone else.

A young Onodera ritsu lies on his bed, the blanket thrown over him. His chest ached. His heart was bleeding. He didn't want to get up or do anything. His phone was flooded with missed calls and unanswered text from the same person who he tried pretending didn't exist, exhausting his heart.

''I suppose it was difficult for you too, getting a new start,'' said the editor in chief, referring to something else.

''Um yea…'' Onodera thought he was talking about the breakup.

''It must be rough… your parents getting divorced.''

''Erm my parents aren't divorced,'' corrected the brown haired male, wondering how Takano could think so.

''Your name was Oda Ritsu back in highschool,'' said Takano, his expression changing to a befuddled one.

Then Onodera realized.

_Oh Shit, _he thought as he explained everything. Needless to say, Takano was raging.

''No wonder I couldn't find you,'' said the raven, pissed off that he didn't even know his name at all. For the past ten years, no least.

''You tried finding me ?'' asked the brunette.

''Of course I did,'' said the raven. '' But after you left, my parents divorced and I was forced to go back to my mom's hometown. I didn't have much time to look for you.''

He couldn't find the boy even if he did try, because there was no Oda Ritsu, and Onodera Ritsu left for overseas.

''Takano san, how did you know it was me?'' asked the editor. What are the odds of the raven recognizing him with ten years to fade the memories ?

''I didn't recognize you at first, but then when you said you used to read all the books in the library on your second day of work, it just all clicked,'' said Takano. And suddenly it makes sense, why he couldn't shake the insistent feeling off that he has met him before.

It just clicked.

* * *

''Hey,'' asked Takano. '' What do you think would happened to us if the misunderstanding didn't happen'' he asked. An expression Onodera couldn't quite tell passed his features. The two sat there, pondering about the what-ifs.

Onodera flushed. '' I don't know,'' he said honestly. Maybe that would have lasted, maybe not. '' Maybe something else would happen,'' he said, then asking the question back. ''What do you think would have happened?''

''I think we're be married,'' said Takano, giving Ritsu a shock.

''What makes you think that?'' asked Onodera. _That can't possibly happen._ There's too many obstacles; besides-he'll be disowned by his parents if that happened.

_Could it?_

''Just a feeling,' said Takano.

''Why are you asking this ?'' asked the person the raven loves, flushing brightly.

''I'm just wondering what would happened if we didn't broke up,'' said Takano. ''You studied abroad after you left, and my parents got divorce. After that I moved with my mother back to her hometown in shikoku…I suppose we wouldn't have last anyways,'' said Takano.

_See_

A sinking feeling ripples through Onodera.

_Even Takano san thinks we wouldn't last._

But then Takano continues. ''But, no matter what I did, I would remember you…. It's true I was really stubborn. I really couldn't forget you at all… If I had forgotten about you, things would probably be different. ''

''Takano san,'' said Ritsu as the impact of the raven's word hit him hard. Overwhelmed by just how hard Takano's heart held on to him, the brunette didn't know what to say. How can anyone respond to that?

''I'm not chasing you because I'm stuck in the past. The past is the past. The person I love is the present you.''

A red blush colours Ritsu's face, overwhelmed by the confession.

''I love you, Onodera Ritsu.''


	28. Non Valentine's day date

''Onodera,'' called Takano. Standing on the train, the two editors were on their way to work in the morning, having met coincidentally on the way to the station. In the reflection on the window panel, the heavy eye bags and dark circles were a bit less prominent than on the actual person. ''How's that book coming along?'' asked his former boss.

''Oh… eh… It's good…. Just that…''

''Just that what?''

''Uh…. It just feels …. Flat.'' And kinda boring. Writing a light novel from a manga was harder than he thought. Shoujo no less.

Takano said nothing, looking out the window. '' Hmmm…. I guess you can't be helped,'' he mused. ''Well, I see you still can't do anything on your own,'' stated his former boss. '' Looks like I have to help you again.''

_What?_

Takano turns to look at the brunette. '' We're going out this Saturday,'' he declared firmly.

''Wait, what?!'' Onodera exclaimed loudly on the train at the sudden demand, commuters surrounding them turned, giving them looks. An embarrassed look crossed the brunette's face as he lowered his voice. ''Takano san-''

Doesn't the man know he doesn't have the time? ''What for?''

''For the light novel,'' said Takano.

''What?!'' A look of utter annoyances crossed the brunette's face.

''And besides, you owe me,'' his neighbour pointed out indifferently.

''For what?!''

''You still own me for Valentine's Day. We didn't get out date and you still haven't got anything for me. So you owe me that.''

''I owe you nothing!'' spat Onodera, baffled by the absurdness, narrowing his eyes down.

''You sure?'' asked the raven sceptically, a hint of amusement in his tone.

Onodera gritted his teeth.

_This guy…_

''Hmmm…. How about the time I took you to the festival? I was busy, you know.''

'' So was I!''

''So you do have time after all. Then that settles it. We're going out this Saturday. A non- valentine's date. We can take the opportunity to do lovely-dovely stuff the characters did in the manga. Perhaps that would help you better.''

'''I don't need your help!'' snapped Onodera.

''Uh huh,'' said Takano.

''I really don't!''

''What chapter are you on.''

''I'm stuck on chapter 11.''

''So you do need my help. Perfect. All the more we need to meet .''

''I'm busy,'' said Onodera. Well, it's true. The brunette was getting busy churning out the light novel.

''So am I. We're going to get busy since we're entering the hectic time of the cycle _with a lesser staff_. And plus you got the novel to write. We won't be seeing each other for the rest of the month.''

''Then we don't have to meet this Saturday.''

Looking irritated, Takano let out an audible sigh. ''You don't get it, do you?'' he asked.

Onodera blinked a blank look on his face. It couldn't be… is he saying…

_He's going to miss me?_

''I want to spend time together,'' said the editor in chief, laying it out clearly. '' Get it?''

Onodera said nothing, wondering to himself how someone like Takano could admit something like that out loud, but the look of his face says he does.

* * *

_I can't believe this_

The thought ran through his mind as the brunette locked his door, the raven waiting just beside him. He was going to do lovely-dovely shoujo manga shit with Takano today.

_Somebody please slap me_

''Are we really going to do this?'' asked Onodera was the pair walked to the lift.

''Of course we are,'' answered the editor in chief crossly, his features knitted together in annoyance. ''You're already down the lift. Why are you even asking?''

_It's just…._

Wordlessly, Onodera stood.

A mixture of dread and unsureness enveloped him. The brunette was annoyed with having to do this with Takano, but also wondering how could the two of them possibly follow the characters and do the lovely dovely things they do.

''In chapter 11, what's the first thing the characters did on their date?'' quizzed Takano as they reached ground floor.

That was the chapter where the heroine, Asumi, went on a date with her long time good friend Daito, who was in love with her for a very long time, during the post bad breakup phase with her crush.

''They held hands,'' answered Onodera, knowing where this was going.

''I'm glad you know at least that,'' said Takano. Reaching out for his date's hand, he grabbed on to the smaller hand. The warmth from the raven's hand seeped through his as Takano attempts to lace their fingers together.

Feeling the loud _badump_ of his heart, Onodera yanks his hand back. Cool caramel brown eyes looks back at him, questioning him. With his eyes big and wide, Onodera paused.

''Do we really we have to hold hands?'' he asked.

A look crosses Takano's face. '' It's just hand holding.''

''They don't hold hands at the start.''

''Fine,'' said Takano. He unlocks his car, opening the door to get in. Likewise, Onodera did the same, climbing into the car.

'' So Onodera, what was the whole point of that chapter?'' asked Takano.

''Well, the two of them just went around doing what they usually do. But the difference is that Asumi was heartbroken and Daito was trying to cheer her up by being nicer to her. But at the same time, he was taking their date as the start of his chance.''

''And what else did they do on their date?''

''Well, they went the movies, then a cat café and had dinner together.''

''So I guess that's the plan for today,'' said Takano.

* * *

_This is so awkward_

In the cinema, Onodera sat beside Takano, awkwardly placing his arms by his side. Takano had an arm propped up, resting his head against it, taking most of the armrest. A bored look on his fair face as he watches the commercial, waiting for the movies to start.

Disconcertingly, Onodera fumbled with his hands.

_Why am I doing this?_

Agreeing to go on a non-valentines date where they do all the lovely dovely manga shit.

_Takano wanted to spend time but is this really necessary…._

The brunette shifted his green eyes away from the editor in chief.

_But we're doing this because I was stuck on the novel_

As he waits for the movie to start playing, Onodera looked around the cinema. It was pretty full. Glancing, he spotted a couple seating in the designated couple seat, which was a little bit further away from the rest of the rows. The girl was resting her head on her boyfriend's shoulder as they shared a box of popcorn.

_Badump_

There was a scene later in the chapter when the heroine had done the same thing, resting her head the guy's shoulder.

_Surely Takano san won't be expecting me to do that right?_

''You don't have to be so nervous you know.''

Onodera flinched at the words said by the editor in chief. ''I'm not going to do anything,'' said Takano, looking bored as the lights dimmed, darkening the entire cinema hall.

_What the heck_

He's only here for the novel. Besides, he supposedly owns the guy anyways. It's not like the brunette was expecting for something to happen like a real date.

_Let's just get this done and over with._

Besides, Takano san couldn't be serious about this, right?

* * *

''Onodera,'' called Takano. ''Come in already.'' The editor in chief was standing in the centre of the cat café somewhere in Tokyo. Feline of various size and patterns over their furry body sauntered around the room. Standing by the door, the brunette glanced hesitantly into the room.

''I'm fine standing here Takano san,'' said Onodera dryly. Animals never liked him, and seeing the room full of furry creatures was beginning to overwhelm him. What if they all hissed at him? Or scratched him? Cats can be very scary. A particularly evil looking cat was glaring at him with its fierce cat eyes while on the other hand; a black cat was walking over to Takano, pawing at his ankle.

''Are you gonna stand there and block the way the whole day?'' asked Takano impatiently, scowling at his neighbour. ''Just get in here,'' commanded the raven as he bent down to pat the black cat.

''I'm really fine here,'' insisted Onodera wearily, glancing around the room full of felines. Some were sleeping in their boxes, or those cat beds. Some were awake and resting leisurely on the cat stand.

_It must be nice being a cat_

With a sigh and a frustrated look, the older man took the black cat in one hand and got over to where his date was standing. Using his other free hand, Takano grabbed his date and dragged him in. Reluctantly, Onodera entered the room, resisting.

''Animals don't like me,'' cried the brunette, warning Takano.

''Just get in already!''

Stiffly, Onodera sat down on his chair as the cats began walking around the room. By the side, Takano was playing with the black cat which sauntered towards him. A smile graced his fair face as he stokes the cat's fur.

_That one looks like Sorata_

The former pet of his neighbour came to Onodera's mind, along with days of their high school and Yokozawa.

_I wonder how old is Sorata this year_

The brunette has no idea how long cats lives, but surely Takano, and even himself, will miss the cat when it's gone.

While Takano remains distracted with the feline, gingerly, Onodera approached the nearest cat next to him. The butter-coloured cat reminded him of Garfield. He- or she- even had the size of the cartoon cat too.

Shyly and hesitatingly, the editor approached the cat, reaching a hand out to pat its head. ''Don't scratch me,'' he whispered, eyes as big and innocent as a kitten's. Sensing a human touching its head, the cat jerked up and swapped at the brunette's hand. Just tine time, Onodera pulled back, avoiding getting the cat's claws from scratching his skin.

''Animals just don't like me,'' cried Onodera limply, sounding upset as the cat walked haughtily away. By the side, Takano looks up from his furry companion. The brunette's back was hunched despondently, his head hanging in defeat; a dark heavy air surrounded him. Playfully, the black vat pawed at the raven for attention. However, instead of the smile he gives whenever a feline calls for attention, the raven was lost in thoughts, looking at space with brooding eyes.

Directing his gaze downwards, he suddenly heard his name.

''Takano san!''

Ritsu was holding a grey cat with stripes all over its body, and uncanny green eyes. Carrying the animal in his hands, a smile bloomed across his lips as the brunette's eyes lit up like stars. '' Look this one likes me!''

Delighted, Onodera puts the cat down and scratches the it's head warmly, his cheeks lifted with a smile. The feline turns, lying down on its back with its tummy up. Afraid that the cat will scratch him, the brown haired male approaches the animal carefully, gently patting it.

''It likes me!'' exclaimed Onodera happily in relief as he didn't get scratched by its claws, playing with it.

Nearby, Takano smiles.

* * *

''Onodera''

Dreadfully, the editor looked up, upon hearing the coy way Takano called him, weary for what his neighbour had for him. The older male had ordered an ice cream dessert, holding a spoon up. ''Come share this with me~''

''You can't be serious,'' said Onodera incredously, distress written all over his face, furrowing his brows together. Does Takano san really want to do couple stuff with him?

''its part of what the characters did~'' said Takano lightly. '' And we can do this as part of our non-valentine's date.''

''Takano san, aren't you taking this a bit too seriously?'' asked Ritsu.

''I'm always serious about the one I love,'' said Takano seriously, looking into Ritsu's eyes. Heat rushed to the brunette's cheeks, blushing at how the line could be both cheesy and serious at the same time. '' Besides, I don't think you could be as unprofessional as this.''

Onodera clenched his fist, the fluttery feelings all gone.

_Look who's talking_

''Come now, don't be shy.''

Get it over and done with his ass.

* * *

'' After spending around two hours in the cat café, the pair exited the place, moving on to the next activity.

''Takano san,'' said Onodera. '' Why do you like cats so much?''

''They're cute,'' answered the raven, giving his short reply, as if it wasn't obvious enough. '' Don't you think so?''

''I guess,'' said his date, brushing stray fur off his clothes. He was still frowning over what happened with Takano but then smiles again. At least one cat likes him.

''Oh hey! ''

Running into the man opposite them, Takano's expression darken.

''Oh Hello Haitani san,'' greeted Onodera brightly. '' Nice to see you.''

''Nice to see you too Onodera kun,'' said Haitani, giving a cheerful smile. Sliding his eyes over, Haitani's mouth quirked up even more at the sight of the two of them together. '' You too Takano. Fancy seeing you here. ''

''What are you going here?'' spat Takano.

''Oh I'm just meeting a friend,'' said Haitani. ''What are the two of you doing here anyways?'' he asked.

''Oh, we're just here for work,'' said Onodera, hoping he sound convincing enough and that Haitani doesn't hear the wobble in his voice.

''We're on a date,'' said Takano loudly, stating the fact boldly.

''A-a work date!'' said Onodera hastily, scrambling to gets the facts right.

''Oh really?'' said Haitani.

''Hai! Takano san is helping me with the light novel I'm working on of the mangaks he's-''

''We're going,'' said Takano as he grabs Ritsu, pulling him together with him, walking away from his former colleague.

''See ya next time!'' said Haitani as he watches them, growing more and more amused and interested with their relationship.

''Takano san, what was that for?'' questioned the younger male as he shakes off the older man's grip.

''You don't have to explain so much to him,'' said Takano.

''Why not?'' asked Onodera. '' I was just explaining things to him. And this was your idea in the first place.'' Was Takano embarrassed to be seen with him?

Wordlessly, Takano looked ahead. '' Just don't talk so much to him. I told you to stay away from him. Didn't I?''

''But-''

''Anyways,'' said Takano, grabbing Ritsu's hand. '' We still have time before dinner, I suppose we can do some other things too.''

''What other things?'' asked Onodera, almost afraid of the answer.

''Couple things,'' said Takano. '' Maybe you can start by buying me some chocolate back. This is a non-valentine's day after all.''

Takano squeezes Ritsu's hand. Roughly, Onodera pulled his hand back. Takano reaches for his hand again.

''Takano san,'' said Onodera._ He can't be possibly expecting us to hold hands in public._

''No one will notice,'' said the raven, drilling his gaze into Onodera' eyes. Wordlessly, the brunette stared back at him, conflicted.

An unreadable expression passes the raven's face. ''Fine,'' he said.

* * *

''Wait,'' said Onodera, spotting a convenience store ahead. '' Can we stop here for a while? I'm going to buy a drink.'' He didn't bring water out and was getting thirsty after half a day of no water.

''Uh huh,'' said Takano, waiting outside. Onodera snorts as he watches ladies on the street who were passing by giving the editor in chief glances as he pose outside the store, whispering excitedly to each other.

The brunette moves to the back of the store, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. Moving to the cashier, the thought of the person outside waiting for him lingered on his mind. Instead of going to the counter, Onodera went to the candy section, eyeing the bars of chocolate available. Sighing, he wondered on what to do.

Onodera exited the convenience store, a drink and something else in hand.

''Here,'' he said, passing something flat and rectangular to his former boss. His non-valentine gift. Opening the cap of the bottle, the editor took a drink from his bottle, feigning indifference.

Surprise sprang to Takano's features as his eyes widen at the gift in hand. A bar of dark chocolate candy.

''You keep complaining about it, so I bought you one to shut you up,'' said Onodera, pretending it wasn't a big deal. Takano landed his caramel coloured eyes on him. '' They don't have black coffee flavour so I got dark chocolate instead,'' said the brunette. ''I don't own you –''

Onodera was cut off mid-sentence as Takano planted a sudden kiss on his lips. However, his happiness was short lived when he caught the expression on his date. The brunette had his eyes widened in poorly concealed shock, obviously not expecting- and not wanting- the raven to do something like that. He was flushing red.

Hurriedly, the brown haired male walked off, leaving Takano to stare after him.

* * *

''Where do you wanna go?'' asked Takano.

''Umm…. The library?'' he suggested, for the lack of better things to say. Things had been rather weird after the chocolate incident. Neither of them had said anything afterwards and the silence was killing him.

''Why would you wanna go there? '' asked Takano in irritation.

''Because it's been a while since I've been there and I doubt I have anytime to go soon…'' explained Onodera nervously. It was a lame suggestion.

''We're take my car then,'' said Takano.

'_Did I do something wrong?' _Onodera wondered.

_My reaction might have been rather big but what was I supposed to do? _

In his seat, the editor looked out the window.

_Now what is the plan still on?_

Silently, they endured the ride.

* * *

''I'm heading to the fiction section,'' said Takano.

''Hai,'' said Onodera.

''We're meet here at six, then we're go for dinner.''

''Hai,''

Going their separate ways, Onodera browsed though the shelves slowly, going through the books. After browsing for a while, he founds some books he was interested in. Carrying the stack of books to a table, Onodera flipped opened the first book, a memory coming to mind….

_15 year old Onodera Ritsu carried a stack of novels, walking towards his favourite table in the whole of his high school library._

_As silently as he possibly could while trying to maintain his excitement upon sitting next to his favourite person, the brunette quietly settled in his seat. His heart beated loudly in his ears._

_Beside him, Saga senpai was absorbed in his own reading, eyes focused on the page infront of him, unaware of his surroundings. He didn't nod his head or anything when Ritsu sat down; does that mean he didn't notice him?_

'_Should I say something?' wondered the young student, glancing over at his senior, 'What if I disturbed him?' As usual, the senior was just reading his book._

'_Wait, what am I thinking?' Ritsu shook himself. 'This is the library, of course I don't have to say anything.' The brunette glanced over to the senior again, red creeping onto his face. 'Besides, I'll probably disturb senpai anyways.''_

_As Ritsu placed his hand on the first book, another hand overlapped his. Saga senpai was lacing his fingers together with Ritsu's._ _Blushing heavily, and giving out a small gasp, the brunette whipped his head over. Other than the tiny smirk on the raven's face, nothing else was different from 5 seconds ago. Ritsu quickly pulled his hand back, hiding them under the table instead._

_Undaunted, Saga's hand searched for Ritsu's under the table, clasping them together. _

''_Senpai,'' whispered his junior, thinking that someone might spot them. ''We're in the library.''_

_Wordlessly, the raven flipped a page on his novel, continuing to hold on to the brunette's hand._

_._

_._

_._

Present day Onodera Ritsu held on to his opened book, an emotion tugging heavily on his heart.

* * *

Dinner afterwards was awkward too. They didn't really say much. As they strolled back to the car, Onodera thought of all the times Takano had looked upset today, which, considering it was countable- meant a lot.

Watching the raven, Onodera felt a sense of guilty sneaking in.

_He really wanted to spend time together._

Takano was walking ahead of him.

_And do all the lovely dovely things , without or without the light novel anyways._

Sighing inwardly, Onodera recalled the look on the rave's face after the kiss.

_Did I really look so bad?_

Suddenly, Takano stopped, spinning around, facing his date.

''What is it?'' asked Onodera. Intently, the editor in chief was gazing at him, eyes darting towards his lips.

''Nothing,'' he said finally, moving on. Onodera caught a glimpse of his expression.

_This person_

''Takano san,'' called Ritsu quietly. The older male turned. Walking up to him, the brunette closed the distance between them. ''Close your eyes,'' he said.

''What?''

''Just close your eyes,'' insisted the brunette, behaving strangely. Looking at his date suspiciously, Takano complied.

''What are you going to do ?''he asked.

''Just close your eyes,'' said the brunette.

Gingerly, Ritsu reached his hand out, placing them delicately by the side of the raven's fair cheeks. Takano felt warm hands touching his skin gently. Slowly, and hesitantly, Onodera leaned in, putting their face close together.

''Don't move,''

_BADUMP_

With the raven's eyes closed, Onodera studies hi m openly, admiring the feature-eyes, nose, lips-taking it all in. Soft lips press into his, the older male could feel fingers trembling slightly. Opening his eyes, he sneaks a peek at the person he loves. Realising what was happening, Takano parted his lips, opening the brunette's mouth along with his, starved for love. Placing a hand on the back of Ritsu's head, Takano slides another around his waist, holding him close.

_BADUMP_

_Even if I didn't want to , even if I tell myself no. This person…. This person would always make my heart sway. His words, his actions… It's all….._

_Why_

Ritsu's heart slams against his chest, beating in rebellion against all of it.

_BADUMP_

_Why is my heart always… always…._

Warmth surged through his body.

_Shaking so badly?_

_BADUMP… BADUMP … BADUMP_

As their lips press together passionately, the brunette's head spins, dizzying him. Helplessly, he clung onto the person holding him, wrapping his arms around the raven. With their eyes closed, wrapped in each other's embrace, their lips mould into each other's.

_This person_

_This person…_


	29. Big bad wolf

Onodera Ritsu walked, his shoes hitting the floor in a steady pace. He was staying back after work to work on the light novel. In the department, he was the only one left. After going to the tearoom, taking his break, he was heading back to the office. Behind him, the sounds of shoes clicking against the concrete ground followed.

Slowly, the rhyme quickened, getting louder and louder with each step. Nervously, Onodera clenched his fist. A sense of fear rising through him as the unknown stranger tailed him. Under the building lights, the editor could see a shadow approaching dangerously closer.

Quickly, the editor fastens his pace. Entering the office, Onodera relaxed, somehow thinking the stalking would stop. However, it didn't. The person was getting closer. As the stranger closed up on him, Onodera turned rapidly, confronting the person with frightened green eyes.

''Oh Takano san,'' said Onodera, relaxing instantly, breathing a deep sigh of relief. He rolled his eyes as his hand released the nervous hold. '' It's you.''

The editor in chief said nothing, merely looking at the brunette with his usual impenetrable gaze.

'' Are you waiting for me?'' the brown haired male asked. He remembered saying they were too busy to meet up anymore.

The raven said nothing, except smiled at him. Onodera turned, going back to his seat.

''I -''

In a split second, the brunette was shoved against the hard wall of the office; wrist pinned firmly against the surface, held down by the strong hold of the raven's grip. Erratically, the brunet's heart pound, literally hearing the pulse in his ear.

''W-mgrhh!'' Instantly, the raven pushed his lips against Ritsu's, roughly kissing him.

''I want you,'' whispered the older male, voice deep and low with desire. Taking the brunet's hand, he guides it to his neck, down to his collar bone and then to the middle of his chest. '' You want me too, don't you?''

Before Onodera could protest, Takano silenced him with a suffocating kiss. Eagerly, the editor in chief moved his hands down to the brunet's waist, hands sliding up his chest, pushing his shirt up Heat surged through him as Takano sends a frenzy of kisses down his neck.

An embarrassing moan slipped out of the brunet as the raven slides a hand down his jeans, fingers curling around his member. Another moved up his chest, playing with his nipple, making the younger male both excited and nervous at the same time. Feeling Takano's wet tongue probing into his mouth, Onodera gasped softly, allowing the older male to kiss him deeply. Gradually, all the strength left the brunette's body. Instead of fighting against the raven, the editor lets him do what he wants. Hands pulling their bodies together. Another moan slips out as the older male ravishes him.

''_Takano san''_

Onodera looks on, anticipating what's next to come as the raven unbuttoned his jeans, zippers –

***RINGG! RINGG!***

Flying off his bed, the brunet gasped at his fall. Hitting the cold floor, Onodera woke up with a startling realization.

_It's just a dream._

Panting heavily, the editor looked around his room and the pajamas he was wearing confusedly. Sweat stick to his clothes. Patting his chest in a comforting manner, he gave a big sigh of relief.

_It's just a dream. It's just a dream._

He glances at his clock. It was time to get ready for work.

* * *

_What a horrible dream._

Still reeling from his night-time fantasy, Onodera closed his door in a stunned daze. Shame washed through him as he recalled the details of it. It wasn't a simple like the last one he had not long after he transferred to Marukowa. This was a full on Fuck-me-in-the-office fantasy.

Just then, when he was shaking himself out of it, the doors of the apartment next door started swinging. Onodera paused warily.

''Onodera,'' greeted the real Takano, getting out for work as well. '' Good morning.''

Heat exploded in the Onodera's face. ''G-Good m-morning'' he fumbled, avoiding the raven's eyes.

_Why is this happening to me?_

Distracted, Onodera jammed his keys in clumsily, trying to lock his door as quickly as possible.

''_Please just let me crawl into a hole and die'' _he wished, badly hoping it would happen. Hurriedly, he walked to the lift, urgently pressing for it to come. Soon, Takano follow up.

''Onodera,'' he said when they entered the lift. '' Are you alright?'' he asked, eyes on his neighbour. The brunet, who was standing stiffly, was a strange distance away from him, painfully aware of how close they were int he enclosed space.

''I'm fine,'' Onodera managed to squeak out, eyes darting all over the place, looking for a way to escape. Against his chest, the brunet's heart was beating anxiously, and he was most likely blushing a few different shades of red by now. Takano brushed his hand into the younger male's hair, brushing out bits of dust, making the brunet jumped. Alarmed, Ritsu looked at him with wide eyes.

''What's wrong with you?'' asked Takano, wondering what was going on.

''N-n-nothing,'' Onodera squeaked again, blinking quickly. '' I'm going to be late for work,'' he said, forcing his words out.

When the doors opened at ground level, the editor broke into a run. Curiously, Takano looked on with a puzzled expression.

* * *

Typing away on his laptop, Onodera paused, staring at the words as the single black line flickered at him.

Words rang in his ear.

_You want me too, don't you ?_

So what if they had one really good kiss ? That doesn't mean there's any chance of office sex happening, right?

Catching himself, the brunette slapped his cheeks. ''Get yourself together !'' Onodera told himself. Marukawa had given him a tight deadline to work with, and there was no time for silly daydreams.

Slapping his cheeks again, Onodera sat straight and focused.

* * *

The editor trudged towards the station, waiting wearily for train to come.

_Another long day_

As the train arrived, he boards it with the rest of the commuters.

_But at least I'm making progress_

''Onodera kun!'' The brunette turned, eyes meeting with Haitani Shin. '' What a coincidence meeting you here! Are you going home from work?''

''Hai,'' replied the brown haired male. '' It's nice to see you too.''

The taller male gave a friendly grin. ''What station are you getting off? Maybe we could have a little chat first.''

''Oh , its….''

''This really is a funny coincidence,'' said Haitiani, holding on to one of the overhead handlers. '' I live around that station too.''

''Ah? Really,'' exclaimed Onodera, smiling at the situation.

''So I see Takano's not with you today.'' Haitani smiled, bringing up the topic.

''Oh , hai,'' said the brunette. '' He's getting busy with the editing cycle now.''

The taller male turns, fixing his dark brown eyes onto him. ''Say Onodera kun,'' Haitani started, throwing his question out. '' What do you think of Takano ?''

_Eh?_

''Ahahaha,'' laughed Onodera, looking away from Haitani's gaze. '' Why are you asking me this ?''

''You too seem pretty close,'' said the other editor casually, stating his observations. ''Despite the fact that you've already transferred departments, he still looks after you, huh ?''

Onodera gives a dry laugh, waving the assumption away. '' Not really, it just….'' He drifts off, trying to think of an excuse. Haitani raises an eyebrow, a smirk peeking out as he waits. ''It's just that I'm working on a light novel based on one of his mangaka's work. He's just making sure I don't screw up.''

''Oh really,'' said Haitani, turning back to his reflection on the window panel. ''I suppose the guy always did what he wanted. Isn't he running you down ?''

'' What do you mean ?''

''That guy, he's always looking down on others,'' said Hatani, a disgruntled look on his face. He turns towards Onodera again. ''But I'm sure he's more lenient towards you.''

''Eh, no,'' said Onodera, defending him. '' He might be hard on everyone, but Takano san is an extremely capable worker. And if you follow his instructions, you're always get the results. He's a really tyrant boss, but I really did learn a lot under him.''

_Why am I explaining so much?_

''I see,'' said Hatani, smiling.

_I suppose that is the undeniable truth, after all._

It was until Haitani got off the train did Onodera realized they had already reached their station.

''Well,'' said the affable editor, going their separate ways. '' Nice talking to you Onodera kun, see you next time!'' Haitani waved.

* * *

As the working people busied themselves with their jobs, the day goes by and turns into weeks. Soon, the completion of the light novel and end of the editing cycles reached.

At night, Onodera walked out of the office building. A distance away, his neighbour waited, carrying a small bag in his hands.

''Here,'' said Takano passing the bag to him.

''For me?'' asked Onodera.

''Who else?'' said the raven. The brunette smiled as he accepts the bag. Looking into it, his green eyes lit up.

''Thanks for the dorayaki,'' said Ritsu, giving the raven another shy smile. Takano place his hand on Ritsu's head, ruffling his hair as he gives one smile too.

* * *

''Kanpei !'' they cheered, hitting their cans of beer together.

Onodera takes a swing of his can. '' Ah, finally done with the light novel!'' he announced happily, taking another sip of his beer.

''It's about time,'' remarked the raven, taking a sip of his beer as well. ''I thought you were never going to finish it.''

''Of course I would!'' exclaimed Onodera, giving Takano a pointed look. Quietly, the two sipped away from the drink.

Although he might not be hundred percent sure of what to do around Takano, the brunette was still somehow happy about the drinking session, for some reason.

* * *

''Hahaha…'' laughed Onodera tipsily, in the state of near drunkenness. His cheeks flushed from the alcohol. He had less than half the number of cans Takano had but was twice as drunk. The older had scoffed at him when Onodera insisted he could hold his liquor. The two ended up racing who could drink faster in a drinking competition.

Likewise, Takano wasn't doing too well himself, but better – and more sober. Discarded empty cans sat around the table, some crushed while some aren't. After hitting his maximum quota, the brown haired male leaned back in his seat, and started talking.

''You know,'' said Onodera, chuckling to himself, half drunk. '' There was one time back in high school; my friends asked me what I wanted to eat for lunch. I told them I wanted to eat pandaway.'' Then he laughs, the tinkling sound echoing from his throat. Shifting his green eyes up, he fixes them on the editor in chief. '' When they heard that, they were so shock. And asked. 'Ristu, when did you started eating fastfood ?!' '' Onodera laughs again. Flickering his eyes back at Takano, he said something else. '' I blame you for my convince food lifestyle now, you know.''

Wordlessly, Takano looks down onto his can.

''Talk,'' said Onodera, chucking his can at him. All the drinking was making him very loud. '' I can't be always be the one who have to think of something to say. Talk.''

A quiet moment happens.''Do you still remember,'' said Takano softly, leaning over to the person he loves. '' That time we did it in the library?'' The big confession he received haunted him sometimes, when doubt and hurt broke out in war in his broken heart.

''Of course!'' laughs Onodera, intoxicated, his red cheeks lifted up. It haunted him as well. The way Saga put his arms around him, holding him tight. The white curtains fluttering in the wind. How in that moment, in the high school library, he could feel everything. '' Who could forget?''

* * *

The brunette, very drunk but still conscious, opens another can, drinking the contents down.

''Onodera, that's enough,'' said Takano, stopping him. Fussily, the brunette gave an unhappy look, breaking away from the raven's hold. He quickly drains the can empty. Silence looms over them. Onodera looks at him with tired eyes. ''You're a bad person,'' he whispered.

''Why ?''

''You've made me very upset,'' said Ritsu, putting his head on his arm as he leans on the table, dangling his near empty can. Sadness clouds over hazy green eyes. Silently, Takano watches. ''But then,'' said the brunette, '' so am I.''

Sleepy, the brown haired male collapses onto his neighbour's couch. Takano settles beside him, watching him quietly.

''Senpai…'' Ritsu groaned, eyebrows knitted together. Takano, awake and conscious, gazes at him. Onodera blinked, his version blurring. His head spins under the influence of the amount of alcohol. Blurrily, the image of the person before him comes into focus. ''Takano san….'' Ritsu muttered as his vision clears and the sight of the raven sitting beside him. Takano puts an arm around his neighbour, planning to carry him up. Onodera stirs.

''If…if the break up didn't happen'' said Ritsu drunkenly, his word slurring, eyes half closed as he looks at his senior in high school. An unreadable expression crosses the raven's face. '' I would have followed you till the end,'' he whispered, eyes closing shut as he slumps against his first love.

* * *

Early morning sunlight streamed in through the glass windows. Eyes closed, Onodera flipped to his side, snuggling into his bed. His blanket was really soft and comfortable. Cracking his eyelids opening, he wakes up to what was in front of him. Caramel coloured eyes looked back at him. The brunette flips back, closing his eyes again as he goes back to sleep.

Then his eyes flew open.

Takano Masaume greets him with a steely gaze, an enigmatic smile spreading across his fair face.

Utterly shocked, Onodera tumbled out of his- no, not his- bed, landing onto the floor, thinking about the worst possible scenario.

''Good morning,'' said Takano, completely shirtless.

_Did we ….? We couldn't…._

The blanket covered the bottom half of the raven's body – to Onodera's great relief. Feeling the cold air around him, Onodera frantically realized for himself he was also shirtless. This was worse than his dream. About ten times worse.

Panicking and breathing hard, the younger male looked down, almost afraid to find out whether he was wearing anything at all. Quickly, the brown haired male finds out he was still in his boxers.

''Oh great,'' Onodera gave a big sigh. He was still clothed. '' Nothing happened,'' he concluded faintly, eyes closed with a terribly assured expression.

''How did you know? '' asked Takano.

The brunette's eyes popped open.

Onodera looked back at him. While Takano's impenetrable gaze gave away nothing, his words hinted at another possibility. And he did give him a weird smile when he woke up.

Onodera narrowed his eyes down on him. _Nothing happened, right ?_

''Did anything happen or not?'' he demanded heatedly.

''I don't know,'' shrugged the raven, giving an undecided answer. '' What do you think?'' he asked. The brunette thinks. Cautiously, he bring his eyes back to editor in chief. So he was covered, and his exposed torso didn't tell him anything. Onodera didn't felt any weird pain in his body, but he was feeling kinda heavy. The brunette looks at himself again. There was no marks, and he was in his underwear, which means he was still wearing something, which means –

''Nothing happened right?''

''I don't know.''

Furiously, Onodera grabs a pillow and hits his neighbour. ''Takano san!''


	30. Déjà vu

Stepping onto the third level floor of the office building, Yokozawa Takafumi was earlier than usual. Today was the day of the big and long group meeting about the manga works. Marukawa was getting ready to launch the release of the light novel at the same time as the anime and new manga chapter.

Going into the meeting room, the sales staff was not surprised to see a few others already seated there. This was a huge joint release so the sales were expected to be staggering-just as long as the light novel was good.

Speaking of the editor, the brunet had not yet arrived. Then, coming through the door, was Takano Masamune.

''Masamune.''

''Takafumi,'' said Takano, exchanging their curt greetings.

''Where's Onodera?'' asked the sales staff.

''Don't know,'' said Takano, grabbing the chair beside him and checking his watch. ''Still on his way most likely.''

His good friend scowled. '' He better not be late.'' It was still really early though.

The various representatives were coming in, from the marketing to the upper management. Slowly, while people came trickling in one by one, Yokozawa wondered whether he should make small talk with the raven beside him. But the meeting was going to start soon, and was he supposed to discuss personal matters at a time like this, in this setting?

Yokozawa opened his mouth, forming his sentence. "Taka-"

''Hello peeps!'' greeted Isaka loudly, entering the room. The director took the seat at the head of the table. Behind him, Onodera came rushing in, taking the available empty seat opposite them.

Onodera took one glance at his co-workers and lowered his head. ''Good morning,'' he greeted weakly. He really should have left earlier.

''You're late!'' chided Takano, before Yokozawa could.

''I'm sorry!'' apologized Onodera, still unsettled from rushing. The sales staff's ears prickled. Did he just hear…affection in Takano's mini-lecture?

As the meeting started, Onodera made a ninety-degree turn to the front, completely removing Takano from his range of view. He'd been avoiding his neighbour ever since that morning. The black haired male smirked. Ritsu was probably still wondering whether anything had happened during their intoxicated night.

As the meeting stretched on, several rounds of discussion were held. At some point, Takano had to speak, giving a brief progress update. In his seat, the editor in chief was completely at ease talking.

Yokozawa frowned, not out of jealousy, but at feeling something weird was going on. His dark eyes flitted back and forth between the two editors as Takano talked. The raven's tone carrying something shy of sly.

The sales staff narrowed his eyes.

Was Masamune…flirting?

Right in the middle of a meeting?

Quickly, Yokozawa shifted his vision to the brunette. Bambi eyes were switching between sneaking peeks at the editor in chief and staring a hole through his paper. A bit of red was creeping onto his face, but then, the brunette was always red-faced. Was he flustered because his turn to present was next, or was it because of someone else?

The raven's tone was strictly professional, talking about the plans, but his eyes were totally trying to make out with the green ones opposite him.

Yokozawa looked around the room in disbelief.

Was no one else catching all this?

Blinking rapidly, he moved his sight to the person at the head of the table, who could see everything happening. Isaka-San was smiling manically–but the guy always smiled like that, so Yokozawa couldn't tell if the president of Marukawa actually knew.

He couldn't possibly be overreacting, could he?

''Yokozawa san, is there a problem?'' asked Isaka, catching him glancing around the room.

''No, not at all,'' said the sales staff, still in disbelief. Loudly he cleared his throat as he glanced at the person beside him. A hint of a smile was playing on his lips.

''Everyone,'' said Isaka, calling for attention, waving his raised arms in the air. '' I have good news to share.''

There was going to be a company trip.

* * *

Well, not exactly, just an overnight stay at a hotel in another city. Since it was a triple –manga, light novel, and anime promotion, the upper management decided to hold a special fan signing event as part of their marketing strategy to attract as much hype as possible and boost the popularity among readers. They were doing the event since the manga had been a longtime bestseller there.

''Onodera-Kun!'' greeted the most important guest of the event, mangaka Hayami Shizuka, cheerfully. ''It's so good to see you here.'' The team was getting ready for the start of the fan signing.

''Hayami-Sensei,'' greeted Onodera back, just as cheerfully. '' Good morning! It's good to see you too.''

''How are you doing?'' asked the mangaka.

''I guess I'm doing fine,'' said the editor. '' I'm just busier now with the amount of promotion going on.'' He glanced at the signing table decorated with the pretty ornaments and banners surrounding it. The company even got fresh flowers. ''They really dressed up the place well, didn't they?''

Shizuka nodded, very delighted by the effort put into make it a success. '' Are you nervous?''

''Eh, yes. I do hope the fans will like the light novel,'' said the brunette earnestly, turning red with a hopeful look. It was his first big project where he wrote more than he edited and the brunette was so honoured to be able to work on it.

_I honestly take pride in it…. I really hope the fans like it._

''I think you did a great job Onodera-Kun,'' Shizuka smiled. ''I would buy a copy.''

Hearing the words, Onodera looked away bashfully. ''Thank you sensei.''

''You can call me Shizuka-San, Onodera-Kun,'' said the mangaka. Nervous excitement was written all across her features. '' I'm so nervous about meeting my fans!''

''Onodera!'' Takano interrupted them, having waited impatiently for Onodera to stop batting his eyelashes and giving happy smiles to the mangaka already. '' Stop bumming off chit-chatting and do some work already!''

''Hai!'' Onodera ran over.

''Go bring more books out, we need to display them onto the table,'' Takano ordered, turning green-eyed at having watched them get along so well. Jealousy rose through him in waves. Since when were they were on such good terms?

As Onodera was running back to get the books, Yokozawa happened to enter the stockroom.

''Yokozawa-San,'' he greeted.

The sale staff gave a curt nod of acknowledgment. ''Onodera.'' A beat before his next question. '' So are things going well between you and Masamune?'' He didn't get to hear his reply last time.

''Um… okay I guess.'' That was Onodera's best reply.

Dark eyes narrowed. ''What do you mean by 'okay'?''

''We're doing… fine.''

_I guess we are._

''You better not be fooling around,'' warned the raven's friend darkly. He'd already stepped out of the picture so why was he still hesitating?

''I'm not,'' said Onodera defensively.

Satisfied with the answer, Yokozawa turned on his heels and left.

* * *

The day's plans were executed and the fan-signing event was a roaring success with hundreds to thousands of fans having shown up. After wrapping up the event at the end of the day, it was time to go check into their hotel to rest.

''Good evening,'' said Onodera to the receptionist at the hotel. ''I'm here to check in. My name is Onodera Ritsu and I'm under Marukawa.''

''Good evening sir! Please hold on while we check your details.'' A few minutes later, the receptionist handed him his card, while just then long arms appeared from behind, picking the cards up.

''Takano san, why are you taking my hotel card?''

''You don't know?'' said Takano, updating him on the news. '' We're sharing a room.''

"What!'" exclaimed Onodera, stopping in his tracks. "Since when?"

''You didn't check your email, did you?'' asked Takano.

Onodera grumbled.

At least they were sleeping in separate beds.

* * *

''Wait,'' Onodera stopped, looking at the double bed for two people with a stunned gaze. '' Why is there only one bed?''

''It's a double bedroom,'' replied Takano. ''So, it's for two people. The staff must have accidentally mixed it up for the twin bedroom.''

''Are you sure you got the right cards?'' asked Onodera, giving a highly distraught look, heart beating frantically. Maybe they'd gotten the wrong room. They _must have_ gotten the wrong room.

''This is what the receptionist gave us.''

Grabbing the room cards, Onodera went down to the lobby hurriedly.

''Excuse me,'' he said, rushing to the counter. The receptionist looked up and gave him a pleasant smile. '' Can you check whether I got the right room and hotel cards? My name is Onodera Ritsu.''

''Hai! Certainly, sir.''

Onodera watched the receptionist nervously as she typed the keys onto the computer.

''Hai, Onodera-San. This is the right room and the right hotel card. A double bedroom for Onodera Ritsu and Takano Masamune,'' confirmed the staff, reading off the guest particulars and booking details, probably missing out that two guys were going to share a bed together. '' Is there anything wrong? '' She asked, giving another bright smile.

''Can I have another room?''

''I'm sorry but we're full.''

''Then can I add an extra bed instead?'' pleaded the editor, begging for any other options. Coming out of the lift, Takano came strolling along leisurely.

''I'm sorry but we're out of them,'' apologized the staff.

''What's going on?'' asked Takano, approaching the counter.

_Everything,_ yelled the brunette inwardly. Pursing his lips, he weakly said, '' Nothing. This is the correct room.''

Casually taking the cards, Takano walked back to the lift. ''Let's go then, Onodera–to our room.''

''Why do I have to share a bed with you?'' the brown haired editor questioned, obviously not happy about the arrangement,

''Because the company arranged it,'' said Takano, his fair face scrunched up at having to give an explanation. '' You can complain all you want to the business affairs department when we get back.'' He took a look at Onodera's face. ''What? Are you embarrassed or something?'' sneered the raven.

''I'm not embarrassed!'' Onodera huffed, looking down at the ground in a flustered manner. His voice dropped to a low mutter. '' Just why do I have to share a bed with an animal like you…''

''What did you say?''

''Nothing! ''

''I call first shower,'' said Takano, after they'd briefly unpacked.

Ritsu waited nervously.

He's not going to do anything…right?

The brunette thought that nothing had happened between them on their drinking night. Most likely… Probably.

_I mean..._

Concerned thoughts of sharing a mattress with his boss ran through the brunette's mind. Occupied, he lost track of time.

''What the hell is this?'' complained Takano loudly while coming out of the bathroom, disrupting the train of thoughts running through his neighbour's mind. Onodera jumped at his sudden booming voice.

''This is unbelievable!'' The editor in chief complained further, sounding like a fussy fashionista, referring to the pathetically short yukata he was wearing. It hung like a short dress on his tall frame. ''It's way too small!''

''H-h-huph,'' Onodera snorted, turning away as he tried to stifle his laughter when he saw how Takano looked wearing the yukata.

_Takano san…in a yukata looks so...so…._

Flashing back to what he said during the festival date-about wanting to see the raven in a yukata-he really wanted to burst out laughing. The brunette never thought he could look so funny in one.

''S-sorry, it's nothing,'' he half chuckled and half mumbled, trying to keep the laughter out of his voice. His whole frame was trembling with controlled laughter.

''Asshole,'' Takano called him, sounding pissed. ''I can see your shoulders shaking!''

''There's a spare one here,'' said the brunette, spotting another set folded neatly. ''Maybe that's the small one?''

Holding it up, Onodera let the yukata drop and compared the length with the one on Takano.

Maybe not.

* * *

Nervously, Onodera stepped out of the bathroom, his towel over his shoulder. Eyeing his neighbour suspiciously, he approached the bed gingerly. Takano was already on it, taking the left side.

Hesitating, he sat down on the bed.

''You know,'' said Takano, turning over and looking at him, making a remark. '' This feels like a honeymoon.''

''Absolutely not,'' disagreed Onodera vehemently. ''How is this a honeymoon in any way?''

''It would be if you just say you love me,'' said Takano candidly.

Onodera glared at him. ''Not happening.''

Takano fixed his dark orbs onto him, giving him a stare; one that was a heavy and focused.

The brown-haired male turned to the front, the back of his head facing his neighbour. ''You're not-you're not going to do anything right?'' he asked, afraid.

''I'm not,'' said Takano, flipping around, his back to him as well.

''Really?''

''Really.''

''I'm-i'm trusting you, you know,'' Onodera told him, genuinely believing him.

''I know,'' said Takano quietly.

''G-good.''

Onodera got in hesitantly, painfully aware that they were in a dark room, all to themselves, sharing a bed, and wearing rather loose yukatas too.

_Badump._

Takano shifted.

_Badump._

Onodera flinched from the sudden movement.

_Badump._

Their hearts both beat rapidly in their chests.

_Badump…Badump…Badump._

Nervously, Onodera grabbed the comforter. Beside him, Takano swallowed.

_Why am I so nervous? Takano-San said he wasn't going to do anything._

_Badump…Badump…Badump._

Why was he so aware of Takano's presence beside him?

Onodera shook his head as much as the space on the pillow allowed.

_Why am I getting so worked up about this?_

Shaking any weird thoughts out, he flipped to the other side, coincidentally meeting eyes with Takano, who had turned over as well, their faces inches apart.

_BADUMP…_

Close to each other, Onodera could almost feel the warm exhale of the raven's breath.

_BADUMP…_

Dark brown eyes locked onto green ones in the dark.

_BADUMP…_

''Um…'' said Onodera, getting up. ''I think I'll sleep on the chair instead. ''Anymore of this and he won't be getting even a wink of sleep.

As he rose, leaving, Takano hurriedly grabbed onto him, pulling him back to the bed with force. The brunette stumbled, falling back onto the mattress. Onodera found himself lying underneath him, a shoulder half exposed at the pull of his yukata. With wide frightened eyes, Ritsu looked up at Takano.

_BADUMP…BADUMP…_

Takano could definitely feel the warm breath coming out of Ritsu. Their eyes locked onto each other's. Suddenly, Takano grabbed Onodera's shoulders.

_BADUMP… BADUMP… BADUMP_

Their breath caught in their throat. The sexual tension was so strong, you could slice a knife through it.

_BADUMP… BADUMP…BADUMP_

Takano's eyes roamed, taking in the exposed shoulder and collarbones of the person he loved. The raven's hand was still holding onto the brunette's arm. What was he going to do?

_BADUMP…BADUMP…BADUMP_

Was he going to…going to…

''This is distraction towards work.'' said Takano, grabbing his shoulders tight. ''Go to sleep,'' he ordered.

With that, he immediately dropped back to his side of the bed. Stunned, with his eyes wide, Onodera turned back to his own side, away from his neighbour, crossing his arms across his chest protectively in an 'X'.

On the other side, Takano grabbed his pillow and placed it over his head, squirming around in pent up frustration.

* * *

Facing away from each other, the two editors lay, memories awake in their mind. In the darkness, Onodera had his green eyes half open. The same memory played in the raven's head.

_Fifteen year-old Onodera Ritsu stood at the door, looking into his senior's room with awe. It was filled with books. He was both stunned and amazed at the sheer amount of novels scattered in his cramped room. Saga-Senpai really does love reading._

_''Amazing,'' he muttered, eyes widening as he looked around the place. His eyes landed on the bed._

_Saga-Senpai's bed…_

_BADUMP._

_A strange feeling rippled through him. The young student's hands itched. Onodera wants to….But he shouldn't…right ?_

_Senpai's bed….._

_BADUMP._

_Without a second thought, the high schooler jumped, flying into the air with his arms wide open, landing on the bouncy mattress with a soft 'thud'. Grabbing the golden opportunity, Ritsu took the raven's pillow and inhaled the scent of the person he loves._

_As fast as it had happened, Ritsu then got off the bed quickly, cheeks flaming at the bold move he did, his heart beating wildly_

_Holding on to two drinks, Saga Masamune stood outside the door, his facial expression changing with emotion._

…

''Onodera,'' called the current adult and editor in chief, Takano. ''Are you asleep?'' he asked quietly, the memory done playing in his head.

''No,'' answered the brunette, as another rose in his mind.

…

_On a chilly autumn evening, the two students lay together, resting with their bare selves under a comforter._

_Slowly and carefully, Ritsu tried shifting away without making too much movement, trying to get out of bed. Saga-Senpai had his arms tossed over the brunette. Terribly afraid he would wake the senior up, the brown-haired male stopped. The senior was snoring softly, sleeping away._

_Taking extra care not to make any noise, the brunette reached his arms out, trying to grab his discarded uniform on the floor._

_''Ummm….'' Saga stirred. ''….Rit…su…'' The raven adjusted himself closer to his junior, putting his arms around him, fighting the cold of the chilly evening. The brown-haired male blushed at the sound of his name._

_Saga placed his chin on Ritsu's head and the brunette froze, all thoughts of leaving gone with the autumn cold._

''You better get some sleep,'' said Takano.

''Yeah,'' said Onodera, eyelids closing. ''You too…''

…

Shutting his eyes once more, the brunette closed the window in his head, clearing his mind of any more thoughts.

The alarm on his phone rang. Takano opened his eyes slowly, waking up.

Just beside him, Onodera was still asleep, taking in small breaths in slumber land, his brilliant green eyes closed. Takano studies him. Scrutinizing his face closely, the raven stares longingly at the person beside him, wishing he could hold him close.

Slowly, Onodera's eyes opened, waking up as well.

''Morning,'' said Takano, as Ritsu blinked sleepily at him.

* * *

Taking the train back to their station, Takano took the chance to ask his question. ''So how was it?'' he asked, referring to the fan signing. They were sitting beside each other on the train.

''It was certainly a new experience,'' said Ritsu. He yawned. '' But I didn't expect it to be so tiring.'' The brunette closed his eyes, resting against the train walls.

As their conversation ended, they went back to their own thoughts.

Somewhere along the ride, Takano felt a sudden hit on his arm. Onodera had fallen asleep, dropping his head on the raven's shoulder.

Takano looked down at him. Ritsu probably didn't get enough sleep from last night, considering the amount of work they did during the day. The raven placed his hand on the brunette's head, ruffling his hair gently, not wanting to accidentally wake him up. Thinking that Ritsu was asleep, Takano leaned in slowly, giving him a slow, soft kiss.

Green eyes opened, fluttering for a second before closing shut again, right before Takano pulled back.

* * *

.

.

.

.

.

Author's notes: Helloe peeps! I am very delighted to introduce you to my beta reader **InfinitePanicAttacks33 ***claps*  
She's helping me with the editing, so none of you will be reading my errors anymore XD Thanks dear !


	31. Friends with the enemy

''You know,'' said Takano, an idea forming in his head. ''It's been so long since I've known you and I have never been to your house before.'' He brought up the fact after work, when they were on the train back home.

Guarded, and wary of his sudden question, plus whatever idea he had in mind, Onodera asked, "Why would you want to come to my house?''

''You've seen mine,'' said Takano. ''You've been in my apartment. So that means I should go to yours too.''

''What!'' Exclaimed his neighbour, annoyed with his twisted logic. ''Says who?''

''I said so,'' declared Takano, like he was king. ''What are you so shy about?'' he asked. '' Unless your place is a total mess.''

''It's not,'' Onodera remarked firmly. ''You can't just come over as you please and when you like.''

''That's why I'm asking you, but since you're not cooperating, I see I have to convince you,'' said Takano, having fun teasing him. ''Your parents own Onodera publishing, so you probably had a personal butler and didn't have to do the chores yourself, did you?''

''I had nothing like that!'' denied the brunette hotly at the ridiculous assumption, holding back two words. _You asshole._ ''I cleaned my room myself, you know.''

''So what are you so worried about? Do you have posters of me up on the walls or something?''

''No, that's not it! I mean-'' The brown-haired editor's voice raised an octave higher as he became flustered. The image of how his apartment looked just that morning flashed in Onodera's head. ''You can't come.''

''And why not?''

''Don't you have work?'' asked the brunette, trying to find an excuse, though it was one that was probably true too. ''I'm sure a person as highly regarded as you is busy. Don't waste your time coming over now.''

''I'm glad that you finally recognize my abilities, '' said the demon editor in chief. "Does that mean I can come over?''

''No!'' Onodera raised his voice. ''You can't.'' Then he hurriedly added another line. ''My bed is a single,'' he said, squashing out any ideas his neighbour had.

''Who said anything about sleeping on your bed?'' asked Takano.

Ritsu blushed furiously, realizing he was the one who had the weird thoughts. ''You really can't come.''

''Why not?''

''Because it's really messy!'' admitted Onodera finally.

''So it _is_ messy,'' said Takano. ''Then I'll just come over for a short while.''

''But-''

''Stop arguing with me and just let me sit for a bit,'' said Takano, bringing an end to the arguement.

Onodera sighed.

* * *

''Just for a few minutes,'' said the brunette, reluctantly opening his door. ''I warned you about the state.''

The pair walked into the place, and removed their shoes. Takano surveyed the place. It really _was_ _messy_. There were stray clothes scattered all over, along with some loose papers, but it was still clean enough that it was passable for a single young man.

Takano opened his fridge, wanting to grab a drink. ''What the hell have you been eating all this time?'' he demanded, looking at the energy-drink occupied fridge.

''Just…whatever is in the fridge…'' replied the brunette, feeling like a he was a five year-old, and knowing he was just digging himself into an even bigger hole.

_What makes Takano-San think I would have drinks in the fridge?_

''Energy packs?'' Takano scoffed, sounding very displeased. ''Eating all this junk isn't good for you.'' _No wonder he's so skinny._

''Yes Mom,'' said the brunette dryly, already having gone through this lecture a thousand times. '' I will take care of myself. I will eat my three meals a day. Thank you for your concern.''

The raven took a seat on his couch. Going over, the brunette settled a mug of hot water down on the coffee table in front of him.

''I don't have coffee, so this is all I have.''

"Hmm…'' Takano hummed, his flirtatious tone tickling the brunette's senses. ''How about you stay with me? I can make you meals every day, you know." His eyes slid over to the person of his desire, making him blush.

''N-no thanks!'' spluttered his neighbour, turning his reddening face away.

Takano got up and moved to the sink, starting to do the dishes which cluttered the place. ''I only have books here so you need to find something to entertain yourself with,'' said Onodera.

''Hmmm…we can have a drop by the convenience store and have another drinking game round,'' suggested Takano, purposely bringing that morning up.

''Absolutely not,'' said Ritsu, immediately shooting the idea down with his browns knitted together adorably. There was no way there would be another repeat of that morning. ''I guess you can always do whatever work you have.''

''You've got to be kidding me'' said Takano in exasperation. Of all things, Ritsu had to suggest work.

Onodera looked around his place. ''Well, you can read the books too,'' he said. ''I have Usami's work, and Sumi sensei's works too.''

''I have them too,'' said Takano, pointing out the fact that what got them together in the first place had been their love of books.

''Oh.''

* * *

Onodera sat at the left side of the couch while Takano sat at the right, both leaving a small distance between them.

''…."

''….''

''….''

Silence.

''How long do you plan on staying here?'' asked the younger male.

''Just for a while more,'' said his neighbour, who was starting to grow uncomfortable with his own idea of staying at Ritsu's apartment. The silence grew between them.

Mentally, Onodera considered the list of things they could talk about.

_Should I ask about his previous job? No, then I'll have to bring up Haitani. _

_College years? They weren't good times according to Yokozawa-San. _

_His childhood?… but his parents were never really there…._

They really had no possible topic to talk about.

_God, this silence._

''So…"

''Hm?'' Onodera looked up.

''What do you usually do here?'' asked Takano, thinking about how stupid his question was after he'd voiced it.

''Work,'' answered the host, as if it was obvious enough. ''Read.'' A beat. ''What about you?''

''The same, more or less. I just do more cleaning though.''

''Oh…''

''…''

''…"

''…''

''…''

''…''

''I think I'll go do the dishes,'' said Onodera at last. Unable to stand the absolute silence, he stood up.

''Wait,'' said Takano, grabbing Onodera's arm, pulling him down. ''I want to talk to you. Sit down.'' Doing what he said, the brunette sat.

An excruciatingly long pause passed.

_He said he wanted to talk to me…but there's always this silence between us._

Were they ever this quiet in high school?

_I guess… things have always been like this…._ The brown haired male admitted. _We've always had sort of quietness between us._

Ten years had passed, but it seemed like none of them knew what to do around the other. They were older, but none the wiser.

''So what books do you have here?'' asked Takano.

''Usami Sensei, Sumi Sensei, Classic literature, Shakespeare…'' Ritsu recited the list, counting on his fingers. ''And a lot of other stuff. You can take a look if you want.''

''Oh.''

_I also have some stuff we read from back in high school, t_he brown haired male wanted to say, but the line stayed stuck in his mouth, while beside him, Takano seemed rooted to his seat.

_Should I say something? But there's no point in it._

The editor in chief turned, studying the side of the room where all the books were. Onodera fidgeted with his hands.

''You…''

Curiously Takano looked at him, waiting.

''N-Nothing…'' answered the editor, changing his mind.

Onodera put his hands together, rubbing them. Takano moved his attention towards Ritsu, watching him. The brunette stopped, lowering his head and turning it away.

''…''

''….''

''…''

''…''

Restlessly, the older male got up, going over to the columns of books. Randomly, he picked up an unheard of title.

''Oh, that one's good,'' chimed Onodera brightly. ''The plot is really great.''

A quiet reply came back. ''I see.''

''You can borrow it…if you want.''

The atmosphere, shifted for a moment, then went back to the quiet spear it was, stabbing at both of them relentlessly. Takano glanced at Onodera while the brunette ran a hand through his hair. Stillness surrounded them.

''Takano san…''

''Hmm?''

''How long have you lived here?'' asked Onodera, finding mundane things to talk about.

''I have been living here for a few years, ever since my last job.''

''Oh.''

''….''

''That reminds me," said Onodera, the thought popping up to mind. ''My lease is expiring next month.''

''Hmmm, so you _can_ live with me after all,'' remarked Takano, finding the opening to say something. ''Do you want to live with me Onodera? I can wake you up anytime you like.''

''Ha.'' laughed the brunette skeptically, doubting it. '' I bet you'd kick me out within a week.''

The 365 days were almost over.

* * *

''So,'' said Takano, eyes shifting onto Ritsu, asking something really dumb. ''How long have you been in love with me?''

''If you're going to ask a question like that, then you can take your leave,'' retorted Onodera.

Takano looked around the room. ''Seriously Onodera, is this how you live? You have enough crap thrown around the place. It seems like you lived a pampered lifestyle, my little prince. Didn't you do any chores when you were younger?'' asked Takano. ''Or has it always been a pigsty?''

''Hey!'' exclaimed the brunette heatedly, red colouring his cheeks. '' My room was always clean you know, and I did the chores too. It's just messier these days!''

''Uh huh,'' said Takano, going along with whatever Ritsu was saying, completely un-fooled.

''I told you, there's nothing to do here,'' said Onodera, his turn to sound annoyed. ''If you're so unhappy staying, you can always go back to your place. You're more than welcome to take your leave.''

''You don't have to chase me away so fast you know.''

''Then don't complain about my place,'' said his neighbour snappishly. '' You were the one who invited yourself.''

Wordlessly, Takano looked at the floor. ''I'm sorry,'' he apologized. ''I have always wanted to talk to you. But it's always…. so hard.'' Why were things always so difficult when it came to the person he loves?

For a moment, Onodera almost wanted to say the same thing.

* * *

Takano glanced at the room-the one left partially opened-in the corner of the apartment. He wondered what it looked like, whether his clothes were also spewed over the floor, whether the sheets were outlined with the curves of the brunette's body. He wondered whether the bed was sturdy enough for two people.

The green-eyed editor beside him cleared his throat loudly. For a moment, Takano thought he was caught, but then he realized it was just Ritsu clearing his throat, signaling it might be time to leave. The taller male rose from his seat, approaching the doorway.

''Goodnight Takano-San,'' said Onodera as Takano put on his shoes.

''Goodnight Ritsu,'' said the raven, the name of the brunette spoken like a poem.

They stared at each other for a few seconds, holding each other's gaze.

Takano grabbed Ritsu's face, colliding their lips together while Ritsu put his hands on his waist, holding him close. Kissing each other ravenously with their eyes shut and hands on each other, Takano pushed Ritsu against the wall, kicking his shoes off as they –

''TAKANO-SAN!'' Onodera called him loudly, noticing he had dozed off. Startled, Takano was brought out of his daydream as Onodera waited for him to leave.

''I told you, you can't stay here,'' chastised the brown-haired editor in annoyance. ''You should really go back and get some rest.''

''Right,'' said Takano, realizing it had only been a daydream. Rising to his feet, his eyes flickered towards his host, watching Onodera walking to the door, he sighed.

_Ritsu…._

''Goodnight,'' Onodera said, already waiting at the door-this time in reality. Takano concentrated his gaze onto him, trying to get whatever he had in his mind across.

Blankly Ritsu blinked at him, wondering why he hadn't left yet. ''Is there something wrong?''

''Nothing,'' said Takano, nearly sighing in frustration again. He exited the apartment. ''Goodnight''

* * *

There were days that Onodera and Takano didn't see each other. Sometimes the brown-haired male would go to work alone or go home alone, or both. That day was another such day.

Now that the big project was over and his workload was less, Onodera could knock off from work on time. On the other hand, work was piling up for Takano. The editor wondered if he'd known he was going to be busy and that was why he'd wanted to come over.

Onodera strolled back home, the quiet of the night accompanying him. He didn't spot what the pair in front of him were doing until he got too close.

The pair was leaning against the wall, with the shorter of the two piling against the taller one, making out.

Onodera hurried along, wanting to quickly pass by the lovebirds. Still, a tiny nosy part of him couldn't help stealing a glance at them. He could hardly hold hands. Who had the bravado to make out like that in a public area?

The brown-haired editor was about to get back to minding his own business, when he realized that the couple actually consisted of two men. His surprise turned into shock, and he was even more stunned when he saw that the taller of the two was none other than Haitani Shin, who glanced up upon hearing the approaching footsteps.

Completely floored, Onodera gave a response of utter speechlessness on his face.

''Bye!'' the shorter of the two said, going his own way, and leaving Onodera and Haitani with an awkward atmosphere.

''Oh Onodera-Kun!'' said the outspoken male. '' You didn't see that did you?''

''Er….'' Onodera struggled to answer. ''See what?'' he said, hoping he could be on his way now.

Haitani chuckled at his response, knowing from the brunette's expression that he did in fact see everything. ''Guess you caught me. And I was so sure no one was coming this way,'' he said with a smile. ''I'd appreciate it if you could keep what you just saw a secret." He brought a finger to his lips.

''Eh…Yes, don't worry!'' said the brunette, flustering away. He really did stumble onto someone's secret.

''Well, how about I buy you your silence by treating you to dinner?'' suggested Haitani, giving a friendly smile.

''That's-you really don't have to,'' said Onodera awkwardly, turning down the offer.

''Nah, I've been wanting to have a drink with you for a while,'' explained Haitani, revealing his true purpose.

Onodera considered, recalling the meeting at the train station and how vague the dark-haired editor's reply was when he'd talked about staying away from Haitani.

_Why does Takano want me to stay away from him?_ So far, the other editor had been pretty alright, so he didn't understand the reason, and Haitani Shin _had_ worked with Takano before so technically he would know more about him.

Honestly though, the taller editor hadn't done anything remotely wrong yet, so Onodera didn't think there was anything to worry about.

The taller male smiled broadly, waiting for Onodera to take up the offer.

"I…I guess dinner would be fine."

…

* * *

''I'm really sorry though. It must've freaked you out, seeing something like that all of a sudden!'' apologized Haitani once they'd ordered. They were seated in a restaurant, having dinner.

''Oh no, it's quite alright,'' said Onodera.

''That's good then! Most people are prejudiced against these kinds of things,'' shared Haitani, his easygoing nature showing.

''Eh? Well…It's just there are always those cases where the person you love just happens to be a man,'' said Onodera.

_I suppose that's how things are, sometimes._

A brief look of surprise passed Haitani's face, before he burst out laughing.

''W-what? Did I say something wrong?'' asked the brunette defensively, turning nervous.

''No, sorry. It's just, that's such a shoujo manga thing to say,'' laughed Haitani, recovering quickly. ''It's good though, to have such sensitivity.'' He took a sip of his drink. ''It's important to have that in our line of work.''

Onodera gave a smile back in reply, trying not to let his temporary discomposure show too much. The waiter arrived, serving their dishes.

_Haitani Shin…. Is kind of flighty._

Was he teasing him? The brunette couldn't quite tell. He could sort of get why Takano didn't like him though.

''Takano-San taught me well,'' said Onodera, not really thinking about what else to say.

Haitani's eyes darted to the brunette quickly before settling back on his drink. ''Shame you didn't stay in shoujo though'' he lamented, pouring himself another glass.

''Ah yes, I transferred to literature a few months back.''

''Oh really?'' said the taller male. '' Didn't like shoujo manga in the end?''

''Ah, no!'' said Onodera hurriedly. ''It's just that Literature was originally what I'd wanted, and what I truly like.''

''Ah, I see.'' Haitani nodded. '' It's just that I heard from Saeki-Chan that you didn't really like your job.''

''Oh, not really. I mean, I guess it's fun, but I found out literature was still what I'd wanted in the end.''

''That's good,'' said the taller male opposite him. ''I thought Takano had driven you out with his overbearing ways.'' Before Onodera could say anything, Haitani threw him another question. ''So, why literature? ''

''Oh, I like creating books,'' said the brunette, his green eyes shining with excitement at the mention of it. ''Did you know that there's more than just writing to a novel? There's the cover, the spine, and the choosing of which colour and what material. They say 'Don't judge a book by its cover' but I think it's just as important as the content!''

''Wow,'' laughed Haitani, impressed with his enthusiasm. '' You sound really passionate. Still, I like what you're doing. This line of work is tough after all. Lots of people started off brimming with excitement, but as their stamina sapped away, and their mental fatigue hit, they dropped out.''

''I will admit, it's quite a tough job.''

''I guess editing is a tough job no matter what the genre.'' Haitani took a sip of his water. ''But no matter how tough a session might be, once you've gotten the sample in your hands, it makes you think 'Wow, I can't wait to start the next project! It does remind you of how much fun creating books is.'' He smiled.

Something Takano once said flashed across the brunette's mind.

_Girl's comics… Isn't it kind of fun?_

''Takano-San said something similar before,'' mentioned Onodera.

''Seriously?''

''Yes.''

''Wow, so Takano did? Huh…'' An unreadable look crossed the taller man's face.

''Is something the matter?'' asked Onodera, noticing his expression.

''Oh, nah,'' said Haitani, grinning. '' I think Takano truly is an amazing guy,'' he admitted. ''He was assigned to Earth with me as soon as he joined the company, and in no time flat, he became the ace of the editing division all on his own." Haitani continued explaining. "He made these literary styles that had never run in Earth before, into hit works. They all had this sensitivity that no one could manage to emulate. Before you knew it, the 'Takano brand' had been established.''

Hearing and knowing so much of Takano's past for the first time, Onodera was a bit stunned. He'd known he was well-known among the editors, but never this famous.

''But, well, he kind of did whatever he wanted. That attitude of his ruffled quite a few feathers.'' Haitani recalled the situation then. ''So when he quit, sales of both Earth magazine and related comics plummeted! We were in a really tight spot for a while.''

''Eh? But your sales are doing wonderfully now, right?'' asked the brown-haired editor.

''Because I managed to get the division back on its feet!'' said Haitani good-naturedly. ''But we were seriously up the shit creek back then!''

Hearing all these things for the first time, Onodera chewed his food thoughtfully.

_Takano san is really amazing_, _Haitani as well for putting Earth back on its feet._

_And I guess…._

_There's still a lot I don't know about him._

''Still, I can't wrap my mind around why he would choose to go into shoujo manga out of the blue!'' exclaimed Haitani, not quite getting how Takano ended up there.

''Oh? That was an order from the company,'' explained the brunette.

''Then…that means there's a chance he'll come back to shounen manga one day,'' drifted off the taller male.

''Eh?'' said Onodera, not catching what he meant.

''Oh no.'' His new editor friend waved it away. ''I always wondered why he took up shojou manga all of a sudden. The way he dragged Emerald back from the depths it had sunk. I always knew he was an amazing guy, but not _that_ much," said Haitani, admiration showing through. ''As long as he hasn't grown to hate shounen manga, I guess that's all that matters.''

Onodera blinked, wondering what was going on.

''I just…'' started the grinning editor of Earth. ''I really want to work with him again.''

_Eh?_

They continued talking about work. Haitani talked about what they were doing and Onodera explained the editing process for literature. It was an educational experience. A couple of jokes were exchanged, and many learning points were won for the brunette.

''Thanks for coming with me Onodera-Kun,'' thanked Haitani, happy to have made friends with him. He gives a wide grin to the younger editor. ''Talk to you next time. ''


	32. Questionable character

Onodera stepped out of the office building of Marukawa Shoten, into the bright warm afternoon sunlight of summer.

''Ricchan!'' A high, squeaky voice called out to him. Out of the lobby, the experienced editor, Kisa Shouta, came running after him.

''Kisa-San'' Onodera smiled at the sight of his former co-worker, happy to see him again.

''Are you heading out for lunch?''

''Hai.''

''Great!'' said Kisa, matching his joy. ''Let's have lunch together.''

* * *

''It's been a long time, hasn't it Ricchan?'' said Kisa, unwrapping his Pandaway sandwich.

''Hai,'' agreed the brunette, doing the same thing.

''Ahhh….'' The older editor leaned back in his seat, relaxing during the only break he had in the entire day. ''So how's literature?''

''Oh, it's good there,'' answered Onodera, biting into his food. ''The editors are all really nice, especially Hitomi-the head editor.''

''Hmmmm Ricchan,'' Kisa teased, a sly smile showing up. ''Are you saying we weren't nice?''

''Ah no no, of course not!'' the green-eyed editor smiled, laughing along with his joke. Kisa then slumped against the table, thinking about the approaching death period of the twenty-day cycle again.

''Man, it's totally hectic now,'' said older editor, his youthful features all scrunched up. ''I barely go out for lunch.'' That was the only time he could take a breather. ''Takano-San's still in the office, making phone calls.''

Across from him, Onodera listened to his ex-co-worker, giving him a sympathetic smile as he recalled his days in Maiden Club. ''Ah yes, I remember the times.''

Surreptitiously, Kisa looked over at his lunch mate, who was biting into his sandwich unassumingly. He eyed him with a glint, his gossipy side at attention. ''Hey, Ricchan?''

''Hmm?''

''Are you and Takano-San an item?''

Onodera coughed, choking violently on his food. Hastily, he wiped his mouth, grabbed his drink, and swallowed. ''Ahahaha, why are you asking me this, Kisa-San?''

''It's just that I often see the two of you together now,'' Kisa told him, propping his head on an arm, somewhat amused. ''You guys go for lunch together, and sometimes I see you two going back home too. In the past, I always saw him with Yokozawa-San, going for drinks and all, but now I see him with you. ''

''That's just because we live in the same building. We're neighbours.'' Onodera fumbled, giving a rather flimsy reason. Truthfully, he didn't know if they were 'an item', or even what they were.

Kisa raised an eyebrow. ''Really?''

''We're…''

Seeing the younger editor turning red as he had a hard time coming up with an answer, Kisa decided to cut Onodera some slack, opting to tease the brunette instead.

''Honestly Ricchan, I can't say I'm not surprised,'' said the black-haired editor, giving him a cheeky grin. ''Who knew the demon editor in chief, Takano-San, would go for you?''

Onodera blushed even harder.

Before Kisa could get out another word, Onodera felt his phone vibrating. Taking it out, he checked the caller. Haitani Shin was calling.

''Hello?''

''Hey, Onodera-Kun, Haitani here.''

''Hai.''

''Would you be up for going drinking tonight?''

''Tonight?''

''Yeah. Don't worry; it will only be a short while. I just wanna chill a little after work.''

''Erm…_''_

_Takano-San told me to stay away_

''Come on, Onodera-Kun,'' his new friend persuaded him gently, harmlessly. ''I swear we won't take long.''

_But is there really any reason to?_

''I guess I have time,'' the brown-haired male conceded. _Besides, it's okay to have a social life other than work, right?_

''Great!'' Haitani exclaimed. ''So I'll meet you at Marukawa later?''

''Uh, no!'' exclaimed Onodera frantically, worried that the taller editor might run into Takano. ''I can meet you at the place instead.''

''Alright!'' said Haitani. The brunette could practically hear him smiling through the phone. ''See ya later!''

Onodera ended the call, slightly distracted at the suddenness of it.

''Was that Takano-San?'' asked Kisa teasingly, bringing the brunette out of his thoughts.

''Eh? No, that wasn't him,'' Onodera laughed drily, the blood rushing to his cheeks again.

''Oh? Ricchan's popular~'' Kisa remarked with another cheeky grin as the green-eyed editor turned red again. ''Oh wells,'' the thirty year-old editor said, leaning back in his chair again after a beat of silence. ''I guess that's how things are.''

* * *

''Onodera-Kun!'' Haitani waved at him, showing him where he was seated. ''Thanks for coming tonight," he said, looking glad to see the editor.

''Ah, it was nothing,'' Onodera smiled back at him, settling down. Watching him, Haitani's smile broadened.

''Does Takano-San know you're here?'' he asked knowingly.

''Uh…'' the brunette hesitated. ''…No,'' he said finally.

Haitani poured his friend a glass, looking unbothered by the response.

''I wonder why he hates me so much,'' mused the editor. ''I mean yeah, we had some drama at Earth but I thought he would be over it by now.''

''Drama?'' Onodera echoed.

''He didn't tell you?''

''No.'' At least, not yet.

Haitani trained his eyes on him, and smiled. ''Maybe next time Onodera-Kun. ''

.

.

.

''I wrote the light novel adaption of Shizuka-Sensei's manga.'' Onodera told Haitani as they started chit chatting.

''Really? Wow, that's a really big piece of work, Onodera-Kun,'' said Haitani. ''Must not have been easy.''

''I did have some trouble,'' admitted the editor modestly. ''I couldn't quite translate certain scenes from the manga to the novel.''

''Oh. Like what?''

''Well….some lovely dovey scene between the heroine and the guy.''

Haitani chuckled.

''Did I say something wrong?''

''Nah,'' the taller editor waved. ''It's just really funny hearing the shoujo manga term, 'lovely dovey'.''

''That was what Takano-San called it.''

''Takano, huh?'' Haitani echoed, the editor in chief's name being brought up again. ''I'm surprised someone like him can say that.'' He caught the look on the brown-haired male's face.

''What do you mean?''

''Takano doesn't know the first thing about love,'' said Haitani, looking sure of it. ''That guy can do his job, but he can't do anything in regards to it.''

_Eh?_

Haitani held up his hand, the fingers curved together into a zero. ''To sell shoujo manga about women's dreams-he has no experience to refer to.'' he told Onodera, much to the brunette's confusion.

_How does Haitani-San know this?_

The taller editor poured a drink for himself

_Maybe it has something to do with what happened._

''I can't really drink too much,'' the brunette told him sheepishly as he noticed his friend pouring another glass.

''Work?''

''Not really,'' said the editor, who always had a low tolerance. ''I don't have a good hold for alcohol.''

"Lightweight, huh?''

''Hai.'' Onodera gave him an embarrassed smile.

''Nah, its alright!'' said Haitani, cool with it. ''How much can you drink before you knock out?''

Onodera thought for a minute. ''I'm not too sure.''

''Oh, it's okay.''' The taller editor grinned.

.

.

.

"Thanks for coming tonight," the taller editor put a hand on his shoulder at the end of their drinking session. "Maybe I could bring Saki along next time."

Onodera smiled, brightened by the prospect of having dinner with some friends. "Hai," agreed the brunet merrily. "That would be great."

* * *

"And then she told me to extend her deadline or she else she'd quit!" complained Saeki-San in outrage, retelling the time her mangaka threatened to quit for the hundredth time.

_Wow_, thought Onodera solemnly as he took a sip of his drink, keeping his thoughts to himself. _Saeki-San's writers are as stubborn as she is._

''Saeki, you're drinking too much again,'' Haitani noted casually, earning her ire.

''Not you too, Haitani! '' Saeki whined, grabbing her glass. ''Another fellow telling me what to do… Editors don't have to take other people's crap all the time!'' she yelled, as if she was giving a freedom speech. ''And I wasn't done yet! I told her, 'bring it on sister!''' Snickers from neighbouring tables went around the room.

''You're embarrassing Onodera-Kun here,'' Haitani told her, giving the brown-haired male a teasing smile when he saw how mortified the Marukawa editor looked at the glances they were getting because of Saeki's drunken outburst.

"Hey, Ricchan," the female editor shook his arm, bringing Onodera out of his embarrassment. "Why didn't you bring the demon editor in chief with you?" she asked.

''Um…'' he floundered, thinking of what to say. Unknowingly, the question made his cheeks flush. When did people start putting them together? "I didn't ask him." finished Onodera lamely, trying his best to give a convincing answer. No way could he tell them the real reason was because he would be here flipping their table if he saw Haitani. "Besides, Takano-San is a busy person."

"Awww. . ." lamented the female editor, her cheeks even redder from all the drinking. Lying facedown on the table, Saeki stretched her arms, drawing misshapen circles on the tablecloth with her hands. "I didn't manage to give him my name card last time!'' She grabbed the cloth tightly, groaning at the wasted opportunity. ''And he was so hot. Hey Ricchan, is he single?"

The two editors at the table waited for his answer, all eyes on him.

"I . . . I guess he is. . ." Onodera drifted, not sure what to comment about his status.

_Are we together?_ He wondered. They've been on dates. But did that mean they were a pair? A couple?

Together?

_Honestly, I don't really know._

Does doing all those things together make them a couple? Does it mean they were going out?

The last time he'd asked such a question, he had gotten such a disastrous response.

_Senpai, we're going out right?_

Onodera shuddered at the next line, never wanting to go back to that memory again.

_But then, if we're not dating each other, what are we? Friends?_

Were they even close enough to call themselves that?

"I heard he's a player," Saeki chimed in, probably thinking she sounded helpful with the alcohol making her mind lax, now that she was drunk.

Hearing the words, Onodera snapped out of his thoughts. On the other side of the table, Haitani laughed. "Takano? Ha. No way." He shook his head.

_Eh?_

"How do you know?" asked Saeki suspiciously, in her drunken daze, discontent at her assumptions being laughed at. ''I thought you were the one who said that Takano was a player!''

"I didn't say that,'' said Haitani coyly as he corrected Saeki, noting Onodera's expression. He sent a quick wink to the brown-haired male opposite him. ''Takano's not the type to play with people," the former co-worker said. The editor in chief doesn't know anything about love."He would most probably go out with you for a few dates and dump you on your ass if you waste his time."

''Yeah,'' agreed Saeki casually. ''He seems like the type who would do that. I mean, just look at the ruthless way he works. I heard some scary stuff about him.'' She made a tearing motion with her hands. ''I bet he'll rip anyone's heart to pieces''

Onodera swallowed, feeling uncomfortable. He hadn't had the chance to ask the raven about what had happened in the past, when he was still at Shuudansha.

"But then,'' continued Saeki, going on with her drunken theory. ''He doesn't half ass anything, so maybe he'll chase you till the end."

"Yeah-" said Haitani, taking a swig of his drink. "-Or shred you to complete pieces."

Onodera felt a sick feeling sinking into him, tugging his insides.

"I don't think he's like that," said the brown-haired editor, unable to stay seated there listening without defending him. Takano might be hard to handle, but he's definitely not cruel. As if the point tried to prove itself, what happened all those years ago came flooding back to him. The question. The snicker. And what Yokozawa said.

_He completely fell apart._

And what the raven himself said.

_I love you. No matter what I did, I would always end up thinking of you._

"He's not like that," Onodera repeated to himself firmly, holding onto his conviction.

"How would you know, Onodera-Kun?" asked Haitani, meeting eyes with him. An amused look formed as he weighed the brunette's words. "You can never really know what someone is thinking," the taller editor said, playing with what was left in his glass.

An unsure look cast itself upon the brunette's face as he gave Haitani no response. Doubtful, but unable to deny what they said, the Marukawa editor dwelled on the words. The brown-haired male wanted to disagree with them and argue back, but the truth was that he didn't know much about the editor in chief either.

''Sorry Ricchan,'' Saeki turned towards him, hiccupping. ''I didn't mean to gossip about your f-former boss. It's just that he's so …e-enigmatic!" she said, surprising Onodera at how coherent her vocab was when drunk. The man is the epitome of it. "I still want to exchange cards with him though.''

''Yeah…'' agreed Onodera, drifting off, facing the somber truth.

_There's still so much I don't know about you, Takano-San._

_But…._

"Well," Saeki hiccupped.

_I don't think you're like that-a bad person._

"I wouldn't be surprised if he was a player though. Right, Haitani?" the female editor asked.

Surprised, Onodera looked at them with questioning eyes.

Haitani patted Saeki's back. ''Seems like you drank too much, young lady.''

Onodera watched their exchange curiously, getting more and more confused. What he'd learned today was more than he had bargained for.

_What is going on?_

* * *

"Did we make you uncomfortable?" asked Haitani after they sent Saeki off in a taxi. "Sorry about that, Onodera-Kun, but a guy like Takano is bound to get some backlash."

"I just. . . I just don't think he's like that. And I don't think we should be talking about him like that either.'' Onodera fumbled, trying to explain how he felt; all jumbled up.

"Hmm…'' said Haitani, observing the agitated tone and defensive manner in which he spoke. ''But Takano's 'take no prisoners' attitude of his did ruffle quite a few feathers back at Earth; the guy's bound to get some complaints," stated Haitani. People got what they deserved. The taller editor changed his tone. "But I guess its old news anyways. He's doing well and Marukawa likes him enough," said Haitani. "And, I have to admit, Takano is a man of his word. Whatever he says he'll do, he does it.''

A promise flashed in Onodera's mind.

_I'll make you say you love me again._

Uneasiness suddenly surged through the brown-haired male.

''Can I ask,'' started the brunette. ''What happened between the two of you? ''

_Why does Takano San hate Haitani so much?_

The editor of Earth looked at him wanly. ''You really want to know?''

Onodera hesitated, his heart jumping at the uncertainty rushing through him.

''Hai.''

''You see,'' Haitani gave him a rueful smile. ''I had my lover stolen from me by Takano.''

_What?_

''I don't want to say anything more about this Onodera-Kun,'' the editor told him. ''But if you want to know more, I'll suppose Takano can tell you everything.'' Crystal clear distress appeared in the pretty green eyes of the editor beside him as his posture changed slightly. ''Onodera-Kun,'' Haitani turned his eyes on him, sensing more behind his actions. ''Do you have someone you like?''

''I…'' Green eyes looked wide ahead, his confusion clearing away. The answer was on the tip of his tongue. ''…Yes.''

Haitani looked at him. "I see."

* * *

''Finally going home,'' Takano muttered, dropping down onto the train seat. The cycle was finally over and he was going back home. Next to him was Onodera Ritsu.

''Takano-San…''

''Huh?'' The raven groaned, eyes closed and brows knitted slightly together.

''I…'' Onodera started, but seeing how worn out the editor looked, he closed his mouth. ''Nothing.''

_Would Yokozawa-San know what happened? They're friends after all…._

As the older male yawned, the brunette went back to his thoughts.

_But I don't suppose I can ask him._

_…_

The brunette eyed the editor in chief's back, watching the dark haired male's lean silhouette. Walking behind him, the brunette's sight followed the raven, having not had a good look at him in a while.

_But then…_

He felt warmth wash through him, leaving a sort of longing ache in his chest.

_When did I start…. missing him?_

''What is it?'' asked Takano, who had felt his gaze on his back the whole walk. ''Do you have something to say?''

''No, it's nothing…''

''Just say whatever's on your mind.'' pushed Takano, getting the annoying feeling that Ritsu was hiding something from him.

''It's really nothing.''

''Just spit it out already!''

''I ….'' started the brown haired male very quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. ''… I miss you.''

The dark-haired male stopped, pausing. Staring at his love, he searched for something. Recognition. A confession. The brunette looked away shyly, his blush growing. Then, for a split second, he looked up, back at Takano's brown eyes. Green eyes moved downwards again, before darting up.

Deep brown orbs searched green ones; the pair of brilliant eyes looked back at him, holding his gaze.

''Hey!''

Haitani Shin appeared, suddenly walking over to them. Startled by his sudden appearance, the two editors broke apart.

''Did I interrupt something?'' asked the intruder, knowing the answer himself. Takano glanced back at Ritsu, who went back to his flustered state, looking nervous at being caught together with his former boss, their moment together gone. With a widening smirk, Haitani watched Takano's darkening expression as the editor in chief gave him a fiercely sharp glare.

''What the fuck are you doing here?'' Takano demanded, completely pissed.

''Oh,'' began Haitani casually. ''Onodera-Kun hasn't told you? I live around this station too.''

_So that cold mask can show emotions after all._

''Thanks for lending me the book Onodera-Kun.'' Haitani intentionally mentioned the fact in front of Takano, this time catching a questioning stare. ''I'll return it to you soon.''

''Hai,'' the editor answered as the taller male left them.

Takano's eyes landed on Onodera.

* * *

Back at the hallway of their apartment level, Takano confronted him.

''Why does he have your book?'' demanded the editor in chief, questioning the brunette.

''I lent it to him over dinner-''

''Dinner?'' spat Takano in disbelief. ''Since when did you two start having dinner together?'' Just how long had this been going on? Haitani had been plotting it right under his nose.

''Just recently; we happened to run into each other.''

''How much have you been meeting with him?''

''A few times,'' said Onodera. ''I've been talking to him on the way home on the train, but that's all.''

''Didn't I tell you to stay away from him?'' questioned Takano harshly. ''Why can't you listen?''

''Because I don't see why I have to stay away from him!'' Onodera countered, feeling like he was being interrogated like a criminal. He could make his own decisions. ''So far, Haitani-San has been really friendly to me. I don't see why I have to stay away from him just because you don't like him.''

''Listen up, Onodera.'' Irritation was scribbled all over the raven's face. ''I don't know what sort of magic he used on you, but there's no telling what's going through Haitani's head.'' Takano warned, as he narrowed his eyes into slits. '' I told you; he's not good news. And plus, he's bi.''

''So what?'' said Onodera, clearly nonplussed by the news. ''I don't have to listen to you,'' Onodera mirrored him. ''Besides, I don't think you're in any position to talk about others like that.''

A hand grabbed his wrist, and he was suddenly pushed against the door, held in place firmly by his neighbour.

''Shut the hell up,'' the raven ordered, his hair partially covering his face, hiding his expression. ''I'm nothing like him,'' he stated firmly, tone low and agitated. Putting his hands on Ritsu's face, Takano pulled him in for a kiss, sealing their lips together.

''You're not telling me something,'' said the brunette, eyeing the raven after they parted. He had never seen him so agitated before. The way the iron-fisted editor in chief was behaving-telling Ritsu to stay away, his fierce outbursts, and zero tolerance for the guy-was signaling him that something was wrong.

Takano stilled.

''You've never told me what happened and why.'' Onodera pointed out.

''Come inside,'' Takano said, having to come to this point.

* * *

''Have a seat,'' said the raven, going to the kitchen to grab drinks for him and Ritsu.

_What… what does Takano-San have to tell me?_ Onodera wondered, the thought running across his mind.

''Before, when I was working at Earth, something happened.'' Takano placed the mugs down and settled onto the couch, beside Ritsu. ''I got caught up in Haitani's affairs because the guy he was dating at that time decided that he was in love with me.''

''What?'' questioned the brunette, eyes widening. ''Wait-in love with you? A man?''

''Yeah.''

''In the office?''

''Uh-huh. That asshole Haitani brought his personal problems to the workplace, and it wound up causing an issue with an author.'' Remembering how the situation had occurred, Takano shut his eyes. ''It was horrible.''

''So that's why you quit Shuudansha?'' asked Onodera, referring to the company.

Takano gave him a pensive look, cautious about what he was going to share. ''There's more.''

''Eh?'' Ritsu looked surprised.

''Even though I rejected the guy, he still broke up with Haitani in the end. And soon after that, the girl I was dating at that time told me 'I found someone else, let's break up'.''

_Takano-San was dating a girl?_

''But then-'' Takano continued ''- after we broke up, I heard from another editor that Haitani had seduced her just to steal her away from me. Well even though I said we were dating, she confessed to me and I think it just lasted three days. I didn't care either way. However, it seemed that for Haitani, it wasn't enough for him, so he started interfering with my work.''

_Haitani did all that?_

Onodera was completely stunned, unsure of how to react.

''I told him to cut it out, and to stop interfering with my authors. But he said 'What's wrong with taking revenge on someone who took something precious away from me?''' Takano took a drink from his mug. ''After that, I just couldn't do my job properly, and along with the problems within the management, I resigned.''

_So Takano san had a girlfriend…._

''Do you understand why you have to stay away from him now?'' asked Takano, explaining his history to his precious person.

''Uh, yeah….'' Onodera drifted off, distracted by one fact. ''…so, you had a girlfriend?''

''Were you even listening to me?'' Takano nudged him, annoyed.

''I was!''

''And that's what you're bothered by?'' asked the editor in chief, observing him-his love.

''Eh? No… I mean… its just….''

''She asked me in front of a lot of people in the company while crying. I told her I just wanted to focus on my job and I couldn't treat her right. She was fine with that. It was troublesome, so I just said 'ok' to get her settle down in that situation. I didn't even touch a hair on her head. Are you satisfied now?'' said the raven, going all the way to explain that pointless point to him.

''No...I mean…''

Takano cut him off. ''But also, during that time, I was completely absorbed in my work, and I didn't really have time for love. That's why I thought it would be good if I started trying to date someone.'' Takano leaned back, his head towards the air, a look of resignation on his face. ''But it was impossible.''

_BADUMP_

Onodera felt the strong beat against his chest.

''No matter what I did, I would always remember you,'' Takano told him. Leaning against his love, the editor in chief spilled his confession. ''It's true I was really stubborn. I really couldn't forget you at all. If I had, things would probably be different.''

_BADUMP_

Takano and Onodera were quiet for a moment, before a question from the older male broke through.

''What did he tell you?''

''Eh?''

''There is no way Haitani would not feed crap to everyone around him. What did he tell you?'' asked Takano, wanting to know.

''He…shared some things about you,'' said Onodera, not wanting to further taint Takano's impression of the guy. ''Haitani admitted that you're a really good worker, and it seems like he admired you a lot. And he also said that he wanted to work with you again.''

An angry look flashed across Takano's face.

''What's wrong?'' asked the person he loves, the person beside him–Ritsu.

''Nothing,'' said Takano, knowing full well that Haitani was just trying to get on the brunette's good side through flattery. That asshole. The editor in chief took one look at Ritsu's concerned eyes and sighed.

''I know this is a lot to absorb," said Takano. ''Don't listen to him.'' Taking Ritsu's hands in his, the raven held them. ''I will never forgive him if he hurts you,'' he said, worry and protectiveness tangled up in his tone, his brown eyes wary. ''And…I think he might have found out you're my weakness.'' Takano tightened his hold. ''So do me a favour and just stay away from him.''

''O…Okay…''

_Just since when did things get so complicated?_ Wondered the brunette, still confused about the whole thing as he leaned towards the table to take a drink, breaking free of the editor in chief's hold.

Takano receded back in his seat, watching Ritsu awkwardly taking sips of hot water from his mug, still reeling from the revelation.

_In the end, the person I love–will always be you._


	33. Thinking out loud

Onodera woke up with a jolt, his phone vibrating impatiently beside him. Frantically, the editor grabbed his phone, getting up to answer the call. Was it some sort of emergency? Did the printers get stuck again?

''GOOD MORNING! THANK YOU FOR CALLING! THIS IS ONODERA RITSU OF MARUKAWA SHOUTEN!''

A stunned beat of silence passed, and a confused voice passed through. ''Ritsu?''

''Mom?'' The brunette received another jolt to his mind again, this time coming around to the situation.

_What am I thinking? It's not even time for work yet._

''Good gracious,'' Mama Onodera sighed, something like mad disappointment seeping through. ''Ritsu, what are you doing answering a call like that in the morning?''

''I'm sorry, Mom. I thought it was a call from the office.''

''Are you getting enough sleep?''

''Yes, I'm fine.''

''You're not eating all those convenience store foods or energy packs, are you?'' asked his mother suspiciously.

Onodera grimaced.''…Um.''

''Ritsu.''

The brunette stalled, stuck between giving an excuse or admitting the truth. ''Er…''

''Ritsu!'' Outrage exploded from Mama Onodera, making her son flinch at the shrill voice from the other end of the line. ''How many times do I have to tell you to take care of yourself and stop eating all those crappy junk foods?''

''I am taking care of myself!'' insisted Onodera firmly in response. ''I'm doing fine!''

''Doing fine? Ritsu, how are we supposed to hand over the company to you when you're like this?'' questioned Mama Onodera, worried and angry. Keeping his head down, the brunette received another lecture about who he was and what his future responsibilities were. ''First, it was cancelling the engagement. An-Chan was fine with it, so okay, I let that go. But Ritsu, this wishy-washy attitude has to stop. It's time to realize who you are; the son and successor to Onodera Publishing!''

Frustration was rising within him. ''I do understa-''

''No, you don't,'' argued his mother, their fight escalating. ''You can't even take care of yourself.''

Onodera's chest constricted, suffocating him with heated emotions. Tightening his grip on the phone, he tried to stop himself from lashing out like an immature eighteen year old. ''I'm sorry Mom, let's talk about this next time.'' Quickly, he ended the call.

Slumping against the wall, the editor sighed.

_Well, I do know that I'm at the age where I really ought to start thinking about my future. It's not like I'm getting any younger._

_Even if I'm doing fine at my job right now, taking over a company is out of the question._

Onodera flicked his eyes, thinking.

_I guess, I still have to do it at some point. A family business runs like that, and besides, there's no way I could argue with my parents about this. But then…._

A troubled look clouded his face, caused by one big question.

_Where does Takano-San fit into all this?_

Wearily, the editor pulled himself up, feeling oncoming stress and a stomachache.

_How… is this supposed to work?_

* * *

Mama Onodera sighed, messaging her temple again. Agitated, her stomach twisted, and she moved her hands there instead. The lady had barely said anything and they'd already started arguing in the early morning.

Steeping out of the bedroom, dressed in his working attire, Papa Onodera caught the expression on his wife's pretty features-features that their son inherited.

''Tsuma,'' he said, using the Japanese term for wifey. He spotted the phone on the table, and figuring out what was bothering her, Papa Onodera poured a cup of tea for his wife. ''If you keep frowning, you'll get more wrinkles.''

''Ritsu…that child.''

''What is it about this time?''

The mother of the brunette sipped her tea, hunched over in distress. ''Just another argument we had about his responsibilities.'' Mama Onodera said in exasperation. ''Honestly, I don't know what he's thinking.'' Her eyebrows knitted together, a crease appearing on her forehead.

''Don't worry too much,'' said Papa Onodera light heartedly, giving her shoulders a reassuring squeeze, not the single bit worried himself. ''He knows what he's doing.''

* * *

''Urgh! Finally!'' exclaimed a feminine voice loudly, stomping into the literature editing department. Scowling, the pretty editor with long orange caramel hair walked in, throwing a document on her table as if it was a hundred times heavier. The department staff, including Onodera, looked up due to the commotion.

''Usami handed me his draft,'' Eri Aikawa stated, breathing a sigh of relief with annoyance mixed in her expression. ''Finally.''

''He pushed back his deadline again?''

''He's always pushing his deadline,'' spat Eri, his editor, angrily. She cursed under her breath. ''That rabbit…''

''Aikawa-San, you need to push him harder,'' someone from the office said, reproaching her, finding her not trying hard enough.

''What can I do?'' she exclaimed. ''He's always been a serial offender. I had to chase him around the city to get the manuscript this time.''

''I'm sure she's doing her best,'' Onodera defended. He always saw her rushing around, chasing her author for the drafts, and getting hung up on calls. It was a tough job indeed.

The rest of the team went back to work, not petty enough to pick an argument when they all had a job to do. Eri spotted Onodera in his seat. ''Onodera-Kun,'' she called. ''You were Usami's editor's back in Onodera Publishing right?''

''Hai,'' he answered; hoping no one else would hear it and jump to the same conclusion; that he got the envious position through his family background.

_Well…_

Bitterly, the editor admitted the truth to himself. _They probably had pulled some strings without me knowing anyways._

It felt like anything he did always lead back to his parents rather than him.

''Do you want to have lunch together?'' Eri asked.

* * *

''Ah, finally,'' said the long-time editor of Usami, collapsing into her seat at the table they shared. ''Someone who understands me!'' Eri looked at the brown-haired editor.

''Eh?'' Onodera said, slightly confused at what she meant.

''Seriously.'' she huffed, becoming pissed. ''I get no sympathy from these guys. They don't even know how hard it is to manage an erratic writer like Usami-San.'' she said, finally having someone who could relate to her. Onodera smiled awkwardly at her. ''He has no fixed schedule. He writes what he likes, when he likes, and I always have to push the deadline.'' A fork in hand, she stabbed at her salad fiercely. ''Did you have such a hard time with him Onodera-Kun ?''

''Not really,'' admitted the author's former editor sheepishly. ''He usually submitted them on time.''

''Lucky you,'' she said, taking a sip from her coffee. ''I had to tear down the doors of his house to get to him,'' Eri told him, sounding like she wasn't joking.

The brunette blinked his green eyes, trying to show the brighter side of the situation. ''But I'm sure reading and editing his drafts are always a pleasure,''

''Yeah,'' admitted Eri grudgingly. ''It is. Usami is a gifted writer. It's his bad habits that needs work.'' The female editor chewed her food and swallowed. ''Say Onodera-Kun, what do you think Of Usami's writing now?''

''Well,'' said his former editor. ''Usami sensei's stories have a wide range of style, but it's always elegant and refined. His work needs nearly no editing. Other than the minor mistakes, Usami-San's writing is almost always flawless.''

''That's true.''

Onodera remembered the time he came across the renowned author's works in his younger teenage years, when the great author had just debuted. The brown-haired youth was already an ardent fan since his first few novels.

''But I noticed his stories have changed a bit,'' said the fanboy editor, stating his observation. ''Usami sensei's works usually have rather depressing endings, but I noticed that his newer stories have a 'softer' feel, '' Onodera explained, a thoughtful look on his face.

Eri considered this, eating politely.

''Well, yes.'' she said, agreeing, and then she thought for a while. ''But I suppose his BL works are just the same,'' she added, talking about his other more discrete projects. ''If not, even better."

''BL?!'' Onodera exclaimed in shock, sputtering his drink all over.

_Since when did Usami-San ever write BL novels?!_

''You didn't know?'' asked the current editor. ''Oh right, they're under a different name'' remembered Eri, frankly not bothered about letting Onodera in on the secret. ''Don't tell anyone I told you that.'' She winked.

''When did Usami-San start writing BL?'' asked Onodera, completely surprised. The brunette would have never pegged the refined author as the type to write that genre.

Eri huffed. ''Don't be fooled by him, Onodera-Kun. He writing style may be refined, but his personality is not.'' The brunette must not have been there to see the author lying on the floor like a half-dead zombie, or the times she walked in on him and Misaki doing what bunnies do. ''He's been writing them for a few years as part of his hobby.''

''Oh,'' blanked Onodera, smiling feebly at this new knowledge of one of favourite authors like he'd just been told one and one doesn't equal two.

_I wonder where he gets his ideas from?_

Anticipation shone in Eri's eyes. ''Onodera kun, have you been in charge of BL stories before?''

Onodera sputtered out his drink again. ''Ahahaha… I'm sorry Aikawa-San, but I have never edited BL before,'' he apologized, much to her disappointment, feeling awkward as hell.

The female editor tsked at the answer, feeling let down. ''I thought I could finally have someone to discuss BL stories with. Someone who knows how it works.''

''I'm sorry, I can't share your interest,'' apologized the brunette again, being reminded of the BL fangirls from the manga aisles. A flash of his high school days in a raven's bedroom appeared in his mind. Onodera shook his head.

''But'' Eri considered, thinking back to Usami and the years she'd known him so far. ''I suppose having someone special in your life does make a difference.''

''Eh?'' wondered the brunette.

''Oh, it's nothing, Onodera-Kun,'' said Eri, wiping her mouth daintily. ''It's just that Usami's life has changed a lot in recent years.''

* * *

_That special person, huh._

Onodera pondered, strolling back home, thinking about his relationship with Takano.

_What are we, friends?_

The editor had sort of lost track of the number of times he'd wondered about their relationship, and the number of times he didn't have an answer.

It was like high school all over again-when they just hung out with each other, content with each other's presence.

_If it got out that two male employees were dating… I couldn't possibly keep my job here._A gloomy look clouded his expression. _I couldn't possibly get hired in this field again. PERIOD. That is, after all, a much bigger problem to consider first._

Onodera made a face.

_What's the point of two guys dating anyways?_

It wasn't like they could move things along until they eventually reached their happy ending. The truth was that the future was full of the unknown.

_And there's the thing with Mom too. How am I supposed to take over a company when I can't figure this out? Where does Takano fit into everything?_

_Besides, I don't even know what Takano expects from all this. We're not going to turn out like a couple from a manga where they realize they love each other and start living happily ever after together._

_BADUMP._

With a quick rhythm, his heart started pounding, sending heat travelling to his cheeks

_Even if I know how I feel about him, and how he feels about me…_

Haitani said that Takano-San knew nothing about love, but Onodera was just as clueless.

_In reality, there's still further to go after the ''happily ever after'', and it's terrifying._

Suddenly, Onodera's phone began vibrating.

_"Haitani Shin Calling"_

Cautiously, the brunette stopped walking, answering the call.

''Hello?''

''Onodera-Kun!'' greeted the tall editor cheerfully. ''Do you want to go out drinking tonight? Dinner's fine too.''

''Um…I'm afraid I can't join you tonight,'' said Onodera, turning down the editor's offer, his heart beating nervously. Takano had told him everything, but honestly, the brown-haired male was still confused about what to do. One was a new friend he'd made, the other was…

_I better just stay away for now._

''Is it because of Takano?'' The knowing tone asked again.

''I can't meet up so often now.''

''Because of work, huh?'' Haitani made up an excuse for him, figuring out what was probably going on by now. His voice carried a smile over the phone, easy going and agreeable. Takano was pulling the plug on their meetings already. ''It's cool Onodera-Kun,'' he said. ''I'll catch up to you next time!''

The brunette hung up, the time he'd had dinner with Haitani and Saeki refreshed in his mind. The words from then still played with him.

_Takano's not the type to play with people._

_He doesn't half ass anything though, so maybe he'll chase you till the end._

_I don't think he's like that._

_You can never really know what someone is thinking._

His heart felt heavy.

_I love you, Onodera Ritsu._

BADUMP… BADUMP… BADUMP…

_You don't even know anything about him_…Yokozawa had once said.

Onodera took in a deep breath.

_I really want to know more about you._

He decided to start moving again, his feet working to take steps.

_Takano-San._

* * *

''What are you thinking about?'' asked Takano. Going back home together the next day, the editor in chief had sensed something bothering his important person. Ritsu had a troubled expression on him all day.

''I…''

''…''

''I…''

Takano waited.

_I want to know more about Takano-San._

_But where do I start?_

''I'm just wondering how we ended up like this,'' said Onodera, his courage at voicing out his real intentions running away. Had they always been like this?

_They had._

He didn't know much about him in high school, and he still didn't know anything about him now.

''What do you mean 'like this'?'' questioned Takano, not liking the way it sounded. What was wrong? It wasn't like Ritsu was frowning all the time when he was around him. Was he only putting up with him all this time?

''Like this,'' said Ritsu, gesturing in their general direction.

''What is 'like this'?'' asked Takano irritably.

''This.''

''And what the hell is this?'' snapped Takano, exploding.

Ritsu turned quiet for a moment, looking down on ground. Silence engulfed their conversation.

'_Shit,'_thought Takano, wondering whether he went too far in losing his temper. Hanging his head low, Ritsu looked miserable.

''I mean…'' started Ritsu quietly, like a mouse. The younger male turned his troubled emerald eyes away. ''I… I want to know more about you,'' he blurted, blushing heavily with embarrassment at his outburst. Takano was looking at him with shocked face. '' I just want to know more about you…''

Despite knowing each other for so long, and going out together, they still didn't know a speck of each other's life, which sounded impossible.

''Up until now, I still don't know anything about you.'' Exhaling greatly, Onodera got up, resignation coating his words. ''Forget it. Pretend I didn't say anything, Takano-San. I'm going home.''

''Wait,'' Takano grabbed onto Ritsu's arm, holding onto him as his piercing gaze settled on the brunette opposite him. ''What do you want to know about me?''

_What should I ask about? I mean there's so much I want to know, but where do I start?_

Takano stares at the ground. Onodera fidgeted with his hands. They both had nothing to say.

''Oh, did you know that Usami-San writes BL?'' exclaimed Onodera, bringing up the fact in an animated manner, the fact popping into mind.

''Seriously?'' said Takano, the for the first time having surprise take over the indifferent mask of his.

''Seriously!'' laughed the brunette, still in disbelief, then he stopped himself in realization. ''Oh! I forgot I shouldn't tell you that.'' The younger male remembered, temporarily distracted by his excitement of sharing the news.

''Ah….''

''So…''

''...?''

''Nothing….''

''…''

''How was studying abroad like?'' asked Takano, searching for some topic.

''It was a nice experience,'' said Ritsu. '' I learned English, made some friends.'' Silence permeated the air between them for a short while. The atmosphere grew thick and heavy, neither of them knowing what to do.'' I… I tried very hard to forget you there…''

Takano glanced at him. '' Is that so?''

The brunette looked on wistfully. ''But it seemed like you kept showing up everywhere.'' In his textbooks, in his classmates, on the way home, even in his dreams. ''For the first few months, I didn't go to the library because I was so afraid you'd show up there.''

Onodera looked at the ground, head lowered. All his efforts pushed through, and he had managed to scrub his memory clean of his first love. But he could never force the ache out of his heart every time he started a new relationship. Every now and then, a little fragment of what had been would pass through, the memory of the pain. Ritsu turned around, looking straight at him.

_You haunted me._

* * *

''Takano-San, you moved after you're parents got divorced?'' Onodera asked, the questions and curiosity biting at him.

_Did anything happen after that?_

_He said he moved back afterwards… and tried searching for me._

''Yeah,'' said Takano, his turn to brood. '' I moved back to my mother's hometown after they got a divorce-to Shikoku.''

''Where's there?'' asked the brunette curiously. He'd never heard of that place.

''Kagawa,'' Takano told him, referring to the prefecture in Japan. ''Like you, I moved right after the first semester of my third year and spent the rest of my time till graduation there. Then I came back to Tokyo for college.''

_Kagawa prefecture…I see,_Onodera wondered.

Takano continued, and to Onodera's surprise, he saw a small smile creeping onto the quiet raven's indifferent features. ''My mother's hometown is way out in the boonies, but I thought it was a really nice place."

Learning something new, and seeing Takano smile, something which was unlike the raven, made the brunette blush.

''Ah, I see…it sounds like a really nice place,'' Ritsu commented. If it could make him smile, even just a bit, then it must be. _I wonder what Shikoku's like._

''It is,'' said Takano, noting the pondering look on his love's face. ''Maybe I could take you there someday.''

Surprised, Ritsu asked, ''Really?''

Takano looked back at him. ''Why not?''

A fluttery feeling blossomed inside the brunette, and colour rushed to his face. Takano saw his lips form into a smile.

* * *

The silence took over again.

''I-I'' Normally the raven was very loud, shouting and yelling at the staff, but with the person he loved, he could hardly find the strength to get a question out. Onodera stayed quiet. Instead of voicing his questions out, he turned them towards himself.

''Why did you like me so much?''

''What?'' blurted Ritsu, flushing at his sudden question.

_What do you mean?_

''Why did you like me so much?'' repeated Takano. In high school, Ritsu was head over heels in love with him without knowing anything about him, blushing and stammering at the sight of his beloved senior. After so many years, he never understood why. ''You mentioned before it would take three days back then. Now would be a great time to tell me why.''

The time when the editor-in-chief asked the same question ten years ago in the school library re-surfaced.

''We have all the time now,'' said Takano.

''I… I…'' Ritsu floundered, lost at what to say. ''Why are you telling me this?''

''I want to know.''

''Did I really say that?'' asked the Ritsu, failing to remember.

Takano glanced at him, holding a steady gaze. ''That was what you said.''

''I… I…'' Struggling for an answer, Ritsu lowered his gaze resignedly down…I don't know,'' he answered honestly. It might take three days to explain how he felt; how just being near the senior, and sharing a common world of books was enough to make him so happy.

_I really wish I could say why, to put all these emotions into words. But when it comes to you, they're always so lacking._

''You were-you were nice,'' Ritsu told him quietly. _Takano-San probably doesn't know-or remember._

''Nice?''

''The first time I met you, you helped me reach for a book,'' the brunette told him, their first meeting replaying in his head, the moment when he fell in love almost instantly.

_At that short moment, my brain turned into mash. All I could feel was my heart racing._

A beautiful shade of warm red tinted his cheeks. ''And you adopted Sorata.'' He continued. ''I know it's dumb-feeling love for such a trivial thing like that,'' said the brunette. ''But that was what I felt.''

''I see,'' said the editor-in-chief quietly, his stillness covering his discomposure. He never would have thought things would start so simply. ''Then-'' Takano hesitated, almost like he was afraid, almost like he was trying to hold back. ''How much do you like me now?''

''What do you mean?''

''How much do you like me?'' asked Takano, wanting to know the answer he so badly needed to hear.

_I need to know._

Onodera turned away, silent for a moment. ''A lot,'' he admitted softly, reluctantly.

''How much is that?''

_I want to hear Ritsu say it._

''A lot,'' Onodera said again, trying to put a gentle stop to the questions. He used a different tone, a kinder one. ''A lot.''

_So much._

* * *

''Why do you like me so much?'' blurted Onodera, the rash courage appearing out of nowhere. He blushed at his bravado, before he let the atmosphere turn heavy again.

Takano looked at him curiously, wondering what he meant.

''I just… I just don't understand why you like me so much,'' said Ritsu, turning away. Why of all people did he choose him–twice?

''Because you're you,'' said the raven, echoing the words said by the brunette ten years ago, when he was the one who'd asked instead.

''What kind of logic is that?'' asked the brunette softly, looking at him.

''The kind of logic it is,'' answered Takano, pulling Ritsu in for a kiss.

* * *

''You were my first love,'' Takano told him.

_You probably didn't know_

''What?'' asked Onodera, not quite believing his ears.

''You were my first love,'' Takano told him again, meeting his green eyes. ''I never loved anyone else but you.''

Caught by surprise from his kiss and confession, Ritsu sat there, unmoving. What do you do when someone tells you that you are the only one they've loved?

_It has always been you._

''I….''

''And I still love you,'' said Takano, looking directly at him, putting everything out on the open. Takano wanted him to know, he wanted Ritsu to know, to not leave any more misunderstandings.

He pulled the brunette in for a hug, the piece that'd been missing for ten years. ''I love the current you, the person you are now. I love you, Onodera Ritsu.''

As the raven held him, Onodera pondered to himself. _Takano-San…_

''Don't you ever forget that.''


	34. Reality Check

Another day in the office, another day working for the staff of Marukawa Shouten.

Walking down the hallway, the brunette editor happened to run into the managing director of the company.

''Oh, Nanahikari!'' Isaka greeted him in a hilarious, and most likely unintentionally offensively manner.

Annoyed for a split second, the heir to Onodera Publishing corrected him. ''My name is Onodera.''

''How're things going for you?'' the managing director asked, checking up on his employee.

''Fine, I guess.''

Just then, the black-haired editor-in-chief happened to walk past.

''Oh that's good to hear. And how's that fiancé of yours?'' Isaka corrected himself. ''Or should I say, ex-fiancé?''

''Ahahaha…Isaka-San.'' Onodera felt himself being stabbed by awkwardness and some guilt. He hadn't spoken to An-Chan ever since the incident.

_I really should call, just to know how she's doing._

''Ah, I see. No talking about the ex, huh?'' Isaka joked. ''Your father's a good man,'' he told Onodera, wanting him to understand that the man just wanted to help his son.

''Wait, Isaka-San, you know my dad?'' asked Onodera, surprised.

''We've been golfing buddies for years.''

''Oh really?'' Even more surprised, Onodera apologized. ''I apologize. I didn't know."

Unbothered, Isaka waved it away, revealing another fact.''He also consulted with me his concerns about you being hired here,'' he told him, leaving.

''Isaka-San!'' The editor called, catching up to him, wanting to know the truth. ''Did my father really consult with you about this?''

Truly shocked, the editor never expected to hear about this piece of news. He was only in Marukawa because of his dad?

Isaka turned around, regarding him coolly. ''Forget I said anything. Your father had nothing to do with you working here now, so don't worry about it.'' Words meant to clear his doubts, only affirmed them.

Staring at the floor, the brunette took in what he'd just heard.

_The department aside, I thought I had made it here based on my own merits, but I guess even that was through my dad._

Quietly standing to the side, Takano listened in on the conversation.

At the platform, an incoming train approached.

* * *

Stepping in, Onodera headed for the seat nearest him and dropped onto it. A heavy bag landed on his lap, its cold temperature seeping through. Takano had boarded with him.

''Is this alcohol?'' asked Ritsu, wondering what was going on.

''You talk a lot more when you're drunk,'' said Takano.

''Huh?''

''I'm saying I'll listen to you rant.''

''About what?''

''About what's bothering you. You had this look just now when Isaka talked to you.'''

''Thanks but no thanks,'' said Ritsu. He'd rather not complain to someone like Takano. It's not like he could understand.

''Does the mention of riding coattails and having friends in high positions bother you?'' asked Takano since Ritsu wasn't talking.

''How did you know that's what we were talking about?'' asked Ritsu, surprised.

''You and Isaka were talking there in the middle of the hallway, as if you wanted the whole world to know.''

Onodera said nothing.

''You just happen to be a step ahead of others. You should take advantage of that and move even further,'' said Takano, seeing things from a different viewpoint.

''Based on what? My capabilities, or theirs?''

_The more my father helps me out, the more I realize I have no abilities of my own._

''I don't think someone who hasn't been in this position before could understand,'' explained the editor. There was no way a capable person could understand his situation. All they could see was someone complaining about something everyone else would like to have. He was grateful, yes. He had a lot of things many people around the world didn't have. But this title came with a label.

''God, I hate people who keep thinking over pointless shit,'' the editor-in-chief commented.

A stormy expression clouded the brunette's face.

''Then don't ask!'' said Onodera, snapping at his insensitive remark. ''If it was easy to gain confidence in my situation, i would have done so long ago!''

Obviously mad at Takano, Ritsu blatantly ignored him and slapped his hand away when he tried various times to run it through his hair

For the first time, Ritsu might've actually been really angry with him.

* * *

Ritsu was ignoring him.

''Onodera''

Silence.

''Onodera'' Takano called out again.

Ritsu didn't respond.

''Onodera.''

''Wha-''

Takano poked him on the cheek.

''Oi!'' protested Ritsu. ''What are you doing?'' He turned to look at Takano with irritated eyes, still mad at him. The older male said nothing, and Onodera walked off. A moment later, however, Takano caught up to him and nudged the back of his knee.

''Oi!'' exclaimed Ritsu, really annoyed now. ''Would you stop doing such childish things already?''

He glared at Takano, making him sulk like a small kid who didn't get what he wanted. Onodera stalked off in the direction of his home, finding himself in a bad mood.

Takano sighed inwardly. Great, he'd managed to turn his love into a petulant teenager, and now he wouldn't talk to him.

* * *

Ritsu was still ignoring him.

''Are you really gonna ignore me like this?'' asked Takano, irritated. It was the next morning, but it was no different from last night, except for the slam of his door.

Walking to the station together, it was like he wasn't there. Frankly, it wasn't that much different from how they usually were–not talking-just that Ritsu was blatantly ignoring him this time.

Onodera looked away from him. At this point, the editor-in-chief wondered whether he was just doing this on purpose.

With nothing else to do, the raven followed closely beside him. A small soccer ball rolled to gradual stop at his feet, and a little kid accidentally bumped into Takano as he ran down the street while chasing it. Bending down, the raven picked up the ball and passed it to the small child.

A young lady came rushing over, pulling her son back. ''Haruki! Don't run off like that!'' she chided fervently, before turning her attention on Takano. ''I'm sorry for my son.'' she apologized.

''It's alright,'' Takano flashed her a pleasant smile, giving off friendly vibes. Ritsu simply watched from the sidelines.

''Haruki, what do you say to this nice man?''

''Thank you,'' the small boy said shyly, taking the ball from his hands, and adding his honorifics. ''Oji-San.''

''O-O-Oji S-San?'' Takano blinked, while next to him, Onodera tried to stifle his immediate laughter. The little kid was busy playing with his ball again, too occupied to notice Takano's reaction at being called an uncle.

''Thank you so much,'' Snips of laughter sputtered out from the brown-haired male as the mother hurriedly took her leave. A priceless look of shock was still plastered across the raven's face.

''Y-You're welcome...'' Takano muttered, pointedly turning back to give Onodera a look.

''O-Oji San…'' The brunette's frame shook, shaking with laughter.

''What the heck,'' Takano scowled. He wasn't even thirty yet, but he was already being mistaken for one. Even Yokozawa hadn't been called that yet.

''I'm sorry,'' apologized Ritsu after he was done laughing at Takano's plight. The editor-in-chief narrowed his eyes, glaring at him in displeasure, which only added seniority to his looks.

Ritsu managed to get himself under control, beginning to chuckle again after sparing a glance at Takano. The editor-in-chief glared again, but his gaze softened when magnificent green eyes twinkled with light amusement in his direction. Bright laughter rang in his ear as the corner of the editor's mouth lifted. Takano could feel his heart soaring.

_Badump._

Ritsu was smiling at him.

* * *

''Are you feeling alright?'' asked Takano over lunch a few weeks later, noticing how pale Ritsu looked.

''Eh?'' said Ritsu. ''I'm fine,'' he answered with a sneeze, feeling a bit more tired than usual, though that wasn't anything new. Briefly, he glanced at the raven. Unconvinced, Takano inspected him through the lens of his specs.

''I'm fine.''

''Hmmm…'' Without warning, the raven leaned in, suddenly putting their foreheads together. If the brunette wasn't burning up, he definitely was now.

_Badump. _

Intense brown orbs stared at him.

_Badump._

Startled by the close proximity of their lips, Onodera pulled back.

''Doesn't feel like you have a fever,'' concluded Takano, still wondering whether Ritsu was lying.

''I said I'm fine,'' insisted the brown-haired male, brushing off his recent exhaustion.

Continuing to stare at him, Takano scrutinized the person his loved.

''I suppose you are.''

* * *

Takano answered his phone.

''Isaka-San,'' Takano greeted the director of Marukawa Shouten.

''Takano-San,'' said Isaka gravely, sounding unlike his usual cheerful self. ''I've already told the literature editor-in-chief about this, but there's something I want to talk to you about.''

''What is it?'' asked the editor in chief, busy going through the some papers.

''Onodera passed out at the printers. I'm taking him to the hospital now.''

''WHAT?!'' Immediately, Takano stopped moving, his eyes wide in alarm. The news shocked him to his core. Around him, people were turning to look. ''WHERE IS HE?''

…

''ISAKA-SAN!'' Takano stormed into the waiting room, spotting the guy. ''How's Onodera?''

''He's in the exam room right now,'' Isaka told him. ''They had him hooked to an IV drip earlier.''

_IV drip…_

''What's the matter?'' demanded Takano heatedly. Deep down, he was afraid to hear the answer. What if there was something seriously wrong with the person he loved?

''They're probably telling him now.''

''But how were you there on time?''

''I happened to run into him at the printers before he fainted. He woke up in the car, but I figured I should bring him here anyways.''

''I see,'' Takano said. ''Thank you for bringing him.''

''Nah, don't sweat it.'' A brief moment of cheerfulness passed through Isaka's features, but soon returned to the solemn look he had before. ''I figured with his family the way they are, it was better to call you up first before there was a fuss.''

The door opened, and Onodera walked out, still looking a bit woozy.

''Takano-San?!'' The brunette straightened with a jolt, like he'd seen a ghost. ''What are you doing here?''

''Oh, sorry, I called him.'' Isaka apologized. ''So what's the cause?''

''Lack of rest, stress and general neglect of health, and a cold on top of everything.''

Takano fumed.

''Ah, Isaka-San, I'm so sorry for causing you all this trouble," Onodera apologized profusely, bowing.

''Nah, it's okay. Just take care of your hospital fees first,'' said the man, waving Onodera's concern away.

''That little….'' Takano continued fuming. He knew Ritsu couldn't do the chores or eat right, but to drag his health to this point was-

''By the way, Takano,'' Isaka started, ''how's Onodera doing?''

''What do you mean?''

Isaka folded his arms, running through the recent events with him. ''We were having a chat earlier, and he seemed kinda backed into a corner when I talked to him. It seems like he's doing his work just fine. So I'm asking you, how is he doing _mentally_?''

''Why are you asking me this?'' asked the raven. He was no longer the one in charge of the brunette.

Isaka smiled at him. For a short moment, the unspoken but known was out in the open. ''You're the one closest to him, aren't you?''

Brown eyes widened, and Takano shifted away. He had no answer to that.

''Isaka-San,'' Takano asked quietly, having no clue of Ritsu's personal life. ''His family does plan to have him take over the company, right?''

''Well, duh.'' Isaka stated. ''Onodera Publishing is a steadfast family business, you know. Granted, it's not like I don't understand wanting to rebel against that sort of thing. Of course, he's under pressure from his family's expectations and societal values. And then seeing how his own abilities fall short of him, the more he discover about himself, the harsher reality seems.''

Takano remembered a phone call Onodera had received once from his mom during office hours. Then he remembered meeting the lady the time they were supposed to have lunch together. Most importantly, he recalled what he had said on the train.

_I don't think someone who's never been in this position before could understand._

''Just bear in mind, these are some of the problems he might be facing,'' Isaka told him, taking his leave.

Moments later Onodera came back, still looking like he was in a half-conscious daze.

''T-T-Takano-San,'' the editor stammered. ''What are you still doing here? And where's Isaka-San?''

''Isaka-San left.'' A murderous air surrounded the raven. ''So you were sick after all.''

Onodera gulped.

* * *

Angrily, Takano stomped into Onodera's apartment, heading straight for the fridge.

''You're still eating this crap?'' the blacked-haired male snarled, angry at Ritsu for not taking care of himself. His ire was only fueled by the state of Ritsu's messy and neglected apartment.

''I eat other food!''

''Like what?''

''Puddings... and …'' Onodera lowered his head. ''... I'm sorry.''

A moment passed, neither of them saying anything.

''I'm really sorry. I didn't know it was this bad,'' said the brunette, honestly having no clue. He'd thought everything was fine, or at least under control, but the anxiety and stress had caught up to him.

Takano sighed. ''You really….'' He drifted off. ''Go get some sleep,'' he ordered. That was the first thing Ritsu needed. Takano directed him to the bedroom, following after him, wanting to make sure he was really getting some rest. Sitting down on the bed, he asked, ''so what's this stress about?''

''I want to catch up.''

''What?''

''I want to catch up to you,'' Onodera told him. ''I want to catch up to where you are.'' Maybe things would be easier to figure out if he were where Takano was. ''I know they say I'm doing fine at work, but then…it always feels like I can do more.'' Achieve more. ''It feels like I'm not making any progress.''

They were now back to back; there was no wall in between them.

''Are you an idiot?'' Takano said, realizing the amount of stress Onodera was piling onto himself. ''You can't just achieve success overnight. It took me years to get to where I am today.''

''I know,'' said Onodera, which was why he had to work harder. ''Which is why I'm doing all of this.''

''What's the point of all of it when you can't take care of yourself mentally and physically?'' questioned Takano, raising his voice. ''You idiot.''

''I…I'm sorry,'' apologized Onodera, forgetting the most basic point of things.

The raven ran a hand harshly through his hair, warning the person he loved. "Just, seriously, don't collapse like that again.''

''I'm sorry.''

Wordlessly, Takano glanced at the floor.

''You know, it's pretty funny…'' Takano drifted off with a chuckle, finding the silver lining in the situation. ''After all this time, you're still chasing me. . . even now.''

_Oh._

Onodera widened his eyes, realizing the truth for himself. ''Yeah…''

_Before I knew it, I was chasing you._

''Get some rest. I'll be coming back later,'' Takano told him. He rose to his feet and just barely got a short distance away when he felt a tug on his shirt. Ritsu was holding onto him with his head down, like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

''You don't want me to go?''

Ritsu held on. Always–always–feeling like he could never reach the senior.

Seeing that the brunette wasn't going to say anything, Takano settled beside him. Pulling him in, he lied down, Ritsu under his chin as he held him tenderly.

''You're not going to push me away?''

''No.''

The comfortable warmth of being with the raven made everything feel immensely better. Enveloped by Takano's heat, Ritsu shut his eyes. The soothing feeling of being held and surrounded by assuring warmth comforted him. Takano wrapped his arms around him, holding him dearly. Ritsu put his own arms around him, and slowly shut his eyes.

_Because_,_I don't want to let go anymore._

* * *

The bright chirping of birds and sunlight greeted the brunette in the morning. Waking up, Onodera smelled cooked food coming from outside his room.

''You're finally awake,'' Takano remarked, at last seeing the brunette up.

Ritsu stepped out, finding his apartment spick and span, clutter free.

''Takano-San, did you clean my apartment?'' the editor asked, not believing the sight in front of him. The place looked almost new.

''Of course I did,'' answered Takano, putting two bowls of rice on the table. Ritsu watched dumbly as the raven continued to serve their breakfast. ''You really had a load of clothes to wash.''

''Excuse me, but how long did I sleep?''

''Two days."

''TWO DAYS?! '' Onodera repeated, shocked to hear how long he'd been out.

''You must be completely shagged if you slept this long,'' said his neighbour. Pulling out a chair, he sat down. ''I had enough time to clean up your apartment, do the dishes, wash the clothes, and prepare dinner, lunch, and, breakfast twice.''

Bleakly, Ritsu lowered his head guiltily, feeling bad for having made Takano do his chores. ''I'm sorry for the mess. Thank you very much for looking after me.''

Takano studied him shortly.

''Well,'' he said, ''come and sit down.''

Onodera dragged out his chair and settled into it. ''Thank you for making breakfast Takano-San.''

Annoyed, the editor in chief grabbed a chunk of meat from the dish. ''Urgh, if you're gonna thank me so much, you might as well take better care of yourself.''

Looking downcast, Ritsu lowered his gaze again as he said nothing.

''By any chance,'' began Takano after observing his love, ''did you get a call from your parents?''

Surprise flashed across the lone heir of Onodera Publishing. ''It's nothing serious really,'' said the brunette, looking the opposite of his words. ''I just got another phone call from my mother. She just say the same thing she always does–telling me I need to realize I'm going to take over the company someday. I mean, I'm their only son so I understand where they're coming from, but . . . ''

''And what do _you_ want to do then?'' Takano picked up a piece of vegetable from the dish.

''Eh?''

''I'm asking you you want to do,'' the raven repeated his question. ''Do you want to take over the company?''

Stunned, Onodera stared at the editor-in-chief as he wondered about the question.

Takano glanced at his neighbour. ''You better eat something.'' Ritsu hadn't even touched his food.

''I don't think I'm at the level where I can consider things like that,'' said Ritsu, honestly lacking the appetite to eat. The aroma was very fragrant, but he couldn't bring himself to touch his food. ''I'm at the age where I really need to think things through.''

''Don't you think you're overreacting?'' Takano stuffed the rice into his mouth.

''Eh?'' Ritsu stared at him confusedly.

''Isaka-San talked to the editor-in-chief of the lit department, and it seems like you're doing the job well enough.'' Takano grabbed another piece of meat using his chopsticks. Ritsu sat, listening to him. ''You're not a genius. I can't fool myself into thinking you're a genius like Isaka-San. However, you work twice as hard as everyone else. Whatever you don't understand or can't do, you stick to it until you succeed. And if you're working like how you were in shoujo with me, you're not doing anything wrong at all.''

''T-thank you,'' said Ritsu, feeling the pressure slightly lighten. ''I'll try to bear that in mind.'' As if finally noticing his food, Onodera picked up his pair of chopsticks and said his thanks.

''Well, I suppose taking over the family business might have nothing to do with actual skill,'' Takano shared, thing about the way family businesses are run. ''And the Onodera Publishing house has been handed through the family for years. It'd probably be easier for you to go with the flow to be honest.''

''I've already gone through the flow though,'' said Onodera. Granted, the arrangement was over long ago. ''When I went against the engagement, and then there's the thing with you…''

''Wait.'' Takano stopped, his bewilderment thinly veiled. ''You've told her about me?!''

''Of course not," said Ritsu, putting his food into his rice bowl. He'd send his mom to the hospital with that type of news.

''Then do you plan to tell them?'' asked Takano.

''I guess I have to tell them eventually-if we even progress far enough,'' said Ritsu. Hearing himself say those words, the brunette couldn't help but feel unsettled. A sinking feeling dragged down inside him. ''I suppose I can't keep this a secret forever.''

Stretching out his hand, Takano reached across the table, brushing his fingers into Ritsu's hair.

_BADUMP._

Ritsu blinked, turning shy at the gesture.

''How the heck did you get food in your hair?''

Takano pulled back, taking out a grain of rice. Onodera dug into his bowl, flushing with annoyance.

Leaning on a propped up arm, Takano watched him eat. Ritsu was devouring his food, eating hungrily, and ignoring him for his previous remark. The raven could definitely get used to this.

''Onodera.''

''Yes?''

''If you decide to take over your family's company, does that mean you'll quit Marukawa?''

''I guess so,'' said Onodera. ''It doesn't make sense to have a rival working in your company, right?''

''And then you'll move?''

''I don't know,'' answered his neighbour honestly. ''Maybe I would. Maybe not.''

''Come live with me.''

Ritsu choked on his breakfast, averting his eyes in embarrassment. Takano on the other hand, didn't look the slightest bit bothered. ''It wouldn't be that bad you know.'' A smile peeked out. ''I'd make meals for you everyday, Ritsu.''

Flustered from the sudden proposal, the brunette turned his green eyes away from him. Briefly, he sneaked a look at the raven opposite him. ''We'll see.''

* * *

**Author's notes:** Thank you guys very very much for the lovely reviews you guys left ^^ Here's an emoji for you ! \^o^/ . I wanted to thank you guys with this chapter but i suppose it's not very good hahaha... But i promise i will make up to you guys with more chapters ! ( ﾟヮﾟ) Thank you!


	35. Going out

''Onodera,'' said Takano, driving them to work in the morning.

''Yes?''

''We haven't been on a date in a while.'' he said, feeling the absence of their time together. ''Let's go out this weekend.''

Onodera turned away slightly upon hearing the word ''date'', like he was turning shy. ''What do you want to do?''

''Anything's fine I guess,'' the strong light reflected off from Takano's specs as he steered the wheel. ''What do people do during summer time?''

''Camping, hiking. Some of my friends took a trip somewhere…'' said Ritsu.

''You have friends?'' asked Takano skeptically, almost scoffing.

''What's that supposed to mean?'' countered the brunette, scowling at Takano's tone. ''Of course I have friends.''

''Uh-huh,'' said the raven. "Are you sure you're not referring to your old time ones from high school?''

The brunette blushed. ''I really do have friends you know.''

''Sure.'' Takano went along with what he was saying. Immediately, he switched topics. ''A trip doesn't sound bad.'' Maybe they could go for a short weekend getaway. It's been years since he went anywhere at all. The idea of getting away with Ritsu sounded strangely dreamy.

Snippily, the brunette extinguished the thought away, bringing up one glaring fact.

''We don't have the time for that,'' he reminded. Being an editor is a busy job, with their schedule being hard to match, even if a trip did sound nice.

''Hmmm….'' The raven considered. ''What do you suppose we should do?''

''There's a lot of festivals and fireworks now,'' said the brunette. Japan's summer is the time for them.

''What else?''

''Hmm…'' Quietly thinking, Onodera took his phone out.

''Are you actually searching for things to do?'' Takano commented in disbelief, watching Ritsu scrolls away on his phone with quick glances.

''What? '' The brunette turns red, ''I'm just checking for suggestions, '' he said. Then, he proceeded to read off the list of things to do. '' Hmm…Temples and shrine, festivals, shopping, sushi. . .and 108 volcanoes in Japan.'' Thoughtfully, he hummed as he went down the list

'' . . . I never knew you could do so much in Japan,'' admitted Onodera, noticing it for the first time.

The condescending tone again. ''Are you really Japanese? ''

''Hey!'' Ritsu retorted, his eyebrows knitting downwards again. ''I'm born and bred here you know. It's just that I've haven't been out in a while.''

''Including the time you went abroad?''

Embarrassed, the brunette looks away.

''I suppose that makes the both of us,'' said Takano, referring to the fact that they both didn't really go out exploring. ''What else?''

Onodera continues reading the list. ''I've never been to Harajuku before.''

''Isn't that where all the youngsters go?''

''You sound like an Oji-San already,'' said Onodera, still chuckling at what had happened the other day.

Reflected off the front mirror, Takano gave him a pointed sideway look.

''I suppose we can go there,'' said the black haired editor, ''I haven't been to that part of Tokyo either.''

''Are you really Japanese?'' mocked Ritsu, echoing him on purpose.

''Born and bred.''

It was quiet in the car for a few moments.

''So what made you want to take my car?'' asked Takano. ''You used to dodge it like a bullet.''

''I thought since we're going to the same place, might as well take it,'' explained the brunette, somehow getting around to that idea. It wasn't uncomfortable-taking his car. Lately, the silence had been rather bearable, almost natural.

''I see.''

After a few minutes of silence, the brown-haired male spoke.

''Are you sure you wanna go there?'' asked Onodera doubtfully. ''It's where all the teenagers are. I don't know if there will be much to do.''

''There will be some things to do,'' said Takano. ''We can always go around town if it's too boring.''

''We're not teenagers anymore, you know,'' reminded the brunette. Sadly, they weren't.

''I know.''

* * *

Their first stop was Harajuku-the centre of Japanese youth culture and fashion.

''Takano-San, wait,'' called Ritsu, pausing in front of a giant store.

''Daiso?'' Takano stopped, looking up at the equally big sign on top.

''The 100 yen store?'' remarked the brown-haired male, eyes wide with sudden interest. ''Let's go in,'' he said, deviating from their track.

By the side, Takano watched Ritsu go around the store like a kid. ''You look like you've never been to a 100 yen store,'' he commented.

''I haven't,'' said Onodera, eyes wide as saucers.

''There's really nothing much here,'' said Takano. It was just a giant store selling all type of cheap goods for 100 yen. He paused, considering something. ''But I suppose it does make it more fun if you haven't been to one, young master Ritsu.''

The said brunette was far too busy marveling at the place to hear him.

The unbelievable look Takano had, gradually melted into an amused smile as he watched his date. The brunette was already wandering around without him. With an unbelievable expression, Ritsu looked with awe at the items.

''A frying pan?'' exclaimed Ritsu, holding up the item and knocking it with his fingers. For a 100 yen? ''The quality's pretty good. I wonder if they sell energy dri-Takano-San!''

Takano held a fan in his right hand, having used it to knock at his date's forehead. Ritsu rubbed the spot.

''Takano-San!''

''Let's go.''

…

_This is really the epitome of Japanese youth._

Boys and girls in all sorts of weird costumes paraded around town, cosplaying as some character, mostly ones which he had never seen before. Onodera had never felt so out of place.

''I feel like I'm a tourist here,'' confessed the brunette. ''Is this what teenagers are into these days?'' Cosplays and… costumes?

''I guess,'' said Takano. ''Is this is what Japan's famous for? Besides, we need them to keep our salary coming.''

Green eyes surveyed the surroundings, spotting a familiar cosplay. The girl-or was it boy-had an eye patch over an eye, wearing a Victorian era costume. Close to her, another sharp looking guy was wearing a butler uniform.

''Oh,'' Onodera said. ''I think I've seen that one somewhere before.'' The boy and his butler.

''Kuroshitsuji?'' asked Takano, referring to the anime the cosplayers were going as.

''You know the series?'' exclaimed Onodera, surprised. The raven was a shoujo manga editor after all.

''Of course I do,'' said Takano, all cocky. ''It's pretty popular after all.''

''Oh, I see,'' said the brunette, half reprimanding himself for not knowing and pissed at losing to Takano. ''What's the series about?''

''A kid and his demon butler,'' said the editor in chief. ''After the kid's family got killed, he made a deal with the demon in exchange for his soul at the end of its completion.''

''I see,'' said the brunette, remembering seeing the series from somewhere before. The image of Sebastian and Ciel came to mind.

Then Takano said something that nearly made Ritsu trip. ''Maybe we should cosplay as them someday.''

''C-c-cosplay?!'' exclaimed Onodera, shocked to hear the suggestion coming out of him. _Takano San? Him? Us!?_

''What do you say, Onodera?'' Suggested Takano, his lips forming into a smile. ''I can be your butler for a day, Young master Ritsu.''

''N-n-no thanks!'' stammered the brown-haired brunette who came from a wealthy family, trying to get rid of the image of Takano in a butler uniform, serving him. The demon editor in chief was as fine as the demon butler. ''I don't need a servant!''

''Or your personal chef.''

''Stop that!'' said Ritsu, blushing and rejecting the idea, even if cosplaying did sound the tiniest bit fun.

…

* * *

''You've really never been here before?'' asked Ritsu, once they settled in a café.

''Never,'' said Takano, drinking his black coffee.

Onodera looked past him, out to the streets. He thought Takano might have been to the hipster part of town, maybe during his youth. He seemed like the type to wander off, lost in his alone time, or maybe because he was the male editor in chief of the highly profitable girly Shoujo manga in Marukawa.

''How come you've never been here?'' asked the brunette.

''I had no reason to,'' said Takano. He really had no interest in exploring the city, be it in high school or college. The raven had other shit to deal with. ''You?''

''Me too,'' answered Ritsu. ''An-Chan likes to shop at Shibuya though. She's always asking me to go along with her,'' he said, quickly realizing he'd mentioned something he shouldn't have.

Takano's brown eyes slid up to him.

Green ones blinked nervously.

''Have you?''

''Have I?''

''Have you been on dates with her?''

''Um….'' Ritsu blinked uncomfortably. "Why are you asking me this?''

''Just asking.''

''Um….'' _Why did I have to bring that up? _''Um… I went shopping with her.''

''I see.'' Takano said nothing more, surprising his date.

_Takano-San seems to be taking it pretty well._

''Weekends?''

''Eh?''

''Did you go out on weekends?'' asked Takano, referring to his dates with his former fiancée.

''Yeah…''

''So you did all the lovely dovey couple stuff with her?'' asked the raven, eyeing the brunette.

''Can we please talk about something else,'' pleaded Onodera, wanting to switch topics already.

''What do you do on weekends?''

''Oh,'' said Onodera. ''I visit the library, borrow some books, read up on things, and continue on my work if I need to.''

''Movies?''

''I don't really watch them.'' At least not until recently. This year alone he's already been to two movies with a certain editor in chief.

''You really have no life,'' said Takano, declaring it a fact.

''Like you have one,'' shot back Ritsu.

''What about music?'' asked Takano. ''Do you listen to any songs?''

''Not really,'' admitted Onodera. ''It's all love song these days.''

Wordlessly, the editors drank their drinks, just resting in the silence. Takano drained his cup. Abruptly, he stood up. ''Let's go.''

''To where?'' asked Onodera.

''To do all the couple stuff.''

* * *

They wandered around town, looking around. Though somehow it turned into a shopping trip for Takano.

Making his way into a high-end store, Ritsu surveyed the place as his date browsed the racks.

_Is this the type of place where Takano shops all the time?_Wondered the brown-haired male questionably, thinking about his neighbour's wardrobe.

_What's his style? Hobo chic? Editor in chief from hell ?  
_

''Onodera,'' Takano beckoned, holding up a hanger. He gestured the brunette to come closer.

''Hai?''

''What do you think of this?'' the editor-in-chief asked, showing him the attire. It was a simple clean-cut oxford shirt.

''It's nice,'' said Onodera, frankly wondering what was so special about it. It looked like any other button-up shirt for men.

Takano considered, holding the shirt against Ritsu.

''Aren't you suppose to try it?'' asked Onodera, wondering why Takano didn't put the top against himself.

''It's for you,'' said the editor-in-chief.

''What?'' exclaimed Onodera, confused. ''Wait, Takano-San, you're not getting it for yourself?''

''Of course not,'' answered the raven, holding the shirt against Ritsu again. Like he would be caught wearing that colour. Turning around, he passed the shirt towards the store assistant. ''Excuse me, I'm getting this.''

''Wait, Takano-San!'' Completely not expecting this, Onodera held onto his arm, stopping him. ''You don't have to get it for me. I have enough shirts.'' Embarrassed at his gesture, the brunette tried to convince him. ''Really,'' insisted Ritsu. ''You don't have to get a shirt for me.'' Much less an expensive one.

Ignoring him, Takano went to the cashier. ''It's time you throw the ugly ones out,'' said the raven, taking out his credit card. ''Or is this not good enough for you, Young Master?''

Onodera blushed. ''It's not that….it's just…. '' _You've already given me a sweater._ ''I really have enough shirts.''

Takano ignored him.

The brunette sighed, casting his gaze downwards.

''Choose something,'' he said.

''What ?''

''I said choose something,'' repeated Onodera. '' If you're going to get me something, then I'll get you something too.''

''I don't need anything,'' said Takano.

''Neither do I,'' huffed Ritsu offensively before changing his tone. ''But I haven't really… gotten you anything before.''

''I want my confession,'' Takano told him as they exited the store.

''Anything _else_?''

''Anything,'' the raven told him. ''Anything from you is fine.''

Flustered from hearing his sweet but unhelpful answer, distress appeared on the brunette's features.

_Anything?_

* * *

''Takano-San!'' exclaimed Ritsu, stopping just for the claw machines. ''Have you ever tried one of those?''

''No,'' said the editor in chief. ''It's just out to cheat your money anyway.''

''Eh, but it looks really easy'' replied Onodera, already able to taste the victory. ''I want to try it.''

Takano scoffed. ''You're most likely going to lose anyways,'' said the raven, making it sound like Ritsu was going to lose for sure.

_This guy._

''Are you saying I can't do it?'' questioned Ritsu with vigour, a look of determination setting in.

''You think you _can_?''

''I can definitely do it!'' said Ritsu with full conviction. Stomping towards one of the machines filled with small plushies, he dropped a coin in and started playing.

Takano sighed, seeing that Ritsu was having a hard time.

''Seriously,'' said Takano coming over. He clasped his hand over Ritsu's, doing the same for the left hand. ''What would you do without me?''

Onodera's arms felt like jelly with the close proximity of the raven. The raven leaned into his date, keeping a firm hold on their hands. The claw swiveled, moving left to right.

Hot breath touched his ear. ''Which one do you want?''

''An-any will do,'' answered the brunette, trying keep his blushing self composed. Completely still, the brown haired male's palm became sweaty as the editor in chief navigated the machine smoothly. The claw dropped down, closing around a plushy, and rose back up again.

Takano placed his chin comfortably on Onodera's shoulder, snuggling as he slightly caressed the smooth hand under his own. For split second, Onodera thought the raven was going in for a kiss.

_Badump, badump, badump._

Ritsu's warmth was radiating off to him.

Slowly, the claw slid towards the hole at the front. Pressing their hands together, long fair fingers intertwined with smaller ones. He released and the toy fell into the box.

_Ding! Ding! Ding!_

Cheerful congratulatory music started playing.

_Congrats!_ _Looks like we have a winner!_

* * *

Gradually, night descended. Walking down the street, the pair passed by a pachinko parlour.

''Takano-San,'' began Onodera, his gaze following the long stretch of wall. ''Have you been to one of these?''

''Pachinko parlours are the dens for the jobless and gamblers,'' said Takano. ''I would never go in.''

''What's so fun about sitting in front of a machine?'' asked Onodera.

_Seriously_, wondered Takano. _How sheltered is he?_

''That's the whole purpose–it's easy to play, and it fools you into thinking you're close to winning every time, and that the next time you'll win even more. You'll get addicted enough not to leave.''

''No wonder there's so many of them,'' said the brunette. Vices earn. ''It makes money.''

''Hey,'' Takano started, after they left the place. ''What else haven't you done in Tokyo?''

''Hmmm… now that you asked, I guess there's a lot I haven't done,'' admitted Onodera. ''I haven't been to Disneyland,'' he said starting with the big attractions. ''Even thought it might be just for kids… I also haven't been to Hokkaido.

"Oh well,'' added Onodera. '' I guess I can't do anything until I get my work settled.''

''You don't have to rush you know.''

''Why? Afraid I'll overtake you?'' Even if he _is_ in the lit department.

Takano scoffed. ''You have years to catch up to me.''

''Just you wait,'' muttered Onodera.

''What did you say?''

''Just you wait,'' said Onodera. ''I'm gonna overtake you by a long-shot.''

Takano grabbed his hand, moving him closer.

''Hey!'' exclaimed Ritsu. ''What are you doing?''

''Keeping you close,'' said Takano. ''Who knows where you might sneak off to?''

Instead of protesting, Onodera carried on walking with him, awkward feelings absorbed by the silence between them. Soon, the editor was immersed in his own thoughts.

He glanced around at the signs, and a look passed over his features. ''Takano-San,'' said the brunette, suddenly stopping. ''I think we're in the red light district.''

* * *

''I know,'' said the editor-in-chief.

''You know?!'' exclaimed Ritsu loudly. ''Then why are we here?''

''We're just passing through, going around back. Besides, I thought you wanted to explore the city.'' Takano slid his brown eyes at him. ''Or do you have other plans? ''

Heat flooded Onodera's cheeks as he flushed, unable to think of a proper response. ''Let's just go back,'' he said, wanting to avoid the sleazy place before Takano got any ideas. Everywhere, there were hotels advertising hourly rates, and posters of obscene images.

Onodera turned, about to leave, when a scantily clad lady came up to them.

''Hello there,'' the pretty lady linked her arms with Takano's, giving him a suggestive smile. Onodera stopped, turning around to see what was happening. ''You're too good-looking to be here alone. Wanna have some fun?''

Annoyance and anger flashed in the raven's seductive brown eyes.

''I'm sorry,'' Takano apologized, flashing a mischievous smile. Untangling himself from the hostess, the raven draped an arm across Ritsu's shoulder. Standing still, the brunette blushed, unsure of what was happening.

Takano continued, smiling like he'd won the lottery. ''I'm here to have a very pleasurable time with this guy.'' Hooking his arm around Ritsu, he cupped his other hand on his cheek, going in for a passionate display of affection.

Breaking off, the raven dragged his date off, acting like passionate lovers. ''Ta-Ta-Takano-San,'' stammered the brunette as the older male dragged him off, holding hands. Leaving, the brunette caught the look on the hostess's face. Shooting them a distasteful glare, she walked off.

Onodera tried to remove his hand from Takano's grasp after they managed to get a distance away.

''Takano-San!'' urged Ritsu, his heart beating fast and hard.

''Quiet,'' said the editor-in-chief. ''She's still behind us.'' True enough, the brunette turned to see the hostess following behind them, her heels clicking against the hard ground. Suddenly, Takano turned, pulling them into a discrete-looking entrance.

''One room,'' said Takano, immediately being handed a key.

''Wait, what!?'' the brunette dropped his voice down to a low whisper. ''Takano San! What are you doing?'' His heart was racing uncontrollably, adrenaline rushing due to the situation.

''She's still outside waiting,'' answered the raven, holding his hand tight. The hostess was still outside, stalking them. ''Unless we do this, she'll be following us the whole night.''

Onodera opened his mouth, about to protest until he realized there was no other way to it. Like a robot, the brunette closed his mouth.

* * *

''Do you think she's still there?'' asked Onodera, after hiding out in the room for nearly an hour.

_How did we end up in this situation?_

''Beats me,'' said Takano. ''I'll go check.'' Quietly, the editor-in-chief cracked open the door, peaking through. Popping his head out, he looked outside to the lobby. ''She's gone,'' he declared.

Glad, Ritsu let out a heavy sigh of relief.

''Thank God.''

''We should probably just wait for a while more, just in case,'' said the raven.

''Umm… Takano-San,'' Onodera began hesitantly.

''Hm?''

''I'm sorry,'' apologized Ritsu deeply.

Takano turned in surprise. ''For what?'' he asked.

''For stalking you last time,'' said Ritsu, lowering his eyes guiltily. ''I now know how scary it is. I'm sorry I stalked you in the library.'' This whole experience with the hostess was terrifying and uncomfortable.

Takano stared at him. ''Idiot,'' he said, flicking Ritsu's forehead. He gazed intently at the brunette, telling him off. ''You did nothing of that sort. It was just library cards. Don't apologize for something stupid like that.''

''But…'' Onodera dropped down onto the bed with his hands over his head, lying with his guard down. ''I'm glad you're here with me,'' he said with a sigh of relief, his chest moving leisurely. Then, realizing what he was doing-lying on the bed like that–he sat up.

Takano was staring at him, with a hawk-like look in his eyes.

''T-Ta-'' The editor in chief prowled over, getting onto the bed, and climbing on top of the brunette before Ritsu could protest. ''T-Takano..S-san…''

_BADUMP… BADUMP… BADUMP._

He was staring at him, close enough to kiss.

_BADUMP… BADUMP… BADUMP._

Ritsu was lying flat on the bed, pretty green eyes staring back at him.

Takano's heart palpitated. He couldn't think straight.

_BADUMP… BADUMP… BADUMP._

''Takano-San…..''

_BADUMP… BADUMP… BADUMP._

He wanted him.

_BADUMP… BADUMP… BADUMP_

Now.

''Excuse me,'' came a knock from outside. A polite voice came through. ''Your one hour is up.''

* * *

_This is…._

Onodera trailed behind Takano, carrying an awfully embarrassed look.

_Really super awkward._

''What the hell were you trying to do back there?'' asked Ritsu, mad at what the raven tried to do, and at himself for nearly giving in.

''What else?'' answered Takano. ''I'm a man, after all.''

''Aren't you the least bit embarrassed?'' questioned his date, cheeks flaming.

''I'm sorry,'' apologized Takano, for the sake of it. Onodera looked less heated. ''But we did more scandalous things before in the school library, remember?'' he probed.

''Would you stop bringing that up!'' In his moment of anger, Ritsu forgot that this has the first time his high school first love had brought it up.

Takano turned.

''I'm sorry,'' he said, watching the upset expression his love was giving him. Upon hearing the sincerity in his voice, the tightness in Onodera's chest lightened. The brunette felt bad for yelling at him earlier.

''It's okay…''

''Ah, '' said Takano, remembering one more thing. Still facing each other, he brought up one little fact. ''You couldn't kiss with your mouth open before, but I see that you've now learnt how to do it.''

''Oh,'' said the brown haired male, blood rushing to his cheeks. Memories buried long ago resurfaced. ''Is that so?''

_Why…. do you remember something as small as this?_

''Hmm… If you don't remember something like that, did you really love me?'' said Takano, meaning to be a tease, but coming off as serious with his dead-set expression.

Onodera stopped in his tracks, feeling the weight of guilt sinking it. Not knowing that Ritsu had stopped, the editor-in-chief carried on walking. Adrenaline pumped throughout his body, his heart thundering in his chest. The brunette moved forward until he was right beside Takano.

_Chu!_

Takano stopped.

Ritsu had just given him a quick peck on the cheek.

Surprised and shocked, his brown eyes widened, never once having thought the brunette would do that. Blood started to rush to his head, flooding him with dizzy thoughts. The sound of Ritsu's lips smacking against his cheek was still echoing in his ear.

''I remember,'' said Ritsu, blushing as hard as Takano.

* * *

Upon entering the car, Onodera sat down. Pulling his seatbelt on, a thought occurred to him.

''Onodera?'' asked Takano, noticing the brunette staring off into space, specifically at the direction of the front mirror. ''You've been staring at the mirror for a while.''

''No, I was just thinking….''

''About what?''

''I was thinking whether…whether you would want to hang the plushy in the car,'' admitted Onodera.

_How silly of me._

The editor's cheek flushed from the mortification of voicing such a silly suggestion.

_Takano-San would never do something like this._

Unreadable, Takano questioned him accusingly. ''You don't want it?''

''No…I mean…'' the brunette stammered, feeling awkward and embarrassed. ''I didn't exactly win this alone, and I haven't given you anything yet. So I was wondering if you might want to have it...I'm sorry,'' he apologized, finding his own suggestion rather pathetic.

_A plushy for an expensive shirt? Onodera, you really…_

''I suppose it's fine.''

''What?'' Onodera blinked.

''It's fine,'' said Takano. ''I'll take the plushy.'' Sticking his hand out, he waited for Ritsu to pass him the toy. After having it in his hands, the older male clasped it around his front mirror using the little lapse.

''It does look a little odd,'' said Takano upon seeing Ritsu stare at the thing hanging there; a cute cat plushy hanging on his sleek two-seater car. ''But I suppose it's ours.''

* * *

The car rolled to a stop, parking in the chosen spot.

''I-I…'' started Onodera, unbuckling his seat belt. Fear crept up on him again as he gathered his courage to say his words. It was a tiring day, but he enjoyed it, save for that little incident. ''I had fun today,'' he said. Looking at Takano, he gave him a small, almost timid smile.

As Takano looked back at him, he realized how much courage it took for Ritsu to say that.

''I had fun too,'' said the raven honestly.

Ritsu met his eyes, giving him the same small smile again. The shimmer in his eyes made something in Takano swirl with warmth, something he had not felt in a long time. Hesitantly, Ritsu stretched his arms out, moving to give Takano a quick hug before leaving the car.


	36. Drink and Tell

''Why are we here again?'' The reason was still unknown to Onodera. Takano had just told him to come out, and get into his car with a vague 'We're going somewhere'. Now, they were standing outside of Inokashira Park.

''Didn't you say you wanted to come here?'' said Takano.

''I thought you were the one who wanted to come!''

''Hmmm….really?'' asked the raven. ''Weren't you going on about how you haven't explored the city? There's a zoo in this one.''

''I did… but I didn't expect you to drive us all the way here,'' said Ritsu, having gotten into the car even after hearing Takano's ambiguous reply on where they were headed.

''Whatever,'' responded Takano. ''We're already here, so come in with me.'' Without waiting for a reply, the editor-in-chief went and bought the tickets.

''This guy…'' muttered Onodera.

* * *

''Could you not decide things for yourself?'' complained Ritsu.

''Like what?''

''Like this,'' Onodera told him, irritated that he had gotten out of the car only to end up at a park. ''I already went out with you last weekend,'' he reminded his neighbour, refreshing Takano's apparently forgetful memory. ''I still have my work to finish and I'm sure you do too.''

''Do you really dislike spending time with me so much?'' asked the raven.

''I don't mean it like that,'' said Onodera. ''It's just, I'm a busy person and I have a lot of things to settle. I'm sure you do too.''

''Hai, hai,'' replied Takano.

''But why did you want to come here?'' asked the brunette. The editor-in-chief looked more like a pub person than a park lover.

''I'd like to go for a stroll,'' said Takano. Skeptical, Onodera debated with himself whether the black-haired male was joking or not.

_A stroll? Takano-San?_

_But didn't he say he doesn't go exploring?_

The time the two of them went on a drive together replayed in his head. Back then, who knew that they were going to a secluded viewing area at some unknown location?

''What?'' asked Takano, noticing the disdain written across Onodera' features.

''There's a lot of things I still don't know about you.''

* * *

''Shall we do that?'' suggested Takano, pointing to a couple in a paddleboat on the lake. The fake giant plastic swan of a boat was idly swimming away.

''No,'' said Onodera, immediately shooting down the idea. There was no way he was going to get on one of those things.

''Why not?''

''Don't you have to pay for it?'' asked the brown-haired male. ''Don't waste your money."

''I have the money,'' stated Takano, sounding like some filthy rich heir, making Ritsu roll his eyes. ''I can pay for it.''

''I am not going to take a ride on a paddleboat with you, Takano-San,'' said Onodera firmly, not budging one bit.

''Why not?'' asked Takano. "It seems fun."

''I'm not getting on it.''

''Can't swim?''

''I can,'' said his date.

''So why not?''

''I mean…'' Onodera hesitated, thinking of some passable explanation. ''These things should be taken during spring when there's cherry blossom. Isn't it summer now? The view won't be as great.''

''So you're saying we'll do it next year then?''

''I didn't say that!''

''Yes or no?'' goaded Takano, poking Ritsu's cheek repeatedly.

''Hai! Hai! Hai!'' said Ritsu, irritated, giving into his annoying antics.

* * *

''Since you're so whiny about coming today, we should go to the zoo first,'' said Takano, deciding their activities for them. There was one in the park that was rather popular.

''Fine,'' said Ritsu, going along with it. Aroused by curiosity, the brunette turned thoughtfully quiet.

''What are you thinking of?'' asked Takano. Ritsu looked like he was thinking of something very hard.

''Nothing,'' answered Onodera. ''I'm just wondering whether you've ever gone to the zoo before.''

Occupied with himself for a moment, Onodera turned his attention back to his date, noticing Takano was hovering closer, staring at him.

Aware that the raven was getting nearer, the brunette self-consciously backed away. ''W-what?''

Keeping their faces close, Takano brought up a fact. ''Have you ever noticed that all of your questions are about me?''

''I –Wh….'' Caught by the sudden realization, the brunette quickly thought of a reply on reflex ''I-is that so?'' he asked, astonished by this new discovery.

''I wonder why that's so,'' wondered the editor-in-chief, his piercing gaze searching for something.

Mentally chiding himself for failing to realize such an obvious fact, Onodera tried to come up with an excuse in the short time available. ''It's–I mean . . . I– That's just….''

Takano waited.

''It's just-''

''Just?''

Out of excuses, Onodera had nothing else to say but the truth. At a dead end, he accepted the fact reluctantly.

Scowling, Ritsu asked with irk. ''You really want to hear it, don't you?''

''Of course,'' answered Takano matter-of-factly, not realizing they were both referring to different things. ''I'm ready to hear it.'' He wanted his confession-Ritsu's confession.

''This guy,'' muttered Onodera, giving Takano an exasperated look. Stalling, he questioned the man. ''Why do you have to hear it when you already know?''

''I want to hear it.''

''You really…'' grumbled Onodera under his breath, looking away. _This is so hard to say._

''Well?''

''I-'' started Ritsu.

_BADUMP. BADUMP. BADUMP._

At the sight of Ritsu behaving so nervously, Takano's pulse jumped. It surprised him how adorably shy Ritsu was being, with that familiar blush spreading across his cheeks.

''Really-''

Takano listened keenly. He couldn't wait to hear the words, albeit Ritsu was so reluctant to admit it.

''-want to know more about you,'' finished the brunette lamely, not meeting the brown eyes of the black-haired male.

_What?_

Dumbly, the editor-in-chief stood as Onodera continued explaining, huffing righteously. ''I hardly know anything about you, so that's why I'm asking a lot of questions. But sometimes I wonder whether they _are_ dumb or you find them dumb because…Urgh ! You get what I'm saying, right Takano-San? I don't know anything about you so I want to know more. There, I said it. Are you happy now?'' finished Onodera, blowing off steam.

Blinking, Takano simply stared at him, his steely expression masking his real emotions. Wordlessly, he walked off.

Carrying a befuddled expression, Onodera wondered about the raven's lack of reaction. Shouldn't he be acting all high and mighty now?

''Did I say something wrong?'' said the brunette out loud.

* * *

''Wanna go home?'' asked Takano. The summer heat was becoming unbearable in the afternoon.

''Hai,'' answered Ritsu, agreeing that the weather was getting too hot.

''Let's go,'' said Takano.

.

.

.

''What are you doing later?'' asked Takano when they got into the car.

''I'm going to rest,'' said Onodera, meaning sleep.

''Come over for dinner,'' said Takano. ''If I don't look after you, you're gonna faint again.''

''I can take care of myself,'' said Ritsu, as insistent as ever.

''Uh Huh.''

Not able to help being curious, and just slightly considering the idea, the brunette asked, ''What are you cooking?''

''Whatever's in my fridge.''

''And what's that?!''

''Don't worry'' Takano told him. ''I won't give you anything worse than that crap you're eating.''

Onodera considered.

_The last time I ate his food… it was actually really good._

_And I haven't had a proper home-cooked meal in a while._

''So?'' asked his neighbour. ''Are you coming over or not?''

''Fine.''

* * *

''Sorry for the intrusion.'' Onodera gave his greeting, stepping into his neighbour's apartment. After going their individual ways, he was now back at Takano's place. The food was already set on the table.

After saying their thanks, they ate together in silence.

_Well._The brunette chewed his food.

_It's less awkward than the time Takano-San came over._

The room was filled with the sound of vegetables crunching and chopsticks hitting against bowls.

''Hey,'' said Takano.

Onodera looked up from his bowl.

''Don't you think you should stop adding honorifics to my name?'' he asked. They'd already known each other for so long.

''What do you mean?'' asked Ritsu, not quite getting it.

''Call me Takano,'' suggested the raven himself. ''Try it.''

Increasingly blushing, Onodera asked about the sudden request. ''Why–why are you suggesting this?''

''We're dating now, aren't we?'' asked Takano, adding colour to Ritsu's cheeks. ''We're not boss and subordinate anymore. It's alright to drop the san after my name.''

''T-T-Taka…no,'' attempted the brunette hesitantly, sounding awkward. The syllables felt jumbled up and weird in his mouth, incomplete. Granted, even the editor-in-chief felt so too, and decided to try something else.

''Masamune,'' Takano ordered.

''Ma-Ma–Masamune,'' spluttered Ritsu, probably unlike how Takano expected it to sound, never having used the raven's first name before. It felt so weird, calling him anything other than 'Takano San'. Foreign.

''Ritsu.''

''H-Hai?''

''Say my name again,'' said Takano quietly.

''I think–I think I'll just stick to 'Takano-San', '' said Onodera, uncomfortable with calling him anything of a closer name.

Stuffing his mouth with rice, the brown-haired male avoided the topic any further, leaving Takano with an emotion like disappointment.

* * *

''Thank you for the meal,'' said Onodera.

''Leave your bowl, I'll wash it," said Takano. Grabbing the plates and utensils, he placed them in the sink. ''Leaving already?'' he asked as Onodera got up, heading for the door. ''At least stay for a little while,'' the raven told him.

''I only came for dinner,'' Ritsu answered, looking like a deer in headlights. What else was there to do? ''There's no reason for me to stay anymore.''

''Sit down,'' Takano ordered, doing the dishes. Obediently, the brunette followed, taking a seat on the couch.

_What does Takano-San want to talk about?_

Once done, the raven flopped down beside him. ''Is Haitani still bothering you?''

''No,'' answered Onodera, recalling their previous conversation. ''I think he gets the message now.''

''Good,'' said Takano, adding nothing more.

''Is that all you wanted to ask me?'' asked Ritsu.

''Pretty much,'' said Takano, candid and blunt about it.'' I just want you to stay with me a bit longer. ''You bailed on me before, after all. Who's to say you won't do it again?"

''You don't have to worry you know,'' reassured the brunette. He was still unable to say certain things, but he had enough confidence to know he wouldn't react like that anymore. ''I'm not going to leave you like back then.'' Onodera told him, deciding to throw in one exception. ''Unless you did something like that again.'' Where he led him on like that.

_I can't say I love you yet, but I can promise you this._

''I won't run away like before,'' promised Ritsu.

* * *

''Takano-San?''

''Hmm?''

''What do you hope to expect out of dating me?'' asked Onodera. _What do you expect out of this-two men dating? Out of us?_

''I want to be super lovely-dovey with you.''

''Don't you have anything else to say?'' questioned the brunette, finding it unbelievable. ''Like any plans?''

''I want to be totally lovely-dovey and cuddle and flirt with you,'' Takano told him, wearing a straight face.

''Be serious about this!'

''I am serious.''

''Forget it!'' snapped Onodera, about to storm off. ''I now learned you're more of an idiot than I imagined. ''

''Onodera!'' Throwing his arms over him before the brunette could escape, Takano clung onto his love. ''I've always longed to spoil you rotten,'' he confessed.

Ritsu's heart skipped a beat.

* * *

On a night going back home from work, Onodera thought about Takano's offer.

_Living together, huh?_

He still hadn't warmed up to the idea of them living together.

_I wonder what Takano does at home._

Smoke and drink coffee all day?

_Still, isn't it a bit early to even suggest that?_

He'd only recently been living on his own after getting used to it. Sharing a space with someone, and Takano no less, was something the editor couldn't quite imagine.

Would Takano be reading the newspaper when he woke up? Would they sit down and do things together? If they even had the time.

_There's no way Takano-San could get used to my habits. _

_I bet he'd kick me out within a week_

Suddenly his phone vibrated, signaling a call.

**Haitani Shin–Calling**

_Haitani-San? What would he be calling about now?_

Holding his phone and looking at it, Onodera wondered whether he should pick up or not. The phone vibrated incessantly, demanding his attention. Unsure of what his friend wanted, the brunet slid his finger across the screen, picking up the call.

''Hey, Onodera-Kun!'' Haitani said cheerfully over the phone.

''Hi, Haitani-San.''

''How are you doing?" questioned the caller.

''Hai. I'm doing fine. How are you doing, Haitani-San? ''

A chuckle came across the line. ''Why do you sound so formal?''

''Do I? hahaha…''

''We're friends right?'' said Haitani. ''Relax. There' no need to be so formal…Or are you trying to avoid me?''

Hastily, Onodera scrambled for a reply. ''Ahahaha. No, no, of course not! I see you as my friend, Haitani-San!''

''Then how about we meet up for a few drinks today? Just you and me.''

''Umm,'' the brunette stalled.

_It's been a while since I last saw him._

''Come on, Onodera-Kun, Saeki-San's tied down with work again. I need to find someone to unwind with. Besides, I haven't seen you in a while.''

''Um… '' Conflicted, Onodera wanted to accept, but then Takano's voice rang in his head.

_Takano-San said I should keep my distance._

On one hand, the brunette thought there was really no harm in it at all, but on the other, he thought he should listen to the raven's advice.

''Or is Takano still checking up on you?'' asked the friendly editor. ''Seriously Onodera-Kun, are you really going to let Takano control you like that?''

Onodera's hand clenched around the phone. ''No, it's fine. I can meet up with you.''

''Awesome!'' exclaimed Haitani, cheering. ''I'll meet you at the same restaurant as last time–the one we first went to.''

* * *

Onodera walked into the place, looking for the editor.

''Onodera-Kun!'' Haitani greeted him the moment he came into view. ''Glad you could make it.''

The brunette gave him a polite smile, sitting down.

''It's been a while, hasn't it?'' said Haitani.

''Hai.''

''I hope I didn't cause you any inconvenience in asking you out like this all of a sudden,'' apologized the taller editor, giving the brunette a thankful smile.

''Oh, it's okay,'' said Onodera. It was still a surprise though.

''So how're things going for you?''

''Oh, things are…''

Pretty soon, the two editors were engrossed with their conversation again, catching up on what had happened. Dinner arrived and they ate. Waiters came and went, serving and taking their plates. The hand on the clock spun, and time ran ahead.

''Do you mind if I order something to drink?'' Haitani asked.

''Oh no, please go ahead,'' replied Onodera, smiling in response.

The editor of Earth requested for the waiter, whispering into his ear.

Minutes later, the waiter came back with two glass cups, the type used for alcoholic drinks. Serving them, he left for another table.

''Is a bit of booze okay?'' asked Haitani.

Momentarily, Onodera hesitated. ''Hai,'' he said at the end. ''It's okay.'' _I guess a drink or two won't hurt._

''Onodera-Kun,'' started the taller editor, grinning like a fox. ''You don't really drink, do you?''

Ritsu grinned sheepishly. ''Not really.''

''Now this,'' Haitani picked up his glass and swirled the liquid around, ''is the good stuff.''

Staring at the drink, Onodera looks at it, unsure.

''What's in it?''

''Some secret concoction,'' Haitani winked. ''They won't tell me. You should try it, it's really good,'' he said convincingly.

''Um…'' Onodera stared at the drink.

''Don't worry,'' Haitani assured, giving a disarming smile. ''I won't let you get drunk like Saeki-San, and if you do, I'll send you back,'' he promised.

Reaching for the cup, the brunette looked into it, studying the contents. It looked like any other alcoholic drink, almost transparent, like plain water.

''Try it. I swear it won't taste bad,'' Haitani promised, egging him on. As if trying to convince him, the taller editor took a mouthful of the drink, swallowing it down.

Bringing the cup to his lips, Onodera took a sip of his own. Surprised, he took another. ''It really doesn't taste bad,'' he said, amazed. In fact, it tasted really good.

''See, what did I tell you?'' Haitani grinned as they clicked their glass together. Taking more sips, they continued their conversation.

* * *

''People gave me a lot of crap because I'm the' heir','' complained Onodera, putting up his fingers to make air quotations. Loosely holding his cup, he took another sip. ''It's not that I'm ungrateful. I'm thankful I was born into such a good family. I really am. But the things is, I keep getting crap with this title and it really annoys me.''

Haitani nodded along, listening to Onodera rant. Alcohol made even the most tight-lipped of people talk.

''You know, at my previous company, which was my dad's company, Onodera Publishing, I overheard some of my old co-workers complaining about how they did all the work and got nothing while I got the star authors because of my family.''

''I see.''

Upset, the brunette drunk some more. ''I understand if some people think it's unfair, but I work really hard too. And then I decided, 'screw this, I can make a bestselling book on my own somewhere else.'''

Haitani chuckled, finding Onodera kind of amusing. Quickly, he darted his eyes over. The brunette's cup was almost half empty, but not quite. All the anger was making him drink more. While the brunette brought the cup up again, Haitani noted that the lightweight might be hitting his limit soon. Sure enough, Onodera rested his head on his hand, completely buzzed.

''How were things like for you?''

''Huh?'' Haitani focused his attention back onto the brunette.

Sedately, Onodera asked a personal question, probably forgetting that there was bad blood between the two men. ''How were things like for you in Earth? When the drama with Takano-San happened.''

''Oh.'' A flash of something bitter went across Haitani's face, but quickly disappeared. ''Lot's of things happened, Onodera-Kun.''

''Do you hate him?'' the brunette asked, drunk, referring to the raven. ''For stealing your lover, even if he said he left?''

Haitani smiled, but didn't experience the happy emotion behind one. ''Takano didn't care about it, so why should I?'' Recalling the events back then, the taller male drew his lips together into a tight line.

''You know what he said back then, Onodera-Kun?''

''What?'' asked Onodera, curious.

* * *

''_What are you trying to do, Takano?'' questioned Haitani fiercely, confronting the man. Things between him and his lover weren't like before, they were changing, and all because of one person. There was no way Haitani could allow himself to lose someone as important as this. ''Whatever you're trying to do, just stop it.''_

''_I'm trying to do my job right,'' answered the raven, back then still in the same average editor status as Haitani, but already known for his ruthless working style which collided with the upper management. The glare of the office lights reflected off his black-rimmed specs. Equally annoyed, Takano gave him a piece of advice. ''How about you tell that lover of yours to keep himself in check and stop creating trouble for other people? ''_

_Devoid of amusement, the look on Haitani's face could burn holes. ''Is that something you say to someone who's boyfriend you stole?''_

_Takano narrowed his eyes, his glare filled with irritation. He had things to do, and dealing with this shit was not one of them. ''For the thousandth time, I'm telling you, he was the one who fell for me, not the other way around.'' Unfolding his arms, the black-haired editor grabbed a few documents, leaving. This damn situation was getting him nowhere. ''I already told him many times before-I'm not interested.''_

''_Then try harder.''_

_The black-haired editor ignored him, making his way out the room._

''_I'm not done yet Takano.''_

_The raven turned, having had enough of this shit. ''Don't blame me if you can't keep your boyfriend.''_

* * *

''Don't blame me if you can't keep your boyfriend,'' Haitani echoed, recalling the uncaring way the raven spat his words.

''Oh,'' said Onodera, not the least bit surprised. ''Yeah, that's Takano-San, always pissing people off. Stupid Takano-San,'' blabbered the brunette. ''He's always making people confused… always acting like he's above the rest…. but even so… I …''

Opposite him, the taller editor took a quick look at the brunette. Onodera was a tipsy, but his guard was lowered, and he was still coherent enough to be spilling beans. A sly smile formed.

''So," started Haitani, moving in for the kill. ''What is your relationship with Takano-San?'' he asked, watching the brunette fumble around for an answer. ''Don't even bother lying to me Onodera-Kun,'' teased the editor. ''We both know better.''

Haitani stared at his friend, whose face was already flushed red, turn even redder, possibly from the drink–or something else.

''Well…its…''

''Are you dating him?'' asked the taller male.

''Um… I guess you could say that…'' Onodera didn't really want to give him a straight answer.

''He seems pretty fond of you.''

Onodera blushed.

''He's in love with me,'' the brown-haired male hiccupped, telling him the truth.

''So you're his special person, huh?'' prompted Haitani. ''No wonder he's so protective of you.''

His blush deepened.

''You know, I'm amazed Onodera-Kun,'' said Haitani, looking impressed. ''I never thought Takano would be capable of caring for anyone other than himself. So what's your story? ''

Onodera frowned.

''Come on Onodera-Kun,'' urged Haitani, smiling friendly at him. ''You keep my secret, and I can keep yours.'' He winked.

Onodera lowered his gaze, earing an expression mixed with many emotions of love and heartache – took hold of the brunette's features. Stretching his arm out, the brunette grabbed the drink and took another mouth of it.

''He was my first love. And I was his. ''

Surprised, Haitani's eyebrows rose.

_So these two have history._

In his intoxicated but honest state, the brunette explained. ''I watched him for three years back in high school…Then one day, seeing him in the school library in front of me…I-I confessed.'' Onodera hiccupped, smiling. ''To my surprise… Takano-San…. Saga-Senpai…agreed to go out with me.'' Then he frowned, as if he was utterly confused. ''But some misunderstanding happened-I thought he was playing with me. So I left the country to study in England. ''

Carrying an unreadable expression, Haitani listened.

Onodera laughed in disbelief of all that'd happened. ''That was really cowardly of me, huh? Leaving him like that….'' Somberly, he continued. ''And then, ten years later… I got transferred to the shoujo manga department in Emerald… Saga… Takano-San was my boss. . . Can you b-believe he actually remembered me?''

The brown-haired male leaned back against his chair. ''When I found out Takano-San was Saga-Senpai, you know what he told me, Haitani-San?''

''What ?'' asked Haitani.

Mirroring Haitani, Onodera echoed his words, remembering the brazen way Takano had declared his promise. ''I'll make you say you love me again.''

Haitani smirked. It all made sense now.

''And do you?''

''Huh?''

''Do you love him?'' asked Haitani. The most important question of all.

Bobbing his head slowly, Onodera lifted his gaze, and smiled like he'd admitted defeat. Some sort of expression that Haitani had never seen on him before formed on his face. A soft answer came out. ''Hai… I love him.''

Then he passed out, dropping his head on the table.

Watching Onodera with a smile, Haitani reached out a hand, patting the brunette's hair gently.


	37. Trump card

Onodera groaned, an ache pounding against his head. Slowly gaining conscious, he glances around the white room. Hanging shelves lined the room, decorated with miniature car sets, figurines and other trinkets. A big collection of shunen managa filled one shelf. He was lying on a bed, in a room which was not his.

And not Takano's.

Quickly, the editor shot up, glancing towards himself, panicking. Relieved to find himself fully clothed, Onodera slouched, and sighed.

_Where am I ? and how did I get here!_

Anxious, the editor tried to recall what happened the night before, remembering the fuzzy details.

_I went to work.. and then … Haitani called._

_Right, we went drinking._

_And_

Dreadfully, Onodera tighten his hand into fists. A painfully woeful expression painted his features.

_That's all I remember. _

''Oh, hey,'' said the owner, stopping at the door, holding a mug. '' I see you're up Onodera Kun,'' Haitani greeted him brightly. Seeing the brunette glancing around his round, the taller editor casually asked, '' Do you like my figurines?''

''Uh… yes,'' answered Onodera, going along with the flow, his mind too jumbled to think clearly.

''I like to pay attention to details,'' said the owner.

'' Ahahaha Haitani San,'' laughed Onodera awkwardly, praying he did nothing absurd during that big gap of space in his memory. '' I'm sorry for drinking so much yesterday. I hope I didn't do anything out of hand,'' he apologized.

''Nah, it cool Onodera Kun,'' said Haitani as his guest gets up. ''Do you want get anything while you're here? '' asked the taller male.

''Eh ? No, I'm fine thank you,'' said the brunette, embarrassed enough. Walking towards the living room quickly, Onodera turned around suddenly.

'' Did I – did I say anything weird?'' asked Onodera worriedly. ''We didn't. . . I mean, I didn't do anything weird to you, right?'' asked the editor, distress and panic clear in his deep green eyes.

Sly, Haitani grinned, making Onodera believe for the moment that they did do something together.

_Oh no_

Then the taller editor burst out laughing.

''You should have seen the look on your face Onodera Kun! No,no, of course no.'' The editor gives him a sincere smile, patting him on the shoulder.

'Ahahaha,'' Onodera laughed awkwardly in immerse relief, getting out of room quick. He passed through the living room when Haitani glanced back at him.

'' So, '' started the taller male as he leans against the kitchen counter, couldn't help teasing the brunette with a smile. '' You're Takano's first love huh?''

Haitani chuckled as Onodera fumbled with his words. ''W-wh-what did…How did y-y-ou... ''

''You told me yesterday when you got drunk,'' explained Haitani, taking a sip of his morning coffee, watching his friend's face exploded with color.

''Did I told you everything ?! ''

Nodding his head, Haitani takes a sip of his coffee. '' Yup, about you and Takano being first love in high school and how he's going to make you say you love him again. I thought you were joking Onodera Kun, but seeing your reaction now, it's the total truth, huh ?''

''Ahahahahaha... Please forget I said that! '' urged Onodera whole-heartedly, wanting to crawl into a hole and die. Never had he felt so so embarrassed in front of a friend before.

''No can do Onodera Kun,'' sang Haitani whimsically, as if he can let what he knew go. '' But I can keep this between us. Promise.'' He smiled.

The brown haired male avoided his eyes. ''Ahahaha… Thank you Haitani San, but please forget whatever I said,'' Onodera told him.

''Shall I tell Takano you're here?'' suggested Haiatni, on purpose.

''No! ''Onodera yelled frantically. Lowering his tone, he makes a request. ''I can go home myself. Please keep this from Takano San. '' _If Takano San finds out… _

Haitani grinned, giving the okay sign. '' Sure thing.'' Approaching the door, the taller editor unlocks it, letting his guest leave.

''I'm so sorry for the disturbance,'' apologised the brunette again, honestly unsettled. '' Thank you for having me here, Haitani San. ''

''No worries,'' the taller editor smiled broadly. '' You take care now.''

Weakly, Onodera smiled. Haitani's secretive grin made him felt uneasy, like he knew more than he's letting on.

* * *

_This is horrible_

Rushing his movements, Onodera leaves the apartment complex immensely distracted, feeling like he just committed the most unforgivable act possible.

_How the hell did I end up at Haitani San's apartment ? In that state furthermore?_

Hurriedly, he flags down a taxi, wanting nothing more but to go home.

_Why did I have to drink so much?_

Smacking himself on the head, the brunette desperately tried to recall his meeting last night. But all that came up was a blank mind and a frustrated sigh.

_Think Onodera , think._

In the overhead mirror, the taxi driver, who has in his mid-forties, glanced at him. '' Bad hangover ,Sir ?'' he asked.

''What?'' said Onodera, looking up, lost for a moment. '' Oh, Hai.''

The driver chuckled. '' You looked like you had a really smashing night.''

''…Hai…'' admitted Onodera weakly.

'' So what did you do last night ?'' asked the uncle. '' Judging from your expression, you look like you committed a crime or something. Or you can't remember.''

''I can't remembered,'' admitted Onodera dreadfully, not believing he actually forget his night. Hysterically running his hands through his hair, the sober editor groans at the fact, regretting his actions.

_Why did I had to drink so much ?_

'' Oh that's unforgivable,'' said the uncle, driving away. '' You young people are like that now, aren't you ? Living life recklessly. ''

Onodera couldn't even laugh.

_Just what did I tell Haiatni San last night ?!_

''The most important thing is you're responsible for your actions, and hold yourself accountable. As long as you do that, you're fine. You understand young man?''

''…..H-h-hai….'' Onodera mumbled faintly, his sense of guilty and dread deepening ten fold. Putting a hand on his forehead, the brown haired male stared open mouthed into space. Why did he get the feeling he did something wrong to Takano ?

_Didn't I tell you to stay away from him ? _The words echoed.

If Takano finds out….

_He's going to kill me. _

* * *

The next Monday morning, Onodera hurriedly gets dressed. Going up to at his door, he leaned against it and tried hearing for movements outside.

_Looks like it's safe._

He had already woken up earlier to avoid his neighbor; surely he won't run into him now. Opening his door, the brunette quickly gets out.

''Oh Onodera.''

At the sound of the sudden voice, Onodera jumped a few inches up in the air. Takano was getting out of his apartment, startling the brunette with his coincidentally time. '' You're up early too ?''

''Uh. . . Hai. . . ''. Avoiding meeting eyes at his neighbour, Onodera kept his head down, his end of his nerves felt like they were being fried.

_Why is this happening to me._

''Let's go,'' said Takano after he locked his door, taking it that Ritsu was going to work with him together.

Tightly gripping his doorknob, the editor blinked rapidly, dare not look at his neighbour. The second Takano looks at him, he'll know something's wrong.

''Aren't you coming?'' asked Takano.

''I forgot something !'' blurted his neighbour erratically, getting into his apartment and shutting his door.

Takano gave a quizzically look.

.

.

.

''What am i going to do ?'' wondered Onodera at work, fretting over his dilemma. At this rate, he might as well never speak to Takano again.

Sighing the brunette got up and walked out, heading towards the vending machine to get a drink.

Steeping into the room, Takano was the first thing he saw. The editor in chief was at the vending machine, getting a drink.

''Oh, Onodera.''

Immediately avoiding his gaze, the brunette hurried out the room, behaving like one of the editors who avoided the Team Emerald like a plaque.

''Ono...dera ?''

* * *

Over the next few days, the brunette avoided his neighbour, making excuses for missing dinner and running at every moment he saw him.

Coming back home, Onodera rode the lift up. The doors opened, revealing who was waiting for him outside his apartment. Takano leaned against the wall, eying him.

His heart nervously jumping , the brunette hurried past him quick.

''Ahahaha…..N-n-nice to see you Takano San.''

''Nice to see you too, Onodera.''

Reaching his unit, the editor jam in his keys.

''Onodera.''

The brunette jumped. '' T-takano San,'' he stammered, spinning around, coming face to face with his neighbour.

''Why are you avoiding me ?'' asked Takano, blocking the brunette's way.

''I-I'm not avoiding you,'' said Onodera, lowering his gaze away, like he was hiding from him.

''Then why aren't you looking at me?'' said Takano, challenging him.

''I'm not.''

''You are.''

''I'm not! '' claimed Onodera, struggling to come up with answer. Takano stared at him. '' I just . . .''

''Onodera,'' Takano lifts his chin up, his gaze unmoving. '' What are you hiding from me? ''

The brunette brushes his hand away. '' No, I'm just…I just…'' Resignedly, he lowered his gaze onto the floor, feeling Takano's piercing stare on him all time.

'' Just spit it out already !''

Bracing himself, Ritsu closed his eyes wearily. '' I got drunk and spend the night at Haitani's apartment.''

Takano's eyes widened.

''WHAT ?''

Onodera explained frantically, rushing his words. ''I was meeting him for dinner and drank too much so he bought me home.''

''Brought you home?! '' exclaimed Takano, raging. '' Didn't I tell you not to stay away from him ?!''

''He called me asking for dinner and I thought I would be fine ….'' Explained Onodera, defending himself.

''And look where you ended up ! '' yelled Takano, his normally fair cheeks flushed with rage. '' Did he…'' Takano struggled to get the words out, almost shaking. ''…Did he do anything to you ?'' he demanded.

'' Of course not!'' said Onodera. '' I mean he didn't. And neither did I.'' Anxiously, he adds one line. '' I was fully clothed!''

Takano stood very still for a second, probably having a different image in his head.

A beat later, he moved. ''I'm gonna kill him,'' he told Onodera, storming off with a murderous glare.

''Wait ! Takano San! '' Hurriedly, the brunette grabbed onto to him, holding Takano's arm firmly to prevent the raven from doing something stupid and rash.

''There's no way I can trust Haitani that he didn't do anything to you,'' said Takano, persistently heading for the lift with Onodera holding on to him. Repeatedly, Takano pressed the button.

''We-'' Onodera begun but stopped when he saw the look Takano gave at the word 'we' . ''I ,'' tried the brown haired male again, '' I didn't do anything. I swear on my life.''

Takano turned, jamming his finger into the button.

''Takano San.''

''…''

''Takano San !''

''Shut up !'' yelled the raven angrily, turning his brown eyes on Onodera for a second. Aware that he had shouted at Ritsu, Takano tried to compose himself, lowering his tone.

''You idiot, you won't even know if he did anything to you.'' Anxious and worried that his brunette was taken advantage of, the raven's eyebrows knitted together. '' When you get drunk, you don't even….'' Not explaining any further, the editor in chief left his words unsaid.

''Takano San,'' said Onodera quietly, his hold not as tight as before. The brunette knew where Takano was coming from. '' Nothing happened,'' said Ritsu earnestly, reassuringly. ''Please believe me.''

''You sure?''

''Yes.''

''Are you really sure ?''

''Yes.''

Unconvinced still, the black haired male waited for the door of the arrived lift to open.

''Please… '' said Ritsu, pleading. ''….please trust me. ''

Wordlessly, Takano stared in space.

''Nothing happened. Really.''

''Fine,'' he said, final giving in. Takano told Onodera one thing. '' If I find out Haitani did anything to you at all, I'm going after him.''

Without waiting for a reply, Takano wrapped his arms around the brunette and pulled him for a tight hug, his fingers tangled in the soft brown hair of his love.

''I'm sorry.''

Ritsu put his arms around him, trying to reassure him. Trying to apologise. '' I'm sorry. It won't happen again.''

Takano tighten his arms, the rare occurrence of worry breaking past his indifferent front.

_Ritsu_

* * *

Looking out the window of the two seater car, on a different day somewhere down the week Onodera watches the outside.

''Onodera,''

''Huh ?''

'' Let's have dinner together today. We'll eat out.''

''Hai,'' replied his neighbour absentmindedly, sounding like he wasn't listening. He catches the sight of a couple together. Surreptitiously, he glances to his side at the raven who was driving.

''What,'' said Takano, catching Ritsu in the act.

''Nothing,''

''What are thinking about ?'' asked the raven.

''Eh ?''

''You're looking like you hae something on your mind.''

''Nothing,'' replied the brunette. '' I'm just wondering how do some people end up being together.''

'' Why are you wondering about that?'' asked the editor in chief.

''Just wondering,'' said Ritsu.

''Fate,'' answered Takano, giving Onodera his answer.

Immediately, Onodera scoffed.'' As if that exist.'' It's probably these type of mentality people have which leads them to heartbreak after getting their delusions shattered. ''I think you're overworking yourself, Takano San.''

''You don't believe in it? '' asked the editor in chief.

''Of course not,'' said Ritsu, rolling his eyes at the idea of people's fate destined to intervene with something. '' Don't tell me you believe in it Takano San ?'' asked the brunette incredulously. His first love and ex-boss would be the last person he expects would believe in it, other than himself personally.

''How would you explain us then?'' asked Takano, challenging him with their circumstances. '' Not everyone cross path with their first love as their boss and neighbour after ten years you know.''

''It's just a coincidence,'' said Onodera.'' Like how people happened to be there when an accident happen,'' he tried to reason.

''You really think its just coincidence?'' questioned Takano. ''Not everyone gets to meet people they left,'' said the raven. And not everyone falls in love twice.

''Then it's probably Karma,'' said Onodera, a thought occurring to him. ''I thought meeting you again was Karma,'' confessed the brown haired male, remembering the awful feeling he had when thinking about him. What goes around comes gets their terrible memory of first love as their neighbour and new boss? Talk about luck.

A moment of silence occurred in the car.

''You don't have to say it like that,'' said Takano after a while, feeling wounded. '' It's not that bad.''

''I just don't believe in stuff like that,'' said Ritsu. Restless, he shifted in his seat, not able to wrap around the slightest idea that Takano Masamune, the tyrant editor in command of Emerald –a mostly cold and indifferent person, could have the faintest belief in fate.

Love was acceptable, but fate?

Onodera eyed the hanging plushy, newly decorated. ''I honestly don't get you,'' said the brunette.

* * *

The day passed quickly, and it was night time.

''Is it okay if we go for a drive ?'' asked Takano after their dinner.

''To where ?''

''The place I bought you on Christmas.''

'' I guess it's okay,'' said the brunette, feeling pensive himself.

_Maybe it would be good to clear my mind._

Surreptitiously, he glanced over at Takano. The same indifferent mask was on.

_I guess Takano San feels the same too. _

.

.

.

Slowly, the brunette opened his eyes. He had fallen asleep in his seat again, like last time. Peering out the window, he saw Takano standing outside. Exiting the car, Onodera approached his neighbour, keeping his eye on him. Takano was standing by himself – alone figure in the open.

_I never realised. _

''What ?'' asked the raven, as the brunette approached.

''Nothing,'' answered the brunette. For once, Takano decided not to push him for it.

_How lonely you looked._

* * *

_._

_._

_._

''The view is nice,'' said Onodera, looking out at the city.

''Uh huh,'' muttered Takano.

''Why did you want to go for a drive all of a sudden ?''

''For a piece of mind,'' said Takano. '' I used to come here when I need to think. It's a great spot. Quiet and peaceful.''

''Oh.''

_What could be bothering him?_

It did feel peaceful, in the quiet of the night. Side by side, quietly, they admire the scenery before them.

.

.

.

* * *

'' I think it's time we go,'' said Onodera. '' I still have work to do.'' As the brunette started to head back, the editor in chief called out to him.

''Hey,'' said Takano, looking uncertainty on to the ground. '' You do like me, right ?'' he asked, his dark orbs landing onto the person he loves. He couldn't be imaging all this stuff on his own, right ?

''What do you mean?'' asked Onodera, confused about the sudden weird question. _Of course I do._

''You…. You do have feelings for me, right?'' asked the black haired male, standing opposite him. This can't be an illusion on his part, right ?

''Of course I do,'' said the brunette. He does.

''Then-'' Takano hesitated; afraid of what's he asking for. '' Do you love me?''

It's a simple yes or no question. Yes or no.

Silently, Onodera stood, wide –eyed at the question. ''Why are you asking me this?''

''Do you love me or not?'' All his waiting, all this time. It has to amount to something. ''You can tell me you love me, I'm ready to hear it.'' He has always been ready.

Directing his gaze away, Onodera looked away apologetically. Heat rushed to his cheeks as a look of conflict took hold of his expression. ''You… I . . . I''

''Never mind,'' said Takano, watching how conflicted Ritsu looked. It was a mistake asking him this. Taking a few steps, the editor in chief was ready to leave when a sudden bust of his name was called.

''Wait''

Moving forward, Onodera took his hand. Looking into his eyes, the brunette place the raven's hand over his chest, the palm covering the place above his heart.

_BADUMP… BADUMP… BADUMP_

Heavily, the beat of the brunette's heart ran under his palm, Takano widened his eyes, immediately feeling it.

''Can you feel that ? '' Ritsu stares at him, looking into his eyes.

_BADUMP… BADUMP… BADUMP_

''This-'' said Ritsu softly, slowly. ''-is what you're making me feel.''

In a rash move, the brown haired male placed his own over the rave's chest. Against him, Onodera could feel the same rapid rhythm beating, running wild.

_BADUMP… BADUMP… BADUMP_

Ritsu looks at him. ''You get it now, right?''

* * *

''You want to know how you make me feel ?'' said Takano after removing his hand.

''Yes'' the brunette said softly.

_How do I . . . make you feel. . ._

Takano puts a hand at the back of the brown haired male's head.

''Then I'll show you.'''

He leans in, titling his head. Eyelids close slowly over green eyes before dragging up again. Slightly, the brunette parts his lips. The raven opens his mouth, and closes over Ritsu's. Closing their eyes, their lips touch.

_I'm out of my mind_

Ritsu put his hand around the raven's neck. An arm surrounds him, holding on.

_Because all I want to do, is go home with him._

Their slow exchange of heat makes the brunette not want to stop.

_I…_

_I love…_

Him.

* * *

''I –''

Face to face with himself, the brunette tried again.

''I –''

His reflection stared back at him, the frustration mirroring back. Onodera looked into the mirror, trying to get the words out. Again and again, the words got stuck in his throat.

'' I lov -''

Wearily, Onodera sighed. He can't even look at himself while saying this. Thinking of that one person, the brunette tried saying the words.

''I lov. . . .I love. . . you.''

Again, he sighed.

_Why is this so hard ?_

* * *

_My leash is expiring soon._

Reminded of the fact, Onodera checked his calendar. In a few days, the date for renewal was due. While staring at the date, the possibility of options other than renewing his lease popped up. The letter for renewal arrived weeks ago.

_Living with Takano San…._

_Does he even know what he is getting into?_

Onodera closed his letter.

_What am I thinking, I should just renew my lease._

* * *

'' Have you ever gone for a night stroll after dinner ?'' asked Takano.

''Eh? '' said Onodera, wondering about his random question. '' No.''

'' I haven't either,'' said Takano. '' Come take on with me.'' Anxiously, he grabbed the brunette's hand, dragging him along.

_What's with him ?_ Wondered Onodera, thinking about his random plans.

'' What's with the sudden plan, Takano San ?''

''It's good for digestion.''

Onodera scoffed, trying to pull back.

'' I don't have some much time you know.''

Takano persisted; the unsettling feeling over the incident with Haitani was clawing into him again, digging into his insecurities. He needs to find a way to calm down other than smoking , drinking and jerking off.

''Let's just go.''

* * *

Onodera stood.

Takano stood.

Together, they were at the river side, watching patches of darkness.

To his side, the brunette glanced at his neighbour.

''Um . . . How long do you plan to stay here ?''

''Just for a while,'' said Takano, already deep in his own thoughts. The air around him seem to solidify.

'_Takano San… really does things I can't comprehend sometimes,'_ Onodera keep the thought to himself, giving his neighbour pointed looks.

Once again, they were engulfed by the quietness surrounding them at night. Left by himself, the editor's mind wandered.

_What… do you call this relationship? _

Onodera blushed at his thought.

_Are . . . we sort of lovers?_

And then he moved his sight downwards.

_Which involves two men ?_

He darted his eyes over at his neighbour.

_At least Takano's sure on his feelings this time._

_I still don't you much about you. What you like, what you dislike. What happen to you all these years? I know bits and piece. But I still don't have you figured out, Takano San. I don't know how to talk to you. I have no idea where we're heading._

The time Takano was laughing with Yokozawa surfaced.

_I don't really know what or even how to . . . . . . make you happy._

''What's wrong?'' asked Takano, noting the expression Ritsu gave.

''Nothing,'' answered his love. Ritsu looked away before meeting his eyes, and looked away again. ''It's just… I don't see you smile very often,'' said the brunette, stating a fact.

Looking at the editor who had his head down, Takano sensed something running deep in the brunette beside him.

''I love you.''

''Eh ?'' Onodera turned around, surprised.

''I love you,'' said Takano. Ritsu stares wide eyed at him.

Takano goes one, guessing what was probably bothering him.'' I want to be with you. Being around you makes me happy.''

Onodera doesn't know what to say. ''I . . .''

''Live with me,'' said Takano. The vision of Ritsu in his apartment, getting coffee after waking up flood his mind. '' I want to see you everyday.''

''Why… why are you always saying things like this ? '' asked Onodera, pressured by his words.

''I've been thinking about the question you asked – about what do I hope to get out of dating you. And I really want to be lovely dovely with you- '' said the editor in chief.

'' Don't you have anything else to say ?'' questioned Ritsu.

''I-'' continued Takano, not done with what he wanted to say. Takano looks at him. ''I want to spend the rest of my life with you.''

''Tell me you love me,'' said the raven. Takano wants to hear it back. He demands to hear it back.

''I.. I can't say it,'' splurted Ritsu, honestly not able to.

''Why not ?'' demanded Takano. '' What's so hard about admitting it ?'' He grabbed Onodera's shoulders. '' You just have to say you love me, what's so difficult about that ?''

''It's not that simple !'' snapped Ritsu. '' For one thing, which couple would do things without asking the other ? That are more things to consider than just our feelings Takano San. It'stwo men together. We can't just go out in public holding hands and get affectionate,'' shouted the bruennte. He lets out a big breathe of air, continuing explaining. '' You think my parents would be accepting of this?'' he asked, looking at him with green eyes. '' We're two men together, Takano San, and I don't have a clue about what to do if we're together. We're not living in a shoujo manga where everything will work out in the end. Reality doesn't work like that. You think we have a future together ?'' Onodera asked.

Momentarily, Takano stays quiet.

''Do you get the situation now?'' said Onodera, laying it out clearly for him. '' This isn't something I can just jump into. This is real and involves both of our lives.'' He already lost once the first round -this time the loss will be even bigger. Onodera Ritsu can't lose in love again. '' When I was in high school I used to think being by your side was enough, but things are much more than that.'

Takano remains quiet. Onodera thinks they finally reached it, the point where they agree that there's no future for the both of them together, the point where it ends.

''I knew it,'' muttered the brunette. '' There's no future for the both of us.'' There's no point to their relationship after all. Anger about everything, he turns to leave.

''I understand,'' started Takano, stopping Ritsu.'' That you're worried and scared about the future, and I would be lying to if I said I wasn't.'' Stopping his movements, the brown haired male with the magnificent green eyes listen at attention. '' We're not teenagers anymore, I know. We're adults. And I get that you have your family and taking over the company to worry about, and that we have issues to deal with than just you admitting that you love me.''

Takano faces him, looking into his beautiful bright eyes. '' But Ritsu, I am absolutely sure you are the only person I want to be with in this life, and if you don't feel confident about our future, it's fine. Because I have enough resolution for the both of us. So please, spend the rest of your life with me.''

_Badump Badump Badump_

Takano moves forwards to hug him, embracing the love of his life.

Wordlessly and unlovingly, Onodera stood as the raven hugs him.

''Tell me you love me.''

* * *

Holding on to his phone, the owner stared nervously at the name he was about to call. Gathering his courage, the brunette dialed the number.

''Hello,''

''Ritsu ?''

.

.

.

* * *

Onodera checked his phone.

_Haitani Shin–Calling_

Sliding his finger across the phone, Onodera hung up the call. Moments later the phone lit up again.

_Haitani Shin–Calling_

The brunette ended the call. Again, the caller showed up.

_Haitani Shin–Calling_

Uncertainly, the brunette stared at his phone, vibrating persistently in his hands. He answered it hesitatingly.

''. . . . . . Hello?''

''Onodera-Kun,'' said Haitani, sounding serious. ''Can we meet up? It'll be quick. I have something I want to tell you. ''

''What is it?''

''Takano-San,'' said Haitani. ''Doesn't really love you. ''


	38. Down the rabbit hole

''Takano's not in love with you,'' repeated Haitani over the phone.

_What?_

''I think it's better for me to explain this in person,'' said the tall editor. His opening sentence had already begun to mess with the brunette's mind.

.

.

.

* * *

Wondering about his words and wanting to know what was going on, Onodera found himself meeting up with Haitani at the base of the lobby. He'd already been out of the building when he'd called, and had to go back.

Haitani greeted him solemnly. ''Hi, Onodera-Kun.''

''What did you mean. . . about. . . about that?'' asked the brown-haired male, too shaken by anything else to care about salutations.

''He's not in love with you, Onodera-Kun,'' said the usually friendly editor, now strictly serious.

''How do. . . how do you know?'' asked Onodera, confusion beginning to take hold.

''That time when we went out drinking, you got drunk and told me everything. I figured it out and guessed I should probably let you know. You're only being played.''

''Wait,'' Onodera stopped him. ''Didn't you say he's not that type of person?''

Noticing the hint of doubt growing in the brunette's green eyes, Haitani continued. ''He's out for revenge. Think about it. What type of person would say 'I'll make you say I love you again'? And I'm sure Takano didn't do it in a romantic way, did he?''

The absolutely determined way Takano had said it, followed by the words he said next , came rushing back at him.

_I'll make you say you love me again._

_Just you wait._

''That's not true,'' said Onodera. It couldn't be.

''Come on Onodera-Kun, shouldn't it be obvious by now? Why do you think he's so persistent?'' prompted Haitani, adding to the confusion. The taller editor stated one undeniable fact. ''Takano doesn't half-ass anything.''

With befuddled eyes, Onodera stared at the taller editor, trying to search for clarity in the disruptive storm his mind was in.

"This 'love','' the taller editor spat the word, ''is nothing more than revenge to him. A tick off the list of things he needs to do.''

''But that's not what you said last time…'' Onodera tried to argue. It wasn't making any sense. None of it was.

''That's 'cause I didn't know the whole story back then,'' said Haitani. ''Now that I know, I'm going to tell you this, Onodera-Kun he's just playing with you.'' Eyes gazed coolly at him. ''Takano's just out to get back at you. He's not interested in anything else. ''

Utterly confused, Onodera tried to gain a hold of things. ''Haitani-San, I don't know what you're talking about, but Takano-San is not that kind of person.'' Was everything just for show? Was everything he said just to make him fall for him? ''Why would he do that?''

Was everything a joke again?

''Because you dumped him on his ass back in high school,'' Haitani told him. ''Without a backwards glance. And you couldn't remember him when you met him again, right?''

That was true. Onodera couldn't remember him. To that, the brown-haired editor couldn't answer.

''Takano - '' started Haitani. '' - doesn't half-ass anything. Whatever task he does, he finishes it spectacularly well. That was how he dragged Emerald back onto its feet. That's how he's getting you to fall for him and say you love him again.''

''But-'' Onodera opened his mouth, but no words came out.

_Takano-San couldn't be that low._

_Right?_

''Getting you to fall in love with him,'' explained the editor , ''and making you admit it, is just one of the tasks he needs to complete.''

''Why are you telling me this?'' asked Onodera. It didn't make sense, but all the times spent with the raven came back to him in rapid motion.

_I loved you for the past ten years._

_No matter what I did, I couldn't forget you._

_Tell me you love me._

_I love you._

''You don't believe me, do you?'' said Haitani, seeing the doubt in his green eyes.

''No,'' said Onodera unbelievingly. It couldn't all be for show, all for revenge? This couldn't all be a lie, right? ''I don't.'' Onodera closed his eyes, shutting them together as he winced. Old and deep crushing pressure squeezed his chest painfully. A storm was spinning in his mind. It felt like high school all over again.

_Was that why he was always pressuring me?_

''Then,'' said the taller male, ''why don't we find out for ourselves?''

* * *

_What is going on?_

Thoughts raced through his mind as Onodera waited.

''Don't worry Onodera-Kun,'' Haitani told him as he stood behind the door of the emergency escape. ''You don't have to do anything. I'm gonna have a conversation with Takano. You'll find out for yourself.''

''Isn't that eavesdropping?'' asked the brunette, conflicted and torn about everything.

''Better to catch him by surprise,'' said Haitani. ''There's no way he'll admit it if you're around.''

''I don't think we should do this,'' said Onodera, uncomfortable about everything.

''You don't really want to know, do you?'' asked Haitani. The brunette didn't want to do this at all. ''You're afraid to find out.''

With a troubled expression and conflicted green eyes, Onodera didn't answer him, clutching his bag.

* * *

Takano's phone vibrated. An unknown number was calling him.

''Hello?'' he said, picking up the call.

''Takano,'' a familiar voice greeted him. Haitani Shin.

''What do you want?'' asked Takano, his expression changing darkly at the voice.

''I think it's time we talk,'' said Haitani.

.

.

.

* * *

Takano Masamune exited the lift, immediately spotting Haitani when the doors opened.

''So,'' said Haitani, meeting eyes with Takano, ''Onodera is your special person, huh?''

Takano glared, walking up to him. ''What do want?'' snarled the raven. This guy was the last person he wanted to see. He had no idea what Haitani was planning, but it couldn't be good.

''Do you really love him?'' asked Haitani amusedly, looking at him with mirth in his eyes.

Takano tightened his fists. ''How did you know my apartment number?''

Haitani began to play with his mind. ''You really think I would pass up the chance to bring Ritsu back home?''

Slamming him against the wall, Takano was ready to shred him to bits.

''What do you want ?''

With his back against the wall, Haitani straightened himself, matching to Takano's full height. ''I thought it was strange how protective you were of him. That someone like you could know what love is,'' said the editor, looking evenly into the opposite editor in chief's eyes. ''It wasn't until Onodera told me what happened between the two of you, and what you said you would do, that it made sense.''

A flash of startled surprise swept across brown eyes, followed by a sick sinking feeling twisting in his stomach. He knew.

The raven sharpened his glare. ''What are you suggesting?''

''Come on Takano, you don't have to pretend here,'' said the person he had bad blood with. This is his trump card. ''It's just the two of us.''

''I don't know what you're saying,'' said Takano, in denial. Uneasiness, and something heavier started to pool within him. ''But you better stop messing around.'' Growling out his next words, he warned the editor. ''If you do anything to Ritsu, I will _kill_ you.''

''That's pretty funny,'' answered Haitani, ''coming from the person who dated him for revenge.''

Hearing the statement out loud, the editor in chief denied it. ''It's not like that,'' said Takano, struggling with himself. With his actions. What they had was mutual. Then and now. It was all mutual.

''Poor Onodera-Kun, he doesn't know, does he?'' prompted Haitani, digging into him now. ''You're dating him out of spite. You're just after him for revenge.''

''You're full of crap,'' said the raven. He had his head lowered now. The memory of how Ritsu struggled against his forceful kisses slapped Takano in the face. "It's not like that,'' he yelled, breathing heavily. It's not. It's not.

''See Takano-San, that's why I admire you. Even though I disagree with the things you do, I have to say, I admire the way you do whatever you want to get what you want. It's really. . . . . amusing to see you pull all sorts of tricks to get there.''

''You always have to make things difficult, huh Takano?'' Haitani smiled at him. ''You know, I was really _pissed_ over what happened back at Earth. And how you really didn't give a shit about anything. But then-'' He put a hand on the editor-in-chief's shoulder, grinning at him again. ''I decided to let bygones be bygones.''

''What the hell do you want?''

''I don't want anything,'' Haitani told him. ''I,'' he smirked, ''I just want to let you know the consequences of your actions.''

''Don't blame me if you can't keep your boyfriend,'' said Takano, still unapologetic for what had happened.

Haitani glared. ''You really haven't learn anything at all, have you ?'' he spat, a flash of fury flashed across his eyes, but then the editor composed himself.

''Me and you,'' said Haitani, smoothing out Takano's shirt, like they were old friends, old comrades, instead of two people at each other's throat. ''We're not that different. We both have goals we want to achieve.'' Haitani looked at Takano. ''And we do things to meet that goal.''

Breathing heavily, Takano told himself there was no sense to what he was saying. ''I'm nothing like you,'' he said, repeating the words he'd told Ritsu. His love was sincere.

Haitani looked at Takano, taking in the desperation he had now. The raven might've seemed proud, and he might've behaved like he was above the rest, but now he was practically on his knees, repenting for his sins. This was his revenge; letting Takano lose his precious person and see for himself who he really was.

Haitani Shin had him trapped.

''So, are you trying to get back _with_ him-or get back _at_ him?'' asked Haitani knowingly, smirking. It was so obvious that he was in love with Ritsu, but the guilt and fear the black-haired male felt was also clear. ''He probably still doesn't know you wanted revenge in the first place,'' said Haitani loudly. ''If he did, Onodera wouldn't even be here anymore.''

Takano lowered his head. There was nothing he could do or say to deny that. The forceful way he handled things, the constant fear of losing him.

''Say,'' Haitani said coolly, suggesting something. ''What do you think would happen if Onodera ever found out about this?'' Until he breaks, Haitani's not happy. Quietly, the short-haired editor leaned in, whispering, ''He's not that stupid to stay, right Takano?''

Takano clenched his teeth. ''Shut up,'' he demanded, slamming Haitani against the wall, trying to keep everything under control. ''It's n-not like that. . . '' The impenetrable hold he had was finally slipping away.

''Pushing him, restricting him, going around dragging him with you, you really think you could change his mind?''

''Shut up!''

''Admit it,'' said Haitani. ''You wanted it in the first place.''

''I-I-I wanted it in the beginning,'' admitted the raven, nothing else he could say. ''I did want to hurt him…but I...'' Ritsu's smiling face appeared in his mind. Too ashamed to continue, Takano dropped it. _I can't lose him again._

Amused, Haitani humphed. Then he dropped his smile. ''You're nothing but a player, someone who knows nothing about love.''

''I truly love him,'' whispered Takano, filled with anguish. He lifted his head to meet Haitani in the eyes. ''And if you ever tell him about this, I will kill you,'' he said firmly. Ritsu can never know about this.

''You don't get it, do you?'' Haitani held his gaze. ''I'm not going to hurt Onodera. He's nice. Too nice. I could spread a rumour about him sleeping with his former boss, but where's the fun in that?'' Haitani was out for blood. ''The one I'm against is you.''

''Can you really call him yours?'' asked Haitani, watching Takano's expression turn vicious. ''You're very close to your goal. It would be a shame if you screwed it up now, huh?'' Takano was gripping his shirt so tightly, the fabric might have ripped any minute.

Leaning in, the short-haired editor whispered his next words. ''Me and you, we're not that different after all.''

''I'm nothing like you,'' Takano whispered.

''You're never going to get him back.''

At arm's length,Takano held the editor against the wall, like he was trying to keep the possibility at bay.

Haitani smiled at him, like he'd already won, like everything was over.

''What are you smiling about?''

Haitani said nothing, merely gesturing his head to the side. Takano followed.

Standing by the fire escape exit, was Onodera Ritsu.

* * *

Onodera looked at him.

''O-O-Onodera.'' For the first time in a long while, Takano Masamune was at a loss of what to do.

Ritsu faced him, using his greens eyes, and looked at him. Coming forward, he asked, ''Is what he said true? That you wanted revenge?''

''I-I…I…''

''Yes or No?'' It was a simple yes or no question.

Takano couldn't answer. He couldn't face Ritsu. This was the dirty part of him; the part that he wanted to hide from his love.

The tyrant editor-in-chief, called ''Mr Capable'' for his feat, had no answer for his actions.

''Why aren't you answering me?'' asked Ritsu. Seeing that he received no reply, he dropped his head down. ''I'll listen to you,'' Ritsu told him. Lifting his head up, the brunette's big green eyes were earnest. If Takano said no, it meant no. ''I'll take your word for it. You tell me–Yes or No?''

''I love you,'' Takano told him.

''Yes or No?''

''I love you.''

''I don't want to hear that!'' snapped Ritsu, the most agitated he had ever been. Taking a moment to compose himself, he blinked his glistening emerald eyes. Swallowing, he demanded one answer. ''I only want to know, did you do this out of revenge?''

The raven lowered his head, unable to face him. A whisper of an answer came out. This was the part of himself he hated, the disgusting part of himself that he was ashamed of. The ugliest part of him. ''Yes.''

''So this was all for revenge?''

''No,'' said Takano, his gaze lowered. Moving his brown eyes towards Ritsu, he said sincerely. ''I really am in love with you. I didn't expect myself to fall for you again, but I did.''

Ritsu looked at him.

Haitani's voice rang out from the back. ''Do you really believe that, Onodera-Kun?'' he said skeptically. ''After all that he's done so far, you really believe his intentions changed?'' he asked. How cheap the raven's words sound right now.

Takano was so ashamed of himself, that he had no comeback. ''Initially, I…I wanted to get back at you for leaving me like that. For not remembering me,'' admitted the raven, the smallest he's ever been. ''I love you, I really do love you, Ritsu.''

''You,'' said Ritsu, the corner of his lips quirking up into a wry smile as his shoulders shook, a single tear rolling down his cheek, ''really are the worst.''

Putting his arms around the person he loved, Takano could only repeat the phrase, ''I love you.''

''You really don't deserve mercy, do you?'' said Ritsu, breaking away from his hold. ''I have to go.'' Takano didn't stop him.

Without a backwards glance, the brunette headed for the lift. The doors closed, sealing him away, taking him down.

''You really blew it Takano,'' said Haitani, peeling himself off the wall he was leaning on. ''You brought this onto yourself, you know,'' he added. ''Honestly, I wasn't so sure if this was going to work out since he seemed so in love with you. But if anything,'' he chuckled, ''you really lost him this time around.''

Wordlessly, Takano stood.

''Ah,'' Haitani continued, walking up to him, ''but don't blame me if you can't keep your boyfriend.''


	39. Outcome

He didn't plan for this to happen.

He didn't plan for any of this to happen. Meeting the boy who broke his heart so badly that for a few years he couldn't even breathe properly. That little brunette grew up, now every bit of an adult as he was.

And of course, he didn't plan to fall in love with him again.

Never.

He'd planned to break his heart, to get back at him for all those years. For forgetting him. For all the shit he'd put him through during and after high school.

He was going to make him say, "I love you" again.

Because he could. Because he can.

The biggest twist was not meeting him, but falling in love with him all over again.

He'd wondered why Ritsu had left. Why he'd said he loved him, only to disappear.

Maybe he'd just been playing with him after all.

Ritsu was smart enough not to leave a name that could leave a trail behind, leaving Takano biting the dust.

His dad was not his dad. The person who'd said he loved him had a fiancé, and suddenly all the things that could go wrong, did.

So he'd lashed out, venting in shallow, unhealthy ways that left him with a deeper void than before.

Recovery was hard. Getting back on his feet was hard. Piecing himself back together again was hard. He was grateful he had Yokozawa there to support him. Without him, who knew what hellhole he'd be in.

But Takano didn't love him.

At some point, after his recovery, he'd learned to give up on waiting. To abandon all hope. That it was better if he cared less about certain things. That things were the way they were for a reason, and that he'd never see Ritsu again.

And despite soldiering through the years of his lost and confused youth, he learned that no, he still didn't have it figured out, and maybe never would.

Life went on, and time passed. Sometimes the past hurt, but most of the time it was more of a bad memory.

He never did fall in love with anyone else. It was always only him. He'd never felt anything for another person.

Shit happened.

Life went on.

Then one day, he showed up as a newbie editor with no experience in manga editing at all.

Ritsu.

No wonder he couldn't shake the feeling that they had met before.

He was angry. He was pissed, disgruntled, and mad that Onodera could forget about him so easily and cleanly when he'd said he loved him. He couldn't do the same.

So he'd reminded him of the things they'd done together when he'd confessed his love, a feeling they'd both shared.

The both of them had confronted each other, clearing the issue once and for all. It had all been a misunderstanding, it turned out.

Ritsu thought he'd been playing with him, for laughing at his question, and held that grudge for ten years.

So dumb.

He could do it again–make him say 'I love you.'

Ritsu had left him so easily-without a backwards glance.

He could do it too.

That was the dirty part of him.

_I can do it. I can make him say 'I love you again.'_

That was the ugliest part of him

That's what he'd thought. . .until he'd fallen in love with him first.

Ritsu.

His love was real.

His mission had become real.

But it was a lot harder than he'd thought it'd be.

For one thing, Ritsu had changed. He didn't smile at him anymore. He didn't even want to see him.

For Ritsu, it's not a matter of can or can't do. Once he'd said I'm going to do something, he'll do everything to make it happen.

_"I've always liked that about you."_

The thing he'd liked about Ritsu had turned against him.

_"I will never fall for you again."_

Anxiety spreads. When he sees the anxiety and panic Ritsu has when he tries to leave, he got it too.

He was scared. He was terrified. The whispers at the back of his mind told him that he'd never win Ritsu back. He knew why.

But Ritsu was so earnest and direct, that he just knew that when the brunette said it, he'd mean it, and the feeling would be mutual.

He couldn't lose him again.

He would be alright, even if it hurt a little bit.

All or fall.

One more chance, the last to get things right.

His heart wouldn't settle, and it refused to be silenced.

But he'd been so out of touch with his emotions, his feelings–on how to communicate.

Takano could only say he loved him.

He loved him. He loved him. He loved him.

Never could he say the same for anyone else.

Ritsu.

He'd turned into a slave to his own emotions.

He was desperately in love with him.

He wanted him.

He needed him.

There was no excuse for not having him.

And he'd blown it.

Ritsu was right. He didn't deserve mercy.

Haitani was right. He'd brought this onto himself.

It was his karma for wanting revenge in the first place.

.

.

.

Takano Masamune started the engine. Alone, at the place where he'd viewed the city scenery with Ritsu on Christmas last year, he put his car on reverse, driving it back down the road, alone.

Ritsu wasn't coming back.

* * *

Back in his apartment, he could hear a growing commotion outside. Checking the noise, the editor-in-chief opened the door, spotting a group of people busy working in the hallway.

Movers.

People dressed in uniform were moving things out of Ritsu's apartment, clearing everything. Heavy furniture was being carried down the stairs first, while stacks of books were already thrown out in boxes, occupying the hallway.

''Move quickly fellows! We still have a lot to go,'' one of the guys shouted, giving the order to act faster. ''We're supposed to clear this out as fast as possible.''

''Hai!''

Without another glance, Takano closed his door.

* * *

Not five minutes later, there came a knock.

Takano ignored it.

The knocking came again, frantic this time.

Ignoring it still, Takano pulled out a cigarette, about to light it when he heard a call.

''TAKANO-SAN!''

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Ritsu's voice shouted over his fervent knocking.

''Taka-''

Standing outside, the brunette knocked again, when the door flew open, revealing a bewildered Takano. Greeting with him wide eyes, Onodera looked about the same as a few hours ago.

''Can I-''

Quick and fast,Takano pulled him into a tight hug.

Hesitantly, and stuck in the editor-in-chief's hold, Onodera asked with an equally bewildered look, ''Can I bring my stuff in?''

* * *

Hurling one of the boxes in, Takano went past Onodera, who had his arms full with two more. The movers were leaving all of the brunette's stuff abandoned in the hallway. Shoving the last few boxes in, the brunette pushed them to the side, kneeling. A moment of silence occurred as the two editors caught their breath.

''So,'' said Takano, breaking the quiet atmosphere. ''What's this about?''

Staring into his box of items, Onodera wondered how to start. ''How do I tell you this. . .'' The brunette told him what had happened quietly. ''. . . I. . . I told my mom about us. . . she didn't take it too well.''

Ritsu sat at the dining table, beginning the inevitable talk he was bound to have. His mom was standing; her back facing him with her arms placed by her side. Bracing himself, the brunette listened. The phone call he made was bad enough, talking to his mom personally was a lot worse.

As expected, the shouting started.

_''What's this about?'' questioned Mama Onodera, her shrill voice filling the room, the same shriek that travelled over the phone when her son had called her to talk. Mama Onodera thought back to the phone call they had:_

_Holding on to his phone, the owner stared nervously at the name he was about to call. Gathering his courage, the brunette dialed the number._

_''Hello,''_

_''Ritsu ?''_

''_Mom.''_

''_Oh Ritsu,'' greeted Mama Onodera brightly. '' This is a surprise- getting a call from you.''_

''_Hai'' said her son. '' . . . I have something to tell you.''_

''_What is it ?''_

''…''

''_Ritsu ?''_

''_I have someone I love.''_

''_Really ? '' Mama Onodera exclaimed in surprised .'' That's great! Who is she?''_

_Her son paused._

''_A man.''_

'' _What ?''_

''_A man,'' said Ritsu, repeating himself. '' The person I love is a man.''_

_Silence._

_''A man ?''_

_''. . . hai. . . ''_

''_This isn't funny Ritsu. You shouldn't joke about this type of things.''_

''_I'm not joking.''_

_Silence._

''_I-''_

''_What is this about ?'' she demanded. _

''_I-''_

''_I want you explain this to me personally, Ritsu.'' Mama Onodera told him. _

_Meeting her son face to face now, she was blowing a fuse. ''Falling in love with a man?!''_

_''Mom… the person I love is a man,'' Onodera told the older women quietly. ''I love him.''_

_''DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!?'' Mama Onodera asked, the most distressed she'd ever been. ''RITSU!?''_

_''Hai, I know what I'm saying. I know this isn't what you and Dad had in mind for me,'' said the brunette and heir to the family business. ''But as your son, I thought I should let you know that I-I have someone I love.''_

_''Do you really know what you're saying?''_

_''Hai.''_

_''And you're saying that you want to be with him?''_

_"Hai."_

_''This is unacceptable Ritsu,'' stated the lady, putting her foot down. Her son had avoided the engagement with An-Chan for years, without a proper plan in mind, but this was the last thing she'd expected to happen. Each time she'd asked if Ritsu had anyone else in mind, he always said no, so how could he suddenly turn around and fall in love with another man? ''This doesn't make sense.''_

_Onodera stared at the table. ''I know how I feel.''_

_''How are you going to produce an heir for the family? How are you even going to take over the company like this?''_

_''Mom,'' said Ritsu, ''The person I love happened to be a guy. I-I really want to be with him.''_

_''I'm not accepting this Ritsu,'' said Mama Onodera, going against her son's wishes. ''Are you doing this because of what happened with An-Chan?''_

_''No,'' said Onodera, his irritation flaring. Raising his voice, the brunette told her straight out what he felt. ''I am not doing this because of her or anyone else. I'm doing this because I want to.'' Averting his eyes, he told her one more thing. ''And I don't plan on taking over the company,'' said the designated heir. ''I don't think I'm right for it.''_

_''YOU DON'T WANT TO TAKE OVER THE COMPANY?!'' yelled Mama Onodera, beyond shocked. ''Ritsu, if don't take over the company, who else will?'' The whole conversation they were having was absurd._

_The brunette didn't answer her._

_''Ritsu,'' said the parent, trying to talk some sense into him. ''I didn't raise you to be like this. You think your Dad will agree to this?''_

_''I'm not trying to push my responsibilities as the only son, but I just…want be with him.''_

_''Ritsu,'' retorted his mom. ''You are my only son. How can I let you do this?''_

_''Please, let me do it.''_

_Mama Onodera fumed._

_''I'm very sure of how I. . . '' Onodera drifted off, ''. . .of how he feels Mom.''_

_''I'm not accepting this, Ritsu.''_

_Onodera, her flesh and blood, son and heir of their family business, didn't answer her._

_''Are you really going to act this way?!'' demanded Mama Onodera, seeing that her son wasn't budging despite her rebuttals._

_''Yes,'' said Onodera. ''This is the choice I made.''_

_''Fine,'' said the mother of the brunette. ''Then unless you wake up to your senses and admit your mistake, I don't have a son like you.''_

* * *

''You told her?'' asked Takano, shocked and wide-eyed.

''Yeah,'' admitted Ritsu, remembering the message he got soon after. ''After that, I got an update saying that my bank account was frozen, and pretty soon after that she cut off my phone line too. I didn't expect her to throw me out of my own apartment though.'' That was beyond his worst-case scenario, leaving him with no place to go.

''She can do that?''

''Apparently, she can,'' answered the brunette. ''All it took was a few phone calls to certain people I guess. My family has connections.'' Onodera smiled cynically. ''I'm penniless to my name now.'' He might as well really be Oda Ritsu.

It was quiet for a moment.

''Why… why did you come back?'' asked Takano, truly harboring no hope or expectation at all. "After all that had happened, why didn't you just leave?'' And never come back.

Like in high school, when he'd laughed.

Quietly, Ritsu reminded him. ''I promised you, didn't I?''

_I won't run away like before._

''I did wanted to run from everything again,'' admitted the brunette, thinking about how felt afterward learning everything. After taking the lift down, Onodera wandered off to somewhere quiet, reflecting on Takano and everything else. '' It was horrible of you- wanting to take revenge on me after knowing how I thought you were playing with me , that it was a misunderstanding all these years.''

Takano lowered his head reproachingly. ''Then why did you came back ?'' To him.

Onodera had sat down and think. When the light hit on him, there was just one decision he had to make before he had went to meet his mother.

''Why?'' repeated Onodera. ''Because I trust you.'' Takano Masamune never half assed anything, and he wouldn't lie either. ''Because I believe in you.''

''Believe…in me?''

Onodera turned towards him. '' Some things can't be faked.''

He believed in it. He trusted it. In Takano's love. In his own feelings.

Haitani Shin was wrong.

''I thought there was something suspicious about what Haitani was trying to do anyways. Something was off about it.'' The sneaky motives, the nagging feeling he had. Onodera lowered his head. ''I'm sorry,'' he apologized. ''I should have listened to you and stayed away. I didn't know Haitani was such a low person,'' the editor said, blaming himself and realizing how dumb he was, getting strung by the editor. ''But I guess in some ways, it only confirmed some things.''

''Like what ?''

''Like what a terrible person haitani was,'' said the brunette. '' And how you do really love me.''

Onodera chuckled, making light of things. ''Besides, you've seen my apartment, and still said you want to live with me. I don't think anyone can lie about that.'' Solemnly, Onodera reaffirmed his statement. ''I chose to trust you.''

''Why are you so calm about this?'' asked Takano. Ritsu seemed to be taking this quite well–being thrown out of the apartment by his mom.

''Worse things can happen,'' said the brown haired male. ''I could be disowned, homeless, and quitting Marukawa shouten without ever wanting to see you again after being played by you, not to mention broke.'' said Ritsu, slightly shocking Takano as to how lightly he sounded listing the worst, like he was going down a grocery list.

Onodera had a place to stay, and his job. And most importantly, he had Takano. Even though he wasn't very sure that he was actually disowned, the brunette managed to smile a bit. ''I think this situation is alright,'' he decided. It could be a lot worst.

Onodera turned to face Takano, the corner of his mouth quirking up. ''You can't throw me out now.''

His lover hugged him, surrounding him in his arms. ''Ritsu.''

''I have nowhere to go now, you know,'' said the brown-haired male quietly, giving a small smile despite the situation.

Like all those years before, despite the dark intentions the raven had, Onodera Ritsu went back to him. Even after all that time, the brunette returned.

''The hell I would ever let you go,'' said Takano, tightening his hold on Onodera. Placing one hand on top of Ritsu's head, he ruffled the soft brown hair that belonged to his lover.

''What do you plan to do if you lose your job?'' asked Takano, discussing their plans.

''I could say the same thing for you,'' said Onodera.

''I doubt Isaka would fire me,'' said the editor-in-chief. He was too good at his job.

''I guess I have to figure something out then,'' said the editor, facing reality. ''For one thing, I don't think I can work in this industry again.''

''It's not that bad,'' said Takano.

Onodera turned his green eyes on him with a wide-eyed look. ''Takano-San, my mother froze my bank account, cancelled my phone line, and kicked me out of my own apartment,'' he said, spelling things out for him. ''She could make me jobless if she wanted to.''

''I don't think she would go as far as that,'' said the raven. Not matter what, Onodera was still the only son. ''By the way, how well connected is your family?''

''Well,'' drifted Ritsu, thinking of his dad. ''My father is friends with the CEO of some of the entertainment industry, and he even met some songwriters before- lyricists. He also knows some scriptwriters and producers. So the entertainment industry is out. Oh, and I think he was former classmates with the managing director of Jappun Times. He used to visit us sometimes when I was young.''

The raven's eyebrow knitted together.

Jappun Times?

One of the biggest news publishers in japan, which owned several broadcasting companies in the country?

''He used to come over and play chess with my Dad.''

Chess?

For the first time, Takano Masamune had come to recognize how wealthy and broadly connected the Onodera family was; how much influence Ritsu's family had. Ritsu really was a young master.

''But I doubt my mom would do anything to you,'' Ritsu went on, oblivious to Takano's state.

_Knock, knock, knock._

_Takano Masamune opened his door, coming face to face with Onodera's mother._

_''Are you Ritsu's lover?''_

_''Hai.''_

_Coming in uninvited, Mama Onodera sat at the dining table, having a discussion with Takano._

_''I'll be direct with you. How much money do you need to leave my son?''_

_''I don't want your money,''_

_Opening her thick suitcase, she revealed to Takano the amount of money she was willing to give. ''Would this be enough?''_

_''I don't want your money,'' repeated Takano, rejecting it. ''I really love Ritsu.''_

_''You think you can be with my son?''_

_''Hai.''_

_Infuriated, Mama Onodera tossed a wad of cash at the editor-in-chief, stunning him as the money scattered all over the place._

_''Do you want one million? Two million?'' she demanded. ''Or do you want to lose your job?''_

''On second thought, I take that back,'' said Ritsu quickly, having no guarantee that his mom wouldn't throw cash at the raven–or have him fired from his job. He anxiously knitted his eyebrows together, green eyes expressing worry as he went overboard with his daydream. ''I have no idea what she'll do.''

Onodera's thoughts were interrupted as his phone vibrated. Breaking his attention away, he looked at the caller's name and nervously swallowed.

''Dad?''

''Ritsu,'' his dad's voice went through. ''I heard about what happened from your mother.''

''Oh.'' Was this going to be another I'm-going-to–disown-you speech?

Onodera braced himself. He didn't know what to expect, but was prepared for the worst.

''Give her some time to cool down, Ritsu. It's a very big shock to her. I managed to unfreeze your personal bank account.''

''Oh,'' said the brunette. ''Okay.''

''But really…I think your mom overreacted this time round.''

''Dad...'' Onodera hesitated. ''Are you…upset with me too?''

''No, I'm not upset Ritsu.''

''. . . Why aren't you?''

''You're an adult now. I'm sure you know what you're doing, '' said Papa Onodera. '' I can't be looking after you all the time anymore.''

''I do.''

''You are serious about this right?''

''Hai.''

''Then it's fine.'' Papa Onodera said, and then sighed. ''You've really grown up, haven't you Ritsu? Taking your life into your own hands.''

''Dad…''

''I didn't expect this from you,'' said Papa Onodera, ''but I also didn't expect your mum to do all of this. Do you have anywhere to stay now?''

''I'm staying at my neighbour's place,'' said Onodera, blushing. ''He's….''

''That guy?'' Papa Onodera laughed. ''Don't let your mum find out. She'll kick the both of you out.''

''Hai.''

''Goodnight Ritsu, take care of yourself now.''

''Goodnight… Otou-San.'' Ritsu hung up, the giant weight on his shoulders having fallen significantly. Behind him, Takano came up to him and hugged him, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

''Your old man?''

''Uh-huh…''

''Did he say anything?''

''Nothing much...except he managed to unfreeze my bank account.'' Onodera held onto Takano's arm. Leaning in, the raven gave him another kiss on the cheek. At that moment, Takano's phone vibrated.

''Takano,'' Isaka was on the other line. ''I heard what happened from Onodera's father. Is everything alright on your end?''

''Hai,'' said Takano. ''Everything's fine.''

''Onodera is with you, right?''

''Hai.''

Isaka exhaled. ''I didn't expect Mrs. Onodera to be so extreme, but I guess since Ritsu is their only son…'' He sighed. ''You guys are going to go through a lot.''

''Hai.''

''Are you two prepared for this?'' asked Isaka. ''This is Onodera Publishing you're dealing with now-the parents.''

''I'm prepared to go through whatever it takes,'' said Takano.

''It's good to hear you say that Takano,'' said Isaka. ''Since you guys are going through a tough time, how's about I give you two a break?'' he suggested. Hearing this, Takano's eyes widened at the unexpected generosity. ''You haven't taken a day off before unless it's a sick day, so how does three days off for the both of you sound?''

''Isaka…'' Takano said.

''Don't say I don't take care of my employees,'' Isaka smiled over the phone. ''Have a break, you two. Go relax for a while.''

''Isaka,'' repeated Takano.

''Hmm?''

''Thank you.''

''Don't sweat it,'' said the man, hanging up.

''Onodera, Isaka–'' Takano turned, about to share the news when he stopped, seeing that Ritsu had fallen asleep on the couch, his eyes closed. It had been a long day. Walking over, the editor-in-chief bent down to the height where Ritsu was lying.

''I love you.''

_*Chu*_

* * *

The next morning, Onodera woke up slowly, blinking. Takano had moved him to the bed. Awake, the editor made his way out of the room.

''Onodera,'' said Takano, coming over. ''I talked to Isaka last night. He's not going to fire you-you can keep your job.''

''Really ?'' said Ritsu, breathing a sigh of weary relief.'' Thank God.''

''There's one more thing,'' continued Takano, ''Isaka gave us three days of leave.''

''Three days?'' said the brunette, surprised.

''Uh-huh.''

''Three days huh,'' said Onodera. '' I wonder what we should do...''

Turning his brown eyes on Ritsu, Takano hesitatingly gave his suggestion. ''Do you…want to go on a trip?''

Green eyes look back. ''To where?''

The black haired male thought for a moment. ''How about…Shikoku?''

_''Ah, I see…it sounds like a really nice place,''_

_''It is,'' said the raven. ''Maybe I could take you there someday.''_

''I said I would take you there before,'' said Takano.

Ritsu smiled at him.

* * *

Arriving at the airport of Kagawa prefecture in Shikoku, a giant welcome sign greeted them overhead.

Standing outside the exit, a blacked hair male stood, pulling a luggage with him. Beside him, his brown haired companion walked up to him. Looking at each other, the two men reached for each others hand, smiling.

.

.

.

**Hello everyone !**

**Firstly, sorry i took so long to get this out. Secondly, i wanna let you guys know I might be going on hiatus because I'm going to get even busier than i am now in the following weeks, and maybe months. So it's either that or very slow updates. Thought i should let you all know since you guys have being giving so much support for this story ! Once again, thank you very much ! 3 I'll do my best not to end up like the manga updates, lol.**


	40. Notice, please read

I've been experiencing the problem of the story not showing up on the front page when it's updated. Have emailed several times but have yet to receive a reply from them. I've removed the 3 chapters which I've updated since the structure might be confusing for the readers. I might combine all 3 of them in a chapter but until my emails get a reply, I'm not updating the story.


	41. The start of

**WALL OF TEXT *PLEASE READ***

**For those who are confused, I've previously posted the 3 shikouku chapters but took them done because I realized my fic wasn't showing up on the front page of the stories section. I thought there was a problem until deathday1313 pointed out i changed the rating to M and hence, that's why it didn't show up. I'm not sure if it's only me who's experiencing this but for those who didn't catch the 3 chapters I don't think i'm gonna upload them again soon. Ritsu's confession is in one of it but somehow I don't seem to care anymore. This chapter is when after Ritsu confessed and after their trip, when they come back to the city. I don't know but I'm getting bored of my own writing.  
**

* * *

Takano opened his eyes, waking up slowly. The spot next to him on the bed was empty, bed sheets crinkled from a particular brunette. Sounds were coming from the kitchen; metal being scraped and plastic hitting against it. The smell of something buttery was in the air too. Onodera must be in the kitchen.

It had been a few days since they got back from their vacation. After some unpacking, there were signs that someone else was living in the apartment. Ritsu's books were stacked up haphazardly on the top of Takano's shelves. His clothes took up half of the wardrobe. The rest of Ritsu's stuff was out, messy and scattered throughout his apartment.

Takano stood by the side of the door in his dark colored boxers, watching Onodera's attempts at cooking. Five different plates with five different failed attempts of sunny side up eggs were on the table. With a spatula in hand, Onodera slowly turned an egg over, successfully cooking the other side.

Victoriously, the brunette cheered at finally getting the sunny side up right. ''YOSHI!'

Surreptitiously, Takano smiled softly to himself, delighted at how adorable Onodera was being, then promptly rearranged his features.

''Are you sure it's edible?'' he asked, coming over to the kitchen area, sounding doubtful.

Red crept onto Ritsu's adorable cheeks. ''You can always not eat it, you know.''

''And let all these eggs go to waste?'' asked Takano, making Ritsu blush even more. ''Seriously, I don't even know which is worse–eating or not eating.''

''I'm still trying!'' defended Onodera. ''I can't possibly let you think I'll stay as a useless bum around here. I'll definitely get this right!'' Takano went and poured himself a cup of hot coffee. ''You shouldn't drink that on an empty stomach,'' Onodera told him after observing. ''It's not good for digestion.''

''Ah, is that so,'' replied Takano. He gave him a small grin, ruffling Ritsu's hair at the concern being shown towards him, and making the editor turn an even deeper shade of red. He'd heard Yokozawa nag at him a thousand times like an old grandma before because of the same issue but the editor in chief never listened. It was already a habit–his daily routine. Hearing it from Ritsu though, was different.

Because it was the person he loved talking to.

Maybe he would finally listen.

Takano went behind Ritsu, enveloping his hands with his own. ''You have to go up and down, like this.'' Takano expertly flipped the pan, demonstrating as he guided the brunette.

'''H-h-hai. . . ''

''Make sure the fire's not too strong. That's why all the eggs are burnt.'' With their arms entwined, Takano did a few more flips, letting his chin rest atop Ritsu's head. As the egg got closer to being finished, Takano tilted slightly, leaving a kiss on Ritsu's neck and making him jump.

''Are you listening?'' asked Takano strictly.

''H-hai,'' answered Ritsu, his palms sweaty.

Behind him, Takano smiled. He turned off the fire and spun his lover around. Caught off guard, Ritsu looked at him with his big green eyes. Leaning in, Takano kissed him.

_*chu*_

Today was a good day.

* * *

Marukawa Shouten's front door swung open.

Takano walked into the room, looking like he was leaving a path of sunshine in his path.

''Takano San,'' started one of the female employees at Marukawa, immediately turning to face the source of bright halo lights. ''You look really great today.''

The atmosphere around him was different–positive and bright. He was even smiling a little, for no apparent reason. The editor in chief usually looked good enough walking in everyday, but now that he was smiling, with the strong aura of happiness as a backdrop, he was a hundred times more attractive.

''Is that so?'' asked Takano.

''You're in a great mood too,'' stated another employee, not able to help fawning over the demon editor in chief, who's smile was unlike any he'd seen before. He was positively glowing.

''I guess I am,'' he said, the elevator closing behind him.

* * *

''Eh, Takano San looks like he's in a good mood today,'' commented Kisa when he saw his boss entering. The man looked like Isaka San had told him he could go into retirement early–fully paid.

''Hai Hai,'' agreed Mino.

''It seems like something good happened to you,'' commented Hatori. Kisa's eyes twinkled. Takano was carrying an air of sunshine with him, like a happy elf. Nosily, the Sapphire team paid close attention to the commotion happening opposite them.

''Is that so?'' Takano grabbed the nearest manuscript and pen. He dropped into his seat, biting off the cap with his mouth. ''Well, something good _did _happen,'' he admitted.

''Ehhhhhh?!'' exclaimed Kisa. He was surprised the editor in chief didn't bite his head off for asking the question. At Takano's response, the whole office stood at attention, sensing something.

''Did something happen with Ritsu?'' asked Kisa knowingly, growing bolder.

The editor in chief winked, hinting at a yes.

''EHHHHHHHHH!''

Immediately, the BL editors from Sapphire cheered loudly and swarmed over, crowding around team Emerald. Takano was driving the whole office crazy with curiosity.

''Did something really happen between you and Onodera Kun?''

''Was that why Isaka gave you three days off?''

''Did you two go somewhere?''

''What happened Takano?''

''TELL US!''

''TAKANO SAN!''

''GET BACK TO WORK!'' Takano ordered, raising his voice at those surrounding him and cutting them off. ''And Kisa, if you have enough time on your hands to mind someone else's business, why don't you hand in the manuscript on time?''

"Aww, Takano-San, you're no fun. Aren't you gonna tell us just a little bit?''

''Get back to work.''

''TAK-''

''NOW.''

Begrudgingly, everyone went back to work.

''He's still a hard ass,'' Kisa grumbled.

* * *

A cigarette was lit.

Takano was by himself in the smoking room when Yokozawa walked in.

''Ah Yokozawa,'' Takano greeted his friend in good spirits, taking a drag from his cigarette.

''Masamune.''

It was morning when the sales manager happened to overhear a group of female workers gossiping about how happy the editor in chief was acting. He couldn't help being nosy and checked up on his friend to see the situation for himself.

True enough, Takano was glowing.

''You look like you're in a good mood,'' commented Yokozawa, the third person to point that out to him.

Takano grinned as he offered his lighter to Yokozawa. ''I am.''

''Things finally settled between the two of you?'' asked his friend as he took a drag of smoke.

Takano gave a small nod, holding a cigarette in one hand with his arms folded. ''Uh-huh,'' he acknowledged. ''Things have finally settled.''

''Onodera made breakfast today,'' Takano told him. ''He still can't cook for shit, but he made five attempts at a sunny side up and finally got it right.''

''Five attempts?''

Yokozawa looked at him in mild disdain, partially at how bad Onodera's cooking was, but mostly at how ridiculously happy his friend looked. Masamune was smiling like a big idiot.

''How hard is it to get sunny side up right?''

''I told him to give up but he said he _will_ get it right,'' Takano smirked at the promise, at the thought of having eaten what Ritsu made for them in the morning.

The two quietly took slow drags of their cigarettes, white smoke rising and disappearing. Like always, the smoking room was rarely occupied. Most of the staff would rather take a breather outside the building. Maybe the sight of the two fiercest workers was too intimidating, maybe the idea of staying with them in a room was too scary, but anyone who was there never stayed long. Over time, it ended up being mostly used by the editor in chief and the sales staff at random intervals whenever they took a break at work together.

''I'm glad for you,'' said Yokozawa, looking at Takano, honestly happy and immensely relieved for his dearest friend. He'd never seen him so . . . happy. The guy was like one of those shoujo manga characters, giddy with love.

_Was I ever like that?_

If he ever was, Kirishima Zen would never let it go.

Yokozawa glanced at his friend again, putting his hand on one of his shoulders. The sales worker could finally be at ease for his friend now. He'd seen Masamune gone through too much pain. ''I really am Masamune.''

He'd seen all sorts of emotions portrayed from his friend; sadness, heartbreak, resignation, irritation, but nothing ever quite like this, this sort of sincere happiness. There was no disdain, no stress and no worry coming from the impassive face he'd known for ten years; just a quiet sense of content.

Takano looked back at him, at his friend of ten years who'd been there for him through his hardest times. ''Thank you,'' he accepted the congratulations sincerely. Things weren't perfect, but he had finally reached the point where he could honestly say he was happy with how things turned out.

''I guess I have to return the spare key,'' said Yokozawa. There was a new co-owner now, and to be very honest, he hadn't had a need for it ever since that fateful day he got his heart broken.

The editor in chief exhaled. ''I guess so.''

The two smoked quietly in contemplating silence, mulling over the events that had occurred. It was like old times again, when the two could casually chat during their smoking break together.

Takano inhaled a breath of smoke, and if Yokozawa wasn't mistaken, gave a small chuckle of amusement. ''His cooking skills really are the worst though.''

* * *

Onodera opened the door, using the spare key Takano had given him.

Stepping into his new home, he slipped off his shoes and put them to the side, next to another bigger pair.

Even though he'd been there a few times, and was technically now a co-resident, this was still Takano's place, and the brunette still hadn't gotten used to it yet.

Onodera put his bag on the table, taking the time to survey his surroundings.

_When did I ever have so much stuff?_

He scratched his head, taking in the sheer amount of boxes left to unpack.

_Where am I gonna put them?_

''I suppose I'll just wait till Takano's back to ask him,'' muttered the editor, not wanting to risk getting told off by the raven for messing up the place.

_Gor. … Gor_

Onodera's stomach rumbled.

_I'll take a shower first._

Once finished, a refreshed, Onodera walked into the living room at the same time that he heard the front door being unlocked.

''Okaeri'' said Onodera, greeting Takano when he saw him, while drying his head with a towel.

_Okaeri . . . ?_

_Welcome . . . home?_

Welcome home.

The editor in chief hadn't heard that for a very long time, if ever. His parents never bothered to greet him. He'd stopped saying ''Tadaimasu'' after entering college, when Sorata changed owners, as if it made any difference at all. Hearing it from Ritsu, to be welcomed back, was a new experience.

''Tadaimasu,'' muttered Takano under his breath. This was going to be a new habit for him.

''Ah Takano S-Takano, where do you think I should put all these things?''

''How should I know?'' answered the editor in chief. ''Just put them wherever you feel like putting them.'' This place was as good as his. ''You haven't eaten, right?'' asked Takano.

''Not yet,'' answered Onodera.

''I'll make dinner for us.''

* * *

At the small dining table, with dishes enough for two people, the two editors ate quietly. Onodera tried each dish using his chopsticks, chewing thoughtfully.

_Takano San really can cook . . ._

An array of Japanese small sides and main dishes was spread out on the table. The rice was fluffy, the salmon cooked to pink perfection, and the fragrant smell of miso soup was extremely appetizing. It was clean, healthy living.

''Let's have dinner everyday.''

Onodera raised his head. ''Eh?''

Casually, Takano picked up bits of salmon with his chopsticks. ''Let's have dinner everyday,'' he said with the same offhandedness he had with his food.

It was nice, sitting down at the table and having a meal together with Onodera. He wanted to do it every day.

''That's not possible,'' argued Onodera. ''We have different schedules. I can't just come home as I wish without finishing my work.''

Even if the editor _wanted_ to.

''Then just come home,'' Takano told him, making a promise. ''There will always be food for you. Even if I'm not around.''

_Takano San . . . really does _care_ for me a lot._

''T-thank you.'' Onodera blushed at how well he was looked after.

''There will always be food for you too.''

''Eh?'' Takano looked up over his meal, surprised at the words Onodera had mumbled.

''There will always be food for you too,'' said the brunette, proceeding to stuff his mouth with rice.

Monetarily, Takano's stunned expression gave away to a hint of a smile. The raven went back to his rice bowl.

''Energy drinks don't count as food.''

''I know!''

* * *

''Takano San ….''

''Hm?'' Now in the bedroom, Takano was shifting some of his clothes aside, making space for more of Onodera's item. The brunette was unpacking the rest of his clothes that had still been in boxes.

Slowly, the brunette blushed. ''T-thank you for letting stay with you . . . '' said Onodera, the blood circulating to his cheeks faster than the rest of his body. He hadn't properly thanked Takano yet for allowing him to live in his apartment.

Takano pushed Onodera back with a finger to the forehead.

''Baka,'' said Takano, scowling as Onodera recovered. _Didn't the brunette get it?_ ''What are you thanking me for? ''

''No matter what, I think I am imposing on you, even if it's just a little,'' said Onodera. ''So it's only right that I say my thanks.''

''You idiot,'' repeated Takano. ''You're not imposing on me at all.''

* * *

Slowly, Onodera crawled into bed. On the other half of the mattress, lay the dark haired editor in chief, shirtless.

_Even though we've already done more than this . . . it's still…_

''Um, Takano … San'' started Onodera.

'''Huh?''

''Could you move over please?''

_REALLY AWKWARD._

Takano shifted closer to the edge of the bed, making space for Onodera.

''Could you move a bit more to your side again?'' requested the brunette. ''It's a bit of a squeeze here.''

''Move over?'' echoed the editor in chief, nearly falling off. ''I hardly have space for myself.''

''Then I suppose it's fine,'' mumbled Onodera, getting under the covers.

_Why is my heart beating so fast?_

''I can hear your thoughts from here.''

''Eh?''

'''Why is it so awkward even though we've already slept together.'''

''I wasn't thinking about that!''

''Your thoughts are pretty loud, you know.''

''Are you sure you're not the one thinking all that?!''

''I'm not.''

''Then neither was I!''

''Uh-huh.''

A few minutes of silence.

''Stop pulling the cover.''

''I'm not!''

''You are.''

''I'll just sleep on the couch then!'' huffed Onodera. The editor jumped out of the bed angrily, taking nothing with him as he rushed to the living room.

''Onodera!'' Takano called out after him, cursing under his breath as he shoved the covers away, getting out too.

''Onodera,'' called the editor in chief, standing behind the couch where said person was already lying. ''Come on.''

Onodera didn't budge.

''Come on,'' Takano told him. ''I'll sleep on the couch instead.''

''That's not necessary.''

''Quit being so stubborn!'' Takano pulled Onodera up from the couch, directing him back to the bedroom. ''I'll sleep here instead.''

''Oh . . .'' Onodera drifted. ''Okay. . . ''

Going back to bed, the brunette pushed away the covers. Lying still, he turned to his side, and then tossed to the other. A few minutes later, Onodera walked out.

''Takano San.'' Ritsu's quiet voice travelled across the small area. The brunette was at the door of the bedroom, awake and standing. ''Please come here,'' he requested. Onodera couldn't go to sleep with the weight of guilt on his mind. ''I'm sorry about what happened earlier.''

''I'm fine here.''

''I didn't mean to make such a fuss about it," apologised Onodera. ''It's not good to sleep on the couch.''

Takano didn't budge.

''Takano San.''

Takano glanced back at him at his insistence, noticing the way his green eyes looked at him in the dark, noticing the sound of his voice. ''Please come back in.''

* * *

"Is it squeeze?'' asked Ritsu.

''It is,'' said Takano, putting one arm around Onodera's waist and another around his shoulders, tucking him in close. ''But nothing else will do.''

Due to the heat of the raven and the close proximity that came from sharing the bed with him, Onodera couldn't help his blushing.

''You know, I really thought you were going to let me sleep on the couch,'' said Takano.

''I wasn't going to do that,'' rebutted Onodera. ''I'm not that heartless.''

_Badump . . . BADUMP . . . Badump_

Takano gazed at him.

_Badump . . . BADUMP . . . Badump_

Onodera hugged him harder

_Badump . . . BADUMP . . . Badump_

The raven placed his lips on Onodera's forehead, pressing them together into a kiss.

_Badump . . . BADUMP . . . Badump_

Ritsu grabbed the cover tight, closing his eyes as Takano lay soft kisses all over his features.

_BADUMP . . . BADUMP . . . BADUMP_

Takano leaned closer.

…

* * *

Sloppy, wet kisses charged at Onodera as Takano repeatedly joined their bodies together, again and again. Ritsu's lips were so soft, so incredibly soft.

''...Urgh ...''

Once his lips were free, Ritsu moaned softly, arching his back with pleasure as Takano thrust into him.

''Ah!"

''Takan–hmph!'' Onodera's moans got cut off half way as Takano leaned down and kissed him once more. Slowly, he moved their interlaced fingers to an angle in which he could cup the side of Ritsu's cheeks, doting him with small pecks.

There were times when Takano wondered if he truly did get over his first love.

''. . .Takano . . .''

Beads of sweat gathered from the heat of their bodies.

''Mmgh…AH!''

He believed he'd moved on, but after all those years, why was it that his junior still reappeared in his thoughts whenever he was with someone else? He was the phantom of his first love which stubbornly refuse to die.

''Ritsu,'' Takano called breathlessly. ''I love you.''

He didn't think about him outright, yet he couldn't forget, no matter who he was with.

But it didn't matter, no amount of thinking could change what was in the past.

A shy voice spoke. ''I love you too.''

It didn't matter.

.

.

.

Onodera Ritsu had finally returned to him.


	42. Domestic life

Opening his eyes, Onodera Ritsu groggily gets up from the bed. The early morning of a new day greeted him. Dressed in pyjamas, the editor proceeds to get up from the bed, the other half occupied by Takano.

Onodera took few steps, heading for the bathroom the same time Takano got up and headed for the same direction. Pausing in their track, they waited for each other to make the move first.

" You can go ahead," Onodera told him in sleepy voice, his brown hair curled up forming his bed head.

Takano looked at him. "You sure?"

Onodera nodded, bleared eye. " Please go ahead." He yawaned. The brunette could wait to use the bathroom afterwards.

''If you say so.''

As soon as the words left his mouth,Takano grabbed Onodera forward, pulling his face into his.

"Mmmmhhhhhh !"

" Fwuah, Fwuah"

Takano angled to the side and part his lips even wider with Ritsu's, slipping his tongue in. In a futile effort to protest, the brunette tried to push the editor in chief off.

"Mmmmmm-MMM!"

"Fwuah - fwuah"

Shoving the raven , Onodera demanded hotly, " WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?!"

"You said I could go ahead," said Takano, unapologetic of his actions.

" I meant the bathroom !" exclaimed Onodera shrilly, two red spots appearing on his cheeks . " Not that !" They haven't even brush their teeth yet ! " Why are doing that in the morning !"

"Isn't it obvious?" Stated Takano, now heading for the bathroom . Closing the door, he turned at the brunette. "I'm giving a morning kiss." With that, he shuts the door.

Furiously, Onodera bangs the door.

_Bang bang bang bang_

"Takano San! "

_Bang bang bang bang_

Nonchantly, Takano spread the toothpaste on his toothbrush and starts brushing, staring collectively at his reflection.

''TAKANO SAN !''

**(BREAK)**

_That guy . . ._

The brown haired editor fumed to himself as he walked into Maroukawa building.

_Does he know no shame?_

Sulking over what happened in the morning, his train of thought's were interrupted by a loud voice.

''RICCHAN!''

From behind, his ex co-worker Kisa ran up next to him. '' Long time no see !''

''Good morning Kisa San,''

''Neh neh,'' the older worker gave him sly eyes. '' Did things finally happened between you and Takano San ? ''

''What –what do you mean ?''

''I know it !'' exclaimed Kisa cheerfully at the sight of Ondoera blushing. He swung an arm over the brunette's shoulders. '' Something did happen between you! No wonder he was so happy when he came in the other day. I thought Isaka told him he could have retired early. . . ''

Launching into gossip mode, Kisa went on about what went on the other day as Onodera got lost in his thoughts.

''And Sapphire wanted to grill him for details afterwards but Takano didn't . . . ''

_Takano San's . . . happy._

'' But this was totally the first time we seen him so glowing. . . '' Kisa continued rambling.

''That's nice,'' said the brunette simply.

''So,'' Kisa leaned in, voice dropping to a whisper as he smirked.'' Was it good ?''

Watching his junior's blush turn into a full blown explosion of redness, Kisa snickered loudly. ''EH RICCHAN !''

**(BREAK)**

Going through some paper, Onodera desk phone rang. Picking the call, the editor placed the receiver to his ear.

''Hai, this is Onodera Ritsu.''

"Onodera," the voice at the other end startled him. It was Yokozawa " When is your break ?"

" In half an hour's time," Onodera told him, '' Is anything the matter ?'' he asked in concern.

"I have some stuff to pass to you," he said. "Meet me at the tea break room,"

_What does Yokozawa San have ?_

Steeling himself, Yokozawa approached the tea room. He wanted to meet with the privacy. It was a bit of an embarrassment, giving cooking tips to someone like an old aunt.

_I still can't believe I'm doing this_

The man was giving cooking tips, handwritten notes on some dishes. Trying to not let his emotions show, the sales staff couldn't help griming at what he was doing. Thinking of Onodera's reaction only added fuel .

_He probably look at me with those big eyes of his. _

"Yokozawa San," Onodera walked in. "What is it that you want to give me ?" Dropping some white pieces of of papers on his marvel - notes.

"I heard from Takano what an awful chief you are, that you can't even get sunny side up eggs right." said Yokohama disapprovingly. "These are some notes on the basics. It should easy even for a newbie like you. " Yokozawa himself personally wrote them to make it simple and straightforward.

"Oh," said the brunette, his emerald eyes widening with surprise as he took in the notes.

_Did Yokohama San just gave me cooking tips?_

"Hatori is also a very good cook," said the older staff. "He probably knows more than I do; you could ask him for tips."

Does everyone around him know how to cook?

"Thank you very much," said Onodera, honestly surprised by this unexpected helpfulness. The brunette read through the notes – they were detailed even though they sounded relatively simple. Flipping through them briefly, the editor came to realize something.

_Yokzoawa San probably cooked for him before, or maybe prepare some meals for him, back when Takano had his breakdown in college._

'' It's nothing difficult, all something easy,'' said the wild bear of Marouka shouten, conscious about Onodera reading what his cooking instructions . '' I'm sure the both of you would find it enjoyable.'' When Yokozawa had written the notes, his goal was to teach the brunette something simple but enjoyable. It was only when he reviewed them then he realised had unconsciously came up with dishes towards Takano's taste buds. '' Don't go around telling everyone about this, Onodera.'' He warmed. The picture with the apron was damage enough.

''Hai,'' agreed the brunette. He had enough teasing from sapphire.

Awkwardly, the two shifted their weight.

Something small and shiny appeared next to Onodera, on the counter top.

" This is the spare key to Masamune's house,'' Yokozawa told him, passing it to him now. The atmosphere shifted, turning into something bittersweet between the two of them, like first love. '' You can have it now.''

''Did Takano San asked for it back?''

''No,'' said Yokozawa. ''But I don't think I need it anymore."

The monumental meaning behind it, was clear to them even thought it was not spoken. Yokozawa had the key for a long time, way back in college when it was a dorm key instead.

'' I will pass to Takano San,'' said the brown haired editor, his mind swirling with everything that was going on. Onodera already has his own key to the apartment, but this was something else - this was Yokozawa passing the responsibility and role of looking after the raven to him now.

In some ways, it was somewhat hard for Yokozawa to do this, but not anyways unwilling or reluctant. He already met his own fate – in the form of an editor and his young daughter. For so long, the dark haired male had already acted as the role of protector and friend to the raven, that giving Onodera the key felt like a mother sending her daughter off – for good.

Yokozawa studied him. Why did the brunette always have the look of naive surprise on him?

''You're still calling him that ?'' the dark haired staff asked, folding his arms., leaning against the counter top.

''I- I'm used to calling him that,'' said Onodera, explained himself. '' But I'm trying to change my habit.'' Even though it was a bit odd for him to address Takano without the honorifics. '' Besides, we're at work now.''

"Read through the notes and make sure you know what to do before starting,'' said Yokozawa, knowing how dangerous it could be for an accident to happen in the kitchen. ''If you manage to screw simple things like this up, I don't know what else to say."

''Hai,'' said Onodera, saying his thanks once more. '' Thank you for the passing these to me.''

''Onodera,''

''Hai ?''

''Don't disappoint me.''

Onodera met his gaze evenly. ''' I won't.''

Yokozawa unfolded his arms, standing straight, he turned on his heels, heading out. Then he stopped.

"Masamune," said the older male, '' he really doesn't like squid."

**(BREAK)**

''I'm still cleaning up,''

'' Take your time,'' Takano told him, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. Truth to be told, the editor in chief kinda didn't compleltey dislike the mess – the presences of someone else - the presence of Onodera.

''Ah Takano San,'' Onodera suddenly remembered, '' the fridge's running out of eggs soon, and I think we have to get some more stuff.'' The brunette went on, looking up '' And –''

Takano looked at him like he was going to eat him up.

'' Don't you have a fan or something,'' Onodera looked around distractedly, already knowing what the look meant. '' Why is so warm in here ? '' he questioned, looking around frantically. It was the middle of summer. The days were getting hotter and hotter.

'' Onodera,''

'' It's REALLY warm here,'' said the brunette, trying to get away from the weight of his stare.

The days were really getting hotter and hotter.

'' What is it ?'' asked Onodera nervously as Takano moved closer. ''What ?'' Striding towards him, Takano went right up to him. Putting his hands into Ritsu's hair, Takano ran his hands through his hair, ruffling it.

''I'll make dinner.''

**BREAK**

Droplets of sweat streamed down by the side of his face, pooling at his chin. Panting, Tkano's eyes stayed glued on Ritsu, watching his every small movement he makes. Ritsu squirmed, eyes alternating between squeezing shut and barely open lidded eyes. The sweltering weather of summer forcing them to leave nothing in between in them, not even the sheets.

He wasn't sure how they ended up like this again. One moment he was doing nothing and kissing the raven at the next.

Their fingers laced together, Takano relish the feeling of joining with Ritsu, of bonding. How he could feel Ritsu under him like that - to loud shouts and soft moans.

''Ah. . .''

Ritsu was loud. Very loud.

The brunette grabs onto his lover's shoulders as the raven based into him repeatedly.

''AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! ''

As Onodera closed his eyes, letting out a struggle of a moan, Takano closed his mouth over his, kissing him vehemently.

Fwuah*Chu*Chu*Smack*

''Hah. . . Fwuah …''

Adding on speed, the two almost reach the end of the course.

''RITSU''

A soft call of ''Masamune'' followed after. Reaching the end of their climax, Takano falls onto his lover.

**BREAK**

Onodera stared at him in the darkness, listening to him. Takano was asleep, snoring lightly. The editor in chief had fallen sleep right immediately.

He was still a really shy lover.

How he was engulf in the musky, masculine scent.

Onodera wouldn't admit it before, but Takano scent was really comforting at times. The musky, masculine scent that couldn't be find anywhere- or anyone else. The strange mix of that makes the editor in chief - Takano. At this, the editor unknowingly blushed.

_To think of it, I was attracted to his scent long ago._

How he jumped into his bed so long go in high school.

Long and light snores rose from the black haired male, deep in slumber. Shifting slowly, Takano adjust himself until he was spooning Ritsu. Onodera was surrounded by his scent, like he was being wrapped around by extensions of him. In the stillness of the night, with the sound of the raven's snore, the brown haired male closed his eyes, warm and security around him.

He has accepted things as they are. No more fighting, no more running.

Just acceptance.


	43. Day by Day

It was night time.

Onodera Ritsu was in the bedroom of their shared apartment, tidying out his pile of clothes.

''Tadaiimas'' called a voice as the person entered the living room. Takano just came back from work.

''Okaerinasai'' Onodera called from the door just as Takano entered. The editor in chief looked beat. It was moving into the hectic busy period for the editing division of Team Emerald.

''_He looks so tired_,'' thought the brunette.

''Takano San,'' started Onodera, sounding like he wanted to ask for something.

'' Forget it,'' Takano declared loudly as he flopped down unceremoniously on the other side of the mattress. He wasn't in the mood for anything but sleep now. ''I'm too tired today. We're do it another day.''

'' I'm not referring about that! '' The brunette exclaimed loudly at Takano's absurd assumption.

_I wasn't even thinking of that!_

'' I just wanted to ask if you're coming back late tomorrow! '' Onodera told him, clearing up any ideas Takano had ''Who said anything about that ?! ''

''I'll be late,'' Takano told him.

* * *

''Takano San,''

''Hmm ?'' Takano responded.

'' How was last night's dinner?'' asked Ritsu quietly. The brunette personally made curry rice again, but with an improved recipe.

''It was fine,'' Takano told him.

'' Were you planning to make curry rice again?'' asked Takano, his craving for it hidden from Onodera.

'' Something else,'' answered his housemate. '' I wanted to try something new tomorrow.''

Takano turned to Onodera side, coming up from behind him.

'' What are you doing?'' Ritsu asked softly as he felt Takano's arms around him tightly. The seasons were changing again- moving into the chilly weather of autumn. It was getting comfortable to snuggle in bed. The editor in chief started leaving kisses on him.

'' What else?'' said the black haired male. '' I want to love you.''

''Didn't you say you were too tired?'' asked the brunette as Takano turned him upwards, so they were facing each other.

''I was,'' he whispered.

He kissed Ritsu's forehead, proceeding to undo the first button of Ritsu's midnight blue pyjamas. '' But I'm not tired anymore. . . ''

* * *

Takano kissed Ritsu. Separating, he trails his nose down the centre of his chest, stopping just short of the band. Pulling down his pants, Takano took down the brunette's underwear as well. A small of hitch of a breath came up from the brunette as his lover slid his tongue down his length.

Bending his legs at an angle, Ritsu moaned softly as Takano enclose his mouth around him, beginning to suck.

''_Ahhhh. . . .''_

Grabbing Ritsu thighs, the black haired editor slides his hands down to his butt cheeks, giving a hard squeeze. Quickly, he moves his mouth up and down, sucking on Ritsu's head .

''_AHHHHHH. . . ''_

Thick liquid burst into the raven's warm mouth. Swallowing, Takano wipes the remaining on his lips with his thumb, licking it off.

''Ritsu,''

Automatically, as his lover climbs over him, Onodera crosses are ankles around him. Without missing a beat, Takano gets on top, his lower half caught in between the brunette's legs. Ritsu heaved heavily, warm small breathes coming in and out of him.

'' Masamume . . .''

Onodera has always loved him – but has never allowed himself to love the man before him after meeting again 10 years later. Never allowed himself to feel – to accept – to love. And now, he's finally allowing himself to feel again. To love. As Takano gazes from above him, Onodera extends a hand slowly out to his partner's face, gently caressing a sharp cheek.

''Masamune…'' he whispered, meeting his lover's gaze evenly and softly.

''Ritsu…''

Takano has always wanted this – to be love – to be held, by no one else but this brunette before him. He has always longed for this connection after falling in love with him, even before he realized he had fallen in love with him, what they never had as teenagers. For what it seems like forever, Takano's chase has come to end end.

As he lifted Ritsu hips towards his, Takano closes his mouth around the brunette's, kissing him deeply. Spreading Ritsu's hands open, the editor in chief laces their hands together while he entered him.

Onodera closed his hand tightly as his lover delivered another hard thrust into him. Coming up for air, Takano gazes at the sight before him. His lover's green eyes squeezed shut, bright red to the tip of his ear and neck, soft brown hair wet with sweat.

He was going to devour him.

* * *

The next day, the literature office was in a mess. Some staff were running around with commotion everywhere.

''What's_ going on ?'' _Onodera wondered. The lit office was rarely this hectic as Emerald._  
_

ce.

'' Onodera Kun,'' one of the employers of a higher position, Hatsumi, came walking up to him, a bunch of papers in hand.'' Do you know who was on sending the manuscripts to the printer's that day ?'' he demanded. ''There had been a screw up at the printers. And now no one is willing to give me answer as to who fucked up.''

''I don't know,'' answered Onodera honestly. Everyone seem to be busy either scrambling to the printers or picking up phone calls.

'' Then do you know where's Asumi ?''

''I don't know.''

''Damn,'' Hatsumi cursed. Why can't anyone give him a damn answer. Everyone's been giving him the same thing, and some of them are late for work.'' WHY CAN'T YOU PEOPLE JUST DO YOUR JOB RIGHT ?! ''

Onodera's expression turned.

* * *

Making a short trip to the vending machine to grab a drink, Takano Masamune ran into Onodera, who nearly walked passed him until the editor in chief grabbed his arm.

''Onodera,''

''Oh,'' the brunette snapped out of his thoughts, brought back to his senses. Onodera turned his eyes downwards, obviously not in a pleasant mood.

'' Is something wrong ?'' asked Takano.

'' Nothing,'' said Onodera, knowing well how much Takano hates it when people complain.

From the way he said it, it was obvious to Takano Onodera was lying- something was wrong.

''You're a terrible liar,'' said the editor in chief. Did the brunette honestly think he could get that past him ? ''

''What else do you want me to say?'' questioned Onodera, slightly offended from the irritation and tiredness. ''I-''

Halfway, Onodera's words stopped. Takano was hugging him.

''What-what are you doing ?''he asked. They were in the middle of work – someone might see them

''It's fine,'' said Takano. There in the middle of an empty hallway. '' No one's here now.''

''But-''

''You can hug me,'' said Takano. '' It's okay. We're only doing this for a short while.''

Upon hearing that, Onodera relaxed, putting his arms around the raven too.

Onodera tighten his arms around him, resting his cheek into his chest. With their arms around each other, they stayed like that.

Just then, out of nowhere, Isaka, Krishima and Kisa came out in a trio, giving them teasing smiles as they go past them- only seen by Takano. The editor in chief tried to glare at them, but his glare lacked bite. Softly, Takano ended up smiling as well.

.

.

.

* * *

On another day, when the two of them we at home, with time, they were at home relaxing.**  
**

Onodera entered the door, walking into one of the rooms.

''Are you doing laundry?'' he asked.

'' Hai,'' said the editor in chief, throwing some clothes and bedsheet in. With the amount of sweat they give, the bedsheets have to be washed a lot more frequently now. '' Do you have any clothes left to wash? ''

''Ohh !'' Onodera remembered - he had some shirts. ''That's right.'' He went off to get them.

As Onodera left go get his clothes, Takano stripped his shirt and dump it into the washing machine, along with the rest of what he was wearing.

Carrying a few clothes, Onodera came back, unprepared for the scene before him.

'' Taka-AHHHHHH''. Promptly dropping his clothes, Onodera covered his eyes at the sight in front him – the raven was wearing nothing at all.

''WH-wh-what are you doing ?! '' demanded Onodera, shielding his eyes.

''What do you mean what am I doing ?'' questioned Takano. ''I'm washing my clothes,'' answered the editor in chief in a loud and annoyed tone. What else could he possibly be doing?

'' Why are you not wearing anything ?!''

''Huh ?'' Takano voiced. '' When you do laundry, you wash everything of course,'' said Takano. This was his house. He could always go get dress in another attire again later. '' Pass me your clothes?''

''It's- it's okay,'' said Onodera, awkwardly standing there. '' I can wash it another day.''

'' You really are strange,'' said the raven as he started the washing machine. What was Onodera freaking out for? Did he grow an extra tentacle or something? '' You've seen me naked more than anyone else when we're already done it so many times. ''

''I-I'm-I'm not used to t-thhis'' Onodera stammered, still covering his eyes. He was still shell shock. The stark image of the raven completely naked doing laundry now pressed into his brain. Refusing to let go, Onodera pressed his hands harder as Takano walked up to him, not satisfied with his answer.

''What ? Are you saying we're not doing it enough? ''

''I don't mean that !'' Onodera hurriedly corrected him, knowing he was infront of him when his voice was louder, and just ahead of him. ''I'll- I'll go do the laundry- I mean work!'' Not watching where he was going, Onodera turned and ran into the wall. Still afraid to unshielded himself, he tried again and rushed out.

''Onodera….'' muttered Takano, shaking his head. He seriously didn't get him.'' You really are. . . ''

* * *

On a quiet Sunday morning down the week, Takano and Onodera were on the couch doing their respective reading.

'' Do you have any plans later?''

''Not really,'' answered Onodera. '' I have a bit of work left. But since I rarely have free time to myself, I wanted to catch up on reading.''

The brunette got up, barely took a step when he was yanked by down, landing on Takano's thigh.

''What is it ?'' asked Onodera, flustered to be suddenly pulled by Takano, trying to get back on his feet.

''Just let me hold you for a little while,'' said Takano. '' For a while.'' With Ritsu in his lap, Takano held him, closing his eyes as he embraced his lover. Onodera smelled wonderful- light like sunlight and clean air. It was wonderful – to be able to hold him like this.

''This is nice,'' muttered the dark haired editor in chief, snuggling into Ritsu, honestly content.

Holding on for balance, Onodera placed his arms around Takano's neck , letting him do what he want. Takano placed his head on Onodera' head.

He had always wanted to have Ritsu in his lap.

The room was lit up by natural sunlight, largely entering the room.

It was a great Sunday morning. Just the two of them together- no work, no distractions, no stress.

Sensing a movement, Takano opened his eyes. Ritsu had moved in closer, looking into his eyes now.

''What ?'' said Takano softly, rarely seeing Onodera facing him straight on like this, but now more often than ever. He leaned in and gently bumped their nose together.

''I love you,'' the brown haired editor told him, saying it outside the bedroom. Closing his eyes, Onodera leaned and kissed Takano, sharing this moment together.


	44. Grocery shopping with the loved ones

The door of the apartment unlocked, signaling someone had arrived home. At the dining table, Onodera was proofreading some drafts when the hurried jiggling of the key was heard, followed by a loud ''clack'' of the door being unlocked. Takano was home.

''Tad-'' the editor barely got the first syllable out before he was grabbed by his shoulders and pulled roughly to his feet.

Takano collided their lips together. It'd been three days since he'd come home, seven if he counted the days he hadn't seen Ritsu at all.

***Muaks* *Chu* *Fwuh***

Takano held onto the back of Ritsu's head, tilting it at a better angle, giving him bigger and wetter kisses.

Opportunistically, as Onodera took a moment to gasp for air, Takano proceeded to immediately drag him off to the bedroom. Without taking a moment to rest, or even giving Ritsu a chance to respond, Takano shoved him down onto the bed, leaning over his body as he continued kissing his brunette hard and viciously.

Gradually, Onodera's protests died out as he received Takano's kisses, his hands moving to pull him closer. Takano's own were moving to quickly remove the fabric separating their bodies, eventually fitting himself in between Ritsu's legs, accommodating himself into to the valley of space like it was meant for him.

God, he'd missed him.

* * *

Yokozawa walked down the hallway of the business floor. He reached out for his necktie, loosening it slightly by tugging it around, but stopping when he was reminded of the professional image he should have.

_I'll go have a quick smoke. It's lunch break now anyway._

He walked in casually, spotting a very familiar figure.

''Oh, Masamune.'' Things were back to normal between them, no longer awkward. As typical of them, they both were holding a cigarette in hand.

''How are things, going for you?'' asked the staff.

''We just past death period,'' said Takano, blowing out a plume of smoke. ''Everyone's been breaking their neck.''

''Ah I see,'' he said. Recently the business department had acquired a few new projects at the same time. They were breaking their backs over them.

''Yokozawa,'' begin Takano, ''do you know where I can find some Natto ?''

_Natto?_

''What do you need it for?'' asked the sales staff, frowning at his odd question in the middle of work.

''To make dinner, of course.'' Takano told him in annoyance. ''What else?''

_Since when did Masamune eat fermented soybeans?_

''I thought you hated them,'' said Yokozawa, seriously surprised. This was the first time he'd heard Masamune bring up said food.

''Can't help it,'' Takano remarked in resignation, tapping his cigarette. ''Onodera loves it.''

_What the…_

''You're getting soybeans for Onodera?'' questioned Yokozawa incredulously. For the sake of the brunette, the hard ass raven was actually willing to eat something he disliked.

''Uh huh,'' answered Takano. ''He's always sprinkling some on whatever he eats; rice, soup, everything. I have to eat that whenever he cooks. The other day, he emptied out what was left of it.''

''Why didn't you just tell him you don't like it?'' asked Yokozawa.

''Onodera loves it,'' said Takano simple, needing nothing else. He recalled the subtle joy Onodera had when eating those beans.

_Good lord_, Yokozawa thought to himself, unknowingly knitting his brows. _Masamune's whipped_, he thought. Whipped as cream.

''I'm sure the usual super market has it,'' said Yokozawa. ''But if you want it fresh, you'll have to go to the specialty market.''

''Specialty market, huh,'' Takano muttered. ''I better go.''

He stubbed out his cigarette, finished with his smoking break. ''Onodera's gonna scream my ears off if he finds out.''

* * *

''Takano San!'' Onodera called out to him. ''Are you done yet?'' he questioned, waiting impatiently for his partner to finish dressing.

''I'm done,'' Takano told him, proceeding to sit down and put on his shoes at the genkan while Ritsu stood and waited. ''Just how long are you going to keep calling me Takano San?''

''I like calling you that,'' Onodera huffed loudly, turning red from embarrassment. He wasn't used to calling him by his first name as casually as that…yet.

They were going grocery shopping today, having had to drag themselves out of bed in order to do it, fussing that if they didn't stop by the market as planned, they wouldn't be going at all.

* * *

The two editors shared a grocery cart between them, standing in front of a long aisle at the rather large supermarket.

''Should we start with the necessities first?'' asked Onodera.

Instead of answering, Takano inspected a white piece of paper in his hand. ''You've even prepared a list?''

''Hai, I did,'' answered Onodera. Seeing Takano release a strange smile, he turned defensively and frowned. ''What?''

_What was he going to say now?_

''Nothing,'' answered Takano, hiding his real reason. He was just pleased to see Onodera had prepared a neat list of things they had to get. For them. With their schedule and workload, who knew when else they had time to do this again. ''It's nice to see you being so organized now.''

Onodera gave him a look, and quickly turned his attention back to the list.

''Eggs, rice, salt …'' Onodera ran down the long list he had prepared in his hands. ''We have a really long list of items.''

''That many?'' asked Takano, not expecting it.

''Hai!'' replied Onodera, looking up with a determined glint, ready to start their grocery shopping. '' Let's go!''

They went up and down the aisles, going through the items one by one, as Onodera checked them off and let Takano put whatever they needed into the cart.

''What's the difference between this and this?'' asked Onodera, holding up two separate types of toilet paper.

''This one's on discount,'' said Takano.

* * *

Over time, they had a fraction of the cart with their listed items. They went around the aisles, eventually stopping at a particular brand under the laundry care section.

The brunette picked up a bottle.

''Onodera, what are you getting?'' asked Takano.

''Fabric softener,'' answered the smaller male, putting it into the cart.

''Why are you getting that one?''

''It smells nice.''

Annoyed by the meaningless point, Takano placed the bottle back and grabbed a different one.

''What are you doing?''

''Let's just get the usual brand,'' Takano told him, seeing no reason in getting a fabric softener. He'd lived all his life without it.

Onodera took the bottle again. ''I like this one.'' He picked up the one Takano had taken and replaced it with his choice instead.

''Let's just get this one.'' Again, Takano took his down, brought Onodera's back up.

''But I want to get this one,'' said Onodera, doing the same.

''Why can't we just get the usual brand?'' asked Takano, quickly growing annoyed by Onodera's behaviour.

''Because this one smells nicer,'' explained the brunette. ''Yours doesn't have a scent.''

''That's it?'' Takano, scoffed, grabbing the brunette's bottle and placing it back on the shelf, before again grabbing his. ''This one's fine.''

Onodera put his hand down on the handle. ''Look,'' he began, stopping the black haired male and trying to reason with him, ''we're sharing things together. We're washing our clothes together.''

''And?''

''Don't you think you should be more considerate towards the other person in the house?''

''It's my apartment,'' said Takano. ''What else do I have to consider?'' He started to push the cart.

''Takano San,'' he said, pursing his lips the way he did when he was trying to hold back his anger. The brunette blinked his green eyes, annoyed. '' I'm staying at your house. I'm sharing the living space with you.''

"What the hell are you trying to say?'' asked Takano, equally annoyed. Onodera was just repeating things he already knew, what was he trying to go on about?

''I DON'T LIKE THE SMELL OF SWEAT ON THE BEDSHEETS!'' shouted the brunette loudly.

Around them, the shoppers stopped.

_Oh crap._

Deeply embarrassed, Onodera felt a big surge of heat come rushing to his cheeks as the bystanders around them stared, and he came to the realization of what he'd just said out loud.

''Oh,'' said Takano, smiling smugly at Ritsu's announcement to the world. They'd been spending a lot of time in bed together. Bending down, he switched the detergent. ''Why didn't you say so earlier?''

''I'll go get the eggs,'' mumbled Onodera, turning redder than an erupting volcano.

* * *

_Stupid Takano_

The brunette got away, still flushed over his outburst.

_If only he had just listened to me and gotten the detergent._

Onodera grabbed the eggs, pausing as he saw a stand of pears at the fruits aisle.

_They look really nice,_ thought the brown haired male as he inspected them. They were big and fleshy, fresh. Maybe he should get Takano to look at them

_He might like them_

Onodera grabbed the box of eggs he'd come for and started to make his way back when he heard his name.

''Onodera Kun.''

The brunette stopped. It was a familiar voice. Turning around, he met face to face with Haitani Shin.

''Long time no see,'' said Haitani, pushing a cart filled with his own grocery. He smiled at Onodera.

Coldly, the brown haired male gave a curt greeting. ''Hello Haitani San.''

''Doing grocery shopping, huh?'' asked Haitani casually, seeing that Onodera was carrying the fruit and eggs.

''How are you doing?'' he continued, as if that day at their apartment building hadn't actually happened.

Wanting nothing to do with him, Onodera stood silently, his expression clearly showing that this meeting was over. Haitani glanced over the direction the editor was facing, spotting Takano. ''Still with Takano I see.''

Without another word, the brown haired editor turned, walking back.

''Onodera Kun,'' called Haitani again. ''Just how long are you going to waste your time on him?'' he asked imploringly.

Onodera walked.

''Oh Onodera,'' said Takano as Ritsu came back. ''We forgot to get salt.''

''Let's go,'' said Ritsu. Carrying a dark expression, he put the food down and pushed the cart.

Takano grabbed his arm. ''What's wrong?'' he asked at the quick turn of Ritsu's mood. He'd already gotten the detergent. ''Did I do something wrong?''

Ritsu shook his arm off, in a hurry to get away. ''Let's just go.''

Looking back at where the brunette came from, Takano met eyes with Haitani a distance away. With a sly grin, Haitani gave a small wave. Immediately, the joy drained from Takano. Haitani smirked as the editor in chief's glared darkly at him. Takano took a step forward, wanting to confront the asshole, but Ritsu pulled him back.

''Let's just go.''

* * *

In the car, Takano drove, while Ritsu stared out the window, oddly quiet.

''Onodera.''

''Hm?''

''Haitani . . . '' started Takano, eyes darting towards him. ''What did he say to you?'' he asked. Uneasiness crept slowly through him with Ritsu's silence.

''He didn't tell me anything,'' said Ritsu, still looking out the window. Since he was driving, Takano couldn't see his expression.

''Are you sure?''

''He didn't tell me anything,'' answered Onodera, turning even quieter, ''he just asked how long I was going to waste my time on you.''

''Onodera –''

''I'm just angry,'' said Ritsu. At Haitani, at himself for taking him for his friend, for trusting him. Haitani Shin left a bad taste in his mouth now. Using one hand to steer, Takano reached over with the other and took Ritsu's, holding on tightly. ''That's all.''

* * *

''Onodera,'' called Takano when they got back home. Even though Ritsu had already confided with him on the car, Takano still felt that he need to address the issue. ''Are you okay?''

''I'm fine,'' said Onodera, still looking unhappy at their encounter. ''I just don't want to see Haitani San again,'' he remarked, getting angry at the thought of the editor.

''You know that I really love you, right?'' asked the editor in chief, looking at him. Onodera knew that what Haitani said were lies, right? The truth was that they both loved each other, and Haitani used this fact against them. ''I never once lied about that,'' Takano said, gazing at Ritsu. Under the natural sunlight, Takano's brown eyes looked clear and sincere.

''I know,'' said Onodera.

Hearing his answer, Takano hugged him. Onodera's small quiet voice was heard.

''And you...''

Takano pulled back.

''And you know that I love you too, right?'' asked Onodera. He looked at Takano with his wide eyes and pink cheeks. ''I love you too.''

They leaned in and kissed.

* * *

Takano undressed him, kissing his brunette gently. As they fell back against the bed, completely naked, Takano held onto Ritsu's hands as he entered the person he loved. Onodera squirmed, eyes squeezed shut and body trembling.

Takano loved it. He loved the fact that he was the only one who had permission to do this, the only one who had full access to Ritsu's body, to everything.

He loved the look Ritsu gave him, the heavy-lidded eyes, lost daze, and the hot red flush which spread throughout his body.

Takano loved sex, not because he was an addict, but only because it was with Ritsu, only because it was with the person he loved.

Onodera tilted his head back at the ecstasy of it, giving Takano access to his neck. Using his free hand, he cradled the back of Ritsu's head as he moved to kiss him passionately on the lips.

Takano doesn't love sex.

_*THRUST* THRUST*THRUST*_

He just loved sex with Ritsu.

''Ah!... Ugh….'' Ritsu moaned, calling out his name softly. ''Masamune. . .''

He loved the way Ritsu moaned, each moan sounding like a cry for him.

''I love you,'' Takano told him, before they passed out from their high. ''I love you so much …''

''I love you too,'' Onodera whispered, trying to get the words out as everything faded to black.


	45. On repeat

In the comfort of his apartment, and the start of a new cycle, Takano was reading in bed, spectacles up and a book in hand. He had recently gotten scented candles for the room. The black haired male never thought he would need it but seeing it sold at convenience store made him thought of buying it for Ritsu. Fair enough, the candles did provide a relaxing ambiance. He heard the front door swing open, and Onodera stomping into the room later.

'' Tadaima,'' Onodera deadpaned, dropping his bag onto the floor.

''Okari,'' Takano greeted him, eyes not leaving the pages of his book. Onodera grabbed his towel and went straight for the showers.

.

.

.

''Ah. . .'' Onodera collapsed downside onto his side of the bed after his showers, dropping like a dead bug. He's exhausted.

''Busy day ?'' asked Takano.

''Hai . . . '' Onodera voiced weakly, his eyes closed contrasting with the editor in chief who has leisurely reading. '' The mixed up at the printers caused us so much trouble, we had to redo some work, on top of what we already have.''

''I didn't know the lit department was so lacking in talent.''

Onodera turned and glared shortly at him. '' It's not all our fault! '' he explained, but was too tired to argue with Takano. ''The printers were at fault too.'' He drifted off, his voice relaxing. '' Ah . . . atleast . . . I'm back at home now. . . Ah. . . the room smell so nice. . .''

Takano closed his book. Putting it by his side drawer, he pulled off his spectacles as well. His anticipation was hidden but steady building up. Shifting around, he placed an arm over Onodera's head, having intentions other than reading and turning in for the night.

Slowly moving in, he dropped his voice low and close. '' Onodera . . .''

No response.

''Onodera . . . ''

Light snoring came from the brunette.

''Onodera ? ''

Takano pulled Ritsu around - he had already fallen asleep.

* * *

'' 22, 23, 24 …''

By the side of their bed, Takano had gotten down the floor doing push up to put his adrenaline and energy somewhere else. He didn't even get a goodnight kiss.

_Damn it._

Unsatisfied, the editor in chief was ticked off. Clearly the brunette was tired from work, and that can't be helped.

''41, 42, 43…''

* * *

The next morning started with Onodera making breakfast. At the stove, Onodera spread some butter over the pan. Taking some of last night's rice, he pour it in along with some vegetables and other additional stuff.

''Breakfast ?'' said Takano, coming over.

''Hai,'' said Onodera. I'm not sure if it taste good though.

Takano grabbed a spoon and scooped up a mouthful. Without changing his expression or saying anything, he chewed.

Hesitantly, Onodera reached and took a bit of the out held spoon – and immediately spat out.

''HOW CAN YOU EAT THAT ?!'' Onodera exclaimed in disbelief, tasting how horrid his cooking was. How Takano did ate it like it wasn't washed with mud.

Nonchantly, Takano chewed. Onodera reached for the pan.

''What are you doing ?'' asked Takano, alarmed.

''I'm throwing this away,'' the brown haired male told him. '' This isn't meant for human consumption!''

'' Don't waste food,'' Takano disapproved, taking the pan out of Ritsu's hands and putting it back on the stove.

'' How could you eat that ?''

''It's not that bad,'' said Takano.

Onodera looked incredously at him. _Not that bad ?_ '' Did your taste buds got burnt by all the black coffee you've been drinking?'' he asked.

''Just don't waste food,'' Takano told him, grabbing another spoon full. '' I'll finish it slowly.''

''You really don't have to do that,'' Onodera said, watching Takano eat. The brunette grabs another spoon, giving his cooking another try – and gagged loudly.

After finishing breakfast, Onodera took and his utensils and the pan to the sink.

''What are you doing ?'' asked Takano, coming over.

''I'm washing the plates,'' said Onodera, as if it wasn't clear enough. The brunette put the pan down and started the tap.

''You've already made breakfast,'' said Takano, taking his plate from him and offed the tap. '' You can go take a seat. I'll do the dishes.''

'' That's not necessary,'' said Onodera, staring the tap again. '' I can do the dishes too,'' he declared with a hint of pride.

Takano scoffed.

''What ?'' exclaimed Onodera, offended. Breakfast wasn't good, he knew that. '' I _can _do the dishes, and other chores too ! ''

Takano took one of Ritsu's hands that he liked so much to hold and touch- soft hands that have never done much chores before in the brunette's life.

''You, a pampered prince doing chores ?'' Takano smirked, brought Ritsu's tender hand up and kissed it, effectively making Onodera blush and shushing him. '' Go seat down'' Takano told him, taking care of him. Onodera was probably used to not doing the chores. '' I'll do the dishes.''

* * *

After a long day of work, Takano was in the carpark, waiting for Onodera. He had around 15 minutes of waiting until the brunette would be knocking off.

Takano looked over at him. '' Don't you think we should do something fun ? As a couple ?''

.

.

.

Onodera and Takano sat at the opposite end of the table.

''Is this really your idea of fun ?'' asked Takano.

''Hey ! This one of my favourite pastime I have other than reading,'' said Onodera, rearranging the cards in hands. Similarly, Takano was holding his own cards. ''Besides,'' the brunette continued, '' we can't just be doing sexual stuff all the time.''

Onodera had a point about that, Takano agreed.

''I don't understand why you're so serious about this,'' argued Takano. '' This is just a game of cards.''

''Finally, I have something that I'm better at than you,'' said Onodera, bushy arranging his cards, remembering the feeling he recalled about how he was always winning card games.

'' You were always better than me,'' the brunette said. Be it in maths ten years ago or in his job now, cooking, troubleshooting, and handling the printers, talking to neighbours and authors – Takano was one step above him, better at him at it. Even with the number for their age, the older male would always be ahead of him.

Takano looked at him. Onodera would be crushed if the black haired male played better. ''It's just a game of cards.''

''Your turn.''

* * *

After games, dinner and more work. It was time to turn in.

Takano was already sleep, eyes closed. Onodera slided into the bed, going under the cover. Comfortably adjusted in his sleep position, the brunette suddenly felt a side of a feet slowly down his, and back up again.

''What are you doing ?'' asked Ritsu, chuckling at ticklish motion. With his eyes still shut, Takano reached over, pulling the brunette into him. He crosses a leg over, he continues. Blushing madly, Ritsu pulls the blanket over, and turns over, changing their position.

Takano flips over, his hands moved from Ritsis side upto his brown hair. Onodera placed his hands on Takano's back, feeling his shoulder blade beneath his fingers. Takano doesn't wear a shirt to sleep- he never does. Lightly, and slowly – almost gingerly, Onodera hands traced down Takano's back. The raven gently caressed one of Ritsu's cheeks, experiencing the warmth of his lover. All the while, All the while, they kept their eyes on each other's keeping their each on each other. Onodera could hear the minute changes to Takano's breath, getting heavier each second.

''Ritsu….''

Takano toyed with the first button of Onodera's pyjamas, the look in the brunette's green eyes turning heavier. Onodera's hands stopped at the band of his shorts, his fingers just shy of puling it down.

'' Ritsu,'' Takano murmured, hands moving.

* * *

Takano can't breathe. His' heart's racing uncontrollably. God, Ritsu was amazing. So amazing.

''Ah…. Takano San….'' Ritsu cried softly, squeezing his eyes shut as he arched his back.

Takano loved it, being jammed in between Ritsu's legs – being bruied in his lover – being enveloped by this man. They were sweating everywhere, but couldn't be any less bothered. With a steady rhythm, the springs underneath them squeak meekly.

''Ehhrrrrr….''

Takano loved hearing Onodera's soft moans, the way he take his time to let the sound out his throat, right out of his soul. Grabbing Ritsu's thighs, the black haired man spreads the brunette's legs further, trying to get a better angle in his entrance, but Ritsu clamps his legs back on him. Takano doesn't know which he likes more, having Ritsu closing around him or loosening.

'' You're too tight,'' Takano groaned, brining Ritsu's hip up. '' Raise your hips up a bit.''

Propping his arms up, Onodera raises up for support. A cool breeze travelled in from the slightly opened windows, blowing past their hot bodies.

''Urgh… Urgh…''

Roughly, he grabbed Ristu arms and placed them around his body. Ritsu hasn't touch him much throughout their numerous love makings their love makings – their fucks. '' Touch me,'' Takano commanded. He demands to be touch, to feel and to be felt by his lover, Onodera Ritsu. '' Touch me.''

Struggling to catch his breath, the brown haired male let out small breathes, and cries out loudly as the raven increased his pace, egging him on as he twerks his nipples.

'' Takano San…'' Onodera pleaded with him.

'' Masamune,'' the black haired male corrected him, opening his mouth to kiss Ritsu deeply.

Viciously, Takano continues to move into him, maintaining the maddening pace. Separating from their kiss, the editor looks at his lover, under the small bit of moonlight in their room. Without words, Onodera lessen his grip on the black hair of the older man, and gently caressed a sharp cheek.

* * *

''Ritsu,'' Takano called, the first thing out of his mouth in the morning.

'' Hai ?'' his lover blinked . '' Good morning.''

''Is there something wrong with me ?'' asked Takano.

''No,'' answered Ondoera, started and mildly confused. Why did Takano asked him that ?

'' Then why don't you touch me when we have sex ?'' asked Takano.

''I do,'' Onodera defended, red. He turned to the other side.

''Surely you can't still be shy,'' said Takano.

''Onodera,'' Takano called when the brown haired male didn't reply him. '' Onodera Ritsu. '' He got on top , putting his hands on either side of Ritsu, who still didn't answered him. The brunette was stubbornly turned on his side '' Onodera,'' Takano called. '' Face me.''

'' Are you unattracted to my body ?'' asked Takano.

''Of course not !'' Onodera exclaimed hotly.

Takano leaned back, sitting on his knees. '' Then look at me.''

Onodera shyly turned at him. Under the bright morning light, Takano was giving him a clear view of his entire front down to his knees.

''I want to see you too.''

Onodera pulled the blanket away, sitting up. Uncovered, he suddenly felt very cold. Takano sat down on the side of the mattress, and moved closer to Ritsu. He half pulled and carried Ritsu onto his lap, so that he was sitting on it.

''Here,'' said the editor in chief, taking hold one of Ritsu hands, placing them on his chest, slowly guiding it down his torso. '' Touch me.'' Takano moved his hand to the side of his thighs and stopped right in the middle of his legs, on top of his cock.

Onodera adjusted himself; navigating such that he straddles the older male. Takano leaned back, holding on to the blankets as a way to restrained himself as both Ritsu's hands travelled up his chest.

'' So you're still shy,'' said Takano, no longer restraining himself.'' That just means we have to do more of it then.''

* * *

Ritsu was reading by the table when Takano pulled the chair next time, and joined in as well. It was a weekend , which meant they had the small bit of luxury before starting work. Onodera glanced at the black haired male, return to his reading, and then glanced at him again.

''What ?'' Takano smiled softly; Ritsu been staring at him for a while, looking at him with those keen eyes of his.

Onodera slowly reached a hand out, gently caressing Takano's cheek. Takano grinned, and grabbed Ritsu hand.

''What ?''

''You look younger,'' said Onodera, still gazing at him. Somehow, it was like fearsome editor in chief looked ... softer. Seeing him smiling contently like that, it was almost like he was 10 years younger. '' It's like you time traveled.''

''Is that so ?'' Takano smiled, pressing Ritsu's palm against his cheek. Moving on, the black haired male proceeded to pull Ritsu so that the brunette seats in his lap. ''It's because im happy.'' He's in a good mood.

Today was a weekend, and he didn't have much to finish. Takano stroked Onodera' hand, which he kept pressed against his cheek.

It was a good day.

* * *

.

.

.

**Hey everyone. You may or may not know but I've been updating this fic rather frequently these days. I'm wrapping things up and there will be somemore chapters. I aim to end by ch 50 so there will be some more story coming before i conclude it. In the mean time, I hope you all enjoyed ! :)**


	46. Autumn

Yellow leaves mixed with tinge of brown hang on the trees of Tokyo. On the streets, people were wearing thicker and warmer. With each passing day, the season was changing. On a particular street , a black haired male was on his way home, carrying a brown bag.

''Tadaima,'' Takano called, steeping in the genkan. A shout of ''Okaeri'' was heard as he took of his shoes. Entering the living room, he took his brown bag with him ''Onodera.''

'' Hai ?'' Ritsu came out of the room. '' Is anything the matter ?''

''I got a knitted shirt fro you,'' said Takano, going over to their shared wardrobe.

''ANOTHER ONE ?!'' Onodera exclaimed loudly in exasperation. '' Didn't I told you not to buy any more clothes for me ?!''

''The season is changing,'' said Takano. '' It's gonna get colder.''

Agitatedly, Onodera said '' STOP BUYING ME CLOTHES. the wardrobes doesn't have space any more.'' Grabbing the bag, he opens to see what Takano got him this time - a grey knitted shirt. '' How about you wear this instead ?'' he suggested. The editor in chief has always worn monochromatic colors. This would look good on him.

''It's too small for me.''

''Then stop buying this you cant wear ! There's enough clothes as it is,'' declared Onodera, in case Takano didn't get his point. His clothes altogether took up more than half the once relatively empty wardrobe. He used to be able to push Takano 's clothes around on the hanger, now there's barely space. The editor in chief had gotten him sweaters, cardigans and more shirts.

''I've really go enough to wear,'' Onodera fussed. _Did Takano get any for himself ? _Suddenly, the idea of getting the raven a birthday gift.

''_I think gifts should be more sexy_,'' Takano said last year when he got him a big bag filled with health supplements and _not sexy_ stuff.

''_What should I get for him this year _?'' mused Onodera.

A coat for winter ? Might be too heavy, not really ideal since it's seasonal. A shirt ?

''You can just wear them,'' said Takano.'' Instead of letting them gather dust.''

''I do wear them !'' retorted Onodera. He does, but honestly it was because sometimes he sees them and thought of the fact Takano bought it for him, he couldn't bear to wear it, which was defeating the whole purpose. '' Why do you you buy so much clothes for me anyways ?''

''That's because you hardly wear what I buy for you,'' he answered. So the solution was to buy more. '' . . Do you not like them ?'' Takano asked quietly.

''It's not that,'' argued Onodera. It's just that… the brunette couldn't really bring himself to wear what Takano brought for him, despite it being the exact reason why Takano buy clothes for him. All the expensive labels must have costed him a bomb.

''I really appreciate it Takano,'' Onodera told him. '' It's just I really have enough clothes as it is. Are you getting enough for yourself?'' the brunette asked in concern. Takano's always caring about him, but was he looking after himself too?

Takano stayed quiet, merely looking at Ritsu with that heavy intense gaze of his – the one Onodera always know he gave before something happened between them, like an exploding bomb.

''Ta-MmmmHmmmmm!''

Takano lunged forward, cutting off Risu's words with his ramgaing lips. Onodera's initial protest turned into moans as Takano colldies their body into his with a strong push. The editor in chief's hands placed his hands on the lower back of Ritsu's wasit, sliding them up and down his torso. Moving his hands to the front, he lightly teased his lover's nipples before taking the brunnette' shirt off.

Onodera separated from the kiss, his eyelids fluttering as he takes a few moment to regain his sense, sighing lightly. Takano wasted no time. He kissed Ritsu again, making out with him, aroused after seeing Ritsu's expression. Immensely turned on, Takano slides a hand down the back of Ritsu's jeans, groping his ass.

The black haired editor felt a small sigh touch his lips from his brunette, turning him on even more. Against his thigh, Onodera could feel Takano's cock getting harder, pressing against him. Takano unbutton Ritsu's jeans, and them throw him on the bed. Urgently, he stripped his bruntte of his jeans, pulling his boxers off, leaving him naked. Hurriedly, Takano stripped his own clothes.

He has Ritsu where he wanted – in his bed – in his arms – and in his life. Onodera Ritsu was his.

And Takano was his.

_**Bang*bang*bang*bang*bang**_

The bed rocked from their combined weight and thrust from moving forward. The rectangular metal frame of Takano's bed knocked against the wall, producing a loud sound.

''Takano San,'' Onodera called weakly in his voice, hoarse after so long of shouting.

''What,'' he said, stopping only after hearing Ritsu's insistent protest. Sweat drop slides down their bodies, their hair slick with it.

''. . . Bett. . .'' Ritsu mumbled, catching his breath. ''The bett. . . '' he tried again, trying to get everything out . their were going to spoil _both_ the frame and the wall. '' . . . banging.. . .'' Pausing, Takano waits for the brunette. All he can hear is Ritsu's raggard breathing, and the sexy red flush he had.

''God, you're so hot now'' said Takano, promptly sealing his lips back over Ritsu's, making out without letting him get another word out, his thrust getting harder and faster than before.

_**BANGBANGBANGBANGBANAGBANGBANGBANG**_

* * *

''Hmmm . . . '' Takano woke up, feeling cold. Frowning slightly, he turned to his side, finding Onodera sitting up, getting ready for the day. It was another morning.

Putting his arm up and resting his chin on his palm, Takano stared. Ritsu was grabbing his clothes from the tangled with the editor's in chief's clothes that was pushed together off the bed to the floor last night. Starting with his underwear, Onodera quickly slide into it, giving Takano only a glimpse of his back view. Perhaps from the cold, the brunettes then proceed to hurriedly dress.

''Up already ?'' asked Takano, who then got up behind him, sliding his arms around Ritsu. The editor jumped. With his cheeks red, Onodera turned, quietly staring as well as the editor in chief got dressed.

''Masamune.''

Takano paused slightly, not just at the fact that Onodera just called him by his given name in the morning afterwards but at the tone.

''Hmmmm ?''

''Are you eating well ?''

A pause before a loud laugh was heard. Uncontrollably, the editor in chief gave a small snort at the ironic question. '' Ha. Shouldn't I be asking you that ?''

'' I'm serious.''

''I am,'' answered Takano. '' Why ?'' he asked. Ritsu was using that serious tone.

''It's just that …'' Onodera trailed off, his green eyes showing concern. ''. . . you feel skinner now,'' he said. At this point, he editor was already intimately familiar with his lover's body. These days, the editor in chief's waist feels smaller in his hands – elsewhere and everywhere too. '' Are you sleeping well ?''

'' I am,'' said Takano- now more than ever.

''Then are you getting enough sleep ?'' asked Onodera. Granted, while they spend more time in bed now, it was for sleeping together rather than getting rest. The editor in chief already worked after usual office office, and he gets up early in the morning too. Now with their … increased night life, was Takano getting enough sleep ?

''I get enough,'' answered the raven.

''Takano San,'' said Onodera.

Oh oh- Ritsu was calling him that, which means the brunette meant business.

''I think we're having too much sex,'' said Ritsu, pursing his lips.

''HUH ?!''

Takano stared at him. What did he mean they were having too much sex ?

'' I just feel like we spend too much time having sex,'' Ritsu hurriedly explained. '' Not that I don't enjoy it. I mean I do, but it's just always eat into our sleep time . And we always do it so …. so…. Vigorously that I don't think you're getting enough rest, because you're doing more work which is why you're losing weight.''

Takano continued staring at him, giving him the I-can't-believe-you expression.

''I'm serious!''

The older male sighed. Sitting down on the bed, he pulled Ritsu into his lap.

''I just… I just think you're affecting you're health like.,'' continued Onodera.''There are cases where people work themselves to death.''

Hearing that, Takano couldn't help laughed. '' As if you're one to say,'' he said. Ritsu neglect his health more than he did, and the brunette was reprimanding him instead. '' It's true the jeans are a bit looser, but then again his jeans were always loose.

''Well,'' said Takano as he saw the worried lines increased on Ritsu's forehead. '' I suppose I can afford to eat more.'' He's always been the skinny type. ''And I should try to get more sleep too.''

Onodera breathed a sigh of relief.

''But somehow,'' said Takano, holding him closer. '' I'm really happy you're showing how worried you are about me.'' Onodera blushed, biting down on his lip unconsciously. He was, just that he won't say it. Instead, everything else he does just makes the fact that he cares obvious.

'' Anyways,'' carried on Ritsu. '' We're gonna spoil the bed .At this rate, there's going to be a hole in it.''

''Then we're just get a new one,'' murmmed Takano, with his voice turning low, not missing on the little lip bite Ritsu just did. He could afford it a new mattress . '' We can make a hole in that too.''

With that, he grabbed Ritsu down.

.

.

.

''Takano..''

The editor in chief moved slightly.

''Takano San… wake up…''

The editor in chief sat up, still not fully awake.

''We're gonna be late if you don't get up soon!'' Onodera told him. He was already up, and dressed.

'' We still have time,'' Takano glanced at the clock.

Getting out of the bathroom, the editor in chief saw Onodera dabbing some liquid to his neck.

''What are you doing ?'' asked Takano, puzzled by what was Ritsu doing. He was applying the stuff to his neck, specifically at the love marks. '' Are you trying to conceal them ?'' he asked incredulously.

'' I can't go to work with my neck covered with hickeys,'' said Onodera, squinting some concealer out. He got a bottle some time ago, much to his embarrassment when he approached the sales assistant. If they knew it was for this purpose…

''Just wear a scarf over it,'' said Takano.

''I can't always be wearing a scarf all the time in the office. That would just be weird.''

Takano scoffed. He never tried to hide his love marks from Emerald- or anyone. It was only so recent that he started receiving them, he's definitely not going to hide them.

''Anyways-'' Onodera turned to address him, and stopped as his eyes turned wide. On Takano was a very obvious and mark right on the curve of his neck. The brunette freaks out.

'' YOU HAVE ONE TOO.''

''Of course I have one,'' said Takano, as if the question had to be asked. '' You were so on last night. I couldn't stop you even if I wanted not.'' Not that he wanted to.

''WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP ME ?!'' Onodera freaked out as he hurried over to where Takano was, and rubbed some concealer over the spot.

''You were so good last night, I don't think you want to be stopped.'' Truthfully, the editor in chief didn't - and couldn't want to stop either.

'' Damn it, the shade isn't right,'' Onodera cursed, too preoccupied to bother with what Takano just said. The black haired male was much fairer and it was obviously not going to work. '' What are we suppose to do…'' the brunette fretted. Takano couldn't be walking around like this.

''Just leave it as it is,'' said Takano.

''Do we have white out ?''

* * *

Stepping out of the apartment, Onodera and Takano both had scarfs wrapped around them. Reaching out, Onodera adjusted the scarf on Takano. He had lend the editor in chief his white scarf, contrasting with the black coat Takano had on.

''I don' think anyone will see,'' muttered Onodera, still checking whether it was alright.

'' What are you so worried about for ?'' asked Takano, not getting why Ritsu was so worked up about. They head for the lift. '' It's not like the office doesn't know. . .''

Onodera glared at him.

''I'm just stating the truth.''

.

.

.

* * *

Since the weather was colder now, there was more excuse to stay in bed longer.

Late at night, Takano was lying down in his bed, with Ritsu cuddled right next to him. Holding the brunette in this arms, the older male ran his fingers through the soft brown hair of the person resting on top of him, playing with it. The bruntte was already deep asleep, while Takano was still awake. He wanted to be awake, to be consciously above to enjoy the fact they're together like this. Every time they fall asleep after sex, he hardly could appreciate their time together before they woke up again.

It was so nice, being with Ritsu like this.

Takano rubbed the brunette's back gently and slowly, feeling the fabrics of Onodera's blue pajamas sliding against his skin up and down, and sighed. He would rather much do this without any thing on.

It was silent around them, other than the sound of his clock ticking away, the occasional car passing, and Onodera's light breathing.

Takano let out a resigned sigh. God, he loves him so much.

As if knowing his thoughts, Onodera snuggled further into his lover's arm, nesting into him with the warmth that he received. Under the bed, Takano pulled the comforter closer around them, smiling. These are some of the small things he enjoy in his life now.


	47. Ex-girlfriend club

With work and home, of their routine lifestyle, the days past by like a blur. Before they know it, autumn arrived. The days were chilly, growing colder and colder as winter followed close after. Takano was at home with Ritsu in one of the mornings of autumn.

Autumn really suited Ritsu: the woody and homely vibe, associated with knits and layers of cardigan, were perfect epitome of Ritsu . How the heavy tones of brown, yellow and red matched with his green eyes and locks. Takano watched as Onodera put on a layer of cardigan.

The editor in chief threw his arms around Onodera, happy. He could openly seduce Ritsu now. Like a playful kitten, he slide up to where Ritsu was sitting, and so gently, pressed his lips against Ritsu's neck. Pulling back, he smirked at the sight of Onodera turning so red, making the brunette like he was gonna explode. It was so fun teasing on, he throws them on the bed , landing on it like soldiers avoiding a grenade.

''What are you doing ?'' voiced Ritsu in mild distress, stuck in his arms.

''I want to snuggle.''

Takano held Onodera tighter, appreciating his warmth. Sighing blissfully, he snuggled into his love as the brunette stop protesting.

Takano wondered Onodera's words…

Like his love said, they can't be just doing sexual stuff all the time. Should he take him out for dinner ? No they already ate out a lot. Another getaway ? No, they don't have the time…. What should they do ?

_What does Onodera like ? _Takano wondered. Other than books -and him.

The brunette seem like cultural stuff, and visiting the library. Takano flipped the newspaper, recalling about a play being shown in Tokyo. He goes to search for the newspaper. Flipping until he reached a page, he stopped. The Phantom of Opera was showing.

_The Phantom of Opera . . ._

Ritsu seems like the cultural type, plus he grew up in a wealthy family. The problem would only be their schedule. . . He'll have to work it out.

Sounds like a great idea.

''Takano San !'' Onodera shouted suddenly, interrupting his thoughts. '' We have to clean up the house !''

''Why are you still calling me that ?'' asked Takano, not understanding why. A week ago Onodera had fussed that they clean up the apartment. The place was starting to look like a mess.

''I'm used to it,'' answered Onodera huffingly.

Takano scoffed offensively. '' Who still call each that, after all that we've been doing ?''

''I don't always call you that !''

His partner frowned unhappily. '' Hai hai, Onodera San.''

'' Don't tease me !''

''What do we have to do ?'' asked Takano.

'' Vaccum the floor, clean up out things. And do the laundry.''

''You mean clean up_ your_ things ?''

As Onodera gave him a pointed look, Takano kissed him.

**BREAK**

On the sofa, Onodera collapsed onto it, huffing and puffing while Takano falls back easily onto the seat next to him.

''Should we get one of those robot cleaners?'' asked Onodera. That way they don't have to do any work.

''Yokazawa got one of those, he said it spoiled easily,'' said Takano. Seeing the look on Onodera'a face as he said that made him change his words. '' Maybe we can consider if we see any.'' Perhaps he brunette really want to get one because then he looked hopeful again.

''What do you want for your birthday ?''

''Huh ?!'' At the sudden question, Takano snapped his head around. Avoiding, Onodera was looking awkwardly to the front, cheeks red.

'' I was wondering what to get you this year,'' muttered the brunette. '' In case, you don't like what I got like last year.''

Takano relaxed his gaze. '' I don't need anything, '' he answered. Clasping his hand over Ritsu's, he told him one thing. '' I just need you beside me.'' Onodera blushed. He should expect something like this by now, but it still made him blush.

''Besides,'' said Takano. '' I never said I didn't like it.'' He gets up and opened a kitchen cabinet, taking one tonic drink out of his stash. '' I just said it needs to be more sexy.''

.

.

.

'' Are you holding on?'' asked Takano as he held on to one side of the sheet.

'' Hai,'' answered Onodera. They were folding the laundry, and had this big piece of bed sheet to settle.

''On the count of 3. 1… 2… 3!''

The sheet waved from both side, thrown upwards.

''Even though cleaning up the house was rather tiring,'' thought Onodera. ''This is actually pretty… fun too.''

The sheets lifted, flying up the air. As it landed down softly by the pull of gravity, Takano finds a smiling Onodera at the other side, green eyes twinkling.

**break**

Driving in his car, Takano asked a question.

''Onodera,'' Takano called as they were going to work. '' How about we catch a play next weekend. ''

''A play ?''

''The phantom of opera is showing,'' said Takano. '' I thought we could catch it together.''

Onodera brightened immediately, beaming at the prospect but then dampen at the thought of their schedule. '' Do we the time ? '' he asked in a small voice.

'' The play is running for a few months. We can definitely catch it if we find time for it,'' Takano affirmed firmly.

Onodera gave a small smile.

**Break**

'' Are you ready soon ?'' Takano huffed impatiently, waiting at the door for Onodera. They were leaving for the play but were already running late. ''I'll drive the car around,'' he said, heading down first.

''I'm coming! I'm coming !'' Onodera came rushing, jamming his feet into his shoe.

''Seriously, does it take you this long to get ready ?''

''I was up late last night !''

''You really need to manage your time properly.''

''I'm doing a great job managing my time ! Even better than before !'' Onodera huffed.

''Oh, '' said Takano. '' Are you giving me the credit ?''

''I'm not !''

.

.

.

Settled in their seats, they were moments into the play. Takako couldn't help sneak a glance at the brunette, he was fully engrossed in the play, oblivious to the fact that he was being watched. Taking it as a good sign, Takano returned his attention back to the stage before him .

**.**

**.**

**.**

A crowd of people streamed out of the theatre.

''How was the play ?'' asked Takano.

''It was really good !'' exclaimed Onodera happily. '' Reminded me of the time when I studied overseas-'' abruptly, the brunette cut off his sentence, realising what topic he was on.

''It's alright,'' said Takano. '' It's not a sensitive topic anymore. Go on''

''Um. . .Well,'' Onodera started awkwardly. '' When I studied overseas, our school once took us on a class trip to watch a play,'' and then he brightened at the memory. '' It was really good. All of us really enjoyed it.''

''Hmmm…'' Takano voiced. '' I wonder who did your chores over there.''

''What- of course I did my own chores !''

'' Onodera ! '' A female voice shouted. Coming up to them was a lady in her 20s, with honey blond hair and round bright eyes.

''Suki ?'' said Onodera, surprised, not quite believing his eyes.

''Onodera !'' Suki repeatedly, wearing a big smile. The lady come running forward, stopping in front of the brunette. '' It really is you !''

''H-hello''

''Hello !'' Suki greeted back. '' It's been years since we meet.'' Her warm brown eyes smiled at him.

''Hai,'' Onodera agreed, with slight awkwardness.

''Onodera,'' Takano's low voice came from behind, intercepting their conversation. '' Who's this ?''

''This is Suki chan… she was my… ex girl-friend in high school when I was overseas.''

Suki extended a hand out to Takano who promptly shook it. '' Nice to meet you,'' she said. '' I'm Onodera's ex girlfriend in high school,'' she introduced, meaning it as a joke, not knowing the weight of her words.

''What a concidence to see you here,'' commented Onodera weakly.

''I got back to Tokyo after college,'' Suki said. '' I'm working in tourism now.''

''Oh I see.''

''How about you ?''

''I'm working in Marukawa shouten now as an editor,'' he informed her.

''That's a great job for you !'' she approved. '' I remembered how much you liked to read.'' Smiling a each other, Suki took out her phone. '' Can we exchange numbers ? it's so good to see you again in Japan. I'm engaged now.'' Proudly, she showed off her diamond ring. '' I would like to invite you to the wedding.''

'' Oh congratulations!'' said Onodera, immediately feeling the stress lifting off his back, he gladly took her phone and entered his number.

''Thanks !'' said Suki, quickly sending a message to his phone. And then in British accent, she spoke in English. '' See you around !''

As she left, a cold silence gathered between them.

_Uh oh_

Onodera didn't dare to sneak a glance at Takano, already dreading his reaction.

''So that was your ex-girlfriend ?''

''…. H-hai…''

''She's rather bubbly…''

Onodera laughed rather awkwardly. '' She has always been like that.''

''How long did you guys dated ?''

''A few months….I can't remember ….''

''You can't remember?''

''Do we really have to talk about this? ''

Wordlessly, they continued walking down the street, passing by a bar. A lady was outside on the phone when she suddenly called out Onodera's name.

''Onodera ?''

''Yummi Senpai ?''

_Yummi Senpai ? _echoed Takno in his head. Who was this Yummi Senpai ?

''It really is you,'' she said, giving a surprised smile. '' What a coincidence to see you here.''

''Hai….'' Onodera echoed back. '' What a concidence …''

''I'm here for a class reunion,'' Yummi told him. '' There's some familiar faces in there that I haven't seen in years.'' She smiled widely at him, dimple showing along with her great smile. A few years older, she was also standing at the same height as Onodera, with light brown hair at shoulder level.

''Is that you're friend ?'' asked Yummi, noticing Takano at last. He looked like the silent type.

'Hai,' said Onodera. '' He's actually my former boss when I was still editing shojou manga.''

'' Wow, shojou manga! That's interesting. Oh, excuse me for being so rude.'' Yummi extended her hand out, which Takano took it.'' Nice to meet you, I'm Yummi. I was Onodera' ex-girlfriend in university.''

''Yummi !''

''What ? It's the truth !'' Yummi said. '' Since when were you shy about dating older women ?'' she asked playfully. '' Well, I won't disturb you further. See you around Onodera !''

''Since when did you date older women ?'' asked Takano the moment their back was turned.

''It was for a short while in uni !'' exclaimed Onodera, flustered.

''Do you call all your seniors senpai as well ?''

''Well…. It was only polite of me to do so,'' said Onodera, even though he didn't actually like it- it reminded him of someone, which was why he dropped the word when the senior allowed it.

''ONODERA !''

Instantly, both editors freezed at the unknown third voice.

''Onodera !'' The person came forward.

_Oh no…. Onodera pleaded…. It couldn't be …._

''Oh ! Onodera Ritsu ! Do you recognize me ?'' Another female in her mid-twenties came running up to him. She was shorter than Ritsu, wearing a pair of black spectacle, with her dark haired tied in a ponytail. Blues eyes blinked at them. Once glance and anyone could tell she was the studious type. '' It's me, Naomi.''

What ? Was it met the exes day ?

Warily, Onodera formed his sentence carefully.

''It's so nice to see you again !'' Naomi exclaimed.

''It's so nice to see you too,'' Onodera said the same thing back drily, trying to be as polite as possible.

''What's with you ?'' Naomi teased. '' Aren't you happy to see me again?''

''No…. I'm happy to see you again.''

''Excuse me,'' Takano came forward, joining in the conversation, smiling pleasantly. '' Who are you?''

''Oh, excuse me for the rudeness,'' she apologised. '' I was Onodera's junior back in university when we were in the lit club together.''

''Junior ?''

''Hai hai,'' Naomi confirmed, and added in another fact. '' We briefly dated for a while too.''

_Oh crap_

Onodera sneaked a glance at the editor in chief, who looked even more impassive than before, which just meant. . .

_He's even more pissed then before_

''I see,'' said Takano. Maintaining his smile, he looked over at Onodera. '' Who would have thought Onodera would have so many ex-girlfriends?''

Inwardly, Onodera cringed. Did Naomi not feel the underlying current under Takano's smile ?

''Ah… Onodera's a nice guy. '' said Naomi. ''But…. I also felt that he was emotionally unavailable the whole time. But it's okay,'' she smiled at him '' We broke up amiably,'' she said coolly.

''That's good to hear,'' said Takano, sounding genuinely pleasant to hear it.

''Hai, it is !'' agreed Naomi, unaware of the context from Takano's perspective. '' What are you doing as now, Onodera ?''

''Oh!'' The brunette's green lit up. '' I'm an editor at Marukawa Shoten now.''

''That sounds amazing !'' Following his reaction, Naomi's eye lit up at the news. '' I'm-''

''Excuse me,'' Takano interrupted politely. '' We have business to attend somewhere else. I'm sorry but we have to take our leave first.''

''Oh, of course!'' Naomi apologised, true to her Japanese manners. '' Allow me to do a quick exchange of contacts,'' she said, taking out her phone.

When the two were done exchanging contacts, Takano tugged Onodera, turning him around.

''Onodera'' Naomi called when they were some steps away. The brunette turned back.

'' Are you… doing well?'' she asked, wondering how to phase this question, eyes searching and wondering whether this good person and friend in front of her ever did recover from the damage he that she could tell he carried then. Onodera paused, reeling from her question.

''Hai.''

Naomi smiled. ''That's good to hear.''

。

。

**Break**

Both parties turned their back. Moving frontwards, a soft voice called out Onodera's name out.

''Ritsu''

An kohinata stood in front of them, smiling happily up at Onodera.

* * *

**It's been a month since i updated this TLO. Sorry everyone if this chapter seems a little rush. I am forever underestimating the amount of work i have to do. I will make it up for the next chapters! I will be wrapping this story up soon (i hope) Please leave me some encouraging comments!**


	48. Christmas Eve

In a quiet café, away from the noise and commotion outside, the two brunettes seat opposite each other, each having a cup of coffee in front of them. Having not seen each other in for a while after what happened, it was abit awkward between them.

''Ricchan,'' started An. ''I'm really happy to see you again.''

''It's good to see you too,'' said Onodera, despite the awkward circumstance, he was happy to see her.

''How are you doing ? '' The petitie lady asked.

''I'm….. good,'' answered Onodera, his last word carrying a hint of surprise, as if the editor himself did not expect the answer.

''I'm glad,'' remarked An , happily smiling away at how her former fiancé was doing. She couldn't complete shut her feelings away, but to see Onodera doing so well was wonderful.

''How are you doing ?'' asked Onodera.

''I'm fine,'' said An, letting the silence pass for a moment. '' My mom has been asking me to go for match making sessions lately. I've been to a few, just to try and they were nice but I don't feel anything other than friendship towards them.''

''Ah…'' said Onodera, not knowing what else to say. '' I see. Well, I'm sure you will meet someone you like! You're a really nice person, '' he told her honestly.

''Ricchan,'' said An. '' Don't worry about me,'' she said nicely, meaning no ill intent. ''Are going back to your parent's to visit ? Your mom told me what happened.''

At the mention of his parents, Onodera's expressed turned conflicted, and he sighed in exasperation. '' I don't know if they actually want me to go back.''

''Ricchan, you should speak to your mom,'' said An. '' I know things aren't great between you two but I believe she still care about you. At least make a call.''

Onodera exhaled, considering the advice. '' Well… maybe I would call to ask.'' It has a been a while, after all.

An smiled at him, and took a sip of her drink.

''An chan….'' Onodera hesitated. _Is this suitable to ask? Isn't it a bit insensitive_? '' What is a good gift ?'' he asked.

* * *

''Masamune,'' Onodera spoke . '' I will be going out today.''

''To where ?''

''An chan's house.''

''What for ?''

''I'm going there to visit,'' said Onodera, half telling the truth.

Takano eyes suspiciously at him.

''It's nearly Christmas,'' Onodera scrambled to say.

''What will you be doing over there ?''

'' Just visiting.''

Takano knew something was off, but not enough to raise red flags.

''Fine,'' he said. ''If that's what you said.''

'' Onodera.''

''Hai ?''

''I love you.''

Onodera blushed. '' I love you too.''

**Break**

''Ah hai Takano ? ''

''Are you coming back for dinner ?''

''…. Ah No I will be having dinner here… Hai…. Hai…''

While Onodera ended the call, An watched from the back with a pensive look.

_He really does love him a lot._

''I'm sorry, did that bothered you ?'' asked Onodera.

An shook her head, passing a spare apron to the male.

_I can't believe I'm actually doing this._ Onodera panicked.

'' _What is a good gift ?'' he asked._

''_Hmm…'' An pondered. '' A hand-made gift.''_

_Hand made ?_

''_Is it for Takano San ?'' she asked. _

_Onodera paused, didn't expect her to guess. '' Hai…'' he answered shyly. Takano's birthday was coming up, and even though the editor in chief said he didn't want anything, the brunette still felt like he had to give something. It's his birthday after all. '' His birthday is on Christmas Eve.'' _

_An chan eye's widened at the news. '' Christmas Eve! It must be very special to celebrate it, Ricchan.''_

_Akwakardly, Onodera smiled. '' It is … I mean… I need to get a gift though…''_

''_How about baking a cake ?'' An suggested._

''_A cake ?''_

''_Hai '' said An. '' A Christmas cake.''_

He was really doing this - baking a cake. Out on the kitchen table in An's house, was all the bowls, measuring cups and equipment all lay editor couldn't even make a rice omelette, let alone a cake.

''Don't worry Ricchan, I'm here,'' said An reassuringly. They had arrived yet after their conversation.''Takano San is so lucky that you're making a cake for him,'' she said.

''Ha.. ha.. ha..'' laughed Onodera dryly. If the cake doesn't turn out disastrous.

So for the next few hours, they weight the ingredients, mixing it with the beater, occasionally looking at the instructions.

''This actually isn't easy,'' said Onodera, sweating with nerves. The hardest part was the rolling of the cake. He lacked the delicate moves of a girl and in the end the cake was a bit charred.

'' I'm sorry I have to trouble you for this An chan,'' apologised Onodera for causing inconvenience.

''It's okay Ricchan, said An. '' You can come here and practice. Besides, we haven't spent time like this since we were teenagers.''

At the mention, a memory came back to him.

_That's right_… remembered Onodera suddenly. An Chan gave him chocolates for Valentine's Day before, way back when they were teenagers.

''Ricchan, is something wrong ?''

''AH ? Eh… no…''

''Ricchan….'' An looks at him, knowing that he's lying.

''I …. I just remembered the time when you gave me Valentine's day chocolate in high school,'' said Onodera. It was around that time the he rejected her, but she still made it for him.

An smiled. ''You still remembered,'' she said, grateful enough.

_I can't believe I'm doing this._

* * *

Onodera panicked. He was really doing this. He was really going to Takano a cake- a cake that he baked by himself. He already spend another day at An's house perfecting the recipe.

_What if he doesn't like it?_ He thought. _Or if it taste really bad?_

'' Takano,'' said Onodera nervously. '' I have something for you.''

Curiously, the older male went forward to him.

''H-here'' Onodera stammered, holding out the box dreadfully. '' Here is it.''

''A cake ?'' asked Takano.

''H-h-hai''

While he was opening the box, Takano thoughtlessly told him, '' Why did you buy this-'' Seeing the messy icing, the crooked and lopsided handwriting, Takano realised immediately that he cake was handmade – by Onodera. The brunette embarrassingly looked away.

''You made this ?'' asked Takano.

''Hai…''

''Was this why you were at your ex-fiance's place?''

''H-hai…''

Takano set the cake on the table, unboxing it. He grabbed a fork, picked up a chunk of it and pop it in his mouth. Unwittingly, Onodera looked on with careful anticipation, waiting. During the small pause where Takano examined the cake, Onodera gave a disclaimer.

'' I don't know how bad it will taste ! So you don't have to force yourself eat if you don't want to.''

''Don't be an idiot,'' said Takano. Of course he would eat it. To his surprise, the cake was coffee flavoured. It wasn't bad at all, maybe a little dry.

''It's good,'' said the older male as Onodera observed his reaction very carefully. Takano took another bite. ''Thank you,'' said Takano coming over to give Onodera a kiss. ''It's delicious.''

Flustered for a moment, Onodera broke out of Takano's embrace as he remembered something else. He dig into his bag and took out a small white bag.

''I got this for you too, incase the cake was bad,'' he said handing the bag over.

Onodera handed Takano a small bag, inside it was a black box.

''What's this ?''

''Your gift.''

Takano opened the box. Nesting inside it, was a large watch. It had a silver casing, attached to a handsome black leather strap. In the dark background were finely detailed dial and sub dials, the silver numbers and lines stark and clear against the black ground. The slim second hand ticked away. It was utterly exquisite.

_Two gifts ? _Onodera got him two gifts this year ?

''Happy birthday,'' wished Onodera. Shyly, he tiptoed and gave a peck on the cheek to Takano.

* * *

Takano rested in bed, with Ritsu, as always now. The cold weather was making snuggling needed more now.

Takano loved this feeling of being in bed. He had really been a lazy individual but it was a lot harder now with the brunette with him. It was too comfortable, too warm. He would like to up get, but it was like he was too heavy to now.

He looked back, finding Onodera staring up at him with this sleepy gaze and half lidded eyes, with the look- the look that he only gave him. Takano smirked. Every now and then he catches Onodera sneaking glances at him, but letting himself being catch red handed like this was rare.

''What are you staring at ?''

Instead of answering, Onodera simply stayed quiet. Moving over, Takano leaned forward on his knees, placing his hands on either sides of Ritsu. The brunette was still looking at him with the heavy dreamy gaze .

Takano Masamune was fair skinned and sharp edges. Shiny black hair fell forward as the editor in chief stared back at him with a slight smile from above. Onodera continued observing, before him – long pretty eyelashes lined the top of his gorgeous dark eyes, a feminine feature on an otherwise very masculine face.

How could someone so cold, be this hot blooded towards him ?

Onodera continued observing this enigma before him, and it mildly occurred to him that he might just never completely figure him out in this life. Takano Masamune was beautiful. It wasn't just his outer appearance, but it was his entire being.

''You're beautiful.''

''W-what ?'' Startled, Takano looked at him with wide eyes.

''You're beautiful,'' repeated Onodera.

Hesitantly, Takano stared back him.

In his life, the editor has been called a lot of things: capable, hardworking, fierce. An asshole; a player; quiet; straightforward, good-looking; handsome. Bastard.

No one had called him beautiful.

Wordlessly, Takano struggled to get the words out.

''Did I say something wrong ?'' asked Onodera, never seen Takano so shaken. Should he not have said that ?

''No… I ….'' Takano struggled weakly. He was moved to speechlessness. Even with all that he did initially, and his cruel intention, Onodera could still find him that. '' Can you say that again ?'' he asked softly.

Ritsu brushed strands of hair away from Takano's cheek, gently caressing it. '' You're beautiful,'' he said. '' I love you.''

Break

Takano hugged him for a long time.

''Um…. ''

The editor in chief pressed a gentle kiss to Ritsu's forward. Closing his eyes, he put their forehead together, taking a minute with his brunette. Likewise, Onodera closed his eyes. Slowly, Takano undressed him, taking his time. The way Takano kissed was soft and slow, the opposite of his usual deep and intense ones. With his hand, he held Ritsu's chin and tilts up gently, looking into green eyes, clear as marbles.

Overlapping their hands, flat against the bed, Takano made gentle love to Ritsu, moving into his slowly.

''Ritsu…''' Low, and deep, Takano's voice drifted over. He's never made slow and gentle love before to this person; Onodera has just proved once again how much he means to the black haired male.

''…Uh…'' Tilting his head backwards, Ritsu let out a slow chorus of a purr while Takano dropped small kisses over him. Even like this, Takano overwhelmed him.

Hitting their climax, Takano hold Ritsu as they come down, so gently but dearly, like he was the most precious and fragile thing in the world.

''Masamune…'' Onodera wanted to say something.

''…. I love you…'' Takano said it again. Onodera Ritsu was so precious to him.

He's the best thing that has ever happened to him.

* * *

Against the table, Onodera's phone vibrated nosily. Picking it up, the brunette widened his green eyes at the name of the caller. Hesitating, he debated for a moment before picking up the call.

''Dad?''

''Ritsu,'' his dad said. '' We would like to see you and your partner.''


	49. Meet the parents session

''Ritsu, we would like to invite you back for the new year,'' said his dad. '' We also would like to see your partner too''

_What ?_

''Did Mom say anything about this ?'' asked Onodera as his head buzzed with questions.

''We had a talk about this, and we came to agree that we should meet the both of you. Your mother still isn't happy about it but atleast she's willing to see him first.''

''Ohhh…'' Onodera's words drifted off, all that he could say. Does that mean his mother was willing to give Takano a chance ?

''Come back on New year's day,'' said Papa Onodera. '' We won't take the whole day.''

''Okay…'' Onodera said in a daze, still taking the news in. They ended the call.

''What was that about ?'' asked Takano.

Onodera turned to him, surprised at this unexpected turn. '' My parents wants to meet you.''

Takano's eyes widened. _What ?_

''They want to meet me ?''

''Hai,'' Ritsu comfirmed, in disbelief himself. '' They want us to go on New Year's.''

Composing himself, Takano asked, '' Did they say why ?''

''Not specifically,'' said the brunette. '' They just want to meet you, and see me too. I haven't been back in a while. I'm not sure what to expect from them either.''

_Mom just probably wants to compare him to An Chan …._

''New Years huh…'' Takano mumbled. ''That's less than a week from now.''

* * *

The next night in the department, Takano sat in his seat, still buried deep in work.

''Takano San! '' called Kisa. He and Mino had their bags and was ready to leave. '' We're going off first ! Good job today !''

''Good job today,'' bid Takano as they left, the only staff left in the quiet office.

Much later, as the editor drove back home, the thought of his pending parents meet surfaced.

Should he get something? He probably should as a gesture of courtesy and respect. So the real question is, what should he get them?

Health tonics?

The car slowed to a stop at the red light, vibrating slight as the engines run. Takano's reflection in the screen faced back at him.

* * *

Standing outside the fancy decorated shop, Takano wondered for a moment. He really was doing this. For a split second, Takano debated with himself whether it was a stupid choice. But he did his research, and read the reviews.

It's all or nothing.

* * *

'' Okaerinasai. . . '' said Onodera as the heard the door of their shared apartment open.

''Tadaima''

Onodera looked up- and paused at the sight in front of him. Takano had his hair cut.

''Masamune . . .'' Onodera commented, caught off guard, never thought that he would. Takano didn't just get his hair cut, but styled as well. It looked like a pretty expensive. '' You went for a hair cut ? …''

''Hai…'' said Takano.'' I thought I should go get it trimmed before we visit your parents. '' The editor in chief looked refreshingly different. Wearing his black framed spectacle; his fringe swept stylishly to the side, the back was shorter. Almost hesitantly, he asked, ''does it look presentable enough?''

''It does,'' said Onodera. Classically handsome. He wasn't used to the jarring change but the older male really did look like someone was the editor in chief of the best-selling department of the company now- prim and proper. All business. If he gave one of his smirks now, the raven would look devilishly handsome. Not only that, Takano was also carrying a gift set, a small basket full of health tonics.

''I also bought some gifts for them when we visit.''

Takano didn't say anything. The black haired male instead cast his gaze downwards.

_Was Masamune nervous ?_ wondered Onodera. Was that why he went and get a haircut ? Because he wanted to look presentable to his parents ?

_He probably spent a lot on it._

The older male was being quiet, even more than usual. The brunette observed him somemore. The raven was looking… unsure, deep in thought.

''Masamune,'' said Onodera.

Takano looked up.

'' It will go okay,'' said Ritsu, holding his arm. Even though the brunette himself was nervous at the whole thing, he wanted to bring assurance to his lover.

Wordlessly, Takano hugged him.

* * *

.

.

.

The weekend finally arrived.

Quietly, Takano drove them, the atmosphere heavy.

''How are they like?''

''Eh ?''

''How are you're parents like ?'' asked Takano.

''Oh…'' said Onodera. '' Mum has always been strict with me but as I got older it got slightly better. She was the one who always said that prepared food is junk food. As for Dad, he was always busy at work and not at home often. . . '' Onodera drifted off, recalling his parent, unable to give an answer. ''Even I'm not sure how he's like.''

''I see,'' said Takano.

.

.

.

Onodera and Takano entered through the gates, having the car parked right infront of the door. Onodera lived in a pretty big house by middle class standards but by the upper class standard it was humbly decent. Removing their shoes, they entered the house.

Takano stood, looking around the house. There were various photos around, all of them with Onodera inside. There was older one where he was around 5 or 4, holding a book and smiling delightfully at the camera. Another was when he was older, sitting together with a younger An Kohinata in their youths. One was taken with his parents in a foreign country, mostly likely taken when he was studying overseas. The cold gave him rosy cheeks. Lastly, there was one of their family photos; Onodera was in his gown, standing straight as a line with his parents seated formally at the front.

They might have been busy people, but clearly - Onodera Ritsu was very loved by his parents.

* * *

Quietly, Onodera lead him down the middle of a hall, into a big room. Seated infornt of a table, much like it was an interview, was Papa and Mama Onodera.

''Takano San,'' Papa Onodera greeted him. Two cups of tea were placed infront of the empty seats. '' Please have a seat.''

Sitting down, Onodera proceed to hold Takano's hand, anxiety reflecting in those green eyes.

'' You're the editor in chief for shojo manga in Marukawa. That's an interesting genre for a man to work in,'' started Papa Onodera. '' And you're very good at it too. I heard from Isaka you turned the whole department around. Sales have been solidly good ever since.''

''I do my best,'' Takano replied simply. '' I couldn't have achieved it if my workers aren't up to task.''

''How are your parents doing ?''

''I don't keep in contact with them anymore,'' said the editor in chief. '' After they got divorce when i was in high school.''

''I'm sorry to hear that.''

''It's alright.''

''You're 30 this year, correct ?'' asked Mama Onodera, cutting in.

''Hai''

''It's about time to get settled then.''

''I'm more or less settled,'' answered Takano, even though he already found the person he wants to spend his life with, blatantly looking at Onodera. Green eyes narrowed.

''More or less ?''

''Onodera's living with me now,'' said the raven. '' He's sharing my 's the closest we can get to married life.''

'' Falling for a subordinate isn't very professional is it, Takano San ?'' asked Mama Onodera, challenging him.

''I know I shouldn't have, but sometimes things like this aren't intention. And it happens in other offices too. But even when I did fell in love with your son, I didn't let it affect my professional life and the work we handled.''

''Weren't you both his neighbour and boss ?''

''Hai''

'' Don't you think you should have maintained your distance ?''

''On the contrary, I think that just makes it hard to do so,'' said Takano. '' And the feeling goes both ways.''

''How long has this been going on ?''

''I don't know,'' answered Onodera truthfully. When did things started? How can he define when did everything muddled up ? '' Ever since I started working at Marukawa.''

''Ritsu,'' asked his mom, finally going straight to the point- what she hasn't understand. '' Why does it have to be man ? Why does it have to be him ?''

''Tsuma,''

'' I – I don't know,'' answered Onodera, his blush deepening. He doens't have to give answer, but when the question was out, Onodera felt like he had to answer it. Why did it have to be the back haired senior ? Again and again. '' I wish I can explain why but I don't have the answer for it.''

''Do we need to give a reason ?'' asked Takano, cutting in to the conversation. '' As long as it's genuine, it shouldn't matter. ''

''Why do you love my son ?'' asked Mama Onodera. The only question that mattered.

'' I don't have the words to explain why,'' said Takano, never being able to find the right words to explain the range of emotions he has for the brunette. How Onodera was his everything.

''That's not good enough Takano san,'' said Mama Onodera. '' I only have one son. I can't just give him out to anyone. The reason why I arranged his enjoyment to An was because they grew up together. She understands him. She never objected to the arrangement. She loves him. If anything, An's the best for him.''

Under the table, Onodera's hands tightened around Takano's nervously as the brunette pursed his lips. With no one else knowing, Takano squeezed back.

''I know you are anxious about our relationship, about your son having a man as his lover,'' said Takano.''I love him, I truly love him.''

''My parents divorced when I was in high school, and they were arguing for ages before that,'' explained the editor in chief. ''They didn't cared about my feelings, how I was doing in school, whether I had eaten or anything like that. But I can tell you love Ritsu very much. I know, in your eyes, I might not match up to your son. But please believe me ,'' Takano looked at her, his dark eyes drilling into the green ones which passed down to Ritsu. '' I truly love him.''

* * *

Papa Onodera looked out the window, with Mama Onodera standing behind him. After the meeting was over, the pair looked out the window, observing the pair getting into the car and leaving.

'' Well, what do you think ?'' asked Papa Onodera.

''Not good enough.''

''Our son ?''

''Takano,'' said the mother of Onondera Ritsu, heading to take a seat in the chair. '' He's not good enough for our son.''

''But he loves Ritsu.''

''So did An Chan,'' said the lady. '' And she's known him since they were kids.'' He massaged her head. ''How did An lose out to him ?''

''Well Ritsu loves him,'' replied Papa Onodera, bringing the only difference that matters. '' And I don't doubt Takano's sincerity.''

''He's a man,'' Mama Onodera replied. If he was a she, she would have complied sooner.

''But our son loves him,'' said the head of the company. '' And he loves our son too.''

Suspiciously, Mama Onodera narrowed her eyes. '' I don't like him,'' she said, trying to explain the feeling she had. '' I don't think he can take care of Ritsu. He's not good enough.''

''Why do you say that ?''

''Mother's instinct.''

''Did mother's instinct told you your son was gay ?''

Mama Onodera glared at her husband. As his mother, and a woman, she mostly raised Ritsu up. He is her only son. Ritsu didn't have a relationship that could last for more than few months. Initially, she thought it was because of his engagement to An, but the brunette even rejected that, even if she has been pushing him for it. But a man?

'' Well, I think he's alright,'' said Papa Onodera. '' He seems to want nothing more than to be with Ritsu.''

His wife didn't argue.

The head of Onodera publishing went on. '' Takano himself is already an editor in chief, he has a stable income of his own. And from what Isaka said, he's a capable worker. You've seen him for yourself; he's not unattractive- in fact, he's probably very eligible. So why would he choose Ritsu when he could have choosen someone else, and have what is traditionally regarded as a ''normal'' life? ''

Mama Onodera remained quiet, looking forward pensively.

''I know you don't him because he's a man and there's the issue of Ritsu taking over the company. Frankly, I will have a headache sorting these out too. But-'' Papa Onodera paused, recalling the way Ritsu looked at his partner. '' You can't deny they have something special between them.''

''I just. . . I just want to find someone who's the best for him,'' said Mama Onodera.

''I know,'' said her husband, coming over. Placing a hand, he comforted her. '' I know.''

* * *

''So, how do you think it went ?'' asked Onodera.

''It went alright,'' said Takano, pausing before adding, '' I think your mom doesn't like me.''

'' She doesn't like anyone,'' said Onodera. '' When I was small, I thought she preferred having An chan as her child.''

''I'm sure she cares about you,'' said Takano, thinking about the line of photos in their house. '' Mine didn't even bothered.''

''I'm sorry,'' apologised Onodera, for bringing up such a sensitive topic.

''It's alright,'' said Takano. '' Well, now that's over. There's Marukawa's annual New Year 's Eve party tomorrow.''

''Oh.'' Remembering , Onodera's eyes went wide. ''Right !''

* * *

.

.

.

**.**

**Dear everyone, this chapter has been something I've looked forward too. I hope you did too !**


	50. New yearr's eve party

The New Year's Eve party held every year by Marukawa Shouten to celebrate the achievements the company had made for the year and usher in a new one. It was also the only opportunity to meet all the many other artists, mangakas and staffs, to shake hands with the big shots.

Or to embarrass yourself in front of a crowd.

Panicky, Onodera ironed his suit, moving the appliance around to make sure he ironed everything.

''You don't have to be so nervous,'' said Takano. '' You went to it last year, remember?'' he reminded.

'' I know, but I'm in the literature department now. They told us they managed to get almost all of the high profile senseis to come, so we have to be presentable,'' Onodera fretted, anxiety written all over his features. '' What if I got their names mixed up ?'' worried Onodera, saying it out unconsciously.

''They will be wearing name cards,'' reminded Takano. '' Like we did last year.''

Then it will be an even bigger embarrassment to make the mistake!

''I haven't found my tie yet !'' exclaimed Onodera, alarmed. '' Or prepare the gift sets for my authors!''

'' Just take one of mine,'' said Takano, eyeing him as Onodera scurry around the apartment. '' You sure have a lot of last minute work left to do,'' he disapproved. ''Oh, and by the way, I booked a room at the hotel tomorrow for the night.''

''What ?!'' Onodera exclaimed. _What room ?_ '' Why did you book a room for ?!''

''Knowing you, you're going to get yourself wasted tomorrow. I'm not dragging you back to my car and risk driving with you puking all over it,'' said Takano. ''It will be easier to get a room.''

Glaring at him, Ritsu couldn't argue. _He's right. Damn it._ Suspiciously, he frowned. _I just hope he don't get any funny ideas later._

Onodera eyed him darkly with a look for a moment and paused. '' Are you going to keep the new hair style for tomorrow?'' he asked.

''I might,'' said Takano. '' I'm not used to it but then I might just keep it for the occasion. Why ?''

''Noting,'' said Onodera composedly. '' You do look very handsome.'' Walking off, he muttered lowly to himself. ''You're _really_ have to fend them off tomorrow.''

* * *

**'**'Oh ! Takano San !'' Kisa exclaimed in excitement, his eyes widening upon seeing his boss when he arrived. '' You cut your hair ! You look even better than before. '' Ever smiling, Mino nodded. Hatori agreed. '' There is a very nice hairstyle.''

''Was it expensive?'' asked Kisa, buzzing with questions. '' You looked younger too. Did Ricchan asked you to do it ?'' he snickered. ''We're gonna have an even harder time this year.''

''Stop asking so much,'' ordered Takano, putting an end to the annoying questions as his eye brows knitted downwards.

''Oh Yokazawa San,''greeted Kisa. '' Look at Takano San and his new hair.''

''Masamune,'' Yokazawa walked forward. '' What's with the fancy new hair do ?''

Silently, Takano frowned in exasperation as the group moved forward together, almost regretting coming to the party like this. '' What's with everyone fussing over me getting a hair cut ?''

Entering, Yokazawa broke off from team emerald, knowing the approaching onslaught was about to start.

''Takano San!'' A high pitched voice exclaimed. A group of mangakas, all female were looking at his direction. Sensei approached him, looking very excited. '' You look very handsome tonight !''

''Thank you,'' said Takano, smiling graciously even thought a wave of dread was rising in him as more mangakas were flocking towards him now.

* * *

''Thank you for working with me. Please enjoy the party.''

Onodera bowed respectfully, having ended a conversation with one of his authors. The author bowed back. '' You too, Onodera San.''

The brown haired editor turned, looking at the scene happening before him a distance away, and shook his head sadly. Takano was going to have a really hard time this year. Just then, Isaka San and his personal assistant appeared beside him.

''Well, just look at the commotion there,'' said Isaka. '' Emerald is as popular as ever, especially Takano with his jazzy new do. We'll see how they fend off the ladies this year.'' The CEO turned his attention to the other staff. '' Ah Onodera,'' Isaka put his arm around the brunette. '' And how's it going for you ?'' he enquired.

In a flash, the managing director leaned in quickly. ''Whatever you're doing,'' Isaksa whispered to Onodera him stealthily, '' keep it up.'' Emerald's sales has been soaring higher than ever. Isaka gave him a quick wink as he pulled away.

''Eh ?'' said Onodera, slightly confused.

_Is Isaka San talking about my work?_

''Keep up the good work Onodera,'' said Isaka again, sounding like he was talking about the brunette's job as an editor, and what a good progress he was making.

Flustered from the praise, Onodera replied. ''HAI !''

'' With Takano too, I mean.''

Upon realizing Isaka's meaning, Onodera blushed heavily, turning red even more than he would when he was drunk.

''Well, see you guys ! Happy New year! Enjoy the party !''

Haisegawa, Onodera's co-worker, came carrying a beer for him and another for himself. ''Here Onodera San,'' he said, taking a seep. '' It's going to be a long night.''

* * *

Onodera took a deep breathe. Throughout the night, he had a few drinks, and was reaching his limit soon before he pass out. It was a busy night, he didn't have the chance to see Takano, not that he should since he's on the job. Once again, it was non-stop socialising and wearing a smile. He was really honoured and grateful to meet the great authors but the alcohol was making him woozy.

''Onodera San,'' his boss called.

The brunette tried to hurry over. It was really warm.

''Why don't you rest early tonight ?'' suggested his boss. '' We're almost done here anyways.''

''Oh no. I'm fine,'' said Onodera, taking a look at the time, he said '' I can stay until midnight.''

''You sure ?''

''Hai.''

It was the New Year's eve party after all, a once in a year big company event. And it was almost time. Usually after mid night, everyone started to leave.

''Alright, if you insist. Look out for him Haisegawa.''

Haisegawa went over to Onodera. '' You sure you're alright ?''

''Hai,'' he said. ''If I don't drink any more than it's fine.'' He paused for a moment. '' I've actually got a room booked here.''

Surprised, Haisegawa give a started look.

''Well, if you pass out, I can carry you there.''

* * *

Stumbling, Onodera held on to his co-worker as they exit the lift, walking down the hallway.

''We're almost there,'' said Haisegawa as he held on to Onodera. Reaching into his pocket, the co-worker took the card out, sliding it through the slit. An approving beat sounded.

Opening the door, Haisegawa carried the almost unconscious Onodera across the hotel room, and deposited him onto the bed. Catching his breath, he heaves the editor's legs up the mattress and removes his shoe and socks. Sitting down, Haisegawa then removed Onodera's suit and his tie before proceeding to undoing the first button, and then the editor's belt.

Standing up, Haisegawa took and removed clothing and placed them on the armchair beside the bed, along with the key card. He switched on the table lamp. He looked at the knocked out editor.

Exiting the room, the co-worker offed the main lights, closed the door shut and headed for the lift.

* * *

Takano pressed a hand to his head, hard. He blinked and frowned. In the elevator, he was finally going to rest after the party. God knows how long he was stuck playing the drinking game with his authors.

Slowly, the lift stopped, opening its door. Shaking his head, Takano walked staggeredly down the hallway. He could still stand all alright, but his head was swimming. The hallway looked like it was swaying. A few particular years in his youth helped build up a tolerance but the new mangaka Isaka introduced sure could drink. He hadn't been this drunk since . . .

Ritsu

Where's Ritsu ?

Groaning and feeling warm, Takano slides his card down, twisting impatiently at the handle. Going in, he kicked off his shoes at the door, fumbling to take his socks off. Carelessly, he striped off his suit and tie, leaving a messy trail of clothes on the floor.

Approaching the bed, he saw Onodera already in it, sleeping on his side.

''Ritsu…'' Takano mumbled, feeling a surge of reassuring warmth at the sight of him. He got under the covers, pulling Ritsu towards him as he snuggled closer towards his love. Offing the lights, Takano pulled the cover over them.

* * *

Onodera groaned, experiencing the foggiest feeling ever. Strong sunlight blinded him temporarily as his vision adjusted. Had he already slept through the night ? Slowly, he heave himself upright against the pillow. Glancing around his surroundings, he looked around the unfamiliar place.

He wasn't wearing any clothes. Takano was beside him, similarly appearing naked under the cover, asleep and snoring.

''WHAT THE!''

Rudely, Takano woke to his sense as Onodera slammed his pillow onto him - repeatedly.

''GET UP !''

''What's going on ?'' asked Takano, rising as Onodera repeatedly hit him with the pillow.

''YOU JERK,'' Onodera shouted. '' How can you take advantage of me like that !''

''What are you talking about ?'' asked Takano, confused, his expression twisted sourly as the pillow pound into him again.

''You…'' Onodera said, glaring hotly at him.

Takano glanced around the room, looking at the trail of clothes on the floor and their uncovered selves. He recalled last night, drifting back to . . .

''Oh,'' said Takano in recognition of the situation. Lazily, he drops back down to sleep. '' We slept together last night.'' For the umpteenth time.

''How could you go back to sleep like that ?!'' demanded Onodera. '' I don't remember any at all !''

''Is that why you're freaking out for ?'' asked Takano, yanking Onodera back down to bed with him, holding him close. '' It's not like we haven't done this before.''

''That's not the point !'' Squirming around, Onodera tried to push himself out. '' We shouldn't do this so carelessly. I don't remember anything at all! And you shouldn't have taken advantage of me like that ! ''

''Hmmmm…'' Takano hummed deeply. '' I was pretty drunk myself last night,'' he said. '' If anything, we took advantage of each other mutually.''

''THAT'S NOT MAKING SENSE ! ''

''Well,'' said Takano, burying his nose into Ritsu's hair. '' I'm so glad it's you I slept with.'' Onodera widened his eyes. '' I would never forgive myself if it was anyone else.'' He met eyes with his brunette. '' You really don't remember anything?''

''No…'' mumbled Onodera regretfully.

'' That can't do,'' whispered Takano, getting on top of him. '' That can't do at all.''

.

.

.

* * *

HAHA, hope this was fun for you guys as it was for me :D


	51. Fight

Making use of his time on the weekends, Onodera grabbed one of his many unopened moving boxes. These past months have been such a hectic rush- as always- that he didn't have a chance to unpack. The boxes were still stacked against each other in the living room, a sight he has gotten used to but not quite like.

_A lot has happened _

Before Onodera knew it, the New Year has already arrived.

Thinking of what was happened in the previous few months, Onodera carried he box and moved it to the table, exploring the contents. In retrospect, it was still kinda surreal to the brunette that he was living with Takano - as lovers.

_I'm living with him. We're really together._

Even in this limbo state of a relationship with his parents.

Once again, his life has changed dramatically- all because of Takano Masamune. At the thought of his lover, the brunette's cheeks reddened; warmth flooded him.

Distracting himself, the brunette just realised how much stuff he hadn't unpack. There were still boxes of his clothes for other season sitting and waiting, plus did he always had so many books ? Moving his belongings around, Onodera sorted them out.

'' What are you doing ?'' asked Takano, coming out of the room when he heard all the rackus Ritsu was making.

''Unpacking.''

''Again ?'' asked Takano. '' How long more are you gonna unpack ?''

''I don't know,'' answered Onodera irritably. '' I'm unpacking slowly.''

''There's no need to unpack,'' said Takano, arguing back. '' It's neat as it is in the boxes.''

''I'm just going through my stuff.''

''Then don't bring your things around everywhere,'' Takano told him, vexed. The place was going to turn really messy and he just doesn't have the time to tidy everything up again.

''I am cleaning my things up ! '' said Onodera, raising his voice.

''Then don't put your box here,'' ordered Takano, his voice booming to match Onodera's.

''WHAT'S WRONG WITH PUTTING IT THERE?''

'' IT DOESN'T BELONG THERE !''

''THAT'S RIDICULOUS, '' yelled Onodera, their conversation escalating into a full blown argument. '' IT'S JUST FOR A SHORT MOMENT WHILE I UNPACK.''

''PFF,'' Takano snorted. '' Just for a short while ?'' he said skeptically, using a condescending tone.

Onodera glared at him.

''This is my apartment, Onodera,'' said Takano. It was his, after all. '' Please don't make a mess of it.''

With his arms folded tightly, Onodera glared angrily at the raven.

''Fine,'' he spat finally, grabbing his phone off the table swiftly. Approaching the door, Onodera stuffed his feet into his shoes. '' You can enjoy living here by yourself!'' Onodera yelled. A loud bang echoed around the room as the door was slammed shut, magnified by the four walls surrounding the lone editor.

Momentarily, Takano stood by himself, absorbed in the sudden loneliness that came when the brunette left, compounded by the stark fact that he was alone in the aprtment. A deep sense of dread and fear rushed through him, sending anxiety coursing through his veins. Onodera just left him.

Bursting through the doors, the editor in chief stopped abruptly. Onodera was standing right beside the door to his apartment. Without a word, the brunette stood unmoving, head lowered. His usually bright green eyes were dulled with unspoken sadness, fixated on the floor.

''Onodera,''

Takano stood out of his apartment, directing his gaze back on to his important person, his stiff shoulders relaxing visibly.

''Come back in,''

Rooted to his place, Onodera said nothing, hardly knowledge Takano's presence. Seeing Onodera like this, a heavy feeling tugged at the elder's heart, weighting him down.

''Please come back in,'' said Takano, appealing to the brunette as the latter stood rooted. '' I didn't mean to yell at you.''

Onodera' green eyes blinked slowly, as if he was going through a process. Finally, the editor slowly budged his feet, turning to move back in as his kept his gaze down. Takano closed the door quietly, locking it as they return back to their apartment. The editor in chief threw his keys on to the table.

''I'm sorry,'' he apologised as Onodera stood in front of him. Relief was calming him now. '' I didn't mean to yell at you like that.''

Onodera said nothing, giving Takano no clue what's he brunette thinking. Instead, Onodera stood solemnly like before, with his green eyes down casted.

''Onodera,''

Quietly, Takano called him, the sound of his voice dropping like a leaf in the wind.

''I'm sorry,''

Softly, Onodera apologised. '' I'm sorry. I shouldn't have argued with you.'' Lifting his gaze, he meet eyes with the editor in chief.

Takano pulled Onodera roughly towards him, colliding their lips together. Making out fiercely, the raven holds the brunette close to him. He widens his mouth, sucking and stealing Ritsu's air. Breaking apart abruptly, the editor in chief impatiently drags Onodera, pulling him along to the bedroom.

Takano tugged roughly on Onodera's cotton shirt, the urged to tear it apart. Onodera heard a snap of threads being pulled while the rest of his clothes fall. The brief cold from being exposed was quickly replaced by the embrace of hot skin. Takano leaned forward, placed their weight together as he pushed them down. Tumbling towards the bed, the brunette pulled him even closer, legs spreading out. Beads of sweat gathered down the back of their head, slipping down their necks.

Abandoning all logic, surrendering to their instincts; they moved into each other, closing all gaps in between them. The maddening sense of fear pushed them further and further, shoving themselves against each other. They can't lose each other – not now – not ever.

Clasping his hand over the younger's, the editor in chief was about to trap his hand under his. Instead, Onodera escaped his iron grip – burying his fingers into the raven's hair and gripping it tightly. For the first time, the brunette was fighting with him for dominance. Catching a gasp of air, Takano separated from Onodera, but only for a split second as the brunette pulled him tightly back down, sealing their lips together. With his legs wrapped around the raven's waist, Ritsu crossed his ankles, squeezing him tighter in between. A low, tortured moan erupted out of Takano as he bite down on Onodera's shoulder, hard. The editor in chief , wanting to hold another part of the brunette. More and more, they give parts of themselves to each other – parts they couldn't get back. More and more, the blurred out the lines defining them.

Onodera shifted, sliding downwards as he adjusted himself. Placing his lips on the raven's neck, the brunette pursed the soft muscles, and then enclosed them around the slender collar bone of his lover. Repeatedly, Takano moaned as Ritsu sucked on his collar bone, driving the raven to near madness as they fuck each other senseless.

* * *

Takano exhaled, waking up to the surrounding dimness around him. Everything slowed down for him. Like he had a muscle strain, he sat up, feeling like he aged a few decades. He hadn't been this sore since. . .

He turned, checking on Ritsu. The brunette was still asleep. Getting out of bed, he searched for his underwear, mostly likely discarded somewhere he couldn't find.

''….. ahum….'' Onodera rustled, waking up as well. Takano kissed his forehead, urging him to get back to sleep. '' I'll go make dinner.'' Instead of settling back, Onodera held on to his arm.

''Don't go.''

From the bed below, dazed green eyes lay fixed on him. The bare back of the brunette was exposed, keeping the rest under covers. Extending an arm out, Onodera held on to Takano's.

Instinctively climbing back, the editor in chief placed his arms around Onodera, cuddling. Holding him, the editor in chief accidentally made in contact with a raw spot on the brunette's shoulder. From the sudden pain, the brunette jerked away, flinching.

In the dim lights, Takano saw the hard bite he made on Ritsu's shoulder early on. The skin surrounding the teeth marks was purple and broken, swollen. It looked pretty bad.

''I'll go get the first aid kit.''

Slowly, Takano helped Ritsu up. Gently dabbing, he cleaned the wound.

''Does it still hurt ?''

''A little bit,'' said Onodera, wondering how was he going to shower with the wound. ''What am I supposed to do with this ?'' he cried, utterly embarrassed by love bite he had.

'' Go see the doctor,'' Takano told him firmly. He didn't want Onodera to get and infection from it.

After bandaging the wound, Takano closed the kit. Wrapping his arms around the brunette again, the two went back to snuggling, resting under the sheets.

''And tell him what ?'' fretted the brunette. How anyone could go in and explained how they could the mark while making incredibly passionate makeup sex ?

''Just show them the wound,'' said Takano. '' I'm sorry,'' he apologised after a moment. '' It was wrong of me to yell at you like that.''

''I'm sorry,'' said Onodera, his turn to apologise. '' I shouldn't have argued with you.''

''That's right,'' Takano uttered. Then in a louder and clear voice, he said,'' Don't leave like that again.'' The editor in chief looked down, finding green eyes peeking back at him.

''I won't.''

Takano leaned in, kissing Onodera tenderly on the lips.

* * *

Somewhere down a new week, the pair was out doing grocery shopping, strolling on the streets together.

''And I told him I would do my best to get the collection ready,'' said Onodera, recounting to Takano a particular hard time he had with an author while he still at Onodera publishing. '' I was _so_ swamped with work back then since they bought the deadline forward.''

''You have to negotiate with them,'' said Takano, advising on the matter with disdain. Doesn't Onodera know this ? '' You have with these type of people.''

''How do I negotiate with these people ?'' exclaimed Onodera, thinking about his situation back then.

''Onodera,'' said Takano, telling him straight, '' In any industry you have to negotiate. It's give and take.''

Reluctantly, Onodera agreed silently. He has to have the skill no matter where he goes. Quietly, he thought to himself.

_Takano san….. is always giving me advice. _

Stealthily, he snuck a glance at the older male. The senior was always ahead of him – wiser. It was attractive. Takano glanced at him, and moved to adjust Onodera's scarf, grinning slightly as Onodera smiled at him.

Onodera's attention shifted as something caught his eye. ''This shop is new,'' he said, discovering it. The shop had an antique European feel to it, like the secrets of the world were tucked in it. It looked intriguing.

''Don't you wanna go in ?'' asked Takano, catching the curious look on the brunette. A chime sounded as the editor in chief opened the door, announcing their arrival.

Wandering in, gentle music was playing, adding to the atmosphere of the place. Takano glanced at Ristu – the brunette looked so taken, his admiring eyes roaming around. The pair wandered around, taking a look at other interesting items the place has.

''Takano San,'' Onodera turned his shiny green eyes on him. '' Can we get some of these ?'' he asked meekly, pointing to some baked pasties displayed, pleading with him.

Takano smiled.

''Of course.''

As if he could ever say no to Ritsu.

Walking out the swinging door, Onodera had another paper bag in his hand, neatly packaged.

''Shall we go home ?'' asked Takano.

''Hai,'' Onodera agreed, smiling sweetly.

Takano drained his cup, throwing the empty drink into the bin. Freeing his hand, he took the small package in Onodera's hand and dropped it into one of the plastic bag, emptying Onodera's hand. Grabbing it, Takano curl his finger's around the brunette's slender ones.

Holding hands, they conversed on the way back, voices drifting off quietly as they walked.

'' The peaches we got looked pretty nice ….''

''Maybe we should get some more next time…''

.

.

.

* * *

**I have always wanted to see them have angry makeup sex after they get together. It'll be so hot *.* The pastry shop thing was based on one of the dvd cover, you know the one where Takano looks at Ritsu who was looking some baked goods ? It's lovely.**


	52. Match making

Another day for Takano. He goes to work, he gets back fom work. At the door, he gets to greet Ritsu with a kiss, and a hug. He gets to see him every day back at home. They share the wardrobe, the bed, the chores.

This routine of life, was safe, steady and stable.

Life was great.

As Onodera waked past him, Takano grabbed his waist and pulled the brunette down into his lap.

'' What are you doing ?'' asked Onodera, annoyed as Takano started giving him kisses on the neck.

''I'm being lovey dovely with you, that's what I'm trying to do.''

Onodera blushed at the words, and turned a deeper shade of red when he was suddenly pushed down on the couch, with a mischievous grinning Takano hovering over him.

_ZZeeZee ZeeZee_

Disrupting the mood, Onodera's phone suddenly vibrated loudly against the table.

''Leave it,''

Takano blocked Onodera, but the brunette managed to wiggle out of his embrace.

''It might be important,'' said Onodera, getting up to answer it much to Takano's disdain. At the caller's name, Onodera's eyes went wide, startled. Hastily, he moved into the bedroom, closing the door but not completely, piquing Takano's curiosity.

''Hello ?'' Onodera answered the call hesitantly. What could this be about ?

''Ritsu,'' his mom replied. It was her that called. '' How are you doing ?''she asked.

''I'm.. . fine,'' said Onodera, stunned by the call out of the blue. '' Is there something you want to talk to me about ?''

''Are you still with Takano San ?''

A beat of silence.

''I am.''

''Hmph,'' Mama Onodera disapproved. '' I thought so.''

''What are you calling about ?''

''Ritsu,'' started his mom on the proposition. '' I've arrange a blind date for you.''

''Huh ?! '' he exclaimed loudly. Unknown to him, Takako was right behind the door, eavesdropping.

_A blind date ?_

''What for ?''

''I know you're not going to listen to me,'' said Mama Onodera. '' But since you insist so much on staying with Takano San, I only want you to do this – go on this blind date with who I've picked out for you. If you don't like her, I won't push it any further.''

Thoughts raced through Onodera's mind. What was his mother planning ?

''Just this once ?'' asked Onodera.

''Just this once,'' reaffirmed his mother. '' If you meet her and still don't like her, I won't pursue the matter anymore.''

Onodera was confused. It sounded too… easy. '' Why are you doing this ?''

''Because I want to see you happy,'' said his mother, surprising him. '' I wanted the best person for you, but you even turned down An chan. Who can be better than her ? '' For a brief second, Mama Onodera thought of Takano. '' I don't think there's anything else I can do, Ritsu. I've looked through all the profiles and she seems like the best match.''

''But-''

''Ritsu,'' said his mother. '' Just this once, go on the blind date. Sit down and talk to her – give her a chance. If you still don't like her after that, I won't pursue the matter anymore.''

But what's the point of going when he knows it's just that one person he loved?

''. . . I don't think Takano San would be happy about this,'' said Onodera, considering his partner's feelings.

'' Just this once,'' said Mama Onodera.

''….''

If he won't go, Mama Onodera would never the matter rest.

''Just this once ?''

''Just this once,'' said the elder.

''. . . Okay . . .'' Onodera agreed. '' I'll go this once.''

'' Are you free next weekend ?''

''Hai,''

''Then next weekend it will be. I'll call you back again when the details are confirmed. Bye Ritsu.''

''Bye Mom.''

''What was all the about ?'' Approaching Onodera and shocking him, Takano demanded the moment the call ended. It didn't seem like a small matter.

''I . . .''

''Well ?''

''I'm going on a blind date ''

''A blind date ?'' Takano's scowling expression twisted even more, into an extremely unhappy one. ''What blind date ?'' With who ?

''My mom just called,'' explained Onodera. '' She say that if I go to this one blind date, and I don't like her, she won't pursue the matter anymore.''

In other words, she won't be against their relationship anymore.

Takano looked suspiciously at him. '' Are you sure it's not a trap ?'' he questioned sourly. The thought of Onodera going on a blind date irritated him greatly. Why the hell did he had to go on a blind date for ?

''I don't think so,'' said Onodera earnest, though equally confused as well. Fumingly, Takano considered the idea.

_If this it's just once and for all. . ._

Takano fixed his gaze on Onodera.

''Is it really just this once ?''

''That's what she said,''

''. . . ''

''Fine,'' said the editor in chief begrudgingly at last, agreeing only because it was the only way. Swiftly, he grabbed Onodera and pushed him down to the bed, straddling him. Hard brown eyes stared into green ones. He's not going to lose him again. The editor in chief won him fair and square.

''Just make sure she knows you're mine.''

.

.

.

* * *

Today was the day- the blind date.

The alarm clock rang shrilly by the side. The time was set early in the morning, and the editor had to get ready. Getting up, Onodera had enough time to turn the alarm off when he was yanked back. Folding his arms around the brunette's bare torso, Takano snuggled comfortably back in bed with him.

''Takano . . .'' Onodera tried to push his arms away, only to have them slide further down his body. '' I have to get up already.''

''Hmmm…'' Ignoring his protest, the raven placed a kiss on Ritsu's back, tempting to leave a mark there. A hand went in between his legs.

''Takano !''

Reluctantly, the editor in chief let go. Seducing him wasn't gonna work after all. Lazily, brown eyes followed the editor around the room, who went to grab his towel and clean underwear for a shower.

Takano sighed. He can't believe he was doing this – agreeing for Onodera to go on the blind date. As the sound of water spraying down in the shower sounded, the editor in chief contemplated joining the brunette in the shower.

_Maybe I should_

It's not like they haven't had shower sex before.

But then the brunette would get annoyed at him, knowing precisely the reason why he join in was to delay his meeting.

_Besides,_

Takano sat up, scratching around his neck, marked with various spots of purple, much like Onodera's.

_We've been going at it like crazy animals for the past week._

Onodera stepped out of shower, drying his hair with his towel. It was Takano's turn now, and he has to make breakfast.

''What are you doing ?'' asked Takano as he watched the brunette slap on some concealer on his neck.

''I'm putting on concealer,'' said Onodera. He couldn't possibly go to meet somewhere covered with hickeys all over.

Takano grumbled. He hated that. That was the whole point – marking Onodera as taken - his.

''What for ?''

''I have to be presentable,'' said Onodera. And polite, at the very least.

''I don't understand the whole point of it,'' Takano sulked, but brining up a point nonetheless. '' If you're only going there to reject her, you might as well not go.'' The brunette had even prepared his suit for the occasion. It looked like he was taking it seriously.

Onodera didn't argued with him , resigning to the fact that the older male was right. But he was only doing this for their sake.

''I have to do this,'' said the brunette. '' She say it will just be this once.''

''Hmpnh,'' Takano made his displeasure clear as glass, sounding very suspicious and skeptical altogether.

''Besides, we can always be friends,'' said Onodera as he tidy up his suit. throwing Takano off short a split second until the raven realised he was referring to him and his blind date, not them.

Unhappily, Takano frowned. The real reason why he was so against Onodera going on the blind date, was that he might be stolen by the other party. While Takano trusted the brunette completely, he still couldn't shake off the sense of fear that he could lose him in the slightest chance. Onodera was his, that's the end of it.

''Is she nice ?'' asked Takano as he steered the wheel ,in the car. He only saw her picture and closed her profile.

'' She seems nice,'' said Onodera. '' I wonder what picture my mom gave her,'' asked Onodera, wondering if he should share more about his blind date to Takano, or just stop there.

''I'll just wait out here,'' said Takano.

Onodera looked at him. '' You don't have to do this, you know.''

''I know,'' said Takano, but he wanted to. '' Just do it fast.''

''I can't be rude,'' said Onodera. Reassuringly, he placed a hand on Takano's arm. '' I will be back when it's done.''

''Just find me when you're done.''

* * *

The hotel had a swanky lobby, expensive and classy. Already seated there was his blind date, a lovely lady by the name of Kimiko. The brunette sat down and introduced himself.

''Good afternoon, I'm Onodera Ritsu. Pleased to meet you.'' They shook hands.

''Good afternoon, I'm Kimiko,'' introduced Kimiko. She was around An chan's height but she had shoulder length, neat black hair and cheerful eyes. ''Would you like to order something from the menu ?''

They both looked at the menu, and ordered a cup of drink along with a dessert item each.

''I saw that you like to read,'' started Onodera.

Kimiko lowered her gaze, smiling softly. '' Yes, I like to read, specifically the horror genre.''

''That's an interesting genre,'' said Onodera. '' I don't really read horror but I have read 'The ring'.''

''That's a good one,'' agreed Kimiko. '' You're an editor at Marukawa shouten, correct ?''

''Hai,'' said Onodera. '' I edit shouju manga.''

''Shouju manga ! How's it like in there ?''

''Well. . .''

* * *

Outside in the open space, Takano sat, his feet tapping anxiously on the ground. He had texted Ritsu he was in the zen garden instead. Natural warm sunlight shone down in the garden, making it a relaxing site for guests to enjoy. A few other guests were there as well, crossing the bridge or taking a walk around. Trying not to think too much, Takano immersed himself to his surroundings, seemingly staring off into space as a lone patron.

Time passed as the pair conversed, about their jobs, Onodera's overseas schooling and hobbies. Turns out, Kimiko when abroad to study as well. She was also an only child.

Kimiko came from a wealthy background, with family members as high ranking civil servants working in the government, but she herself chose a simple job as a kindergarten teacher.

''Do you like children ?'' asked Onodera.

''Hai,'' Kimiko said, her eyes showing warmth at the mention of kids. '' They're just so pure and honest.''

Onodera agreed to that, as an adult, he understood what she meant.

''My parents were initially against the idea of me becoming a kindergarten teacher, '' revealed Kimiko. ''They thought is wasn't a good proper job.''

_A good proper job ? what could be better than nurturing the children ?_

Onodera resisted saying that out loud.

''My parents are against a lot of things, actually. . . '' continued Kimiko.

''I understand,'' said Onodera, coming from the same situation.

''Onodera San . . . '' Kimiko looked very apologetically at him. ''I have something to tell you – I have someone I love.'' Kimiko stood up and bowed sharply. '' I apologise for wasting your time. Please forgive me.''

Alarmed, Onodera got up. '' It's alright! You don't have to do this.'' Some guests were turning around to find what the commotion was.

''But I have to,'' said Kimiko tearfully. '' My parents – they don't approve of him. ''

Onodera felt a pang of empathy for her. ''Kimiko San,''

''Hai ?''

''Actually,'' confessed Onodera. '' I have my own selfish reason to be here as well,'' he explained, his green eyes conflicted. '' I have someone I love too.'' Deeply embarrassed, the brunette bowed apologetically, returning her gesture.

''So we're in the same boat then,'' said Kimiko, giving a small smile at their misfortune. Taking their seat, the pair continued.

''I'm so sorry,'' apologised Kimiko. '' I didn't want to come but I had to. My parents went on about how great of a catch you were and how much they think you will suit our family.'' She bowed again. ''Onodera San,'' please – let me ask you of this favour – please reject me. I will do the same''

''Kimiko San … '' Onodera's voice drifted. '' Please be assured. I will turn you down to my parents.''

''Thank you very much, Onodera San,''

''But Kimiko San…. You can't keep going to blind dates and reject them …. Right ?''

Kimiko smiled wanly. '' I told them I will only be going this once, since they begged me to go before. If they persist. . .''

Onodera felt a strong pang in his heart for her. They're both birds trapped in a golden cage. '' It's been a pleasure to meet you,'' the editor stuck out his hand for her to shake. ''I wish you all the best.''

''It's been my pleasure too,'' Kimiko shook his hand, both sure that they were going to turn each down. '' All the best.''

* * *

After the blind date ended, the kindgarden teacher had a moment to herself. Taking out her phone , she called a number. A car came rolling around the side of the hotel.

''Good afternoon Kimiko Sama,'' greeted Kenshin, her butler, opening the car door for her. Instead, Kimiko went around to the other side of the car, and sat in the front seat next to the driver's instead of the back.

''You can just call me Kimiko,'' the lady told him, countless time already. Despite her insistence that she didn't need to be chauffeured around after moving out of the mansion, Kenshin still persisted to do so, even to something as her blind date.

Kenshin blushed, not used to adapting to the familiarity between them despite having grown up together with her. He as her butler, and she as the young lady of the house. At the fact of their social status difference, the thing that kept them apart, Kimiko grew sad.

''Is something wrong Kimiko Sama? Did the man said something mean ?''

''No. . . '' Kimiko drifted. ''He's just not the one I love.''

* * *

'' So Ritsu,''his mom inquired, '' how did you find her ?''

''She seems nice,'' said Onodera honestly. '' But I don't think I'm what she's looking for either.''

Mama Onodera sighed in resignation. '' She said the same thing too.''

''There's no more after this, right ?'' asked Onodera.

''Are you very sure you want to be with him ?''

''Hai,'' answered Onodera, blushing as he lowered his gaze in embarrassment. '' He's the one I love.''

''Well, at least I've tried. You're already a grown man and you can make your own decisions. I can't decide everything for you forever. ''

''Mom,'' started the brunette. '' Thank you for all you have done for me,'' said Ritsu, thanking his parent in gratitude.

''Ritsu,''

''Hai ?''

''Please remember take care of yourself.''

* * *

Onodera went out, finding Takano seated in the zen garden.

''Did you wait long ?'' asked the brunette, giving him a small smile.

At the sight of Onodera coming to him, and smiling brightly, all the anxiety and fear dissolved instantly and swiftly. ''No,'' answered Takano.

The raven smiled as Onodera took his hand in his, walking hand in hand with each other.

''Let's go home.''

.

.

.

Back at home, Takano placed his lips over Ritsu's, kissing him gently. Lovingly, Onodera kissed him back, giving the older many of his little small kisses.

It really felt great to be able to hold Onodera as his. All his. Ten years ago, Takano met him and fell in love. A decade later, somehow things has been arrange for them to cross path again, and this time Onodera was his.

Takano cupped one of Ritsu cheek as the brunette wrap his arms around his waist, kissing Onodera deeper, enjoying the pressure of his lip and the small moans coming from Ritsu.

It has all settled down now.

.

.

.

* * *

**The last hurdle is over ! I'm almost done guys. Just a few more chapter to go...**


	53. Angles

In the evening at home, Onodera sat at the table, sorting through documents in the folder when he felt the vibrations in his pocket.

''Yes ?'' Onodera answered the call from Takano, sudden in the night. Was he going to work overtime again ?

'' Onodera,'' In the emerald office, Takano turned his neck, balancing his phone between his ear and shoulder as he flipped through some papers.

''Hai ?''

'' Have you eaten ?''

''Hai,'' he paused, and asked '' what about you ?''

''I've eaten. ''

Silecne on the phone.

'' Takano San,''

''Hmmm ?''

''Is there something you wanted to tell me ?''

''Nothing,'' said Takano. '' I just wanted to hear your voice,'' he answered plainly.

Onodera blushed over the phone, not expecting the answer.

''That's all ?''

''That's all. . . I love you,'' Takano told him. '' Don't stay up too late.''

Silence stayed on the phone, moments before the same declaration travelled back in Onodera's embarrassed but sincere voice.

''I love you.''

''See you soon.''

* * *

Removing his shoes, Takano was finally back at home.

''Tadaimasu,'' Tired, but glad to be back, Takano greeted the brunette. It felt really nice to be able to say that, with Ritsu around in the house.

''Okaeri. Have you eaten ? '' asked Onodera.

''Not yet,'' said Takano. He had a bit of a late night snack back at the office- coffee.

''I'll go heat up something for you,'' said Onodera, getting up to get him some food. Takano stopped him. Instead, he pulls them down together on the couch.

''Takano San . . .''

''It's alright,'' said Takano, hugging him. He's not hungry. Hell week was approaching and he has to spend 3 days way from Onodera - again. All he want to do was to hug him.

''Is something wrong ?''

''Nothing …. It's just. . . the end of the cycle is coming and we have a heavier workload this round. I won't be around that much.''

Hearing that, Onodera softened. The editor in chief wanted to spend more time with him. ''You'll still see me in the company.''

''I know,'' said Takano. Gazing at Onodera, the editor in chief looked worn. On one hand, he loved his job; on the other, he wanted to spend more time with Ritsu.

Seeing him like that, Onodera leaned in, kissing him softly on the lips.

Takano sighed his name, leaning in to rest his head on the brunette's shoulder. ''. . .Ritsu. . .''

The brunette waited.

''I want to fuck.''

* * *

Takano couldn't help it - he wanted Onodera, even more so when it was the brunette who initiated the kiss.

On the edge of the bed, Takano had Onodera on his lap, kissing him hard and fierce. Balancing him, the brunette hand slung his arms over the raven's shoulders. Still dressed, Takano took one of Ritsu's hand, sliding it down the front of him jeans.

''Touch me,'' he growled. It wasn't fair of Onodera to tease him like this.

Takano watched, sensing his partner wanted to share something but was too afraid to voice it out. ''Onodera,'' he asked. '' Do you want to ride me ?''

Startled, the editor looked up.

_How did ? . .. _

Takano stripped his jeans off, eyes trained on Ritsu all the while.

''You strip too, '' he said, waiting. Onodera took off his pants, making Takano even more aroused. At the sight of his naked lover kneeing, his cock hardened even more, straight up. Grabbing Ritsu's hips, he grabbed him forward while sliding down for the right position to fit. ''Sit.''

Both men let out a cry of ecstasy as they fit into each other. Keenly aware he was in between Ritsu's legs, Takano gathered his legs and pushed them around him.

''Am I hurting you ?'' asked Onodera.

Instead of answering, Takano told him what to do. '' Shut up and fuck me already.''

At the words, Onodera began moving up and down, slowly at first, and then gradually building up speed. Takano grabbed the brunette's cock, doing him like he's life was on it.

Onodera placed his hands on the raven's chest, fingers touching his nipples. Unsure of whether or not he should proceed. Guiding him, the older looked him in the eye, urging him to go on.

Takano never knew - what an incredible view it was at this new angle, to have Ritsu on top of him, his beautiful body displayed so teasingly.

Low moans erupted from the raven as he tightened his grip on Ritsu's hips, pounding against him.

* * *

Bleary, Onodera checked the time. It was in the middle of morning. And he hasn't showered yet. Blindly grabbing at the clothes below, he found a shirt. Turning it out, he wore it, proceeding to turn on the table lamp. Standing up, he wanted to grab new clothes.

'' What are you doing ?''

Takano had woke up, eyeing Onodera.

''Huh ?'' Confused, the brunette looked back at him.

''Why are you wearing my shirt ?'' questioned Takano harshly. It was only then did Onodera realize he had worn the other's shirt by mistake. Before he could answer, the editor in chief yanked back to bed, immediately getting on top of him.

Fuck

Ritsu in his shirt was so sexy. It was long enough to almost cover him up appropriately, letting little bits slip through. He couldn't hold back.

''Taka-''

Ravishing him, Takano indulged in the sight before him, lapping it up. ''This is all your fault,'' he hissed. He pushed the shirt up, stopping below the neck, exposing his nipples. Without hesitation, he played them with his mouth and fingers, fucking Ritsu in his shirt.

* * *

While walking down the shopping district in central Tokyo, the editors dressed casually. The season was steadily changing again. They were out shopping for a gift – for Onodera's mother. For the elder, Takano had suggested buying her a shawl.

''An chan already got her that,'' said Onodera, fussing over it.

''What does your Dad buy for her then ?''

''Mostly jewellery,'' answered the only son. '' When I was a kid, my dad would always come and ask me-'' Onodera exaggerated his voice '' Ritsu, what should I buy for your mom ?'' And I always tell him ''Buy her some books!' He laughed and really did got her some books, saying it was my suggestion.''

''How about your just visit them?'' asked Takano. ''I'm sure your presence would be appreciated.'' Onodera pondered. It has been a while since they had a family meal together. Maybe he can bring his parents out for a meal.

Approaching a jewellery store, Onodera was reminded of another fact as he slowed down. Stopping in front of the display window, he mumbled. '' Their anniversary is coming up too.''

Takano stopped beside him, looking at the rings out on display. Expensive jewellery of all type were out on display, the lights casting the spotlight on their sparkling gems.

As Onodera went on mumbling on his parents, Takano cast a glance in his direction, and then back to the rings on display.

* * *

Takano propped an elbow up, leaning on it as he watch Ritsu sleep. The brunette was in his pyjamas, eyes delicately closed, asleep with a sweet smile. His hands over the blanket, tucked to his chest. Watching him, Takano couldn't help smile as well.

Why did Ritsu have to be so sweet even when he was asleep?

_I wonder what is he thinking about . . . _

Takano leaned in closer, going to give a soft kiss on him until Ritsu started speaking.

''Umi Sensei….'' Onodera smiled happily.

Takano stopped.

Who the hell was Umi Sensei ? And why was Onodera dreaming about him.

Opening his mouth, the older male leaned in, intending to give Onodera a rude kiss to wake him up, until Onodera spoke again.

''Takano….San ….''

Onodera's smile spread even wider, giving Takano the happiest smile he's ever seen from him.

''_I did it !'' exclaimed Onodera triumphantly, rejoicing. '' I finally did it. I finally produced a best selling author based on my own merit!''_

_Takano was standing in front of him. One of Onodera's authors, Umi sensei's newest book of her series was no.1 on the best sellers list. He did it. Onodera finally did it. After congratulating Umi sensei, the editor saw Takano ahead and ran ahead to share the good news with him._

''_Is that so ?'' the editor in chief said. He placed a hand in Onodera's hair, gently ruffling it. '' I knew you could do it.''_

_Onodera beamed at him, suddenly feeling ticklish from the kisses the older man gave._

'' Don't wanna,'' Onodera squirmed around, smiling as in real life, Takano leaved kisses all over him.

* * *

Onodera's eyes fluttered open. He sat up and blinked.

What a wonderful dream.

Stretching around, he yawned loudly. The space beside him was empty. Takano was already up.

''Finally up ?'' Takano entered. '' You were smiling so happily in your sleep.''

''Ah…'' Onodera said lazily, remembering his dream. '' What a wonderful dream.''

''What were you dreaming about ?'' asked Takano

''Something. . . '' Onodera said secretively, heading for the toilet, and closed the door.

Knowingly, Takano sat outside on the bed, waiting for the brunette to come out. Exiting, Onodera took a few steps ahead when Takano stepped in front of him.

''Onodera, '' Takano stopped him, asking him upfront '' did you dream of me ?''

Caught, Onodera looked away bashfully , cheeks pink.

''Maybe…''

''Maybe ?'' Takano took a step forward, lips moving closer.

''Maybe,'' Onodera whispered. Leaning in, they kissed.

.

.

.

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**I'm sorry it took me so long to update ! Hope you enjoy this shorter chapter !**


	54. Relations

Light flooded the room, brightening the apartment in the afternoon. The two editors were at home, one was having his cup of coffee while the other flipped through a manuscript.

Takano stared at Onodera. They have been living together for around half a year now, and been in love with each other for more than that.

It started faint, the thought surfaced in his head when they stopped at the jewellery shop the other day, and it grew into an idea. The editor in chief couldn't possibly find a reason _why not_. He loved Ritsu, and the brunette was the only person he wanted to spend his life with.

Still, it was more of an impulse of him to have done so.

'' Onodera,'' Takano called, his tone implying a question to be asked.

''Hai ?''

''Come here, please,'' said Takano, seated at the dining table in the living room.

Curiously, the brunette went over.

'' What do you think of us getting married ?'' asked Takano.

At the drop of the question, Onodera whirled around. From the pocket of his pants, the editor in chief produced out a small box. Opening it, he set it on the kitchen table, revealing a pair of matching rings.

_Marriage ? _

''I know we can't get married in the traditional sense,'' said the editor in chief, fully aware of the limitations and restrictions with the current world they live in. '' But there's a place in Kyoto that can get a ceremony done.''

Still stunned, Onodera merely stared back at him. He had given some thought of their future, but he has never considered marriage. It was technically out of the question since they don't fit into the traditional definition of it, but Takano was asking him right then and there.

Did he want to get married ?

''We're Japanese, and I thought we should do something based on our home grounds. But if overseas is an option for you, we can explore that as well.''

''Takano san….'' Onodera voiced.

Takano glanced at the opened box. The pair of rings sat there, gleaning in the light. He locked his brown eyes on Onodera's. ''I thought it was clear to the both of us I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Don't you?''

The brunette does but …

''We're already acting like an old married couple anyways.''

''Isn't this too sudden ?'' It had never occurred to Onodera that the raven would consider something like marriage.

''What's so sudden?'' Takano's expression revealed nothing. '' Do you not want to do it ?''

''No… '' Onodera spluttered. '' I mean… I don't mean 'no' no but …''

''Is it about your parents ?'' asked Takano, guessing his concern. ''We can find a date and I'll ask them formally for your hand, if that's what you're worried about, but I doubt they could be against the idea that much anymore. As for my parents… you can forget about them.''

Onodera remained silent, looking rather conflicted.

''Do you not like the rings?''

''No ! It's not that,'' Onodera protested strongly. '' I … I have to consider about it.'' The editor has never thought of doing a ceremony together.

_I always thought it would just be like this._

Living together, being together.

At that, Takano's expression had a subtle shift of sadness and disappointment that did not went unnoticed by Onodera.

'' I love you,'' blurted the brunette, drawing the raven's attention back to him.

''But ?''

''I …. I …''

''Consider it, '' said Takano, leaving the box there. ''It's just a ceremony done,'' he said, making it sound lesser than what it really meant to him.

Onodera's attention returned back to the rings, shiny under the light.

* * *

.

.

.

''Marriage,'' mumbled Onodera. It has been around a week since Takano had brought up the topic. And the brunette still couldn't give a reply. The entire week has been normal but with more awkwardness on his part. With the box in hand, he thought to himself.

Grabbing the little thing, he bought it up to closer inspection. The rings were of rose gold, one bigger than the other, with a small diamond in the middle. It was perfect enough for an engagement, and for everyday way.

Onodera walked to where to the bookshelves were, near the windows and leaned against it as he felt the sunlight on him. He studied the rings again and closed it.

''Marriage ….''

That makes them more official than anything.

_Well, I doubt it could bring any more changes then what it is now._

They're already living together and making meals for each other. Like the editor in chief said, it was like they're an old married couple already.

_But..._

Takano walked out of the room, catching Ritsu at the bookshelves. The younger closed the box, opened it, and then closed it shut again.

''Don't feel pressured.''

''Huh ?'' Startled, Onodera turned.

''Don't feel pressured,'' Takano told him, coming over. '' I don't want you to agree to this willy nilly just because you feel pressured to agree.''

''It's not that,'' said Onodera. _It's just . . ._

'' You worry about what society thinks?'' finished Takano. Judging by the guilty look from Ritsu, he was right. ''What the heck … '' voiced Takano, sounding like Onodera was fussing over nothing. '' So that's what you're worried about.''

'' It's a real reason to worry !'' exclaimed Onodera. '' Aren't you ?''

''Of what?'' asked Takano. '' It's not like I'm doing anything wrong. There are lots of people who aren't straight. Who cares what society thinks ?''

Onodera turned away, having no way to rebuttal him. It's true that …

_I do love him, and to be honest; I don't think I can imagine my life with Takano San now._

''If anyone ask, the ring speaks for itself,'' said Takano. '' They can gossip all they want but I'm not gonna give a damn,'' he told Onodera. '' I want to spend the rest of my life you; no one – or anything else, is gonna change that.''

Hearing that, Onodera blushed deeply.

''Well,'' concluded Takano, eyeing him. '' I'll wait for you, until you're ready.''. Putting a hand up, Takano ruffled Ritsu's hair affectionately, and kissed him on the forehead. Onodera's heart slammed against his chest. Quietly, the pair did nothing but gazed at each other.

At that moment, Onodera Ritsu could feel the slam of his heart; beating in his soul like it wants to rush out.

With the conversation over, the editor in chief was ready to leave.

''I want to –''

Startled, Takano turned back. Onodera was looking at him, straight in the eyes.

''I want to-'' said the editor, '' – I want to spend the rest of my life with you too.''

Hearing that, the editor in chief smiled a wide genuine happy smile. Looking at it was akin to a watching the rarest flower bloom.

''Well, that was fast.''

''Let's do it,'' said Onodera firmly, his greens eyes fixed with determination.

Takano took the smaller ring – the one meant for Onodera, and took the brunette's hand in his. Carefully, he slided the ring up.

''How did you know my size ?'' Onodera asked.

''I have my ways,'' said Takano. He secretly measured it when the brunette was asleep. Initially, the raven was worried he the measurements would be wrong.

''Does it fit ?''

Holding his hand up against the sunlight, the brunette admired the ring, shining brightly under the light.

'' Hai,''

* * *

'' When should we set the date?''

''Hmm…. '' Onodera and Takano first thought of their schedule, and tried looking for a mutual period where they could take several days off.

'' What is it ?'' asked Takano, knowing that particular expression – the one which Onodera wants to says something but wasn't.

''Nothing….'' Said Onodera, '' I was … just thinking about honeymoon….'' He whispered softly, turning red. The brunette knew it was unlikely they could take more than a few days off at once, especially with the raven as his job as the editor in chief.

Takano studied him.

''I was just saying. If there's no time for it, it's alright. I mean, we're both busy after all.''

''Let's see if we can fit a day in for sight-seeing.'' It's not that Takano didn't want to treat Ritsu better, but practicality was restricting him. He kissed Onodera on the forehead. '' I'll make up to you.''

''Who are we going to invite ?''

Onodera thought. '' It's just my parents . . .And maybe I should invite An chan as well.''

''Hmm… inviting your ex-fiance to the wedding.''

Onodera blushed. ''She's an old friend.''

''I'm sure she would love to come,'' said Takano sincerely; no doubts about it.

''I'll most likely just invite Yokozawa, if he's interested. That's all for my side.'' The editor in chief glanced at his partner, who had a slight shift in his expression. ''Does that bother you ?''

''No, no. Please invite him,'' said Onodera, knowing how important their friendship was.

_I'm sure everything between all of us is in the past, right ?_

''It's all in the past,'' said Takano, saying the exact same thing Onodera was thinking.

''I know,'' replied the younger, distracted by another important thought.

_What about his parents? But then he said he lost contact with him after they got divorce, but still…_

'' What about your mom ?'' asked Onodera. No matter what, she has still his mother. At least that biological fact couldn't be changed.

''Don't bother with her,'' said Takano, as straightforward and direct as he always has. Expressionless, he carried on. '' I lost contact with her years ago. She won't have the time anyways.''

Quietly, Onodera didn't say anything else, but still, it felt wrong to him. Maybe he could at least get the message across to her, but then again…

_I'm sure Takano's mom doesn't know her son is in love with a man._

Maybe it was best to leave it be.

_But then, it's his wedding._

She should at least be informed, right ?

''What was your mom's name ?'' asked Onodera.

''Kotoko,'' answered Takano. '' I don't know what's her last name though, after she got remarried.''

''Kotoko . .. '' mumbled Onodera.

* * *

''PLEASE LET US GET MARRIED''

Papa and Mama Onodera looked stunned.

Onodera and Takano were on the knees, bowing down to Ritsu's parents, showing utmost respect and seriousness. They had just asked for permission to get married, with the brunette yelling louder and nearly drowning out the latter's voice due to his nerves.

''What….''

Having no response for a period, Takano got up and bowed again. '' Please give me your son.''

The pair heard silence.

'' I knew something was up,'' said Mama Onodera, folding her arms. They were in an expensive private room in one of the most high end traditional Japanese restaurant in the city – something was definitely up. '' I should have guess it was about marriage.''

Until the seniors gave permission, the two editors kept their head down, kneeing.

'' This was just like the time I asked for your hand,'' said Papa Onodera, laughing at the similarity. It was the almost the exact same setting. ''Please rise, the two of you.''

Onodera rosed, his face flushed with embarrassment. Takano, on the other hand, was still kneeing.

''Please rise, Takano San.''

Takano remained.

'' Please rise, Takano San. If not, how can we discuss things?''

Reluctantly, the older rose.

Mama Onodera took a deep breathe. '' The two of you want to get married ?''

''Hai !'' the pair unanswered unanimously. Takano spoke.

''There's a temple in Kyoto where we can get a ceremony done.''

Papa Ondoera looked intrigued. ''There is? That's interesting.''

Takano bowed again, sincerely and respectfully, surprising Onodera who had never seen the raven this zealous before. '' Please let me marry your son. I will look after him with the utmost care and love him for the rest of my live. Please give us your blessings.'' Onodera bowed down as well.

Papa Onodera looked over at his wife. The two shared a look.

''Are you sure you can take care of my son ?'' Mama Onodera's voice filled the room with her intimating voice.

''I will take better care of Ritsu and treasure him more than anyone else,'' said Takano.

Mama Onodera considered. She looked at the earnest way Takano was bowing, and Ritsu's flustered and nervous body language. They really wanted this.

She sighed. '' Do you have a date set ?''

'' We are considering a few dates.''

Papa Onodera give his consent. '' You have my blessing. What about you Mama ?''

Mama Onodera studied the pair before them.

''If you fail to make Onodera happy,'' Mama Onodera said, '' you will never step into Tokyo again.''

''That will never happen,'' said Takano firmly.

Finally, she relented.'' You have my blessing.''

'' DOUMO ARITGATOU GOZAIMASU! ''

* * *

Onodera sat in the seat, waiting outside an office. He was in a law firm, having fixed an appointment with a lawyer by the name of Fujita Kotoko.

''_What can I assist you with ?'' the private detective asked over the video call. Onodera had to resolve to hiring a detective to find the raven's mother. It was the only way since searching online didn't help much. _

''_I'm looking for someone,'' said Onodera. The detective nodded. _

''_May I ask what is the goal of find this person ?''_

_Onodera blushed, wondering how much can he say. ''Some one important to me is getting married soon, and I would like to invite his mom, or at least let her know of this news. He stopped contacting her after his parent's divorced around ten years ago. ''_

_Hearing his purpose, the detective softened. He gets cases like these every now and then, missing people or finding a family member they lost contact with, and has enough experience to know he should ask what is needed. _

''_Do you have any information for me to start ?''_

''_Hai !''answered Onodera enthusiastically , grabbing a notepads which he jot down all the details he knew. '' Her birth name should be Kotoko, and after being married it was Saga Kotoko. The divorce was around ten years ago, and she married so it should be something else. Her hometown is Fukuoka and that's where she moved back to after he divorce. I'm not sure if she went back to Tokyo. Her profession then was a lawyer so she most likely still is. I'm guessing her age is around mid-fifties, at the very least, since her son is turning 30 this year.''_

_The detective nodded. These were all good things to start with, the basics were covered. And if she's a lawyer, it's unlikely she changed profession. Given the time gap, she might even be a partner of a law firm._

''_Thank you very much for the information. Would you be so kind to email me all these ? It would help greatly. '_

''_Of course.''_

''_Would you happen to know which city she would be in ?''_

''_I'm sorry, I don't,'' Onodera's spirit dimmed. ''She was based in Tokyo ten years back but then she moved back to after the divorce.''_

_Takano San wasn't told me anything else._

''_It's alright,'' assured the detective. It was his job. ''I will get back to you the soonest I can,''he replied._

''_Could you get back to me in a week?''_

_The detective paused. ''I will do my best and update you on it. ''_

Onodera nervously flipped the small piece of paper he had folded. Scribbled in it was what the detective had told him.

''_Onodera San,'' the detective got back to him. '' I found someone who matched your descriptions. Kotoko isn't that much of a common name, and I managed to narrow it down. Her name is Fujita Kotoko and she's a senior lawyer at Ajino law firm in Tokyo.''_

Onodera was beyond lucky to be able to find a match, and even more so that Kotoko could slot him in after work, albeit it was only 15 minutes, but that was all that he need.

''_And what matter would you be like to be advised on ?'' enquired the assistant over the phone when Onodera was making an appointment._

'_Erm…'' the brunette floundered, thinking of something he could say. '' Family matters.''_

''What a lousy lie I've told,'' Onodera chided himself.

''Onodera San ?'' The brunette jumped. The receptionist had just called him. ''Please follow me .''

The brunette rose

It's now or never.

* * *

''Good evening Onodera San,'' started Kotoko immediately, extending her hand out. Awkwardly, Onodera took her hand and shook it, in a daze. Suddenly, all the words he rehearsed ran from his head. A single thought occurred to him.

_Takano San…._

''Please take a seat.''

_Really looked like his mom._

Although the parent was approaching her golden years, Onodera still could see the similar features she shared with Takano – the eyes and elegant nose, even the cold no-nonsense exterior.

''How can I help you ?''

''Well…. I … erm,'' Onodera stammered having no clue what to say. In his chest, his heart was pumping nervously. What had he gotten himself into?

''You mentioned that it was about family.''

Onodera took a deep breathe, and composed himself. '' I'm here on behalf of Masamune.''

Kotoko looked blankly at him. ''Masamune ?''

Onodera nodded. Kotoko looked confused.

''Your son,'' he prompted. '' From your first marriage.''

At the mention of Takano, Kotoko's expression changed. This was something she did not want to discuss. '' I lost contact with him years ago.''

'' I understand,'' said Onodera, facing her straight on. '' He's getting married soon.''

Kotoko turned quietly for a brief moment. '' Onodera San,'' said the lawyer coldly. The brunette nearly withdrew from her harshness. Was this the parent figure who Takano grew up around?

''This is a consultation for my service as a lawyer. I am not here to discuss my personal matters. I do not want to waste your time or mine, I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave.'' The elder started to stand up.

''WAIT !'' exclaimed Onodera loudly. '' 5 minutes,'' he said, holding up his hand. ''Please just give me 5 minutes. I'm paying for this time.''

In resignation, Kotoko sat down, her lips pursed in displeasure.

''I know. . '' started Onodera, looking at her as he find his words. '' I know you and Tak- Masamune have lost contact year ago, and that both of you have moved on from each other's life but-'' The editor paused, swallowing. '' He's getting married soon – to me.''

Hearing that, there was a change in the icy front of the lawyer's expression, to one showing mild shock.

Nervously, Onodera continued. '' I know it's shocking that he's getting married to a man, and that you might not accept it. But I felt that – that- I should let you know, since you are his mother.''

From his bag, the editor took out a small card, one of their few handwritten invitation he and Takano had written. This was one he wrote on his own. Gingerly, he placed the card on her table.

Kotoko glanced at it.

''Does Masamune even wants me there?''

Wordlessly, Onodera didn't answer her.

''I appreciate your efforts Onodera San,'' said Kotoko. '' But you don't understand the relationship – or should I say lack of it – that me and Masamune has.'' Saying that, the lawyer remembered the last conversation she had with her son.

''_Masamune,'' the parent called. '' You're graduating from college soon. I'm only giving you one more month's allowance as extra until you find a job. If you haven't start looking, you should start now. There won't be more after that.''_

_Silence from the other end._

''_Masamune ?''_

'' _You can keep the money,'' came her son. ''I don't need it.''_

''_Masa-''_

''_I don't need it,'' he stated firmly. '' It's not like you ever truly cared about my situation,'' ended Takano, hanging up. _

Nonetheless, Kotoko gave him the amount but received a deposit of it back to her bank a few days after. After that, the two communicated by emails and text message- only when necessary, and even that stopped eventually.

Part of the reason why Kotoko was so distant as a parent was because she did not want to be reminded of her failed marriage and relationship, or the mistake she made. She did not planned to have children but when it happened, part of her did wondered whether it was correct to have a child.

Deep down, the elder did regret not fostering a better relationship with her son after learning from her second marriage about what it truly means to have a family and comprising some things. But it was too late by then and their relationship as mother and son were long over.

She could see the earnest and sincerely coming from the man before him, but it was too much of a lost cause. The senior did not have the time for it anyways. The elder got up from her seat, and went to open the door.

''Thank you for your time,'' she said politely, holding the door for Onodera.

In defeat and resignation, Onodera carried his bag and approached the door. Standing face to face with Kotoko, he stopped.

''I …. You . . .''

Kotoko waited.

''You. . .really remind me of Masamune,'' said Onodera finally, taking his leave.

.

.

.

Walking to the station, Onodera chided himself for not being able to express himself better.

_What was that ?! Argh. . . If only I had the right words! And I'm a literature editor for god's sake!_

Sighing, he comforted himself.

_Maybe it's better this way. Masamune didn't want to come, after all._

Back in her office, Kotoko took the small card, opening to see its contents.


End file.
